2x $0 eBooks: Anne of Green Gables Collection & The Complete Works of Edgar Allan Poe (Illustrated Edition)

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POzii on 14/07/2017 - 07:33 amazon.com (775 clicks)
Last edited 16/07/2017 - 10:16

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Anne of Green Gables Collection: Anne of Green Gables, Anne of the Island, and More Anne Shirley Books (EverGreen Classics) [Free Audiobook Links Included] Kindle Edition

Don't Miss a Moment with Anne Shirley in this Anne of Green Gables Bundle

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This bundle includes:
• Anne of Green Gables
• Anne of Avonlea
• Anne of the Island
• Anne's House of Dreams
• Rainbow Valley
• Rilla of Ingleside
• Chronicles of Avonlea
• Further Chronicles of Avonlea

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The Complete Works of Edgar Allan Poe (Illustrated Edition): The Raven, Tamerlane, Ulalume, Annabel Lee, The Fall of the House of Usher, The Tell-tale … Composition, The Poetic Principle, Eureka… Kindle Edition

by Edgar Allan Poe (Author), A. D. McCormick (Illustrator), & 7 more

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• 

  syousef on 14/07/2017 - 07:39

  +10

  I'm waiting for Edgar Allan Poe meets Lucy Maud Montgomery

  Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
  My wife watched a crappy romance movie
  While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
  As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
  “’Tis the movie,” I muttered, “Anne is tapping at my big screen TV—
  Only this and nothing more.”

  • 

    EmilyP on 14/07/2017 - 09:15

    +1

    gold - you have a talent don't ignore it

    • 

      syousef on 14/07/2017 - 09:43

      Thanks Emily. ;-)

  • 

    outlander on 14/07/2017 - 10:00

    +1 I was sure you ripped that off but nope all yours

    • 

      syousef on 15/07/2017 - 06:53

      Amazing what a lack of sleep due to change of shift can do ;-)

    • 

      syousef on 15/07/2017 - 07:48

      +3

      Here you go. I had a go at the whole poem.

      Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
      My wife watched a crappy romance movie—
      While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping
      As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door—
      "'Tis the movie," I muttered, "Anne is tapping at my big screen TV—
      Only this and nothing more."

      Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December;
      And each separate Hallmark movie wrought its ghost upon the floor.
      Eagerly I wished the morrow;—vainly I had sought to borrow
      From my books surcease of sorrow—sorrow for my lost brain cells—
      For the rare and radiant movie whom the angels name Terminator—
      Not Hallmark here for evermore.

      And the silken, sad, uncertain rustling of each purple fight scene
      Thrilled me—filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
      So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating,
      "'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my big screen TV—
      Anne of Green Gables entreating entrance in that movie;—
      This it is and nothing more."

      Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
      "Wife," said I, "or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
      But the fact is I was napping, and so this film is full of crapping,
      And so faintly Anne came tapping, crapping on the TV more,
      That I scarce was sure I heard you"—Shut up! Let me watch my movie;—
      Darkness there and nothing more.

      Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
      Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before;
      But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token,
      And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, "Much more?"
      This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, "Much more!"—
      Merely this and nothing more.

      Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
      Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
      "Surely," said I, "surely that is something happening;
      Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore—
      Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore;—
      'Tis blah blah and nothing more!"

      Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
      In there stepped a stately Anne of the Green Gables on the set floor;
      Not the least obeisance made she; not a minute stopped or stayed she;
      But, with mien of lord or lady, spoke more rubbish by that door—
      Perched upon a TV stand there just inside my chamber door—
      Talked rubbish, and nothing more.

      Then this silly girl beguiling my sad fancy into smiling
      By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance she wore,
      "Though thy crest be soft and flowing, thou," I said, "nodding I am surely doing,
      Silly girl and ancient movie wandering from the Netflix store—
      Tell me what this movie's tale is on the Night's Plutonian shore!"
      Quoth Anne, "Blah blah." more.

      Much I marvelled this ungainly girlto hear discourse so plainly,
      Though its answer little meaning—little relevancy bore;
      For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
      Ever yet was blest with seeing this movie on the big screen TV —
      Died of old age waiting for something to happen on that floor,
      Only watching "blah blah." more

      But Anne, sitting lonely on the Green Gables, spoke only
      gibberish words, as if her soul in that tirade did outpour.
      Nothing further I wished she'd utter—not a feather, not a flutter—
      Till I scarcely more than muttered "Watching 'Friends' was better before—
      On the morrow Anne will leave me, as my hopes have flown before."
      Then my wife said, "I'll watch this once more."

      Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
      "Doubtless," said I, "I can't watch this rubbish from the Netflix store,
      Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful Disaster
      Followed fast and followed faster till my pleas one burden bore—
      Till the dirges of his Hope that melancholy burden bore
      Oh okay 'Once more.'"

      But the wife still beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
      Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of my wife's bust and door;
      Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
      Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this silly movie of yore—
      What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt and crappy movie of yore
      Meant in croaking "We'll watch once more."

      This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
      To my wife whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;
      This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
      On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o'er,
      But whose velvet violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o'er
      Shall I watch with her once more?

      Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
      Swung by Seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.
      "Wretch," I cried, "thy God hath lent thee—by these angels he hath sent thee
      Respite—respite and nepenthe, from thy memories of Green Gables
      Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe and forget this movie lore!"
      Quoth the wife "I'll watch once more!"

      "Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil!—prophet still, if girl or devil!—
      Whether Tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
      Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted—
      On this home by Horror haunted—tell me truly, I implore—
      Is there—is there nothing else to watch?—tell me—tell me, I implore!"
      Quoth the wife "I'll watch once more!"

      "Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil—prophet still, if girl or devil!—
      By that Heaven that bends above us—by that God we both adore—
      Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
      It shall clasp a faint hope even of watching something else dejour—
      Clasp a rare and radiant maiden whom the angels made my wife."
      Quoth the wife "I'll watch once more!"

      "Be that word our sign in parting, wife or fiend!" I shrieked, upstarting—
      "I'll get thee back into the study and the play a game from Playstation store!
      I'll leave no to Anne of Green Gables that lie thy soul hath spoken!
      Leave my loneliness unbroken!—quit the loungeroom through the door!
      Take thy movie from my eyes, and take my leave by that door!"
      Quoth the wife "I'll watch once more!"

      And the wife, never remitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
      On the chair by that TV by my lounge room door;
      And her eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,
      And the TV-light o'er her streaming throws her shadow on the floor;
      And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
      I'll watch this—nevermore!

  • 

    Scab on 14/07/2017 - 10:08

    I hope you don't mind, but I'm getting this as a forearm script tattoo in cursive font?

    • 

      syousef on 15/07/2017 - 06:52

      lol

• 

  denpol85 on 14/07/2017 - 09:42

  Thank you!

• 

  belbo on 14/07/2017 - 09:58

  Thanks mate. Got both. I wonder why these free ones often have no reviews. Is it because they are new compilations and are also in the public domain? Does that mean there could be editing issues - or are these compilations usually taken from well-edited sources?

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  Nighteyes on 14/07/2017 - 10:03

  +2

  Such a kindred spirit OP! Thank you!