'Friend' Wanted to Learn Manual in My Car. He Smashed It and Now Ignores Me. What Can I Do?

TheOneWhoKnocks on 13/01/2016 - 18:49
Last edited 24/01/2016 - 21:46

G'Day OzBargainers,

Sometimes we make stupid mistakes and one mistake I made a few months ago was letting my 'mate' attempt to learn manual in my car at his place. Now I was hesitant at first but after he asked a few more times I thought I would let him have a go (stupidly) since I thought he was my best mate and he had been wanting to learn manual for a long time. He was reversing in his front yard (fairly large property) when he hit a pole. We both got out to assess the damage and he had bent the exhaust and also dinted the bumper. Now, I didn't grab his insurance details (stupidly) because he said he would pay for the damage himself, so he gave me $200 as an initial payment that day until I got a quote from the smash repairers.

A month later I got a quote from the smash repairer which came back as around $1,125. Since he had given me $200 earlier he is now in debt of $925. I immediately contacted him and I could sense he was a doubtful, saying that he wasn't going to pay until he stated he wanted another quote and then he would pay. So then I went out and got another quote from a different mob and it came back as the exact same amount. I contacted him again and he said he would give me $200 the following day. The next day he did not send money as he promised and from then on he would not answer my phone calls, text messages or FB.

7 years of friendship and it comes down to this. He has truly f**ked me over and it has caused me alot of stress. I'm really struggling to find what to do next which is why I require the assistant of this great community. If anyone could assist me in this dreadful, shitty situation it would be much appreciated.

Thank you in advance,
TheOneWhoKnocks.

P.S.

  • I do have messages proving that he did smash my car
  • I have comprehensive insurance and am under 25 and therefore fall under the young driver's excess
  • I know it's just money but at least he could be honest and contact me. Not once did he bother contactung me about it and I had to do all the reaching out. Then he decides to ignore me which is pretty much the icing on the cake. It may seem like a trivial issue to some of you, but it has been bugging me for the past 4 months and all I want is for it to be resolved so I can move on with my life (yes it is bothering me that much).
  • I have considered bikies

UPDATE 1
UPDATE 2

Automotive

Comments

        • TheOneWhoKnocks on 16/01/2016 - 20:44
          +1

          Oops wrong word. *He was never really intelligent. I thought all these years he was a true friend, but as others have stated, his true colours are now exposed.

  • [Deactivated] on 16/01/2016 - 22:35

    small claims court. see you there

  • justaperson on 16/01/2016 - 23:28
    +1

    Probably a bit of a long shot, but if he has his own car and you know the VIN (or rego number to find VIN on RTA website), you can register a PPSR security interest on his vehicle which basically makes it a lot harder to trade-in or sell the vehicle as it appears encumbered when a dealer or private buyer goes to look up the title. This along with a letter I think would do wonders. I guess if you're feeling evil you could register the security interest on one of his parents cars.

  • BestofOZB on 17/01/2016 - 00:11

    Fix your car, lose a friend, move on.

  • MITM on 17/01/2016 - 02:05
    -4

    Get yourself in front of a bus & hit the brakes. Job done.

  • Durian Pancake on 17/01/2016 - 02:14
    +2

    Chase the scumbag to the ends of the Earth!

    As people mentioned, a letter of demand is the way to go.

    I once used my local community legal centre to write one for me. Requesting a response/payment and explaining the next step would be the small claims tribunal which may end up more costly for them.

    It takes them no time to write one up. It looks more professional, stern and serious with the letter head but is also a free service. So I suggest you google to see if theres any around your area.

    It probably feels more stressful than it should be but it'll feel even better when its all sorted as opposed to letting it go and forgetting it over time.

    • TheOneWhoKnocks on 17/01/2016 - 07:41

      Hey mate. This may be a bot far fetched but would you have a copy of it saved anywhere? I'm still researching on the correct way to write one up.

      • Durian Pancake on 17/01/2016 - 21:06

        Sorry dude. it was light years ago when I got mine done. You can google letter of demand templates for examples.

  • Diji1 on 17/01/2016 - 08:23

    I'd use the bikies.

  • Lucky13 on 17/01/2016 - 09:21

    So when u got a second quote where did u go? If u go to small crash repairers that arent on main roads and are in back streets etc in ur area ud get reasonable prices with them. Maybe give that a try and see how that goes

  • peterpeterpumpkin on 17/01/2016 - 10:19
    +1

    Whenever I read these posts I wonder if the referenced party is an OzBargainer too. You'd want to add some false extraneous information to avoid drawing suspicion (e.g. my friend who has a bionic arm and always wears a monocle borrowed my 1993 Toyota Corolla and…etc).

  • saine on 17/01/2016 - 11:02

    Some people run and hide from issues and conflict. It may not be that he is unwilling to pay anything, but that he hasn't the courage to talk it through and negotiate. See it a lot as a teacher - the kind of person who avoids, avoids and avoids until it gets too difficult for the other party, who just gives up. There's always an excuse and something that is fixable keeps on getting bigger and worse. Then they avoid some more. They're not necessarily bad people and they usually feel very guilty… Prompting them to avoid more. It's a cycle. Chances are they have been avoiding even reading your reasonable messages.

    People like that can really only be dealt with in person. If you can't, because of distance, is there a mutual friend who is reasonable? Or a family member of theirs who can talk them through it? Not someone to take sides, but to just make sure that the messages of: this can be fixed, with reasonable payments over time, and that avoiding will not work.

    Or bikies.

  • Slippery Fish on 17/01/2016 - 11:04

    No one seems to see the otherside, yes he was driving the car.

    1. Under your supervision
    2. Illigaly as he either did not have a lisence or you are likely to young to teach him

    He should pay for the repairs, he is scum not to, but he also has a counter that you allowed unlisenced to drive it.

    I would either take the $400 he paid Nd run or ask his parents to be reasonable and try recover a total of half the repair costs… Your both at fault.

    • tomorrows_angel on 19/01/2016 - 11:43
      +1

      This isn't true… OP said he was on a P2 licence? As soon as you pass from P1 to P2 you can drive manual even if you only did your test in an auto, at least it NSW. From the NSW Road safety website:

      Automatic vehicles
      P1 licence holders who passed their driving test in an automatic vehicle (including vehicles with an automatic clutch actuator) will be restricted to driving automatics. This condition remains until you are issued with a provisional P2 or unrestricted licence. To remove the condition earlier, you must pass a driving test in a manual vehicle.

      • Slippery Fish on 19/01/2016 - 16:39

        Im from qld, sorry for the mistake. Up here you can only drive auto if you got auto and I belive you must resit the driving exam to get manual.

        Thankyou for the new information.

        • tomorrows_angel on 19/01/2016 - 16:55

          Oh wow - so even if you've had a full auto licence for years you have to pass another test to drive manual?

        • Slippery Fish on 19/01/2016 - 23:34

          @tomorrows_angel: yep, its stupid. I have manual though so its ok lol

  • UFO on 17/01/2016 - 12:46
    +1

    Small Claims Court (could be called different in your State, but look it up).

    If he doesnt reply to messages or letters, he'll have to reply to a Court Summons.

    For the sake of $50-100 Court costs, with the evidence you have you'll win.
    No lawyers, no delays… gets sorted out in one day.

    He won't be your friend anymore, but he's not really your friend now is he.

    • TheOneWhoKnocks on 17/01/2016 - 13:25

      Hey mate. If it does result in legal action can I demand the legal fees + the debt? Yep, don't want anything to do with him after this settles.

      • UFO on 17/01/2016 - 20:53
        +1

        Nup… small claims court decision is final. They try and encourage negotiation before the Magistrate makes an order, but once the order is made, its final.

        As there are no legal fees, you cant claim anything.

        I had to do it a few years ago when everything else failed.
        It's actually a pretty smooth process. Pop down to your local tribunal/small claims court and watch a session.

        It's similar to Judge Judy… no mess no fuss Magistrate wont take any crap (even from the 'good' person).
        Before you stand in court they give you a chance to sit in a room with a mediator.
        If you can come to an agreement, the Magistrate can make that agreement binding and that's it.
        But if you still cant agree, Magistrate will decide.

        I did it for $400… but it was the principle of it. For $1000 like in your case, DO IT!!!

  • QuickToThePointless on 17/01/2016 - 13:12

    Hope you fond the answer youre looking for…

    On an unrelated topic, why did you change your avatar to brokeback mountain?

    • TheOneWhoKnocks on 17/01/2016 - 13:24

      Never watched that movie so wouldn't know what the characters are.

      • QuickToThePointless on 17/01/2016 - 15:33
        +1

        Yeh but i bet you heard what its about - it gives your user name a whole different meaning!

      • BestofOZB on 17/01/2016 - 15:35
        +1

        You better do before using it! Just saying! :)

  • junior_thrift on 17/01/2016 - 13:40
    +1

    Real cases, real people. Judge Judy.

  • thierry on 17/01/2016 - 14:33
    +2

    I've been in a situation when someone who I considered close didn't pay the rent.. Bad idea to rent to friends.. Basically I think you have to accept the money is lost. Just let your friend know that you are sad because of the broken trust. Forgive him and get on with yr life. You'll get the money through some other good fortune. He might even agree to pay you back later..

  • Randxyz123 on 18/01/2016 - 10:48

    You have comprehensive insurance so give them his details and let them do the work. They'll take him to court if necessary. Before you do that send him a letter saying that you will talk to your insurance and commence legal action if he doesn't reply by x date.

    You say he's been hanging out with the wrong crowd and taking drugs that probably means he doesn't have 2K to hand out.

    • TheOneWhoKnocks on 18/01/2016 - 11:14

      Hey mate. The bloke on the phone from my insurance company stated that they could only request for the money owed and if he did not oblige I could be made to pay. I'm not willing to take that gamble considering what he has done.

  • shaybisc on 18/01/2016 - 11:01
    +1

    Keep smiling, keep shining
    Knowing you can always count on me, for sure
    That's what friends are for
    For good times and bad times
    I'll be on your side forever more
    That's what friends are for

    • TheOneWhoKnocks on 18/01/2016 - 11:09
      +6

      I'll send him an extract of that song along with the letter of demand.

  • [Deactivated] on 18/01/2016 - 13:33

    Well at least he showed his true colours and stopped wasting your time.

  • onlyletters on 18/01/2016 - 20:06
    -2

    So you waited 1 month before you got a quote, sounds like you care about your car.

    • TheOneWhoKnocks on 18/01/2016 - 20:10

      I was in the process in moving, it was a pretty busy period. I don't understand why you think that.

      • onlyletters on 18/01/2016 - 20:10
        -3

        Its 1 month later, usually people will go at their next available time as a quote doesn't take long.

        • TheOneWhoKnocks on 18/01/2016 - 20:15
          +3

          I wanted to wait till I settled in the new place + I had a lot of errands to do. I really don't need to justify myself here.

        • [Deactivated] on 22/01/2016 - 19:49
          -1

          @TheOneWhoKnocks:

          No you don't need to justify yourself on here. Just get over it!

          You made a mistake and you now have a smashed car. Your stupidity… Your fault… Didn't your mother/father ever teach you to man up and accept responsibility for you actions. No lent car = No smash car! Simples! :)

        • TheOneWhoKnocks on 22/01/2016 - 20:23
          -1

          @Mr Rort: Calm down champ. What's done is done. Stop your yapping.

  • TheOneWhoKnocks on 24/01/2016 - 21:45
    +3

    UPDATE:

    I was able to negotiate with the smash repairers who supplied the second quote to a new amount of $950.

    After sending a letter of demand on Wednesday I have just received a text message from his mother stating that she will pay the outstanding debt. I have decided to reduce the debt to $650 in good faith because it seems like his mother may be footing the bill. She will pay the amount in increments over the span of 5 weeks. The letter of demand sure turned out to be effective. It's disappointing he had to resort to letting his mum deal with his problems. I'm very glad there was a 'peaceful' solution to this scenario and I have surely learnt my lesson.

    I'd like to thank everyone again for their valued advice, I have learnt a lot. Now I just need to find more deals to give back to this outstanding community.

    Cheers,
    TheOneWhoKnocks.

  • robb6014 on 25/01/2016 - 20:41

    Sad losing your best friend over such a piddling amount of money. I've had a friend smash one of my vehicles similar cost and I wouldnt have even dreamed of asking him for the money although he did offer. Not saying you've done anything wrong but as you get older you tend to put these things in perspective a bit more - a dented exhaust cmon who cares friends are more important than that.

    • TheOneWhoKnocks on 25/01/2016 - 21:22

      We were doing fine till he started ignoring me. If he really, really had trouble paying, he had the chance to contact me but no he just ignored me.

  • fantafox on 26/01/2016 - 00:52

    Hope his mother has enough money left over to buy the (profanity) some driving lessons…

  • Gagosta on 21/03/2017 - 13:56

    Sh*t bloke. LOD, keep it simple. Next time dont lend anyone your car!

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