I wore your promise on my finger for a while...

[Deactivated] on 20/01/2015 - 20:32
Last edited 20/01/2015 - 20:40

now I don't want it, I don't want you.

So what do you do with that ring? Do you sell it? Do you give it back to the person who gave it to you?

Would you buy someone else engagement/wedding rings if it was a bargain and give it to someone you love? If you did, would you tell them where the ring came from?

A friend broke up with his fiancee. She didn't take it very well , smashed a few of his toys, including his car and left the engagement ring at the scene of the crime so he would know who did it. He doesn't want the ring and trying to give it to us in payment for room and board. He stayed over at our place for a week or so and then again the night of the 'incident'. We don't want it either for obvious reasons.

cheers,
JJB

General Discussion

Comments

  • minniethemoocher on 20/01/2015 - 20:39
    +3

    Put it in classifieds in Ozbargain.

    • [Deactivated] on 20/01/2015 - 20:46
      +1

      He's a good friend. He's emotionally vulnerable. He left the ring in our guest bedroom. He may not want the ring but I doubt that he can afford to give away $20,000 ++

      • yessum on 20/01/2015 - 20:51
        +4

        Can you sell it for him and give him the cash so he can get back on his feet and move on?

        • [Deactivated] on 20/01/2015 - 21:03
          +3

          We've already helped him as much as we could. I don't want now to be responsible for selling a super expensive ring.
          Plus I know very little about diamond. That ring could be worth a hell of a lot more. He drives, or rather used to drive, a Mc Laren. He lives way , way above his means.

        • woz on 21/01/2015 - 08:25
          +25

          @Jar Jar Binks:

          A McLaren?! Cough. Splutter. The milk from my corn flakes just went up my nose.

        • lenlynn on 21/01/2015 - 09:47
          +1

          @Jar Jar Binks: agree that you should not help him sell it cos it's not cheap, and if he thinks you let it go for lower than what it's worth the friendship can be strained.

          On a side note, I'm actually looking for an engagement ring now. If he decides to sell it, pm me the specs pls. There are people selling their rings online.

        • Noblejoker on 21/01/2015 - 14:46
          +8

          @lenlynn: "There are people selling their rings online."
          I am sure you are right - lol

        • [Deactivated] on 21/01/2015 - 16:59

          @woz: I cried when I saw the car …and that was when he bought it . Haven't seen it since the ex has taken a hammer (?) to it.

        • [Deactivated] on 21/01/2015 - 17:00

          @lenlynn: you don't mind buying a 'second-hand' one?

        • lenlynn on 21/01/2015 - 20:15
          +2

          @Jar Jar Binks: Nah I'm relatively practical. I told my partner I don't need an engagement ring, just a wedding band since I'm not sure how much I will wear an engagement ring cos it can get in the way of my work (I change gloves all the time). But if it's a good deal, then why not? haha

          We are ethnically Chinese though so I can see our family saying how "bad luck" it will be, not that it bothers me. lol

        • DEvok on 21/01/2015 - 21:22

          @woz:

          Geez, I bet he spend almost his entire saving on that, hope he has insurance. I recon its second hand anyway, thankgod!

        • Banana on 21/01/2015 - 23:33

          @Jar Jar Binks:
          My heart ached when I saw that. McLaren…

        • massafiri on 22/01/2015 - 11:20
          +1

          @Jar Jar Binks:
          He's made the right choice leaving this psychopath.

          Did she get charged for damaging his property?

        • Kenb0 on 22/01/2015 - 12:02
          +2

          @lenlynn: Heya lenlynn, if you're after an engagement ring and don't mind second-hand, msg me. I've got an engagement ring from a broken engagement from quite a few years ago that I haven't bothered to get rid off yet. Valuation papers put it at $17250 and its a 3 stone platinum ring with a middle diamond 0.5carat, D colour, IF clarity with two side stones of 0.2 carat, D colour, VVS1 clarity.

        • tunzafun001 on 23/01/2015 - 12:41
          +2

          @Jar Jar Binks:
          I would think a basic vandalism crime has been committed and insurance will be chasing her for damages. Perhaps she will also receive an expensive life lesson!

        • 2ndeffort on 23/01/2015 - 14:22

          @Noblejoker: They say the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else!

        • Baghern on 23/01/2015 - 14:25

          @Jar Jar Binks:

          You so need to get the current pics for it here

      • [Deactivated] on 20/01/2015 - 23:45
        +11

        $20k?! For a ring?! :O

        (sorry, I have no idea how much engagement rings usually are.. that just sounds absurd. omfggg)

        Don't lose that ring. lol Jebus. I'd be dead anxious in possession of something so small and valuable. Knowing me, I'd be like "I'm going to put it right here where it's safe…" rather than somewhere obvious to myself. Then never find it again.

        $20k?!!

        • lenlynn on 21/01/2015 - 09:50

          Lol get insurance for the ring.

        • Scrooge McDuck on 21/01/2015 - 14:02
          +1

          Aaaand it's gone.

        • [Deactivated] on 21/01/2015 - 17:10

          I've just seen the valuation papers, the one that is done for insurance purposes…. and I literally fell off my chair O.O
          Let's just say that if I was a high class gigolo, you could hire me for a year, maybe even a year and half!!! I would be totally worth it but still that's a hell of a lot of money.

          Are these valuation papers real? Is that the actual price that was paid for the ring?

        • Kenb0 on 21/01/2015 - 19:56
          +4

          @Jar Jar Binks:

          Nope. If anyone actually paid the price of what the valuation papers say the ring is valued at, then they got ripped off bigtime. The value on the valuation papers are purely for insurance companies…the higher its valued at, the higher a premium you have to pay to insure it.

          If the ring is lost/stolen, it doesn't cost anywhere near the valuation to get the ring replaced as they would buy it wholesale at a fraction of the valuation price

        • lenlynn on 21/01/2015 - 20:17

          @Jar Jar Binks: You just made me so very curious!! :(

        • [Deactivated] on 21/01/2015 - 20:30
          +1

          @lenlynn: If I was a gigolo, I would be very good at what I do and therefore I wouldn't be cheap. There's a lot of zeroes on that piece of paper. I can't believe we let our daughter wear it on her toe or that we left it overnight in the bedside drawer. Its safely locked in a safe somewhere else now.

        • lenlynn on 21/01/2015 - 20:32

          @Jar Jar Binks: Can you give a hint? Some GIA numbers? hahahaha

          If I were you/ female you, I'll take it out and caress it. lovingly. and take some pics.

        • [Deactivated] on 21/01/2015 - 21:05
          +1

          @lenlynn:

          If I were you/ female you, I'll take it out and caress it. lovingly. and take some pics.

          Not all girls are into rings and smitten by diamonds :P

        • lenlynn on 21/01/2015 - 21:24

          @waterlogged turnip: True that, but how often would I have the chance to do that?

        • ozscharfschutze on 21/01/2015 - 22:34
          +6

          @lenlynn: My PREEECIOUS…

        • lenlynn on 23/01/2015 - 23:07

          @ozscharfschutze: LOL exactly!! Was thinking of that when I posted that originally!

      • ESEMCE on 21/01/2015 - 08:32
        +10

        Take it and store it for a year or more until he's back on his feet and then give it back to him so that he can sell it.

  • Davo1111 on 20/01/2015 - 20:52
    -1

    $1 reserve on ebay.

    Don't know tbh. I'd be inclined to sell it and pay for the damage she created

    • [Deactivated] on 20/01/2015 - 21:08
      +1

      I'd be inclined to sell it and pay for the damage she created

      then you're a better friend than I am . I'm not taking the responsibility of selling somebody's expensive ring for them.

      He's a good mate but I'm beginning to think the missus right: that he's hoping someone else's will solve all his problems for him. So I sell the ring, then what? Do I also organise to get his car fixed? Replace his tv , his coffee table, mirrors…etc Our work secretary had to organise for a cleaning team to sort out his house and the boss is paying for his hotel room while his place is getting repainted. The psycho ex has graffittied his walls.Not sure who has organised for the painter but I doubt it would have been him.

      Edit: Sorry Davo, I'm getting really frustrated with this whole thing. He's gone in hiding. He's not answering his phone. So now, I've got the seriously "pissed off" ex-to-be-in-laws calling me non-stop wanting to know where he is . So called "concerned" friends turning up on my doorstep wanting to know if he's ok, if she had been cheating on him with anyone they know…etc

      • Davo1111 on 20/01/2015 - 21:54
        +3

        oh, i meant he sells the ring himself to pay for the damage.

        If i was the guy, i would have called the police straight away, and reported her for the damage

        It sounds like there isn't much you can do at the moment. I suppose you can offer him a bed if he requires it. Otherwise chill

      • [Deactivated] on 20/01/2015 - 23:52
        +1

        Any estimate on the total damages yet?

        How old is this guy anyway? How long were they together for (and how long have they been engaged for)? Those questions don't really relate to the matter at hand… more out of personal curiosity :P Poor bastard. Though, in saying that, none of us know the situation. But nothing would ever justify her response like that.

        AVO? Is he fearful at all? Possibly fearful of the not-in-laws-to-be? I realise AVOs are quite a hollow statement if anything (ie. not a physical protection unless your threat has a conscience already) but it might be worth considering? As a last resort though maybe.

        What a mess, huh.

        • [Deactivated] on 21/01/2015 - 17:39

          He's my age. Early 30s. I think they were more in lust than in love.I doubt that either one is heart broken. Its more a case of wounded pride and losing face.

          AVO? Is he fearful at all?

          I don't think they'll hurt him. As far as I know, the ex-fiance is the only psycho in her family.

        • [Deactivated] on 21/01/2015 - 19:21

          @Jar Jar Binks:

          AFAIK, AVOs aren't just about personal protection against injury - it theoretically should stop the ex from going within a certain distance from anywhere your mate lives, works, etc. Ie. should stop her from being able to turn up at his door step for any reason at all, not just to harm him. Even if she wanted to unleash an angry tirade from his front garden that'd be a no-no with the papers. Theoretically.

          Could also potentially get her parents included in it if they're likely to hassle him.

          but as I said.. probably best as a last resort, getting the police involved etc. He has every right to as it is, based on her trashing his stuff, but hopefully things will calm down on their own accord now - taking further steps when it might not be totally necessary might only exacerbate things again and create another shitstorm.

        • [Deactivated] on 21/01/2015 - 20:25
          +1

          @waterlogged turnip:
          What he needs is to find someone else: someone who is strong, sensible, smart, kind-hearted but with just the right dose of fiery temper to keep things interesting… Someone who is a social activist and who will open his eyes to the fact that his belly-button is not the center of the world. someone who wouldn't care about his family's money or that he's been around the block a few times. Someone who will look at this narcissitic m********ker (and I say this with all the fondness I have for him) and see the good man with a good heart that's beneath it.

          Interested? :b

          Edit: Dunno if this helps, but my kids reckon he looks like the Flynn Rider :)

        • [Deactivated] on 21/01/2015 - 21:40

          @Jar Jar Binks: I very much doubt I'd be his type lol. But thanks anyway :P

        • what on 21/01/2015 - 21:56
          +5

          I can't believe I just checked out the Flynn Rider on google.

        • itchyscratchy on 21/01/2015 - 22:53
          +1

          Me too

        • [Deactivated] on 21/01/2015 - 23:24
          +3

          @waterlogged turnip: Its ok . My daughter wants him. She's trying to convince me to hide him in our garage :(

        • ProjectZero on 22/01/2015 - 12:58

          @Jar Jar Binks:

          O_O

          Mate, that sounds a little dangerous if you know what I mean. You guys aren't gonna tie him up in your garage are ya… Someone call the cops!

        • [Deactivated] on 22/01/2015 - 16:14
          +1

          @ProjectZero:He'll be useless as a slave.He once offered to help me with the gardening and it took us twice as long to do the job than if I had paid my next door neighbour to do it. My next door neighbour is a lady of a certain age.

        • ProjectZero on 22/01/2015 - 16:18

          @Jar Jar Binks:

          LOL, must be something he is good at…

        • [Deactivated] on 22/01/2015 - 16:57

          @ProjectZero: Sex, I would assume if the old adage of "practice makes perfect" is true… He's also great at entertaining kids and animals love him…which is why I tried to fob him off to Ms Turnip. But she won't have him, sensible woman that she is :)

        • ProjectZero on 22/01/2015 - 17:05
          +1

          @Jar Jar Binks:
          Hahaha, sounds like dumping unwanted baggage onto someone else =P

        • [Deactivated] on 23/01/2015 - 21:35

          @what: Flynn ryder

        • BargainShopaholic on 26/01/2015 - 01:06

          @what: me too

        • what on 26/01/2015 - 01:14

          It reminds me of something my sister said many many years ago when we were kids.

          We were watching a cartoon. Can't remember which one but she said 'if I was a cartoon, I would want to marry him'.

      • woz on 21/01/2015 - 08:42
        +6

        I'm quite envious. You, wicket and kids appear to have an exciting, eloquent life littered with a bewildering menagerie of friends.

        The non-stop venting and curiosity will cease soon enough. Strange father-in-law irony extolling the sainthood of the jilted one while conveniently forgetting his contribution to the 'entertainment' at a certain business trip.

        This is an opportunity for you to not so much be frustrated, but to be appreciative that you aren't in his shoes. Look at what you've got. Look at where he's at. If you're not laughing, you may not be looking at things in the right 24-carat light.

        Hand the ring to your boss and tell him to file it under D for Don't Need This Responsibility. After of course watching your beloved try the ostentatious rock on for a second and capturing the look on her face as she affirms she's more than happy with the ring she's got.

        • bluedufflecoat on 21/01/2015 - 09:39

          No, that was (if it's the same guy) the stepfather of the groom, not the fiancée's dad.

        • woz on 21/01/2015 - 09:51

          @amelyn:

          Ah. My bad. Thanks for the quick heads up before I stick my other foot in my mouth as well. :-)

        • [Deactivated] on 21/01/2015 - 17:50
          +2

          @woz, the missus doesn't want to have anything to do with the ring. She's one of those true romantics for whom the sentimental value of things are worth more than actual monetary value.
          My daughter, on the other hand, loved the ring. She thought it looked just right on her big toe… She likes pretty, shiny things :)

      • adante on 21/01/2015 - 17:00

        I've got ask what sort of business do you work at they will organise cleanups and float hotel room bills for this sort of debaclery?

        I know you can't be too specific but I'm genuinely curious. Sounds like a great place.

        • [Deactivated] on 21/01/2015 - 18:01
          +3

          @ adante, they also let me bring either my kids or my pets to work once every fortnight… and I get to wear a lab coat even though I don't need one. Best job in the world :)
          Let's just say that when you walk in the foyer, there's a massive poster with the words : "Someday, its not a superhero who will save the world…its a team of scientists who'll get the job done!"

  • trex on 20/01/2015 - 20:55
    +10

    C'est la vie…. Let him cool down then return the ring to him at a later date.

  • rowenaduncan on 20/01/2015 - 21:16
    +1

    I have my brother's ex's engagement ring. He didn't want to sell it, chuck it or give it away - so it has been in my possession ever since… I've had it for almost 15 years. He got married a month ago, and I expect he will ask for it back soon, so he can sell it. So I guess what I'm getting at is - does he have a close family member that will look after it for him?

    • [Deactivated] on 20/01/2015 - 21:32

      The only other person I can think of that he could have given that ring to and they wouldn't immediately gotten it evaluated, would be our boss. The more I'm looking at this ring, the more I'm getting mad and I can't even explain it.

      • rowenaduncan on 20/01/2015 - 22:04
        +1

        Well, if you get stuck… I've always got enough room to foster another "rock" at my place… ;)

        • [Deactivated] on 20/01/2015 - 22:34

          Lol. Thanks, I'll keep that in mind :)

        • [Deactivated] on 21/01/2015 - 14:50

          @Jar Jar Binks: Me too, I am very respectable man, much friendly.

        • tomorrows_angel on 21/01/2015 - 17:12

          Haha I have room too.
          My fiance broke it off and made me pay for the ring when we split everything up (he is a jerk). Now I have a ring I paid for and still won't wear hidden in my parents' house.

        • [Deactivated] on 21/01/2015 - 18:57
          +1

          @tomorrows_angel: If that person didn't mean anything to you,and he shouldn't after what he did to you, why keep the ring? Just sell it.

  • bluedufflecoat on 20/01/2015 - 21:49
    +19

    Not the same friend that was getting married and has the dubious bachelor party weekend, JJB?

    • [Deactivated] on 20/01/2015 - 22:46
      +5

      I can't really answer that one, Amelyn.

      But I can tell you why I was mad earlier. According to my kids, a "very angry man came" this afternoon, "he knocked really loudly and was shouting at mom".The very angry man was my mate's ex fiancee's father who thought he was "hiding" at my place and wanted to know why he had "dumped" his "beautiful , wonderful, saintly" daughter 3 weeks before the big day. I was really mad at my wife for not telling me about it. She says she was waiting for the kids to go to bed first before telling me.
      I've furious at my mate for getting my wife and kids involved in something that has nothing to do with them, while he being a coward, hiding in a hotel somewhere.

      • bluedufflecoat on 21/01/2015 - 07:14
        +1

        How did the dad know where you live? If he comes round again, tell your wife and kids to call the cops.

        Nothing much you can do about you friend until things calm down a lot… hold the ring in safekeeping until he works out what to do. You can't solve his problems for him and you shouldn't.

      • Scrooge McDuck on 21/01/2015 - 14:13
        +4

        "he knocked really loudly and was shouting at mom"

        JJB, are your children American?

        • [Deactivated] on 21/01/2015 - 18:46
          +4

          My children are citizens of the world. They speak several languages. They used the word "mammy" but I've translated it to "mom".

        • AussieDolphin on 21/01/2015 - 21:33
          +1

          @Jar Jar Binks: It's mom in my house too. Ex South Africans and for some reason mom sounds better to my ears than 'mummy' - :).

  • what on 20/01/2015 - 22:10
    +1

    Could you give it to his parents to take care of?

    • [Deactivated] on 20/01/2015 - 22:47

      No. He's mother is a depressive-alcoholic and his step-father is an a**hole.

      • what on 20/01/2015 - 22:52

        Oh, that's no good.

        Does he have siblings? Perhaps they can help with the problem.

      • [Deactivated] on 20/01/2015 - 22:59
        +1

        *his mother

        He has no one he can trust except for us, our boss(?) and Rowenaduncan…

  • PJC on 20/01/2015 - 22:50
    +1

    Assure him this is far better than marrying her. Suggest he changes his locks lest she returns, like a dog to its vomit. I doubt you really want a good mate to pay for staying at your place a week or so. Keep the ring safe until he requests it or until a year has passed. Return it to him before a witness.

  • inherentchoice on 20/01/2015 - 23:43

    Just a thought: How much for a bank safe? Could you open a bank safe in his name and give him the key?

  • [Deactivated] on 21/01/2015 - 00:04
    +2

    I'm a wee bit confused. Nothing was damaged at your house, was it? Would he have normally paid you anything for crashing at your house for any length of time? Just seems irrational and odd that he'd leave this $20k ring and say it's payment for boarding with you guys for one week. It doesn't sound like he's thinking clearly at the moment, no?

    If anything, I'd just hold on to the ring, as others have suggested, until things have cooled down for him and he's able to make a more level headed decision about what to do with it. It's a lot of money, whether he's already rolling in cash or not - especially considering he's now got the extra expenses of damages to cover, whatever happens to the ring may help him tremendously. Selling it prematurely might also end up in regret if their relationship, heaven forbid, is tumultuous enough to being 'back on'. Who knows. I guess it's hard for us to give any solid advice without knowing the real circumstances surrounding this break up etc and the seriousness of it. Obviously you know him best and will guide him as any great friend will. But yeah… let him make the decision re: the ring. It shouldn't be your burden. Also the last thing you and your family needs is the not-bride-to-be's father knocking on your door again (if) he finds out you had the ring and sold it, or something. You know? The less you do, the safer, most likely lol.

    He's lucky to have you as a safekeeper and someone he can trust. But don't let all this drama and responsibility take over your life and get you down :( Hopefully it all calms down soon.

    • [Deactivated] on 21/01/2015 - 19:24
      +3

      He's my mate. It was great having him around. He adores my kids, has a huge crush on my wife and thinks I'm perfection made man. ..ok he never said that last bit… nor did he ever actually say he had a huge crush on my wife, just that she's stunning, funny, sweet and he was almost tripping over his own feet like an over-eager puppy to please her. It was funny to watch , especially when that same guy once told me that I was P***y-whipped :)

      He was our guest.No payment was required.

      • [Deactivated] on 22/01/2015 - 00:37
        +1

        I might have worded my post sloppily, sorry. I meant, would he normally give you anything in return for letting him crash at your house? Whether it be fancy gifts or some cash as a gesture? You know how there are mates who, even though they're your mates and you always help each other out and do favours for one another, will always insist on giving you something as a token thank you (not necessarily money).

        Never thought you'd expect any payment or anything of the sort - apologies if it sounded like I was asking along those lines :)

        P.S. I have guests staying with me at the moment too. Nine of them! But they have four legs each. And they're furry. lol

        • [Deactivated] on 22/01/2015 - 16:30

          He's very generous with his money. Hence why he has so many 'friends'.

          When he was at our place, he helped with household chores, with the kids, took the dog for walks…

          But they have four legs each

          and a tail?

  • inherentchoice on 21/01/2015 - 00:18

    Since you don't want to see the ring, maybe invest in one of these:

    Secret electric wall outlet safety deposit box

  • sparkles on 21/01/2015 - 01:31
    +2

    All you can really do is keep the ring safe for him, and offer him a place to crash if he needs it. You can't solve his problems, he sounds like he just needs time to come to terms with everything. Having someone trash your place and car would be massive wake up call, one that he probably wants to run away from.

  • juventino on 21/01/2015 - 03:26
    +7

    Smeigol will be interested

  • shaybisc on 21/01/2015 - 07:35
    +9

    Interesting to find that there has been a NSW Supreme Court case on the issue of engagement rings when the marriage is called off.

    "The Judge found that the legal principles in the case were that:

    If a woman who has received a ring in contemplation of marriage refuses to fulfil the conditions of the gift she must return it.
    If a man has, without a recognised legal justification, refused to carry out his promise of marriage, he cannot demand the return of the engagement ring.
    If the engagement to marry is dissolved by mutual consent, then in the absence of agreement to the contrary, the engagement ring and like gifts must be returned by each party to the other."

    http://kellsfamilylaw.clientcommunity.com.au/383/694/3934.ht…

    So in this case the fiancee would be within her rights to keep the ring.

    • [Deactivated] on 21/01/2015 - 08:15

      There are cases that highlight that on Judge Judy all the time. Though that is in the US lol. Interesting to know the same law applies here in NSW.

      I was tempted to mention that too but what happens when the woman decides to leave the ring with the man, as in this situation?

      Ethical question is then kinda raised - does he dude ask her if she wants the ring back (and cover is arse for more potential pain later if she learns of her legal entitlements and comes storming back for the ring?) or does he say nothing, keep the ring, and hope she never realises she could and should've kept it legally… even though… the law isn't necessarily morally right etc etc :P (though that's my personal opinion anyway - question everything, just cos it's a law doesn't make it right no matter what).

      I am rambling.

      • shaybisc on 21/01/2015 - 08:44

        The entire concept of the engagement ring seems weird to me, as alien as if I was reading about the strange rituals of the ancient Egyptians.

      • woz on 21/01/2015 - 08:51
        -7

        I think it's pretty common knowledge that the ring stays with the woman unless she throws it back in his face.

        There's no mystery here - fubar the guy's stuff including car, and here's your demented rock to pay for the repair bill - or of course you can stick your ring where the sun don't shine. Psycho but perhaps understandable depending on circumstances.

        • shaybisc on 21/01/2015 - 08:54
          +2

          In many US states the ring must be returned in all circumstances.

          Iowa
          Florida
          Kansas
          Michigan
          Minnesota
          New Jersey
          New Mexico
          New York
          Pennsylvania
          Wisconsin

          http://marriage.about.com/od/rings/a/ringreturn.htm

        • woz on 21/01/2015 - 09:09
          -6

          I think it's pretty common knowledge IN AUSTRALIA that the ring stays with the woman unless she throws it back in his face. I'm AWFULLY sorry for not making that clear. Sorry if I offended anyone to the degree it required a neg.

        • Ayanami on 21/01/2015 - 10:51
          +1

          I'm not aware of any law to the effect that you're suggesting. Someone up top posted (admittedly low) case authority to a different effect as well.

        • thord on 21/01/2015 - 11:51
          +1

          @woz:

          based on what? You're feelings of what is correct?

          It's not "common knowledge". It might be a common assumption, but it doesn't make it true.

        • woz on 21/01/2015 - 12:22
          -5

          @Ayanami:

          I wasn't referring to a 'law'. I was, as thord correctly surmised, basing my comment on a common assumption.

          That assumption is that most reasonable people would not expect a gift with such incredible emotional attachment to instantly become a mere asset the moment a man renegs on his proposal of marriage. Only an absolute a***hole would think otherwise.

          In the hypothetical case of a woman reneging on the proposal's answer, then the answer may well depend on the value of the ring. Unless the ring is insanely valuable, then I would have thought that an unwanted engagement ring was akin to kryptonite. No sane man would want to have anything to do with it. Only a man with a heart made of stone would be safe to touch it. That is of course merely my opinion.

        • Ayanami on 21/01/2015 - 21:59
          +1

          @woz:

          On the one hand, you make blanket statements about common knowledge/assumptions and what most reasonable people would think, then on the other you assert that you are merely stating your opinion. All while suggesting that those who think differently can only be "absolute a**holes".

          That high horse you're riding must be awfully confused about which way it's supposed to be heading. Let us know if you ever make your way out of Condescension Falls.

        • woz on 22/01/2015 - 07:55

          @Ayanami:

          Two situations: one I believed was common knowledge and the OTHER I stated was just my opinion. The two aren't mutually exclusive.

          I'll concede that if someone that disagrees with me can also string an eloquent sentence or two together, there's a reasonable chance I may have the wrong of it.

          I withdraw my claim that the jilted woman keeping the ring is common knowledge.

  • belongsinforums on 21/01/2015 - 07:40

    He's Lucky to have escaped marriage with her. Hide the ring in the battery department of a household device

    • [Deactivated] on 21/01/2015 - 19:36
      +1

      Ring is in a safe somewhere now.Not my responsibility anymore.

    • [Deactivated] on 21/01/2015 - 19:46
      +5

      @RFM, you can't be serious. They both deserve better.

      Life is too short, or too long, for us to allow ourselves the luxury of living it so badly.

      • [Deactivated] on 24/01/2015 - 11:32
        -2

        All I'm saying is, people need to honour their promises - or don't make them in the first place. There's engraving on the ring. One did it, one accepted it. Which means at least one is a liar, needs to man-up, and keep their promise.

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