Hi Ozbargainers. Looking for some guidance
My missus keeps complaining that i don't surprise her with nice things enough. I guess she wants me to do something nice everyday because that makes her happy.
So i seek guidance from my ozbargain family for cheap and inexpensive ways to achieve this.
All types of idea's welcome.
Let the games begin !!
Who needs OzBargain when you can find a sucker who will give you loads of free stuff?
You just need to man up and keep things romantic in a non-gift item giving way.
Sometimes getting creative can pay off. It's super cute. Like writing notes on the lunches she packs to work or folding some little paper hearts. I have previously given someone a box of 400 paper hearts on the first anniversary. One for each day my heart belonged to them (goes back to the day we met). Though since you've married for a little while im assuming maybe one for each year is a bit more managable haha. Best of luck!
a box… full of 400 paper hearts? i bet someone was disappointed.
Gave other things too.. Just thought the sentiment would be nice is all. Took ages…
I think it's a lovely sentiment and would have been touched to receive something thoughtful like that.
I think a lot of people value things like that.
My hubby has always written me really long love notes in any cards he gives me (for birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine's day etc). As corny as they often are, I look forward to them. For our 10th wedding anniversary I made him up a photo book full of pictures of us from over the years with things that I love and admire about him. It took me ages to gather up all the photos and put it all together.
Be creative with a PC and printer and produce a book of vouchers..such as Voucher redeemable for 1 sensual massage, voucher for 1 hour of slave time where you are hers for her to do anything she wants with, you can get really creative and depending on your relationship can get quite kinky but could be as boring as a day of housework. Try and keep it to things that you know she will enjoy whether that's bossing you around or her being pampered…really up to you.
i recently did this as part of a bday present for my wife, lets just say she thanked me well.
thats a really good idea. I like !!
Put expiry date on that too, perhaps some T&Cs like not exchangeable for cash.
Nor transferable (especially to her mum).
She'd just pawn you off doing house work and chores for them while keeping all the good ones for herself though.
But depending on your wife, the house work could be the good ones and the <censored> be the chores.
Don't do it EC!
I've noticed that every lovey-dovey couple who fawn over one another with their very public displays of romantic affections ALWAYS BREAK-UP. I call it the "Seal-Heidi Klum Effect" and it's just not sustainable in a long term relationship.
You need a partner who understands that "your presence is your present".
Send her a naked selfie of yourself everyday
Its need to be a classy one though. EC,maybe you can post the link here and we'll let you know if its classy enough or if you need to take another one :p
To all the men who won't believe us when we say we like funny guys: look at that pic …and then at this oneThats's his wife, who agreed to give her up her religion and convert to his, just so she could be with him.
Moral of the story? If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything :)
Tell her its not in your contract.
Seriously this sounds like she wants attention for her own self-indulgence and to show off to others rather than the act of kindness on your behalf. If she wants attention tell her to get a puppy. If she wants a companion that will do things when the time is right that is what you are.
I have a partner i've been with for 6+ years. I spoil her when I can and i'm sure she knows and appreciates it. She does the same. We have never had a single argument. Ever.
For example she was oogling a rather expensive bag a while back (for the ozbargain ladies playing at home it was a 'Proenza-Schuler' rrp ~ $2700). She had spent some time looking and found an authentic one with receipts for $600 used and I told her to get it and i'll pay for it. I also told her, if she got over it and wanted to sell it and get something else I wouldn't be offended and would happily pay any extra if does find anything else (she had done- sold it with a profit, and is currently looking for a new bag).
But it's a two way street, a few weeks ago she suprised me with tickets to see Ben Folds at the Opera House. Something i've wanted to see for years. We don't go out of our way every day but when its done it counts.
Her 'complaining' sounds more like extortion. Put the cards on the table and set her straight. The harsh word now will bring happiness in the long run (with or without her ;) )
Sorry, its a bit blunt but I really hate seeing guys being bullied over like this.
…. Alternatively and on a lighter note here's a great suggestion. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VHQBgOZKk6k
Ordered surprises aren't real surprises, are they? "You need to surprise me now!"
And, if you have to think about what you cold do, then, that's wrong too. It should be natural do surprise her.
Women, you can never win with them… if you surprise her too often its no longer a surprise,,, so surprise her once a month
I have found this thread quite interesting and enlightening.
As a soon to be husband, I have found over the years with my partner that she likes surprises, but as most have mentioned, once certain surprises are too regular, they become expected.
I use to write letters and bake all sorts of things when we first met. Not that I don't like doing it, but I found reducing the frequency of them makes it more special.
Not that we live together, but I do all the chores anyways and that's probably how it'll be. So 'doing the house work' isn't really a surprise as that'll be me doing it anyways.
My personal favourite surprise is just leaving notes around the car or house or wherever to make one big overall message. Requires effort and some creativity, but it's fun and the effort is acknowledged.
Thanks for all the suggestions from everyone previously. I think the early morning breakfast thing would be great for married life!
I read this and thought of all the lovely things my darling does for me…
Breakfast in bed, EVERYDAY! (while I sleep in before work)
He drives me to work so we can spend the commute time together, and then he picks me up after work.
At cafes he will voluntarily give me a shoulder massage.
He gives me foot rubs, pretty much everyday.
He calls me cute pet names.
He doesn't buy me a lot but is 100% devoted.
I think the best gifts in life are free :)
Where's the surprise in that?
Surprise her with divorce papers.
The sense of women entitlement have these days. Being a good, loving, providing husband isn't enough any more, now you have to be a dancing monkey for her too?
agree, why isn't the shoe on the other foot? why can't you whinge and complain to her that she doesn't surprise you enough? sounds like her friends have been bashing her ear off about how great their husbands are and it sets an expectation for her.
If you were to suggest she doesn't surprise you enough, you would lose a limb and get kicked out of the front door.
A few Tight arse tips to impress the lady:
Surprise Sex?
Small things go a long way. Trust me I have been there.
Cleaning the mess rather than having the missus cleanup after you.
Doing the bed in the morning then just walking off and waiting for it to be magically done.
Putting the bins out.
Watching a movie together that she likes. (Sci-Fi mostly would be out of it.)
Holding her hand when walking in public (Remember as teen when you would not let go.!)
Asking about her family's well being.
Cooking meals for a week including cleaning up.
Hundreds more, a lot can be done without spending a cent.! Just my 2 bits
Well I don't hear "sense of entitlement". It sounds like the missus is feeling a bit neglected and has been asking for some time for some extra attention. And since it has not been forthcoming, she's now asking for more regularly because she is feeling more unloved. Someone mentioned "love languages" before and it sounds like the missus is a "don't tell me you love me, SHOW me".
Anyway eastern culture I would be doing exactly what she asks for, and maybe when she is feeling a bit better she will feel like reciprocating.
Here's some suggestions
I don't recommend going overboard, just have things planned so you can choose whatever fits in with your activities that day.
Oh and if you read the original post it seem the missus is asking for more often. Not necessarily every day.
Post it notes with sappy messages on them, hidden around, some places where she'll find them within the first day, and also more obscure places so she gradually finds them all as time goes on, so they're still a surprise since they were all placed at the same time and as time goes on she'll have thought she found them all already.
Either that or surprise cutouts of Nicholas Cage's head in weird places like kitchen cabinets and the shower.
I would totally love if my hubby did the Nicholas Cage thing. It would crack me up.
I think I might do something along those lines for him to give him a laugh. Hmmm…who can I have watching him in the shower? Any suggestions?
http://imgur.com/gallery/Hcop2
Can't think of anyone that can top Nick Cage off the top of my head lol.
Also a stolen idea:
is to tape a mini cage head underneath the top part of a standard stapler.. When he staples something, mini cage head appears
And then there's these :)
http://imgace.com/pic/tag/nicolas-cage-cut-out-faces-help-yo…
http://themetapicture.com/never-let-him-alone-again/
Huge one under the toilet seat is good too.
John malkovich would be far superior for the creepy effect.
And what's she going to do to surprise him every day?
boobs !!
That would surprise any Male
Play Peekaboo ..see hide for good.
Who does the majority of the housework? You could try vacuuming or doing the dishes. Women love home-baked goods - how about muffins or cupcake, even a pre-mixed one is easy and tasty? Pack her lunch and put little note in to say hi, leave notes in her jacket so she accidentally finds it one day. Write her a mushy love letter (sickening, but works).
Text her in the day and say you're planning a home movie night in pyjamas watching a movie you know she enjoys, then make a date of it by making popcorn and get out a few munchies. I think it's mostly about effort. If you're seen to be doing something that you don't usually do, or are making some kind of sacrifice for her, then she appreciates it.
I do that, but i swap the cash for the post-it note.
Love is priceless after all. Especially when purchasing something ;)