This thread was inspired by lemc6125's
If you could have one wish come true , what would it be?
The Genie Will See You Now...
[Deactivated] on 20/03/2015 - 23:41
Poll Options
- 70To have more money that I could ever spend.
- 20To live forever.
- 30To love and be loved.
- 38other
Comments
Granted
A cautionary tale about having three wishes:
Man walks into a bar and pauses: at the other end of the bar, there's this guy with a huge orange head. Just kind of sitting there, mooning into his drink. So the man asks the bartender, "Say, what's up with the guy with the big orange head?" And the bartender says, "It's an interesting story. Buy him a drink and maybe he'll tell it to you."
So the man walks over and introduces himself and offers to buy a round. The guy says, "Yeah, I'll bet you want to know the story, huh?" To which the man replies, "Sure, if you don't mind."
He sighs and says, "You know, I've gone over it in my mind a million times. Basically, it's like this: I was walking along the beach one day, when I stubbed my toe on something. I looked down, and there was an antique brass lamp. I picked it up and dusted it off a little — when all of a sudden this genie pops out!
"The genie thundered, 'You have released me from my ten-thousand year imprisonment, and I am in your debt. I will grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude.'
The man at the bar is agape. The guy with the huge orange head continues his story: "So I said, 'Wow, okay. Well, my first wish is to be fantastically wealthy.'
"The genie says, 'Your wish is granted.' And all of a sudden I have rings on my fingers and a crown on my head, and my wallet is full of money and a dozen ATM cards and the deed to a mansion in the hills — I mean, I was loaded!
"So I said, 'Amazing! Okay, for my next wish , I want to be loved passionately by the most beautiful woman in the world.'
"The genie says, 'Your wish is granted.' And the ocean parts, and out walks this gorgeous woman in this beautiful dress, and she takes my hand and we fall in love and the genie marries us right there. It was incredible.
"The genie booms, 'You have one wish remaining.'"
Before finishing his amazing tale, the guy pauses and sips his beer. He says, "Now, you know, this may be where I went wrong. I wished for a huge orange head."
But why orange?
o_0
Thing is, choose "live forever" and there's a huuuuge risk associated with that.
Quality of life?I mean, you could be a head in a jar (ala Futurama) and it's technically correct.
You could be a head (or brain) in a jar right now. There's no need to discriminate!
Good health for friends and family, the rest you can do yourselves :)
I think having more money than I could spend would just seem like a challenge to me. Possibly leading to my self-destruction. It would also get pretty boring after a while.
I couldn't imagine ever wanting to live forever. I don't want to outlive my children, grandchildren etc. Going to the funeral of my child would break me.
To love and be loved - already have it.
So I guess I choose 'other'…I would wish for my children to live long, happy, satisfying lives filled with love.
To know this was going to happen would make me very content.
In that case I will do all the ozbargainers a service and wish that those who made a wish to become rich become poor again.
Good Guy Greg.jpg
*I want other people not to have stuff.*
A true Good Guy Greg wouldn't think of himself as such.
ScumbagSteve.jpg
would wish for my children to live long, happy, satisfying lives filled with love.
Your wish is the one that is closest to mine. But how would that work? We don't all define happiness in the same way.My son is fascinated by what makes us different. when he grows up, he wants to be a cultural anthropologist and immerse himself in other cultures and learn their way of life. His twin sister on the other hand, thinks we are all the same. We are all earthlings o.O She wants to go to space and explore what is out there.
Happiness for me would be to hear from my children at least once a week and to know they are well. Somehow I doubt I'll be getting that many viber calls from outer space or from a tribe settlement in africa :(
My wish would be then, that my children become who they are meant to be.But then they are going to become who they are meant to be anyway ,whether I use my wish or not, aren't they?
So my wish would be, that my meeting with the genie and his offer are erased from my memory.If I ca't remember him , then I won't regret not using that wish 'wisely' (whatever that means).I can then continue to do my best to raise strong, resilient kids and to have faith that things will work out for them; that things will work out for all us, somehow :)
What you say is very true. And funnily enough my thinking was more along the lines of their health, longevity and luck rather than what they do or who they become, because they are all small details in the big picture.
I have a friend who was widowed at 28, with a 7mth old baby. She just lost her father at 34. It was very sudden and unexpected, I was at his funeral yesterday. That is the kind of things I would wish my kids to be protected from.
Somehow I doubt I'll be getting that many viber calls from outer space or from a tribe settlement in africa :(
:)
IMO, this is a failing of Western culture. When children are "taught" that they can be what ever they want and to derive their identities (the being) from a job title it can all come crashing down when they discover that it isn't true.
If the world had 4 billion "astronaut"s and 4 billion "marine-biologist-that-swims-with-dolphins"s who would collect the garbage?
When everyone is competing to be the best, virtually everyone will be a loser. But when you are content with the basic necessities of life, everything more is a bonus.
IMO, this is a failing of Western culture.
Our son wants to live in the most remote and isolated region of the world while our daugther wants to move to mars. You're right: its a failing of the 'western culture'. Nothing to do with us as parents. lol
Edit: The future
Other . All of the above
Consequences, people.
As of NOW, more people have ticked the first box than any other - seemingly willing to forsake the simple thrill of pursuing and attaining a bargain.
This, in turn, could make Scotty cry.
DO YOU WANT TO MAKE SCOTTY CRY?
DO YA??Heartless first-box-ticking PUNKS.
Other- Jar jar Binks get his inverted nipples back
For Jar Jar Binks to post pic of himself!
I can grant that one for you…
His real name's Chris and he wasn't bad looking, back when..
(HOLY CRAP I THINK I MIGHT BE ON THE TURN.)
This is a very confusing thread, Chris.
I mean, Jar Jar.
:S
Well played!
@scrimshaw: Dear Genie, is it too late to change my mind? I said "to love and be loved" but that would be a complete waste,wouldn't it? I mean, I am loving, lovable and cute. I am the kind of person who grows on you. One cannot not love me :)I would therefore rather use my wish for something else.
Don't you just hate it when a woman says she won't do something and then she does it anyway?That's one of my pet peeve. Here's an example: someone close to me,we'll call her 'my beloved', said that she will be too busy to check ozbargain for the next few weeks and put me in charge of everything ozbargain-related. So I take my job seriously and compulsively check both the bargains and forum sections on here.
I also post this, thinking I can trust my beloved to not do what she said she wouldn't do. Sadly that is not the case. Women cannot be trusted to resist temptation :(
So my wish is that my beloved is blocked from accessing ozbargain for the next 21 days.Please make my wish come true.
Thanks,
JJB :)Blocking her won't help as she can easily see the forum topics without even logging in. You should have created a fake profile to post that forum topic. i am pretty sure its two late now but remember for 25 anniversary. By the way love reading your stuff
You should have created a fake profile to post that forum topic.
FYI, that's a
bannableterminable offence:Multiple accounts held by the same individual or entity are subject to immediate termination unless expressly authorised by OzBargain.
i am sure scotty would have authorised it under the circumstances
Dear Genie, is it too late to change my mind?
Nay, I'm afraid not. For the Ozbargain Genie takes no refunds, or exchanges, on change of mind.
New Forum Topic begins: OzBargain Genie doesn't comply with Australian Consumer Law - scam, beware!!
Other — I wish to be able to upvote the same post more than once.
I'm hoping that isn't the only law it breaks… I mean, I can somehow picture someone saying "there is a genie in my "lamp", you just have to rub it…"
lol
@JJB, in my defence , I wasn't checking ozbargain, I was checking my email.Your thread made it on the ozbargain newsletter.
Btw, we've run out of ice-cream 8b
My wish would be that no child ever gets abused in any way.
Wow, dark. You could phrase that more positively and maybe get more out of it, too - I would wish that all children grow up with the right amount of appropriate attention paid to them, and given the right amount of freedom, so that all people have the skills to reach their full potential in life.
Raising awareness is a step towards achieving the wish. Bless.
How about having your wishes turn out like the monkey paw…
giving you unexpected/unwanted consequences..
I'd wish for an appreciation in everything but not to be so content that I don't strive for more. In a round about way, I'd wish to be happy.
I'd wish for more time to think of a better answer.
Wish granted. You have no more wishes remaining. Thank you and have a good day.
World peace.
I think I had a seizure while listening to that :S
Wish granted. There is peace on Earth.
But everyone is replaced by emotionless and unfeeling robots with no sense of self, no political stances and no religious beliefs, but they can at least live peacefully.
For Commodore International/Business Machines to never go bankrupt. Would be cool to be sitting in front of computer that would be related to a Amiga ancestor B-)
I wish for the human race to be infinitely smarter than we are now.. We can solve all problems regardless.
I would have wished for knowledge, but knowledge for all would have its benefits.
Wish granted. Everyone is now intellectually talented, but not at the same magnitude due to their abilities to learn, age/maturity, personality types and other individual differences.
The smartest people get together and hatch a plan for world domination and eventually the majority of the globe is now under the authoritative rule of a select few mega-geniuses who govern how the world should run, how the environment should be protected and how our species should progress as a whole — despite our increased intelligence, it still doesn't mean that all humans will agree with one another and we eventually still end up fighting wars with one another.
Better to be at war than that world peace thing. Yikes.
yeah.. everything leads to war anyways.. LETS DO IT… and we are all so smart we can all find ways to be immortal and have inter planetary space travels.. Ohhh yeah Space Planet wars.. Then build weapons so that can destroy the world in a hit..
King crimson - Epitah
The wall on which the prophets wrote
Is cracking at the seams
Upon the instruments of death
The sunlight brightly gleams
When every man is torn apart
With nightmares and with dreams,
Will no one lay the laurel wreath
As silence drowns the screamsBetween the iron gates of fate,
The seeds of time were sown,
And watered by the deeds of those
Who know and who are known;
Knowledge is a deadly friend
When no one sets the rules
The fate of all mankind I see
Is in the hands of foolsConfusion will be my epitaph
As I crawl a cracked and broken path
If we make it we can all sit back and laugh,
But I fear tomorrow I'll be crying,
Yes I fear tomorrow I'll be cryingEdit: For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief. King solomon
A full time job with the guys at OzB.
If you send your resume to Scotty, he might be able to grant your wish …
send your resume
Dude has over 400 badges, surely that's enough.
I'm surprised you're not already working at Ozb!
why not just wish to be happy ? everything else would come with it.
I think you mean: "everything else would be redundant".
I don't see how being happy nets you money, immortality or love.
¬_¬
Well everything else that you "need" will need to come in order for you to be happy. Obviously it will be a personal thing, some might be happy with money some with love others with better health etc in the end if you're miserable - being rich and immortal isn't going to help you (suicides show that). similarly if you're terminally ill at a young age and there's no cure for it - being rich isn't going to save you either. It just depends. Everyone's needs can be achieved on this bases (unless they wanted to be miserable in which case I guess it wouldn't)
a person who doesn't know sad will never be happy. just nominal
Wish granted. You are now happy, regardless of whatever happens around you.
You visited a friend's funeral and start smiling and laughing halfway. Everyone thinks you are insane and you have no friends :)
Your friends and family leave you because they describe you as an odd person who is incapable of showing empathy since you have a permanent smile stuck on your face, so you leave society and hide in a cave and live an ascetic, solitary lifestyle, happily ever after.
Being happy and laughing uncontrollably are two completely separate things. You must be a dodgy genie. (as a self note though - just because someones laughing doesn't mean they're happy - in fact some hide their depression by laughing and putting on a mask for others. Similarly not laughing at every stupid thing doesn't mean they're not happy either) :)
just because someones laughing doesn't mean they're happy
Watchmen Rorschach - Pagliacci
Note to self: must watch that movie again
at least s/he is still happy even if his/her family and friends leave her. Unaffected by external factors, eternally happy from the inside.
A genie granting a wish is like a dual sided blade. It relies on you articulating your wish clearly and the genie interpreting your wish correctly. It's difficult to foresee the long term consequences of the wish and I think most people would end up regretting it.
I believe life is about striving for something more and sometimes getting it. Having something fulfilled without doing anything to attain it makes you unable to appreciate it. When we work hard to achieve our goals, we value the journey as much as the end result. If we fail, most of the time we can try again and perhaps do something differently.
I would not wish for money because even if you remained the same person, your friends and family will treat you differently, and it'll be difficult to make friends without wondering if they had a hidden agenda.
I would not life for immortality; that's more a curse as I don't think I could handle seeing everyone and everything I care about disappear. Sure you will still exist but what about your mental and emotional state?
party pooper :)
To those who choose:
To have more money that I could ever spend.
genie will make sure you have 10 bucks (atleast), then he will kill you ;-p
I'm trying to figure out if living forever is a trick question..kinda that joke about asking for a little head…. (like yeah you can live forever, but it will be in a dungeon in a desert island)… I guess whatever you do you don't want to be sentenced to life imprisonment..
Because living forever would generally lead to having more money than you could ever spend and also increasing the chances of you loving and being loved and most likely covers most of the 'others' too.
eneloops
To know what women want.
I don't think women know what women want..
If that wasn't such a grossly sexist generalisation, I'd be inclined to agree.
To know what women want.
Your wish is granted. So, listen carefully:
Women are made to be loved, not understood.
'tis true.
Diamonds
to know the meaning of life. and my purpose in it!
42.
Thanks, turnip.
I just had an image of Zaphod Beeblebrox with two turnip heads pop into my brain.That will take a bit to shake.
So I thought. Then I pondered and pondered over the 42 and yet, nothing. NOTHING!
4 = Shi or Yon in Japanese
2 = Ni in JapaneseShini, in japanese, meaning death.
or Yonni , in sanscrit, meaning the vagina.
Make what you will of it, ms Turnip :)
p.s:did you read the books or watch the movie ?
Make what you will of it, ms Turnip :)
Interesting.
Vaginas are where life emerges… death is.. death. Um.. without those things, life has no meaning? (I'm clutching at straws here) lol
p.s:did you read the books or watch the movie ?
There's only one way to truly enjoy Douglas Adams
The movie disappointed me, but Zooey was hawt.
Of the four ways (including the BBC TV series, but excluding the game), there were two really enjoyable Hitchhiker's.
I had forgotten 'til turnip-reminded, that the BBC radio series actually preceded the book.
The series received multiple runs on ABC radio, including one not too long ago.
Back in one year when I was old enough, I stayed up until midnight to listen to the entire series on Radio National. A fond memory.Robin Williams (the other one, the ABC radio one) was friends with Douglas Adams and interviewed him on a number of occasions, also on RN. Those interviews were wonderful too, with love of science, conservation and his friendship with Richard Dawkins all discussed.
Died too young. Lots of freakishly tall people (college basketball players in the U.S., with regularity) drop dead because of various heart glitches, but at least Douglas had the life that he did and managed to get the books out!
I wouldn't mind a Babel fish as a Genie wish.
Your wish is granted.
Life has no meaning. Each of us has meaning and we bring it to life. It is a waste to be asking the question, when you are the answer.
Damn, that is one inspirational line of text. Seriously. And I wasn't even being sarcastic :/
Until you can answer this question, you wont be able to find the real meaning of life. What make you human ?
Never get fat no matter how much I eat or drink!
was about to type the exact same thing! +1!
Wish granted. Everytime after you eat, you get explosive diarrhea as most of what you eat isn't digested and is expelled out of you.
Dang, that's a pretty good one.
End world hunger? Or never get fat despite stuffing my face non stop…? hmm
decisions, decisions..
I'd wish to be able to teleport.
Money is nice and all but I don't need it.
Love is also nice but I don't have it now and I don't feel like i'm any the worse.
I can think of nothing worse than living forever. I don't want to see the human race burn itself into the ground and be sole survivor.
My brain and soul crave new experiences, new places, new adventures. If I could teleport I would be able to race and see the northern lights on a night where there are flares… to be with my friends and family when they most needed me in an instant… to escape danger when I do stupid stuff and almost kill myself and to not have to spend any more time with disgusting, germy individuals on those giant airborne tin cans they call 'planes'. Plus - I wouldn't need money to travel. Teleport somewhere for a day and back to my bed at night (especially when uber inebriated - much safer option). Sounds ideal!u do teleport to next sec by ur decision etc……
if u choose to go right, the timeline teleport u to right side of future than left tangent of life
My wish is for physical transportation. The ability to go from here to Switzerland in the blink of an eye. There are, of course, other noble benefits to this. Examples of which are intervening in situations to mitigate risk or save lives, to rescue those who need it etc.
Beat gravity.
Escape the Earth's gravity and the Earth would slip under you up to 1670km (fastest at the equator). It's travelling, without moving!
Escape the Sun's gravity and… well you're going to need a pretty good spacesuit. Watch out for the moon.
Live forever, no question, no doubt!
One wish.. May as well be the impossible. World peace :)
there is peace in world, depends on which world.
The notradamus predict end of civilisation, it's true, but different type of civilisation.peace in the world of some animal race (as they were protected now than being slaughtered)
Pleasantness for life..
Dear Genie,
My wish , nay my dream, would be to have JJB at my beck and call for a week. However I am happy to settle for say, 48 hours?I would think of it as my wedding anniversary present.
As wishes go, this should be an easy one to grant. I'm a big fan of your work. Please don't let me down.
Thanks you.
Wiki :)Granted
not just polls..
but also other topics like
-your sexual stuff with your missus..
-going on sex trips…
etc..