First Date Dinner Date - He's paying. Should I whip out the Entertainment Card?

I finally managed to get a date with a guy who is "Normal" about money. Likes to have a good time. Doesn't pinch pennies, etc.

In a few hours, we're going to a place in the Entertainment Book that would give about $50 discount. The entrees are $30+ and the mains go from $40 up and up. Then there's the wine and the extras. He's taking a cab that cost him at least $50 each way. I'm meeting him there.

I don't think I'm likely to whip out my card to save him money. Not because I want to save it for future personal use, I just don't know how he'd take it. This is a first date. He will be paying. He's made that clear.

I just absolutely hate being in a position to help someone I like and not doing it. It is PAINFUL. In this instance though I think it would be a strategic mistake, in so far as how he perceives me, so I don't intend to do it. It could possibly embarrass hi, There are actually people who get embarrassed by that sort of thing and I think he could be one of them.

Would anyone here offer their Entertainment card under these circumstances?

Comments

  • +25

    Would you really want to date someone stupid enough to pay $50 more than he has to on the meal?
    The trick is, how do you offer without him feeling awkward about it…
    I'd just be really casual about it when its time to present the card.
    Hopefully he'll see it as a win-win.
    Good luck with your Monday dinner date.

    • +9

      "Would you really want to date someone stupid enough to pay $50 more than he has to on the meal?"

      Exactly what I was going to post. If this guy is a wasteful buffoon (a lot of people in our society are) but you are sensible with money, the relationship has a bleak future.

    • +2

      what is waste a money? that has a different meaning from person to person.

      • +21

        Not saving $50 when you easily could've is a waste of money.

        • +6

          That is pretty judgemental to call someone a wasteful buffoon for not wanting to take a discount on a first date at the risk of looking cheap. There is such a thing called pride, if that doesn't make sense to you then don't please dont try to argue my point because you will just never get it.

        • +4

          Pride? In that case I'd describe him as a vain and wasteful buffoon.

          I'm more proud of my frugality than my purchasing power.

        • +7

          OMG, please don't call him any names. He is very nice and thoughtful in every conceivable way.

          There are different social constructs out there. In my dating demographic, never has a guy accepted an offer to split the bill for a meal, except my funked up ex BF who was the biggest sponge on the planet. Dates may accept you buying a round or two if you are drinking. I'm older and the people I date are conservative. Even my friends are conservative. Generally if I am waiting to buy myself a drink and I see a man I know, he will offer to buy me and whoever I am with a drink. Not with the intention of staying and talking to me or getting anything out of it, other than just being nice and doing what they consider to be the right thing. It doesn't make them arrogant or a buffoon.

          I went to a function at the Weld Club here in Perth. That is an all man club. I saw the host and told him that I HAD to attend and see the club that would never let me join. He chuckled at me and said the two most important rules at the Weld Club were that women were ALWAYS welcome as guests and they were NEVER allowed to pay. Now some people might be offended by that, but that is the dating demographic, more or less, except for the arrogant, cheap, thieving buffoon that I dated for a few years. It's just a state of mind and a way of viewing the world. They treat other women in that regard the way they'd want their sisters and daughters treated. With generosity and respect, and without expectation. It is like opening doors for women or waiting to let them enter a lift first or offering to help them carry something or walking on the street side when walking together on a foot path.. It is viewed by those who do it as courtesy and it is automatic not planned, strategic or patronising. Some people consider it to be manners, plain and simple.

          So, please don't call my date a buffoon. He is just being nice. If he insists on business class, who are most of the people on here to criticise? A lot of people here sneer at lesser technology and are constantly coveting the next gadget even if their current one is adequate.

        • +6

          "OMG, please don't call him any names. He is very nice and thoughtful in every conceivable way."

          That's great. If you read my post diligently you'd see that I wrote "If this guy is a wasteful buffoon". That would depend on how he reacted to your discount offer; which we'll never know since apparently you forgot the card.

          Now let's address the rest of your post which despite being largely unrelated is quite illuminating…

          "There are different social constructs out there. In my dating demographic, never has a guy accepted an offer to split the bill for a meal, except my funked up ex BF who was the biggest sponge on the planet."

          I hope you have other reasons for considering him "the biggest sponge on the planet" otherwise that wouldn't reflect very well on you.

          "Generally if I am waiting to buy myself a drink and I see a man I know, he will offer to buy me and whoever I am with a drink."

          Actually, it's you who sounds like the sponge.

          "Not with the intention of staying and talking to me or getting anything out of it, other than just being nice and doing what they consider to be the right thing. It doesn't make them arrogant or a buffoon."

          No but it makes them sexist and you also for accepting it. When was the last time you bought a drink for a man you knew who just happened to see you? Unless you're just a wilfull participant and hence a sexist too, you should be paying the generosity forward.

          "He chuckled at me and said the two most important rules at the Weld Club were that women were ALWAYS welcome as guests and they were NEVER allowed to pay. Now some people might be offended by that, but that is the dating demographic, more or less, except for the arrogant, cheap, thieving buffoon that I dated for a few years."

          Again, this reads as implying that you regard your ex BF negatively because he didn't pay for you.

          "So, please don't call my date a buffoon."

          I didn't.

          "If he insists on business class, who are most of the people on here to criticise?"

          Spending money for something in return is fine by me. Everyone has a different utility for products and services as well as a different income. Now I'm mainly directing this at mattgal and ddmmh: But when you spend (extra) money for absolutely nothing in return that is wasteful and when you consider "pride" to be a sufficient return that is vain as well.

        • The ex bf stole from charity bins, nuf said? When he would go and donate, he'd "shop'. Is that sufficient? He stole from me as well. Is that enough?

          And I don't accept the drinks, but am delighted when they are offered.

          Your scrooge ness appears to be a judgemental attitude with chip as well.

        • +3

          This is what all the subscribers wanted to see!

        • Wow! Voteoften your post at 15.36 is the post of the year. So well written. Thank you, I enjoyed reading it very much!

    • +21

      Bit unusual these days to not split the bill on a first date (unless he knows, you're tight on money ie. a student/unemployed)…

      I'd just say, "I feel guilty that you're paying for everything, can I contribute by offering this discount card?"
      Doesn't make you look cheap, just practical…
      Could also provide a talking point if he's unaware (or has little knowledge) of Entertainment Book.

      PS: I'm pretty sure I used Entertainment Card (not voucher… I do have some class!) for every first date I ever went on…

    • +13

      Exactly!

      "Oh Hey. I forgot I have a discount card for this place! Do you wanna use it?"

  • +44

    Before you go in to eat, casually tell him you noticed the restaurant is in your entertainment book and would he like to use the discount.

    EDIT: if i was in his shoes, i'd be grateful to you that i saved $50, and will probably break that first date awkardness :)

    • +4

      I agree this is the way to go. Just do it casually.

  • +14

    This is funny! And cute. You're asking a very skewed sample though, you realise? Most if not all of us would tell you to use that card or at least attempt to. Personally, if on a first date the girl brought this up, I'd be very surprised and it'd leave a positive impression on me. Having said that, he's obviously prepared to pay full price for the meal so…maybe let him have this one, and if all goes well, take him back in 6 months to use the discount?

    • +3

      Yes, this is what I plan to do. Perhaps if I don't want to see him again, I'll offer it. I'm not going to use it, most likely. If he wants to pay who am I to argue about how it's done?

      Yes the sample is VERY skewed!

      • +6

        If you dont want to see him again, then i think its only fair to split the bill anyway….

  • +4

    The only awkward bit would be if he was already going to use the discount himself :)

    • Not likely. He is not from Perth, but is moving here.

      • +2

        Then play if by ear. Personally I wouldn't have an issue with it.

        I can understand why you would be a bit reluctant to though.

  • +45

    You realise, you are going to have to come back afterwards and let us know the result.

  • Kill it Girl. Just play the card when its time to pay, stand up shoot your guns and shout Yay! Yay! Yay!

  • +7

    Tell him that you want to pay with your credit card to get the points.
    Get the cash from him then go up to the counter and use your credit card or his cash with the discount.
    This way not only do you get a free meal, you make $50.00 as well.

    • +11

      Great. I've been here though. You definitely don't pay at any counter. And……what if he didn't have the cash and wanted points for himself?

      WTF?! Pay for my overpriced meal AND let me have the points as well!

  • I like kazumi's answer.

    Heck if he seems to feel bad tell him you bought the book as part of it went to charity.

    You never know it might give you an excuse to go out again to the next restaurant in the book:p

    I had this problem at the work Christmas lunch last year. I just used it for the main and bought a bottle of wine to share :)

  • +7

    I wouldn't risk it - I would save that for the 4th or 5th date :)

    • …and the risk is? She somehow appears to be cheap by association, or…?

      Not really seeing it, I mean, plenty of people are incredibly shallow and stupid, but I'm not sure why someone smart enough to use a computer would want to date one…

  • +26

    The only entertainment he'll be interested in is a trip back to your place and a romp in your bed.

    • +35

      Here's hoping.

      • Voluptuous and frugal, I like this girl.

        • +4

          Scrooge - I think you misunderstand the meaning of Voluptuous!

          Voluptuous, she may well be, but… well, it's meaning can be risky.

        • Spell it out for me Doc.

        • +3

          vo·lup·tu·ous - of a woman : very attractive because of having large hips and breasts

          http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/voluptuous

          Common usage would have it that Chrissy Swann is Voluptuous….

        • +1

          Umm.. no - it said "attractive", and she does not even have the right body shape, she is fat.
          No offense but in my dictionary, that person I would call "fugly".

        • The dictionary definition doesn't mention anything about large hips, breasts or any other body parts.

        • +2

          No offence and then you pull out fugly?

          I'm not personally offended, but using the ford fugly has every intention of causing offence to the object that is being described!
          I'm similarly not attracted to Chrissy Swann, but I reckon someone, somewhere (probably in a Woman's magazine) has genuinely described her as "Voluptuous" and that's why using the word is risky!
          It's essentially saying "you're overweight but have some attractive features".

        • Voluptuous is a term of endearment for someone that has extra weight and extra sexiness. That's what it means. Big, curvy and sexy. If you don't like voluptuous women then don't use the word.

        • In my eye's, it's not a compliment unless you are really close to someone cause it skates too close to the line of a backhanded compliment.
          Anyway the whole point is that Scrooge McDuck didn't mean to say what voluptuous actually means and now, if he ever comes back to this thread, he'll know for the future.

        • +1

          Scrooge - The above is most definitely the common usage these days.
          Sure back in 1800 it was more complimentary, but back then, being on the chubby side was considered attractive cause it meant you were healthy and likely to survive childbirth!

        • vo·lup·tu·ous
          [vuh-luhp-choo-uhs] Show IPA
          adjective
          1.
          full of, characterized by, or ministering to indulgence in luxury, pleasure, and sensuous enjoyment: a voluptuous life.
          2.
          derived from gratification of the senses: voluptuous pleasure.
          3.
          directed toward or concerned with sensuous enjoyment or sensual pleasure: voluptuous desires.
          4.
          sensuously pleasing or delightful: voluptuous beauty.

          http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/voluptuous?s=t

          I intended definition 3.

          But I take your point, the conventional usage differs from the dictionary definition.

          That's just like me: I try to pay a woman a compliment and it ends up being a criticism. :(

        • +1

          I am sorry.

          I saw Chrissy Swan shove food in her mouth on BB.

          Chrissy Swan != Attractive.

          Sophia Vergara is Voluptuous.

        • +2

          You guys are amusing. Having this battle over the meaning of a word that describes a woman… when you don't even have a clue as to what she looks like!

        • +2

          Sophia Vergara is beautiful, but pretty skinny, and not voluptuous.
          I went too far with Chrissy Swann, sure, Christina Hendricks was actually first to my head, but I wanted to make the point that voluptuous has a broad meaning and it's not always a good one!

        • Sofia has more curves than a Swiss mountain road - that's voluptuous. Chrissy has never struck me as having those contours - so I woulnd't use that description for her.

        • no, Chrissy is just fat. Not having a go, just calling it as it is. She's great though

        • +1

          Perhaps he meant to say promiscuous?

        • Yes but I thought that was a criticism. :x

      • +4

        No qualms about sex on the 1st date yet u worry about what he'll think if you use a voucher…definitely got your priorities straight :-P

  • +1

    What if he's also planing to use his entertainment card?

  • Make it the next part of the evening's entertainment ie: use the Ent. card, then let him decide how to amuse you with the $50 saved?

    If he pays off the CC he just used to pay for dinner, he's a keeper! ;)

  • Where did you meet him? Ozbaragin? Well splitting the bill makes more sense, unless its a special occasion.

    • +15

      How would I "meet" someone on OzB? The only way I can think of is if I saw some cutie taking a photo of a clearance sign and asking him about it.

      EDIT: I take that back. I have had someone email me about whether I still needed a BF to cook for or something of that nature. AND I am second wife to realfamilyman.

  • -3

    Save it. He'll appreciate you more if you use it later, if there is a later.

    • +17

      its a discount card, not losing your virginity…

      • As usual some people have dirty minds here. :P

        It's simply a matter of picking the right moment to do things. This is his night. Later on she can impress him with her frugality. That's all.

  • +3

    As he is from Perth, he will be used to paying a bit more. As a guy, I vote leave the card for the first date. Although we all understand saving that 50 dollars is the most important part of dinner, it could seem a little strange on a first date to "outsiders". Then again, he could be a closet OzBargainer as well.

  • Try it, i've got one also (entertainment book) Some say no others don't mind. Even if its a quick simple text it doesn't really matter.

  • The only bit of information you left out was who picked the restaurant.
    Did you accept going there based on your knowledge that the Entertainment Book would give a discount?

    • He picked and I said yes because it is a great place and PERFECT for a first date. Only later did I realise about the card being accepted there.

      He has stated that he will be paying fir the evening, so it really wouldn't matter if I knew at the time. My meal is covered regardless.

      • when is second date ? ;-p

        • +1

          In a few hours. I told him I wanted a night in. Depending on what he gives me to drink, it'll be a cheap night for him. ;->

  • +1

    i don't think you should be "couponing" on a first date

    • Just in case you reveal to the other person that you're not facile, naive and ridiculously materialistic…?

      I'm struggling to understand what you think real people are like…

      • +2

        Just because he/she doesnt use coupons/discounts on first date, doesnt mean he/she doesnt like to save money on other days.

        First dates are meant to be special. I know some guys try to impress the girl, maybe spoil the girl a little and make it a special memorable night. Using coupons or going dutch (when girl offers) might hurt his pride and make him feel cheap and uncomfortable.
        There's so many single guys and girls out there, if either one doesnt like the first impression, he/she isnt gonna waste time on a second date.

  • +2

    Well, it really depends on him and how you think he'd react.
    I've had the Mrs pull out the entertainment card when we go out (not the first date), and personally I thought it was great. Just casually pass him the card when bill time comes. Play it off as a loyalty card or something. Dont need to actually need to tell him what it actually is :D

  • -2

    just let him pay the damn thing, if i was in his shoes I wouldn't think anything negative but would definitely think that shes the kinda girl that looks for bargains, example uses coupons at hungry jacks.. lol just saying

    • +2

      And what's wrong with that?

  • +7

    If you broach it right you can have a bit of a laugh at your own "silliness "at buying a coupon book, and how he can help you get some value from it. Make it an ice breaker. Just make a comment about how some guys would be weird about it, but you're glad he isn't like that. And I agree on the referred pain when you are with somebody who won't take the readily available saving..

    As a bloke and OzB expert, if a girl did this to me I'd be on the iPhone booking a trip to the Vegas wedding chapel before I left the restaurant (discount airfares of course). But the OzB isn't quite normal, is it ;-)

    • +5

      I agree. It's an ice breaker!

      1. You got the book. Discounts are not to be ashamed of, unless you are ashamed of a part of you that you don't want him to see, in which case he should get to know the real you.

      2. If you both like each other, you just found something you can both do together. ie. explore nice places to eat from the book. Places you wouldn't normally go to or heard of had it not been for the book.

      3. Most obvious is he just saved 50$ that he can spend on you/each other in a better way than paying full price.

      How about at the date,
      You: Have you ever heard of the Entertainment Book?
      Him: No
      You: It's a book full of discounts at places ranging from basic to gold class, and this place is in it.
      Him: oh wow, do you have the book?
      You: Why yes. Yes I do.
      Him: NIceee. After dessert, let's go back to your place for some dessert.
      You: Niceeee.

  • -1

    Don't use it. Your post up top sums up the risk perfectly.

  • If I am the guy, I won't care those $50 saving, using the voucher would have ruined the date.

    imagine u guys walked out from some very expensive restaurant,
    and then the guy asked you to shake your Iphone to get some bloody hungry jacks free drink.

    totally inappropriate for a bargain at first date.

    All you did, is absolutely correct!

    • +11

      Why is it inappropriate?

      Because it doesn't happen in Hollywood romances?

      Too cool to save money? Fools and their money are soon parted.

  • +24

    I took a girl to Sizzler for our first kinda date. She thought it was funny and enjoyed the variety of food and light atmosphere. Certainly didn't think I was being cheap and 20 years later she is now my wife and still remembers it fondly.

    Use the card. No one is going to complain about saving $50 and it will give you another thing to laugh about. If he gets offended is he really the right person for you?

  • +8

    The question really is for you, do you want to date a guy that takes that bit o'pride and saves himself a perfectly good $50 or someone who's happy to throw it away… a nice little question and test for you.

    I know I'd prefer the girl to casually whip out the savings card and say something like, 'for a future bottle of wine'. Than again, I'm on this site for a reason :-P

  • +65

    Imagine if he uses OzBargain too and come the time for paying, he asks "So are you going to use that coupon or not?" ;)

    • +1

      ^LMAO^

    • +1

      LOL so worth logging in to +1 this comment!

  • +2

    Ok, so it's near 7.30pm in Perth and the date has started…. if there's no "my place or yours" then we should hear from the OP in about 3 or so hours…. looking forward to hear how it went (the entertainment card usage, that is).

    • +30

      Hopefully OP has mobile switched off (and not on vibrate) or will be getting constant auto-updates/replies to original post.

      Date "Who keeps contacting you ?"
      OP "All my cheap friends from OB out to save you $50"

  • +10

    I finally managed to get a date with a guy who is "Normal" about money. Likes to have a good time. Doesn't pinch pennies, etc.

    So no common interests.

    hehehehhe

  • +21

    You know you've found the perfect partner when at the end of the night they ask, "your Entertainment card or mine?"

  • +2

    Well, there's a man's pride, and then there's common sense and a $50.00 saving.
    I suppose it would depend on his socio-economic status. If $50.00 is nothing then don't worry about it. However, if he's a bit skint it might be worthwhile.
    If he takes offense to it, he's either a douchebag, or not an ozbargainer in which case he's probably not partner/marriage material :P

    • +6

      A couple that saves together, stays together.

    • Pride?

      Self-respect and arrogance both come under pride. Only one of these is incompatible with saving money.

  • Nights bill approx $400 total - less $50/12% - I wouldn't bother.

    Let him do it all his way tonight, you can do it all your way the next time (1st date anniversary) - impress him with your thrift then, but let him impress you with his gallantry/chivalry tonight.

    Now, if it was B1G1free would be a different matter.

  • +3

    If a cute chick did something like that for me, I would be thinking marriage material!!

  • +1

    Just wait till he joins OzBargain and sees what he missed. :)

  • +2

    $400 for a nightout in Perth? I am glad I am married before the prices went up. Lol

    • +3

      Forgot to add the nightclub entry & cocktails/champers, followed by Coffee and cake, a rose or twelve - all up $500+
      .. and either the Kebab on the way home or room service in the morning….

    • +5

      $400 for a date night is too much. go broke

  • +2

    Starting to get a bit creepy - this is like stalking - will he, wont he take the discount.
    @ Battler - What's the time in Perth now? Will they have they finished the first course yet?

  • +11

    $400, hasn't this guy heard of Dominos?

    • macca's delivery!

  • +2

    Just use the discount and tell him you can use the $50 you just saved to buy me another dinner.

  • Well i guess i comes down to if he already knows your an oz-bargainer. Lol…

  • +4

    So… we're all waiting to hear how the date went :)

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