Hi Ozbargainers. Looking for some guidance
My missus keeps complaining that i don't surprise her with nice things enough. I guess she wants me to do something nice everyday because that makes her happy.
So i seek guidance from my ozbargain family for cheap and inexpensive ways to achieve this.
All types of idea's welcome.
Let the games begin !!
Have to agree
how about if she is an apple person , do i have to jail break her after every root
how about if she is an apple person
Well that's easy.
Divorce her and make sure your half of the settlement doesn't include those sh*tty Apple products.
Totally agree with 1st part.
A root a day keeps the cobwebs away.
I tried the 'a-root-a-day' philosophy. My wife now hates me, and we have two kids we didn't want..!
Maybe you should have been a real ozbargainer and given her a buy one get one free whopper
She mustn't work at Dick Smiths or she never would have delivered :P
those OZB condom bargains must have slipped through your news feed eh?
In all seriousness though, some of the best "surprises" are free - a thoughtful phone call during work hours, a simple text/whatsapp message.
Else buy her a half priced chook from woollies on your way home, together with reduced to clear bouquet of flowers. Saves her from having to cook and she will love the flowers.
Here are some ideas from Reddit.
http://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/comments/21drvh/whats_the_b…
Also if you're half decent at cooking make her some breakfast. Get out of bed earlier than she does and surprise her with some hot coffee and breakfast in bed.
surprise her with some hot coffee and breakfast in bed.
You mean breakfast of champions
I can tell you're an avid reddit user given the fedora in your display picture.
tips fedora. M'scrimshaw
"the best "surprises" are free" my suggestion is to… hide in a cupboard and jump out with a "BOO" when she least expects it, cost you nothing and sure to be a surprise unless offcourse she has a pacemaker in which case it may not be such a good idea.
Forget the reduced to clear flowers I try that on my wife and she throws them in the bin, they look fine to me but she can tell they had been reduced to clear.
That's coz she knows you too well…It would be hard to detect the flowers were on clearance
Compliment her. Tell her how amazing she smells when you sniff her while she is asleep.
My misses keeps complaining that i don't surprise her with nice things enough. I guess she wants me to do something nice everyday because that makes her happy.
Out of curiosity, how often does she surprise you with nice things? When was the last time she surprised you with glitter eneloops?:p
^ this
that is just one way!
She probably does it all the time in her own little way and it goes unnoticed…hence why the complaints that it isn't reciprocated…
I started being a bit more blunt and obvious with my hubby and pointing out when I was going out of my way to do something a little bit special, it really helped him to realise how many times I was thinking of him and trying to make his day a little better and he started doing more back for me.
Honestly, the most romantic thing my hubby does for me at the moment is let me sleep in in the mornings - and I absolutely love him for it. He gets up with the kids and plays with them until he needs to start getting ready for work. It makes the world of difference to my day getting to one hour's worth of sleep without a toddler attached to me.
My misses keeps complaining that i don't surprise her with nice things enough. I guess she wants me to do something nice everyday because that makes her happy.
All things equal, spending time and affection are most important and most effective.
Surprise her by saying that you will no longer be caving in to her demands. :)
You could surprise her by doing the vacuuming/washing up :-)
Once done, it is never a surprise anymore and sometimes, even becomes an expectation from the missus and a liability on our side.
I've seen lots of women ask but I've never seen a woman actually notice or reward their hubby when housework gets done. It's usually more like "oh you finally did your share and expect something for it. I'm tired leave me a alone." even from the stay at home SO.
dangerous, once you do it, it sets an expectation
Surprise her by finalising all of those half finished jobs from 2 years ago, lol
Pay for a cleaner so you don't have to do it
You have to provide a link to a bargain if you're going to say something like that.
Its hard to surprise someone everyday.If you do it everyday, don't they come to expect it and then its no longer a surprise, is it?o.O
I have my own bank account and a joint one with hubby. I also have access to his credit cards.If I want something, I just buy it. I don't expect hubby to read my mind.So can't really help with actual gifts but here's some of the things that he does that surprises me and make me feel loved and cherished;
-when he leans over unexpectedly and kisses me.
-he reaches for my hand when we're walking
-gives me a foot rub when we're watching tv, without me having to ask for it
- called my mom to get her recipe of my favourite mauritian dish and made it for me. It wasn't even my birthday.
- I was away this weekend and he texted me a selfie of him holding a piece of paper that said "Good morning, Beautiful" I was ridiculously stoked by that one. Its nice to be missed.
-he leaves coded messages for me on ozbargain
-he adds notes in my task manager and I get little reminders in the middle of the day that says things like "I want to do to you what spring does to the cherry trees" which doesn't mean anything but I had a goofy grin on my face for the rest of the day :)
-he got the kids to help him with the housechores and to pick flowers , so that when I got home, the place was clean and smelled nice… on a weekday!
Over the weekend,he did something that involved hot wax and probably a lot of pain . However the jury is still out on that one . I can't decide if it was done for my benefit or for the ozbargain community's ;)
That's beautiful! You lucky one! :)
he leaves coded messages for me on ozbargain
The OzBargain Code
I don't know what this means but it's funny. Also hearing about wicket1120's amazing husband has made me decide to give up on being a man
Also hearing about wicket1120's amazing husband has made me decide to give up on being a man
Not sure what you mean.You obviously haven't read many of hubby's posts/comments on ozbargain. Trust me he's not perfect.Far from it :) He's also one of those over-sharers: I just came across a post where he's giving details about how we conceived our kids , glow-in-the dark condoms and all :$
He kind of makes it up by being very loving and lovable though :)
BTW,if you're seriously considering becoming a woman, watch my transsexual summer.Its a series that follows seven people who are undertaking a range of gender affirmation procedures as they make the journey to realise their true identities.
I actually don't like my husband "fully groomed ". He "groomed" before we met and I told him I preferred the man look over the little boy look. He hasn't groomed since.
I'd be interested in knowing how many men here wax. I think it is far more prevalent in.the east than the west.
I didn't ask him to do it. He wanted to do it and now he likes it.I've caught him admiring himself in the mirror a couple of times :) Personally,I'm an equal opportunity kind of woman. Don't really care either way.I'm just happy I'm getting some ;)
Man .. Waxing ? Seriously? There are more manly ways of getting rid of the hair. Try a Lighter. Bit smelly but very manly.
He is definitely cheating on you, every time he gives the girls a hit he comes home and surprises you
@eneloop, i didn't neg you… and no, he's not cheating :)
i believe you're thinking of autumn
"I want to do to you what spring does to the cherry trees"
Make you leaf/leave?
Blossom
I assume you work and he is unemployed?
We both work:him full-time and me part-time and studying part-time.
A different completely random food item in her bag every day.
Mon, apple
Tues, Ice cream
Weds, cheese toastie
Thurs, fresh prawns
Fri, handful of barley grains.
and a Partridge in a Pear tree
I'm just imagining a handful of uncooked prawns or barley grains tossed into her handbag. Surprise!
Monday — American Hot Dog with 2 cherry tomatoes
Tuesday — Twiggy Sticks with 2 oranges
Wednesday — Frankfurter with 2 peaches
Thursday — Chevaps with 2 grapefruits
Friday — Chorizos with 2 walnuts
Saturday — Cabanossi with 2 apples
Sunday — Bratwurst with 2 falafels
… And a partridge in a pear tree ♫ ♪
Her face when she sees melted ice cream in her bag.
Mon: Bread
Tues: Chicken Pellets
Wed: Pilchards
Thu: Tuna Oil
Fri: Squids
Sat: Ready to go fishing with perfect burly
Weekend: Durians
His and hers ozbargain accounts
Smooch her every day in a different spot. :)
I read that a good way is to recognise that she probably does a hell a lot more around the house than you do. Eg, do a fair share of the cleaning, putting things away etc.
If she feels that you takes all the things that she does for granted and don't acknowledge it (cooking, washing, shopping, cleaning etc), it may not end well … Well, it may end but not well.
If you haven't read about the 5 love languages would be worth a read.
Off the top of my head
Acts of service
Quality time
Gifts
Physical touch
Words of affirmation
People feel loved and give love differently,
As you can see from the suggestions already given. You could work out her (and your) main love language, probably gifts but could be different
Maybe try something special from each category for each day of the week and something special from get primary love language at the end
I actually logged in to suggest the same but see that berserk was quicker (tip of the hat).
I cannot second enough his suggestion "5 Love Languages" is a must read otherwise you might be just wasting time, money or both and both of you being frustrated…
Alsor read "No more Mr Nice Guy" and do the internal stocktake what your misuss misses or she just want to be seduced and pampered.
Agree. Find out what her type is first. You can both do the 5 love languages test online and send each other the results-it's free. This can lead to an open discussion..so you're not left wondering what she actually meant by 'surprises'. Maybe she can just spell it out for you or highlight the parts int the book that works for her.
And maybe it's not pressies she wants..maybe she's missing the romance.
Sweet post-it notes in unexpected places every day? (in the fridge, bathroom, etc.)
Send her flowers for no reason, and take her out on a date that's out of the ordinary.
I think the key here is not how much $$ you spend, but consistency.
Anyways, I think it's super sweet you're asking around and making an effort.
Based on this article, I'd say mine is physical touch and his is quality time. No wonder, neither one of us mind not receiving gifts.
how about getting her a subscription to the SMH?
this way she reads something different each day and the only thing you have to do is renew the subscription once a year.
hey she did ask for something nice each day did she not?
no need to buy just use google chrome in incognito mode…
"I love you so much, baby. Just hold down the shift key, now hit Ctrl and 'N'…ahh yea, that's it"
you mean fhm
If she's into Christmas, then do a "12 days of Christmas" starting Dec 13. 1 gift a day, simple gifts, eg a nailpolish, flowers, a new teacup etc. Plan the 12 days carefully, start small and end big on 25th.
This is an extremely good idea, and great timing, thanks! Another year without a divorce for me! A new record! (I'm not married but thanks for tip for gf)
This is an extremely good idea, and great timing, thanks! Another year without a baby for me! A new record! (I'm only 12 but thanks for tip for gf)
It's the full December. Not just 12 Days. Undies, stockings, lingerie, …. o wait that's presents for him ….
Something to think about try spending less time on ozbargain and more time being attentive, at least for a couple of days.
Its not always about the spend/save, it is about being a genuine compassionate person.
As an out there kind of thing that you could stretch out over many days how about this:
Compose a letter of how much you appreciate/love her and break it up into points.
Start on Monday by leaving a note that just says something like "everyday I am reminded about how much you mean to me".
On Tuesday leave a note on her bag that says little personal things you love about her like "how you make me laugh even on my bad days", Wednesday "your dimples when you smile" and so on.
You could leave the messages in places around your house that you know she will be going to each morning like her mobile, keys, car etc.
Just a thought which works perfectly for us ozbargainers as it is FREE!! :)
Youd be surprised what what simple things you can do to earn brownie points with the missus. Make her a coffee in the morning, sitting down and having a chat and listening to her, give them a hug when they dont expect it, shoot them a cheeky text during the day, a quick phone call to see how they are going. Simple things can mean the world to some women.
This thread is great.
It is a very positive thread too, esp once we got past the simple things that were still more about him than her :)
surprise punches
I remember reading something about a pizza box on another thread, forum post or comment here on OZbargain.
If my husband is watching tv and I'm not busy, I grab some lotion and give him a foot/ calf massage and/ or a hand massage. I also give him scalp massages when he is working.
I brag about him or compliment him to everyone. And tell others, in his presence, that I love him and extol his virtues.
Maybe if she likes a particular food, you could get that for her. Thi is particularly meaningful if you hate it.
Keep a water glass filled in front of her when you're around. Ask her if she has taken her vitamins and if she hasn't, fetch them for her.
Great advice - I love it when my wife gives me a lotion-based hand massage.
same same…
I love it when my wife gives me a lotion generating hand massage.
Yeah gotta say, your wife sure is real good!
I was a bit worried when I reached the word 'hand' but then I saw the next word was massage !!
Great post, voteoften!
.. keeping the glass of water in front of them might get weird!
I don't think so. My hubby drinks very little water. It shows I care,putting it in front of him. Its not something he'd do for himself but he knows I'm trying to keep him healthy.
Keep a water glass filled in front of
more like keep a schooner of beer in front of him
Pretty much everything that guys can't be bothered doing doing will make the wife happy.
Missus.
Future wife
Mistress
Get a different flower from the garden for her each morning…get up early to buy take away coffee and bring it to her in bed….go for a walk with her along the beach at sunset but don't tell her where your going …..
And my favourite… Do the dishes! Haha
Leave random 'love' post-it notes in places she will find them, like in your wallet
A good root is in order, then flash her rom to a less demanding/resource hungry OS.