Best way to pay for things as a couple ? Joint accounts ect?

Sestrooper on 22/01/2017 - 15:59
Last edited 24/01/2017 - 18:00

**not married, young professionals who are taking the next step of our relationship and moving in together **

Just moved in with the missus! Just wanting to see how people in similar situations are managing funds. We're trying to work out how to pay for things roughly 50% each (like groceries, things for the house ect).

Now the simple option, which my partner is wanting to do is to just open a Joint account and pay everything with that eftpos card that we use. However I have always paid with my credit cards (amex and visa) to maximize points/savings, so naturally I dont want to miss out on this!

What I have thought of so far…

  1. For woolworths shopping: Buy bulk amount of woolworths giftcards through cash rewards with one of our amex cards to get points and save some $$, and divide this by 50% (simple bank transfer to pay for this)
    2 For non woolies stuff: Use my amex and have her as a supplementary holder to still get points and go through the statements (she doesn't have her own amex yet).
    3.For places that don't accept amex, use our own visa cards to pay for this and again keep a trace of the payments and divide by 50%. (unless there is another joint visa credit card to use?).

She has suggested using an app like splitwise to make it easier to work out payments which would be using our own cards and paying each other at the end of the month.

Any thoughts? Not sure there is any easier way to do this other than one person having to transfer the other to pay off an account if we dont just purely use a savings account.

Cheers!

Edit
- we are not at the point of putting our funds together into one account. This would be a couple years down the line. For now just wanting to roughly contribute equally to living expenses.
-both on similar incomes so no issues there.

Financial

Comments

  • BensonP on 22/01/2017 - 16:22
    +64

    Have been living with my girlfriend for 4 years.

    We have 3 offset accounts with our home loan.
    Mine. Hers. And ours.

    We transfer $1000 each a fortnight into the joint and pay for everything with that (Bills, food etc)

    That leaves out own accounts to spend on car parts and lingerie. (What can I say. Nothing like a nice pair of panties to make a man feel sexy.)

    • Sestrooper on 22/01/2017 - 16:24

      Is that just a joint savimgs account? e.g no points?

      Thanks for your input though! Greatly appreciated.

      • BensonP on 22/01/2017 - 16:38
        +4

        It's just a savings account.

        We have a credit card and American Express for points. The balance is paid off at the end of the month, from the joint account.

        • Sestrooper on 22/01/2017 - 16:53

          Is this a joint credit card?

        • BensonP on 22/01/2017 - 16:54
          +2

          @Sestrooper:

          Correct :)

          We have a card each

        • Sestrooper on 22/01/2017 - 17:01

          @BensonP:
          Is this like a supplementary card holder? I have an Amex with her on that. I'll need to look into a visa option

        • thejdproject on 25/02/2017 - 01:11

          @Sestrooper: I'm a bit late to the party but yes. No such thing as a 'joint' credit card perse, but one primary cardholder and then the supplementary cardholder. If bills don't get paid and bad credit etc. arises, then only the primary cardholder will be held responsible!

    • gummibear on 22/01/2017 - 17:17

      Who do you have your home loan with?
      I don't think nab have multiple offsets.

      • BensonP on 22/01/2017 - 17:47
        +1

        Commonwealth Bank.

        I believe ING Direct also offer multiple offsets

        • IMadeYouReadThis on 23/01/2017 - 13:30

          I believe ING Direct also offer multiple offsets

          I don't think they do.

        • BensonP on 23/01/2017 - 14:18
          +3

          @RockMeLoOn:

          My apologies, it's Suncorp! :)

        • IMadeYouReadThis on 23/01/2017 - 15:30
          +1

          @BensonP:

          all good :)

        • pennypincha on 24/01/2017 - 07:21

          St George also offer multiple offsets.

        • [Deactivated] on 24/01/2017 - 07:55

          @RockMeLoOn:

          They do if you have multiple loan splits. Otherwise no

    • [Deactivated] on 22/01/2017 - 18:19
      +6

      Married for 8 years - and we pretty much do the same - all our wages go into the offset and all our bills go on the linked credit card for points - then we have our individual debit cards for self purchases…

    • Donaldhump on 22/01/2017 - 22:04

      which bank is this, sounds good

      • [Deactivated] on 23/01/2017 - 06:54

        We currently use Westpac but only because our original home loan is there. As soon as we are under 80 per cent lva we're going elsewhere. Probably Teachers credit union or me bank

        • KevinFine on 24/01/2017 - 08:52
          +2

          Try Bank Australia - Previously Mecu (Customer owned and responsible banking) - Not associated but awesome rates and customer service. Also multiple offsets and no fee platinum Visa card with Qantas rewards linked to primary card.

        • roninxt on 26/01/2017 - 09:55
          +1

          @KevinFine: Went to the site and the platinum visa card has an annual fee of 189.

        • KevinFine on 28/01/2017 - 11:20

          @roninxt:
          If you have a premium home loan the fee is waived.

      • BensonP on 23/01/2017 - 18:52
        +1

        Commonwealth Bank and Suncorp offer multiple offsets.

    • ultrazonerc on 23/01/2017 - 08:38

      ^ - ^ this guy gets it! Gotta feel sexy!

    • adante on 23/01/2017 - 17:44
      +8

      they're called manties you philistine

      • BensonP on 23/01/2017 - 18:54
        +2

        Great…Now I have to explain why that's in my Google image search history :(

    • Empiresearth on 24/01/2017 - 15:27

      I never ask my partner any amount, if you dont trust your partner just close all account and move on, i do pay all bills and food and loan as well, what ever is mine is belongs to her and what ever belongs to her is mine.

      • BensonP on 24/01/2017 - 17:12

        Doesn't have anything to do with trust.

        It's all about equal shares of bills.

        Obviously you do it differently and that's up to you.

      • prinsenhof on 24/01/2017 - 17:13
        +3

        ewww, so you share panties?

        I prefer my own

    • ONEMariachi on 24/01/2017 - 23:11

      100% this is the right way to go. Everyone contributes equally and no one can say anything about what each other does with their own private money.

  • bluesky on 22/01/2017 - 16:38
    +3

    How about having a joint savings account, to hold joint funds. Use this account to BPAY off whatever credit cards (Amex, Visa) which either of you put the expenses on, if they are joint expenses. This way, there is no real need to keep track of expenses, other than the fact that the deposit into this account is 50/50 by you and the missus. And both of you can maximise any points potential with any credit card, as you see fit. This account can also have a debit card for each of you, so in the rare occasions you need to pay by cash any joint expenses, you withdraw the cash from ATM.

    E.g. A good account for such an arrangement is the joint ING Savings Maximiser, which provides high interest (3%), has no fees, and with debit cards for each of you. ATM withdrawals are also free, all that is needed is each of you contribute $500 into it each month (which can also be withdrawn out in same month if needed).

    Hope this helps.

    • Sestrooper on 22/01/2017 - 16:46

      Thanks for your response :)

      I have actually just opened up an ING every day account for her and myself and we will have a joint online savings account where rent ect is automatically debited. From what I gather though, the online account doesn't have debit card if we wanted to pay directly out of it. We would still need to transfer money from this account to our own everyday account when required (not a big deal).

      • bluesky on 22/01/2017 - 16:49
        +1

        I assumed you have opened both a joint ING Savings Maximiser, and a joint ING Everyday Transaction account, and have them linked. You can request Visa debit cards for the Everyday Transaction account for both of you.

        When you need to pay off your Amex/Visa cards, or any bills for that matter, you just transfer the funds from the Savings to the Everyday account, and BPAY it from there. Of course, you can also set up direct debit etc.

        • Sestrooper on 22/01/2017 - 16:52

          I will have to see if they can convert my current one (had it for a few years). Thanks for your input mate.

        • bluesky on 22/01/2017 - 16:55
          +1

          @Sestrooper: If your current one is an individual account, there is no need to convert. Just open a new joint Everyday account, so it can be linked to the joint ING savings account.

          Better still, transfer of funds from ING accounts are instantaneous, even between two separate customers.

          Edit: Sorry for any confusion with my first comment; when I refer to ING savings, in my mind, I was referring to the linked ING Everyday/Savings accounts as a pair.

  • altomic on 22/01/2017 - 16:39
    +26

    why did you move in together as a couple if you are sorting out how to pay for things 50/50?

    joint account. CC with 2 cards to maximise points.

    • Sestrooper on 22/01/2017 - 16:51

      We can easily pay 50%, its just working out if there are any smarter ways to do it :)

      It seems best way is joint account and perhaps having our own credit cards and just keeping a log of who has paid for what and divide.

      • sparkles on 22/01/2017 - 17:25
        +47

        A log to make sure each of you pay exactly 50%? Are you serious?

        • Car-la-la on 22/01/2017 - 17:57
          +41

          I give this relationship/new living arrangement 4 months maximum…

        • Sestrooper on 22/01/2017 - 18:17
          +3

          Lol not to that extreme at all. Sometimes one of us is on night shift so the other buys the groceries for the week ect. It's more so to make sure either of us isn't paying a heap more.

        • empty456 on 22/01/2017 - 19:58
          +3

          I kind of agree. Would be pretty sh!tty to find out I am the missus in this case, especially since she has already suggested a joint account.

          Best of luck to you two.

        • cannedhams on 23/01/2017 - 12:56
          +9

          I think its a millenial thing. Does make me chuckle though, are they still going to be keeping ledgers after they're married for twenty years or whatever.

        • ozbjunkie on 23/01/2017 - 14:56
          +2

          @cannedhams:

          Maybe - but it might be in the interest of mutual respect and a wish to ensure each has the money to spend on their own luxuries.

          Wouldn't want to deny your partner their discretionary spending…

        • empty456 on 23/01/2017 - 15:16
          +3

          @ozbjunkie:

          We have joint accounts for our salaries, out of which we take all our expenses including credit card payments, and savings/mortgage payments. Two cards for each account.

          Then we each get spending money that goes into our individual accounts and neither of us can touch anothers' account or even see the balance.

          I think it is not the arrangement I am questioning but the fact that OP seems insistent on keeping his money and just splitting everything 50/50. Plus the fact that OP's wife has already said she would prefer a joint account. I mean, why bother asking strangers on Ozbargain if your wife is right there beside you. I feel like he just wants some ammunition to bring to thhe table because he doesn't want the joint account. In my opinion they should have just lived together and not married. But maybe that is just me.

        • ozbjunkie on 23/01/2017 - 15:20
          +1

          @empty456:

          Married life seems hard - it's as if you have to do what your wife wants or else you should have never married at all.

          But that's just me, and perhaps part of the reason I'm unmarried.

        • elliebargain on 23/01/2017 - 15:44
          +5

          @ozbjunkie:

          You worded this so succinctly! I have many coupled up friends who have been together for many years and have shared bank accounts and it seems like even the happiest couples are constantly questioning each other's spending. A girlfriend of mine spent around $150 (of her own money) on a gorgeous leather handbag - She was drooling over it for about 6 months before it went on special and she pulled the trigger. Her partner happened to notice it at the shops when we were all walking around and had a bit of a go at her for spending over $100 without consulting him. He buys expensive tools all the time (to clarify - for a hobby - NOT a job). I know it's whatever works for them, but she works full-time and earns a professional salary on par with his so why shouldn't she buy a nice handbag?

          I would hate to have to justify and be questioned for every dollar I spend to my SO and I think he feels the same (although we don't have combined finances now, we will at some point in the future. Now when we ask each other about spending money on things, it's more for advice than a yes/no). Everyone's luxuries are different.

          Wouldn't want to be keeping a ledger after marriage though - With kids, the economy, accidents ect, you need to have each other's backs - from my non-existent experience :P

        • ozbjunkie on 23/01/2017 - 16:34
          +1

          @elliebargain:

          Sure, agreed, have each other's backs… and if one partner were to fall ill or become unemployed surely the other could pick up some slack. But this can happen with friends and family too, so no need for shared bank accounts.

          As per my final comment below, sometimes one partner will outspend the other.

          Possible overshare - My partner is constantly in debt. I'm a saver. Truth be told, I wouldn't get married because she is simply bad with money.

        • empty456 on 23/01/2017 - 17:12

          @ozbjunkie:

          I think you are making the right decision not to get married.

          If you do decide to get married and share finances, however, I don't see why having pooled money for expenses (and most of the money separate) wouldn't work. No need to compute 50/50 and put in just the 50% imho.

          But definitely don't get married until finances are sorted out at least by talking. It's hard enough to be in a relationship without the added burden of finances. Besides if you're married she may get a share of your money anyway (and you may get a share of her debt).

        • idonotknowwhy on 23/01/2017 - 17:42
          +2

          @empty456: Agreed. My wife and I have been living together happily for 5 years. We have a budged for living expenses, and each put 50% of this into a joint account to pay for these.
          Everything leftover is kept separately, so I'm free to make impulse purchases from ozbargain, and she can buy whatever she likes, without us resenting each other.
          This also works nicely for romantic/birthday surprises :)

          When one of us is between jobs, the other puts the entire living expenses cost into the account.
          My grandparents lived together happily for 65 years doing this.

        • LittleKatie on 23/01/2017 - 19:01

          @cannedhams: More an asian thing?

        • [Deactivated] on 24/01/2017 - 15:16
          +2

          @LittleKatie: We put all the money in one bucket, and spend what we need, save what we can. At times she can't work as much as she used to, and I probably pays more of the bills, but that is what marriage means. To share life together.

          I'm not sure what you want to achieve from 50/50 finances. There are other things to keep track then, like who did the dirty jobs more often like the dishes/cooking/household duties.
          Then we kids comes along, who is paying and taking care of the kids and sacrificing their job? Usually the woman, because well they do the pushing, and man only hold hands.

          May I suggest an alternative:
          Put your money in one bucket, plan how much you will spend a year (there are so many free budget planner for that). The remaining savings from both of your income is split into two, you can transfer that in the beginning of the year, or at each month.
          Each one of you is free to buy whatever they want to do with their half (as long as it's a bargain…).
          Plan a bit for contigency like accident, major illness, etc.
          Also save money for the future, education, vacation, house, car.

        • outlander on 24/01/2017 - 20:32
          +2

          @elliebargain:

          Tools? I'm sorry, I understand your point and all, but tools? That's the equivalent of saying to a woman "But you buy stuff for yourself all the time. What about those cooking pots you bought yourself? and the stake knives, and cutlery, and those fancy kitchen appliances you keep buying. You're living the high life darling, why can't you be content?" lol

        • elliebargain on 25/01/2017 - 09:20
          +1

          @outlander: Is your point that they will both get use from the tools? Because he has them for fun and she doesn't touch them. Don't get me wrong though, I think he should buy all the good quality tools he wants (and I think it's important to know how to use them- definitely see the value in it) and she should buy a bag for work, it just didn't sit well with me him shaming her for spending her own money.

          My SO spends on tools and equipment partly for his business and partly for funsies and its great! He surprises me with stuff he's made sometimes. He would never tell me off or shame me for buying a bag for work, just like I would never tell him off for finally pulling the trigger on a wool-blend winter coat, or whatever else he wants to buy :)

          I guess the common theme with all of the comments including yours is make sure you end up with someone who is on roughly the same money wavelength. has the same values, and who both have mutual respect for each other.

        • outlander on 25/01/2017 - 12:11
          +1

          @elliebargain:

          Just a joke. Had you said video games, computer parts, unicorn emblazoned socks.. I wouldn't have said anything. Just found it amusing that you were reaching for an example of male personal spending and you're first instinct was 'tools'! Which, I think, would be a common response amongst woman in similar situations. In a general sense, a tool is something you buy to make the lives of everyone around you better. The idea would be he buys some kind of tool, and then uses it for your friend. He might use it to fix her car, make a pizza oven, make a bag stand for her collection of $150 bags.. :P

          But if he's collecting tools just to have and display them, in the same way people collect beeny babies, I find that most strange.
          Most strange indeed.

          The shame thing is an entirely separate issue. I think thats just a d*ck move

        • elliebargain on 25/01/2017 - 12:31
          +1

          @outlander: Haha! I was definitely grasping at straws with the tools thing, because he is probably one of the most frugal people I know, and would never spend money on video games, computer parts, clothes or really tech of any kind (he uses a Nokia phone that doesn't have internet and I'm pretty sure it still has snake on it!). He has saved so much money that he can probably put 50% down on a cheap house in the outer suburbs somewhere near a forest or something :P And they still ahve managed to go on a few holidays so it's not like they live completely like paupers… So yeah, thinking about it now it probably explains why he is so flummoxed when his girlfriend drops what seems to him seems like an insane amount of money on a bag (but to most people seems reasonable). He also has zero interest in sites like OZB tempting people to spend money or get credit cards.

          You're right about the tools too - he definitely uses them, not just for displaying. He makes some cool stuff :)

      • johndemonik on 24/01/2017 - 20:34

        Currently on holiday with gf, we split things 66.66℅ / 33.33% as I have twice as much savings as her, and we don't have a share account. Can be tiresome I suppose, but we're not married and don't live together. It's pretty unfair to go 50/50 when I might have more expensive taste due to having more disposable income.

  • rambutann on 22/01/2017 - 17:17
    +2

    Man I've just always asked my girlfriend to send me money.. Multiple credit card one account idea is a great idea..

  • onetwothreefour on 22/01/2017 - 17:24
    +89

    I give my wife 100% of my money, she gives me 10% back if I deserve it.

    • [Deactivated] on 22/01/2017 - 17:34
      +1

      same

      • StewBalls on 22/01/2017 - 22:01
        +20

        You chuckleheads are both being overpaid… :P

    • IMadeYouReadThis on 23/01/2017 - 13:34
      +1

      she gives me 10% back if I deserve it

      That's generous of her! I get 5-7% back. In a month when I don't do cleaning and dishes etc, she will reduce it by 50%. Damn!

    • Calmago on 23/01/2017 - 13:54
      +7

      10%!, Living the dream there mate.

    • decr on 23/01/2017 - 14:12

      And then nags at you for spending it all on OzB deals I presume.

    • cameldownunder on 23/01/2017 - 16:18

      I pay off my CC. The rest, less $300 goes to her. She pays the bills.

    • rodinthink on 23/01/2017 - 21:13
      +2

      So much realism

    • boozler on 24/01/2017 - 09:40

      Ditto.

    • Souljarh on 24/01/2017 - 22:41

      Happy wife, happy life.

  • [Deactivated] on 22/01/2017 - 17:32
    +28

    My partner gets all my money.

    Can someone buy me some new trainers? Too scared to ask my lady.

    I keep a tab on the accounts in case she tries to pull a shifty one and give away my moneys. IF she was to leave me, I would have nothing. It's a stupid arrangement, but I plan to knock her up soon. Probably when she's drunk

    • BuyoTheCat on 23/01/2017 - 10:46
      +9

      Once she gets knocked up, she gets 200% of what you have.

    • cameldownunder on 23/01/2017 - 16:22
      +1

      I do that when I'm drunk.

      • BensonP on 23/01/2017 - 18:57
        +5

        You get fredz' partner pregnant while drunk?

        Not cool, man.

        • cameldownunder on 24/01/2017 - 15:39
          +1

          ups ops, yeah sorry, as in my woman, not his. Ohh boy. No offence.

    • [Deactivated] on 23/01/2017 - 21:05
      +3

      It's a stupid arrangement, but I plan to knock her up soon.

      I don't think that's as much of a good deal as you may think….

  • jellykingdom on 22/01/2017 - 21:54

    Jeez thats quite a complicated setup

    My girlfriend (now wife) and I got to about 1year and decided that since we were earning similar salaries that we would just work on a My Turn To Pay -> Your Turn to Pay sort of system. Then when she moved in, we transferred all her money into my offset. Obviously it was pretty trusting of her, but it was pretty good for our future because we were able to literally pay off my apartment.

    However…we still keep separate bank accounts (more simplicity than anything) and transfer into a joint Home Loan Offset regularly. Shared credit cards, which are managed by me mostly.

    Don't miss out on those points!!!

  • Donaldhump on 22/01/2017 - 22:06
    +3

    keep separate accounts and just pay approx 50/50 no point being exact…will drive u mental

    Id be watching things like pots pans, cds etc… my misses put our combined pots and pans into a pile, decided what she liked, then put the rest in a box, with my name on it, for when she kicks me out.

  • ZippyRoo on 22/01/2017 - 22:34
    +13

    I will give you a female's perspective and tell you how the finances work in my family. We have all our earnings go into a joint savings account, we don't keep any other individual savings accounts (unless hubby has one I don't know about but I'm pretty confident to say that I know him well enough to know he doesn't have one). I keep a few hundred in there at all times, the rest is transferred into the homeloan offset. Hubby has an additional cardholder amex card I've given him but he doesn't use it much. He uses the efpos on the savings account for lunches, cash withdrawals and any small things he wants to buy. I have a woolworths credit card which we use to buy everything else and pay bills to earn points. I then use the money in the homeloan offset to pay off the credit card at the end of each month.

    Sometimes I do feel bad that hubby doesn't have his own private account or credit card to surprise me, but he always finds little unexpected things so there was never a need to keep separate accounts. When we first got married, hubby was the one who suggested joining our finances but I was initially against it. I guess I was scared of losing control of something I took for granted all the years before, but he understood me before I even said anything and trusted me to manage the accounts. Yes, he does tell me everything he wants to buy and we make the decisions together, but I also tell him and ask for his opinions too whenever I'm after something. I've learnt over the years that if my hubby says something is useless or fugly, then it probably is.

    I know every household works differently and we know plenty of couples who do 50/50 on everything, but I can't imagine myself in their shoes. My hubby smokes and I don't, can you imagine him saying "Let's go 50/50 on that packet of cigarettes"? I'm sure we would've worked something else out by now if we didn't have the joint account, but I guess I would've grown tired of all the discussions about money and doing 50/50 or 60/40 because our earnings are different, and so on.

    At the end of the day, I believe the biggest lesson and the most important thing is to understand each other. If you make the effort to understand, be compassionate and are ready to compromise, then no matter how you do your finances, you'll know that it'll always work out. Otherwise it'll always be a constant battle of "making it fair". Have you seen the movie The Joy Luck Club? There was a scene in there about a couple splitting the grocery bill. It doesn't just happen to Asian families, it's more a lesson in general about relationships.

    • lupiter on 22/01/2017 - 22:52
      +1

      Yep, this is pretty close to what I do (although we share managing things also). Given that we don't earn 50/50 (more like 33/66) and we don't share housework 50/50, it makes it easier to have just a joint account.

      We also have an agreed on "free spend" (aka pin money) budget each month. For things like games, music streaming subscriptions, art supplies, makeup, ozbargain "finds".

    • cameldownunder on 23/01/2017 - 16:21

      What is you "Joint decision" level? From what amount does he consult you or you him?
      For example I don't ask my wife if I can buy a new lure ( $15 ), on a fishing combo or bunnings tool ( $100 ) probably not, on anything above, YES.

      • ZippyRoo on 23/01/2017 - 16:38

        We don't really have limits. I don't think it's fair for him to ask for permission to buy things for his hobbies, or work tools for that matter. Though we usually end up buying things on the weekends anyway when I'm there so we just use the credit card. We only discuss when it's splurge items such as a new wallet, new shoes, new bags, new phone etc.

        • cameldownunder on 23/01/2017 - 18:59
          +1

          New shoes, spluge? $5,$10,$12 bigW. New Wallet? $11 ebay. New Bag: Fathers day present. Before LCD Projector Bag.
          New Phone yes, discussion after 2 years of Xiaomi mi3. Had to brake it before I could get a new phone.

    • su27dvr on 23/01/2017 - 17:42
      +2

      jerrizhao - Excellent post, and I agree it takes trust, understanding and tolerance to make the relationship work in the long term. Maybe I am biased because our financial arrangements are very similar to yours and has been working well for us for many years. In the early stages of a relationship it takes a leap of faith to join finances, but after a while it becomes the natural thing to do. Guess you have to have similar goals and spending habits as your partner, but if not you should not be together anyway.

    • vbrain on 24/01/2017 - 09:12

      Every month wife teansfers salary to my acc. Then this becomes "our" money. We both make purchases using credit cards and pay our debts from this acc. To keep a check on unnecessary spending we sometimes debate and make a collective decision.

    • lainey13 on 24/01/2017 - 11:55

      Aren't you essentially paying a share for those cigs tho if he's not paying for them out of an account that is purely funded by his earnings?
      Also from this method you'll be paying a share for any medical expenses occurred from the consumption of those cigarettes.

      • ZippyRoo on 24/01/2017 - 12:03

        Yes, true, I thought about that after the post but since all our money is pooled together, we can also say that he is paying for the cigs 100% with his money. He is trying to quit although it's a pretty long, painful and repetitive process. I think I need to show some tough love and drop some ultimatums or something, maybe that can be a new ozb forum topic. :)

        Hopefully he quits before we get to the associated medical expenses part.

        • lainey13 on 24/01/2017 - 12:20
          +1

          Good luck, I really hope he can quit and make it stick :)

  • bobbified on 22/01/2017 - 23:16
    +29

    Just my opinion - when you make the decision to move in as a couple, I think the whole idea of splitting everything in half shouldn't even come into it anymore.

    There's a reason why husbands and wives are known as "dependants".

    What happens when one of you loses your job or doesn't have an income for a while? Does that person then "owe" the other for all the months/years that they didn't contribute to the joint account? Or should that person just starve for a while?

    It irks me to hear how some couples do the 50/50 thing - because it would mean that they're no different to a regular housemates, except that they're sleeping in the same bed.

    • onetwothreefour on 23/01/2017 - 10:26
      +12

      I'm doing the 50/50 thing with my wife, I can't wait to tell her on my 40th birthday that I am retiring and it's her turn to earn some money.

      • decr on 23/01/2017 - 14:19

        Haha my thoughts exactly.

        Edit: except it was 100/0 on me for a good 9 years.

    • Camembert on 23/01/2017 - 18:34
      +2

      My partner and I share bills 50/50 and keep the rest of our money separate and that works well for us. I personally don't feel that level of independence is a bad thing, though things will likely change when we have children. Despite this, we help each other out when the other needs money and buy each other gifts, pay for meals for each other etc.

      The 50/50 thing is how some relationships work and I certainly don't feel this makes us the same as regular housemates. Money and how it is managed is only one part of a relationship, there's plenty more that makes us genuine partners! :)

    • derk on 24/01/2017 - 10:48
      +1

      100% agree - once you are committed, whats the difference? No point having my money/your money, just a stress in life that is not needed. My wife and I have shared CC's and share saving accounts and shared home loan (offset).

  • jagboy on 23/01/2017 - 07:54
    +33

    Unfortunately I see nothing but distrust in your relationship. What about marriage vows - for richer for poorer? I have been happily married now for 35 years. We always had a joint bank account - when the wife wasn't working in order to raise the kids that is just the way it is. Is your partner going to be able to 'live up to paying 50% of everything if a baby or two comes along'? There is an old adage - what's yours is mine and whats mine is yours. Forget this nonsense, live sensibly and within your means and be happy. If you follow your proposed path, happiness and trust in each other will not be achieved.

    • poppit88 on 25/01/2017 - 01:18
      +1

      Jagboy - you are extremely fortunate. Thank your lucky stars you've managed to have a fulfilling relationship with another person for 30+ years in relative harmony. Bear in mind that many of us have either been in relationships where one person has no moral compass and we've literally been taken to the cleaners and have been brought to our knees or we've seen friends we care for left in a similar state of affairs.

      And frankly, as women we want equality - but we still expect the 'man of the house' to pay our way. It comes with a price, we don't get to choose when it's convenient to beat our chests and espouse our right to equality then turn the other cheek and expect that our partner, husband cough up their own hard earned salary to 'support us.'

      We can't have it both ways!

  • JenPat on 23/01/2017 - 08:14
    +1

    I think what you do really depends on your personal circumstances BUT it is most important that you sit down and discuss everything to make sure you are both happy with the situation.
    A lot of the posts are saying just pool all your money together while this is great for some couples it will not work for everyone.
    For example my husband and I were in our 30's when we moved in together. We had assets from our previous lives, we had very different salaries and I had been widowed. We agreed to have a joint account to pay for groceries, bills, childcare etc. We also have our own accounts and are responsible for our own rental properties and I pay the home loan (home is in my name only).
    This works for us and was even fine when took 10 months off on maternity leave.

    • bobbified on 23/01/2017 - 08:40

      I guess my question is, why was there a need to keep your "past" (including assets) separate to the present relationship?

      Don't get me wrong, I'm not criticising or judging you (because there's no right or wrong answer) - I'm just curious to try to understand the logic/reasons.

      • JenPat on 23/01/2017 - 10:27

        My husband wanted to keep his unit, I wanted to keep my rental property, we lived in a house I owned and we wanted to keep our assets from prior to our relationship separate. My point is that there is no one size fits all scenario. Having a previous partner pass away (at a very young age) probably also had some impact on my decisions but it works for us.

        • bobbified on 23/01/2017 - 10:47

          Thanks for sharing your situation to help me understand :)

        • poppit88 on 25/01/2017 - 01:07

          Jenpat - Agree totally. Keeping it all separate saves so much angst down the track. Frankly, anyone suddenly insisting that properties should 'suddenly' be in joint names and finances 100% pooled, is someone to be wary of!

      • poppit88 on 25/01/2017 - 01:06

        Why is there a need to keep your 'past' (including assets) separate in the present relationship? Exactly that. Because they are your assets from a previous relationship. In the event that everything goes pear shaped, it's so much easier to 'disentangle' yourself. I don't really go with the saying, "What's mine is mine, what's yours is mine as well."

        The same goes for joint bank accounts. A joint account for food, utilities, rent/mortgage etc., no problems. The rest of your disposable income is yours to do with as you wish.

        The thing is bobbifed, some of us are savers, and others spenders. I'll be dammed if I'd put my entire salary into a joint account ever again! Ever! Only to have someone leave me in constant penury because they just can't help spending.

  • Seraphin7 on 23/01/2017 - 09:21
    +7

    Red hot tip mate … this is not the scenario to trying to maximise credit card points under. The cost of the grief administration will fast outstrip your savings.

    • robertbruce on 23/01/2017 - 11:35

      yep, gta' agree with Sera. Make it easy on yourself, just give her all the monies now, lets face it, if she doesn't have an amex she is prolly a better budgeter

  • Euphemistic on 23/01/2017 - 09:41

    We have a joint account with CC (one each, same account) paid off in full from that account on time. Joint account is also an offset account. My wages go into the joint account. We do most of our spending on credit card, or draw cash from the joint account.

    My wife's wages go into a separate bank and our 'rainy day' account with a reasonable interest rate. When it builds up above a certain amount, we transfer some to the joint account. When we have a big purchase (holiday, car, furniture etc) we transfer from her account to the joint account.

    I did consider getting each of us separate 'spending' accounts, but it wasn't worth the hassle. We always have cash available for purchases so don't really need to track it, we don't live week to week. We both know that if the account is under our preferred limit then there is no extra spending (means we save for luxuries). We are also both fairly tight when it comes to money, although I do tend to spend a bit more than her on non essentials.

    If you are both sensible with money, make it as easy as possible. Put all your funds into 'general revenue' and go from there.

  • elliebargain on 23/01/2017 - 10:18
    +5

    Whoa, they're just moving in together, not getting married! Why the big rush to combine finances?

    When I moved in with my boyfriend, he already had a housemate, and was in charge of the rent and bills, so we used the costsplit app (like $2 for the premium version) to add in any groceries, dinners out as a house, etc, and at the end of each month, the housemate and I would transfer whatever we owed.

    Now that our housemate has moved out we still use costsplit- it's a great budgeting app and I like being able to see where our money is going (as well as being able to see my SO has just bought "Taco dinner stuff" from Coles when I'm driving home after soccer training. We thought about opening a joint account and definitely trust each other enough for that, but we like to use credit cards to maximize points, and unless we had a credit card specifically for only shared expenses, it might get tricky. So costsplit works best for us now but we are always willing to rethink that. I will say that we both earn about the same amount now (he used to earn more than me, but has since quit to start his own business so earns a bit less now). I sometimes think about what would happen if one of us were to stop working- we've both said at different points we would support the other and cover rent and food etc, but I mean, everyone wants autonomy and you wouldn't want to have to ask your spouse every time you want to spend a small amount of money, even if you are quite minimalist. Married couples with completely separate finances sort of set off alarm bells for me. I remember reading about this new mother who had seperate accounts with her husband being completely broke because she had gone down to part -time for the last month of her pregnancy and spent all her own money on baby equipment like the cot, pram, clothes, nappies, and then later on the childcare fees ect… it sounded unbelievable and I guess I only heard her side- she said other than that they were in a happy marriage. Jeez!

    We both have supplementary AMEX cards in each other's name- we just add the person's spend to costsplit, although we mainly just got them for the points.

    Figure out a way that you are both happy with and don't worry about the naysayers. As long as you are both respectful and understanding you'll be fine :D

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