Feeling Hopeless and Depressed at Work

Hello fellow OzBargainers,

I hope this post finds you well and hopefully this post is in the correct forum.

I was just reaching out to ask anyone about their experiences with feeling undervalued and maybe a little hopeless at work.

Sorry if this sounds like a downer of a post, but, the place where I am working at the moment, although it's not a complete nightmare, it can be unbearable at times (physically, mentally and emotionally given my workplace). So far it's the only job that I have been able to cope with for the last 5 years and while I am good at it, I feel that I'm not getting anywhere.

Lately it has been taking a toll on my mental health, I keep convincing myself it's just a bad day but it's not always the case. I've given up on looking for other jobs, as it feels like I'm kind of trapped here. I don't really know what I can do. I'm thinking about perhaps talking to a psychologist maybe to clear my mind a little.

I just want to know if anyone has had similar experiences, where they were afraid to leave one job because you don't know if the next one will be worse. I'd really appreciate any advice or feedback.

I hope everyone is doing good, and wishing you well.

Take care and kind regards,
TK


Edit
I really want to thank everyone who took the time to read this post and comment. It really has had a profound positive impact. Knowing that this is something others have faced and have somehow made it to a better place offers some hope. Just reading the comments has been helpful and has helped with formulating some plans of action.

I'm deeply thankful for everyone :)

Comments

  • +12

    Chances are your job sucks as much as most people's, but you're surrounded by a-holes. If that's the case, save your money for retail therapy.
    What job do you do?

    • +1

      Thanks for your reply. It's in the food industry in healthcare.

  • +24

    These days it's usual to change jobs instead of getting a promotion if you want more pay and new responsibilities to learn. You could forget about being undervalued, keep working there and enjoy the pay and the easy pace, and keep your eyes open for a new job that maybe pays more or has a better work culture at least.

    • Thank you for your advice :)
      I still keep an eye on our company's career website, so far nothing yet, but I'm still hoping.

      • +23

        Changing jobs usually means with a different company altogether. Get out there and look at competitors and other companies in your field.

    • +5

      You are 'family' until you get fired.

  • +16

    First suggestion would be to get that support. Go see your GP (or any GP), there are mental health support programs to get a bunch of free sessions and talk to someone professional. Talkshop were pretty good for me but hunt around to find something that works well for you. It's worth doing, it just gave me a few coping mechanisms but it really helped me disconnect from work and focus more on my life.

    On the job front, some places are toxic relationships. I worked at a place that used to say we were a "family", I should have seen the red flag. Getting out of there was like getting out of a horrible relationship, it scars you. But I'll use the well worn phrase, things do get better. The good thing about work is there's plenty more fish in the sea too.

    Coming from someone who works in HR, right now can be a bit of a struggle finding work, depending on what you do. If you're in any field that has a post-Christmas slowdown then it's hard. Happy to give suggestions on where to look though. Like every year, things go a bit bonkers in Feb/March because everyone who realises they hate their job goes and finds a new one, there's a lot of movement around then.

    • +5

      Thank you for sharing your experiences and the resources, I really appreciate it. I think I will speak to a psychologist about work. Maybe I just need to talk it all out. It can be frustrating and you're right, it does feel like a bad relationship. But even being able to read all the comments from people here, has had a positive impact so far.

      That whole "our workplace can be a family" spiel gives me shivers too… haha

      • +6

        Definitely speak with your GP as a referral may get you in quicker or cheaper
        But they may also run a blood test just to make sure everything is a-okay to begin with

        I’m a psych but don’t work clinical but would recommend seeing GP first

  • +7

    If you are in a large enough company, they should offer support or counselling in some form and it is a confidential service. Use it.If not go and see a trusted family GP, or contact online support such as beyond blue. Book a full appointment, take your time and talk it out.
    Put the whole job search thing out of your mind it's probably just further clutter. Poor sleep can exacerbate your experience too, so discuss all other physical impacts with said Dr.Good luck.

    • +1

      Thank you for your response. Even though our company has got a counselling service, I have sent a couple of emails over the years, being very honest with how work is going and the toll it has been taking, but I get no response from them, I'm not even sure the program is running anymore. I don't really want to ask my manager about the program and have my co-workers starting to think I have a problem (I know it sounds silly). I thought maybe I'll just pay out of my pocket and get some professional help. Hopefully things will turn around this year :)

      • +3

        My follow up advice to that is give them one last try by phone.And proactively ask them how much activity they have had in your workplace.If any. Either way go and see a GP BEFORE you worry about switching jobs. Get yourself relieved of some of the weight you feel. It's never as heavy or complex as you think.But you need a voice of reason, to lighten the load and face to face is always better.

        • +3

          Thank you, your words really help and inspire action. I will speak to my GP or another professional, and I will give the EAP another shot, and see if I can get in contact. I will heed your advice about asking if our department has had much complaints and frustrations, I have a feeling there will be. Maybe talking about these things, may untangle a few of my frustrations at work. Thank you.

          • @TK Deadwalker: They may not and probs won't go into specifics about complaints and other negatives in your workplace, but BUT! you are certainly entitled to know if they are actively supporting others and whether it's recently. That's not for you to discover how broken your workplace is, but to confirm the counsellors are worth the effort. More a product review, that a test drive.If they won't tell you anything along those lines, even in vague terms, they are probably just tyre kickers. The GP (full consultation) route is the best 1 step.

            • @Protractor: Thanks again for your insights. I will bear this in mind if I can arrange an appointment with them, but the GP route will definitely be happening.

  • -3

    Quit bro dont think just run

    • +2

      haha… It sounds so easy, I don't know why I can't just bite the bullet and leave. I've been there for a while and haven't really given time for anything else. I'm just worried the next place might be worse. Better the devil you know right?

      • +10

        I'm just worried the next place might be worse. Better the devil you know right?

        Ive played that game before as have many friends.

        Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.

        But one thing thats for sure is - its not going to get better where you are any time soon, so why not think about chancing a change.

        Personally, when i made the leap i was concerned about hopping out of the pot into the frying pan, but it turned out to be the best decision i have made in years. YMMV

        • Thanks for your experience friend. It does sound refreshing to try and jump into the unknown. I suppose maybe I will probably get some professional help, maybe talk about it and just try and make a change where I can. It's inspiring to hear that it worked out for you. Thanks :)

          • +1

            @TK Deadwalker: Also -By all means, regardless of what you decide regarding your work situation- see a medical professional for some mental health assistance too.

            Its never a waste of money or time investing in your physical and mental health.

            But if your work situation is unlikely to change and you have options elsewhere, perhaps they are worth exploring?

            If you end up with another bad company culture, move on again.

            Obviously depends on your job field and job availability, but its a possibility to explore.

  • +5

    i learnt one thing about working.
    The less you do outside of your actual job, e.g. taking on others' work, volunteering to help on projects, etc.
    the more you enjoy your job and the more recognition you get

    • +1

      Thanks for your reply and I know what you are saying, and part of me believes you are right. Unfortunately I am also a relieving supervisor, so I try to set an example about "helping others" and by not complaining. I tell myself that's just good teamwork and work ethic, but tbh it's done more harm than good. I feel like it's done nothing but bite me in the bum and just given me more work :(

      But your comment has opened my eyes and maybe I need to re-evaluate what my work ethic means and whether I should bear all the responsibility.

      • +6

        i used to be like you, i wanted to help people for anything at work.
        i got a new job where I make sure I don't know things, even if I know how to fix or do them.
        i just say "ohh maybe call IT" or "maybe ask your manager", or just "that's weird I don't know how to fix that".

        • +1

          You don't know how right you are. My biggest mistake was trying to fix problems thinking I was helping. It has just landed me with more work and just being used for nothing else. I'm actually the unofficial IT guy at my work place, and I hate it. However it has served as a good eye opener, about knowing when and whom to help at work. Thanks for your insights.

          • +1

            @TK Deadwalker: Thissssss. I never mention at all that i used to work in IT. Manager is having trouble getting the camera to work on a teams call? Sit and look as clueless as everyone else.

    • +1

      lol….. weird but true

  • +5

    I personally just say to myself

    ‘Just need to make it to Friday’

    Just another 3120 Saturdays to go, give or take, unless there’s a bargain posted here about affordable robotic augmentations in future

    • +1

      Thanks for the reply.

      I know, but sometimes Friday feels like ages away. Unfortunately I work the weekends too buddy xD, but I get the idea. I guess it's just taking one day at a time. One dreary, long winded, soul crashing day at a time… The bargains however do help :D

      Not too sure about the robotic augmentations though xD

      • +2

        Sometimes just surviving the week is ok too

        And like, it pays the bills. (I assume)

        • +1

          That's what I tell myself :)

          Another day another dollar. I try to remind myself just to focus on today and not get so worried about tomorrow or the next day, but I feel like it's slowly chipping away at my mental wellbeing. Having a series of bad jobs in the past, doesn't really fill me with any optimism about future opportunities, but I'm going to try and seek some help, and try and make a change. Thanks again.

          • +1

            @TK Deadwalker:

            Having a series of bad jobs in the past, doesn't really fill me with any optimism about future opportunities

            Maybe it's you, not the jobs? I have a mate who works in IT. He works five to six days a week, is on call many weekends because no one else wants to do it. If something isn't getting done, he does it. You get the idea, he's the office mug.

            Maybe you are in a similar situation. I think talking to someone will help with this.

            Good on you for dealing with your mental health. That first step is a mother lover.

  • +4

    Some workplaces have EAP, which allows you to see a psych for a few sessions for free. A few sessions may be all that you need. Explore the limits of confidentiality in relation to your company if you're going down that route though.

    Now that's out of the way, don't hesitate to change jobs if you feel it's having a negative impact on you. What if next one's worse? Change that too. Keep doing this until you find a place you're happy with. The unfortunately reality is, one cannot know for sure if a given job is good or not until one actually tries it. Most people are afraid of making these jumps and would rather be stuck in a job they hate because they don't have the courage to make a change. "Interviewer: why have you changed jobs frequently?" "You: I was trying to increase my exposure to different roles and broaden my skillset, inline with my growth mindset."

    • +1

      Thank you for your reply.

      I might try and contact our EAP again, but I'm not too sure they will answer to be honest and I really don't want my manager to find out about it.

      I guess the hurdle is about taking the risk and taking the leap. It's just the past experiences have been really bad. I even applied into a different department in the same company (it was a job I had been applying for almost 2.5 years). I thought it would be a good change and I was interested in that field. Eventually I got accepted, but from the first day, I knew it was a mistake. Although the job wasn't as physical, it kept me up at night. I stayed back and put in more time to improve, but in hindsight I hate myself for even trying to do that and putting up with it. That job really messed up my head and now I can't help but think that about every other potential workplace.

      Sorry for the negativity. It's just where my mind is atm when it comes to new opportunities. I really appreciate the advice and I will try and look into our EAP.

      • +4

        EAP should be an external organisation and neither your boss nor your employer will know that you have engaged with them. It is completely confidential.

        • +1

          Thanks for the information. I'm going to try and get in contact with them and hopefully arrange an appointment, but even if I'm unable, I'll book a councillor myself. I feel like talking about it, will provide some clarity. Thanks.

          • +2

            @TK Deadwalker: Making the initial appointment is the hardest part. Good on you for recogising and acknowledging that having a good chin wag with a professional might be beneficial.

            • +3

              @MS Paint: Thanks for the words of encouragement. I'd also extend the advice to others who are on a similar boat. Even expressing my concerns here and reading other peoples comments, views, experiences and advice has had a tremendous positive effect. I can't be more grateful to everyone here.

  • +3

    Been in this situation twice. Once was the first career change, the second, now.

    Sure, I dont think it's reasonable to up and quit - realistically we all have bills to pay and the dole is a living hell.

    But you need a plan. For me, that was letting go of the idea that permanent teaching would ever be a thing and using the contracts to build skills and take jobs out of the industry. I also joined a FB group (Ikr, but they have a purpose) purely for teachers to help each other change careers. 2 years later and while Im not out, Im in control and have a plan.

    I think, on top of all the normal advice for wellbeing etc, you should seek similar. Look for a support group where you can be anonymous and speak to others in your industry about transitioning out.

    Additionally, consider a career coach. I dont mean spend stupid money but speaking to an objective person who can break apart and restructure your CV has proven to me to be invaluable for those that use them.

    Ultimately, it comes down to circumstances. If you're 55+, you may end up choosing just riding it out with great holidays and weekends. But if you're younger, make a change.

    • Thanks for your reply and for sharing your experiences. I like how you managed to look into other ways into taking control of your career and looking into alternative pathways, I didn't really consider support groups from Facebook, so I will look into it. I'm not really too sure how I can plan an exit strategy from my current workplace, to be honest, I'm kind of fed up with this kind of work, but I enjoy the healthcare aspect of it. Thanks for your advice about a career coach, I will try and look into it, maybe I will find something within healthcare that works for me. All the best :)

      • +1

        Same to you.

        And remember - just as a teacher is more than just someone who stands at a whiteboard, the same applies for healthcare. Dont know the specifics, and thats ok but I guarantee you that your skills can be put to excellent use elsewhere 😉 👍

  • +1

    It's a new year, what are you hoping to achieve this year? What steps are you going to need to take to make this happen?

    It's time to be proactive. Seek professional help for your mental health and start looking for work. February should be a good time for that. If you don't like the industry then it is time to up skill.

    I think very few people are employed in a job they love. If you are employed in a job you don't hate, with decent pay and friendly people that's probably a realistic expectation or ba to aim for.

    • Thank for your reply.

      Although it's the new year, I just try to be headstrong and stubborn about trying to survive this place for another week, I don't know how I've made it this long. But I will definitely seek professional help.

      You are absolutely right, even if I had a job with okay pay, but friendly people and work that feels like I'm making a difference, it would help.

  • +7

    I have had a few jobs, and one of the things I found was they didn’t get better.
    I reckon work can either make you feel better about yourself, or worse.
    The other aspect is you can feel energised, or you can feel drained.

    I’ve spent my career working toward jobs that make me feel good about myself. I probably have a job that does that. Now I think about how to do that without it also draining too much of my energy.

    I’ve had jobs that don’t leave me feeling drained, but they also didn’t fulfil me, and they also didn’t pay enough.

    I’m now working on the trick of balancing those things in a good way. I’m not sure it is easy to have both a satisfying job and one that isn;t also one that leaves you fresh to do the many other things like family and hobbies and everything that makes a good life.
    I really feel like past generations had not easier times, but a better ability to segment their problems so it wasn’t as all consuming. If I look at my parents, as an easy example, they had plenty of money worries, but they had more reliable jobs, fewer dramas about housing, and more control over their lives - if maybe they only felt it - because it wasn’t such a constant concern.

    Not sure how to turn this into advice, except to say avoid debt like car loans or other consumer debt, aim to work a job you feel ok about turning up to each morning, and spend time with your loved ones…

  • Thanks for your experiences. I think even the jobs you weren't too happy with have still provided a wealth of knowledge and experience in what you want to look for. Also very sound advice towards the end. I try to live within my means, so that if this job gets any worse, I will just resign and have some savings to weather the storm until I can land a new job.

    I agree with your views on older generations, even my folks were the same when it comes to work. I don't know how they managed to do it. It feels like they had problems too (adding a mortgage and kids to boot). They just suffered in silence or maybe they were just good at compartmentalising work and life. To be fair it makes my problems seem small in comparison.

    Striking the right balance between a job you are good at and that doesn't completely drain you at then end, seems to be the trick.

    Thanks again for your advice and views.

  • +1

    I was happy until I read this post. 😔

    • +5

      I'm sorry :(

      I just needed some advice. I hope you can understand. For what it's worth most of the replies from people have been very uplifting and helpful and I'm very grateful.

      Maybe a joke will cheer you up.
      What car does a Jedi drive?

      • +1

        What car does a Jedi drive?

        A Toy Yoda? 😊

        • +4

          yep :)

          I see you've heard that one.

  • +2

    I’ve been in your shoes. I would start sprucing up my resume and buy a trial of LinkedIn premium and set yourself as “open to work”.

    Also using your EAP might help you. The EAP is a external company and no one will know you’ve reached out.

    Out of interest when was the last time you took a holiday?

  • +1

    I presume you also aren't in a position to change jobs? I live in a remote area, so they're hard to come by. I was unemployed for several years before getting this job, been here a few years now but within a week I had renewed my job hunting.
    The Wednesday hump is so real here…. if I can just make it till Wednesday I can see the weekend coming.
    I've found it helps to just think of how this employer is paying off my debt and getting nothing in return.

  • +1

    The job is meeting your basic living needs, but there are lots of other reasons we work - and this job isnt helping those. Dont just quit - but start to plan.
    What things are you good at? What do you enjoy? Think of the parts of your job that match this. What study pathways are there to head to more of these? Be realistic - some of the things you enjoy and are good at may end up being pastimes rather than work.
    I was in a similar position years ago, changed jobs then studied part time and eventually scored a great job. But even that had its moments.
    Noone has a perfect, sunny life. There are always times that are a bit cr@p, and we trundle through.
    To quote Blackadder ' We have enjoyed the finest meat and now we have to eat the yellow wobbly bits'

  • +3

    You're definitely not alone OP, there are many people out there working in unfulfilling jobs surrounded by idiots, led by donkeys and stifled in their career prospects.
    As someone who has worked more days than I have days left to work, I can assure you that the situation with other people doesn't get better, In fact, I have found it gets worse.
    I used to be surrounded by talented people who I admired and respected. Now my employer is run by a bunch of MBA-quoting BS accountants who don't even know what the company does.
    Talentless Muppets, the lot of them.

    What has improved (and this is where I am thinking of you) is my mental ability to ignore them all, get on with my job, which I am good at, and do my own thing well.
    Am not looking for complements or support, but simply knowing that I am doing my best while all others around try to enhance their own circumstances by brown-nosing, tell-tailing, gossiping, being lazy, boss-sucking, career climbing etc.

    Be at peace with yourself and know your abilities and strengths and stick to them.
    After all, it is only a stupid fricking job and really it doesn't matter that much in the grand scheme.

  • +2

    1 Find a coworker you like and spend some time with, coffee, walks etc. In my native language we say This world has kind people.
    2 mental health sessions are not free but discounted. Can get free support through extensive govt Beyond blue, black dog institute.
    3 attend local Rotary club to help out, there are various ages but many retired CEOs with connections and industry advice

    • What native tongue is this? It sounds like esperanto gargled in manuka honey.

  • +8

    I very rarely post on OzBargain, but this post struck a chord with me.

    I was in a job for six years that absolutely drained me and got to a point where I could no longer carry on. I could no longer enjoy my weeknights or weekends and work pretty much infiltrated my entire life.

    I decided to go for an almost an entry-level position in the same organization and take a 30K pay cut.

    The change has been day and night. Now I work my standard hours, not doing any overtime and I leave work at work when I finish for the day. It was a big pay cut, but my mental health was way more important.

    I look at it this way, if I had continued, it may have led to me having some sort of breakdown and losing income for who knows how long. At least now I have a regular paycheck and I’m still able to get by with more than enough money.

    For me, it was ensuring that my mental health came first and getting my life back. No amount of money can compensate for that.

    I sincerely hope things change for you soon. Try not to lose heart.

  • +2

    I just want you to know, as I find it helps to know you're not alone, I am going through this myself.

    I am good at my job, and its generally stress free. I see it as easy money.
    However, I dislike some of the people so much it makes me hate it. I have given up because I know anywhere I go there will be a few people like this.

    Its making me wish my youth away to get to retirement.

    I am on a few weeks off for holidays at the moment, and have been dreading going back since day 1. This system we have setup sucks.

  • +2

    Reading this post made me reflect—am I describing my current job? Toxic leadership and a lack of psychological safety seem to be everywhere. In small job markets, you often find yourself crossing paths with the same challenging individuals.

    Last year, I had a tough time and sought support through EAP. They suggested escalating my concerns to HR since my boss was being extremely difficult. But honestly, I didn’t trust HR to handle it effectively, so I decided against it.

    Fortunately, that boss eventually left. However, the role I’m in now doesn’t align with my expertise, and the company seems clueless about managing roles effectively.

    I am looking serious out for a job in 2025. Balance of having a fulfilling job and not surrounded by D heads.

  • +5

    A brisk 30 minute walk with no phone and wearing a hat and sunglasses when it is cool enough sorts my brain out.

    When out walking count how many birds you see and maybe jot it down then next walk count the birds again.

    leave the phone at home

    cheers

  • +1

    Hi TK,

    First off, thank you for sharing how you're feeling—it takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there like this. It sounds like you're carrying a lot right now, and I just want to say that your feelings are completely valid.

    Many of us have been in a similar place at one point or another, and you're not alone. Staying in a job that feels draining—mentally, physically, and emotionally—can be incredibly tough, especially when it feels like there’s no clear path forward.

    Talking to a psychologist sounds like a great idea. Sometimes having that safe space to unpack everything can help bring clarity to what’s really weighing on you and what you want to do next. It’s also a form of self-care, and you deserve that, especially with the toll this is taking on your mental health.

    As for being afraid to leave your current role, I can completely relate. It’s hard to let go of what’s familiar, even if it’s not ideal, especially with the uncertainty of what comes next. What helped me in a similar situation was thinking about small steps I could take—not necessarily quitting right away but maybe exploring new opportunities in a low-pressure way or even developing skills that could open new doors later.

    Remember, your worth isn’t tied to how others treat you at work or how "stuck" you might feel right now. You’re clearly thoughtful and hardworking, and that counts for so much. It might not feel like it now, but things can get better, and there’s support out there to help you get through this.

    Sending you lots of good vibes and hoping you find some peace and clarity soon. Feel free to keep sharing here—we’ve got your back.

    Take care of yourself.

  • +2

    I'd definitely shop around for a new role.

    Unfortunately the government has created an environment though that favours cheaper foreign labor over any much-needed wage growth. Basically anyone with a house paid off is a protected species who is permitted to continue to amass assets whilst those on the lowest rung can't get out of the rental trap.

    Australian happiness as a result is tanking and i feel its going to be reflected in the next election as the two major parties lose out big time.

    For the first time in a decade i actually had decent wage growth, only for it to be eroded by the increased cost of rents and any house on the market.

    The situation really is dire and Australians are just submissively sucking it up, the French would be up in arms and setting fire to buildings if it was up to them.

  • +1

    we are here for you always

  • +1

    A couple of humble thoughts from me:

    1 Get a career mentor. Preferably somebody not in your immediate team because it may not be safe or appropriate to be so open with somebody internally that might share your story, or make decisions about your career because of what you told them.

    Seek a mentor that actually knows their stuff. It's not enough that one climbed the ladder. Do they actually have good insight into themselves and others? Do they have a growth mindset? Do they want the best for you?

    2 Reach out to an experienced Counsellor. Your GP can refer you to a Counsellor (or a Psychologist if you prefer their methods). The best Counsellors and Psychologists have experiences in both fields, so work with various approaches instead of a one size fits all.

    A good counsellor creates a safe place to share your work and personal story. Many of the things a mentor will advise may come ease to you, but when it doesn't, that's when a counsellor can help you to see what barriers are in the way of you following advice you actually want to follow but can't.

    3 If possible/applicable, have an emergency fund. We all feel more powerful when we know we have emergency funds to resign. Even if we stay, we just feel more assertive and confident knowing we have options too. It doesn't have to be nasty. It's just having respect for one's self that you deserve better.

    4 Write down your strengths and interests. Initially do this yourself, but also ask a best friend what they see as your strengths and areas for improvements. But it has to be a real friend. A real friend who values and see your strengths, and a real friend who knows your weaknesses and tells you that only to lift you up (not hurt you or demoralise you).

  • +1

    My take on this is always going after the money, specificly the pay per hour. Long hours are fine as long as the rate per hour is fine.

    Even if the job sucks and you may cry again, wipe your tears with the extra money.

  • +1

    Well if you can do without money, quit. If you need money then stay.

    I work for a state goverment agency where the pay is shit, zero benefits, zero flexibility, customers are shit and people quit every day because it's just not worth it. Waiting for my turn.

  • +1

    Going to be that person… but are you looking after your diet and exercising?
    Mental health will suffer if your physical health is in the toilet.
    Sun, steak and steel.

    Do that. But also figure out what you want, then earn that role. Certifications, training, improved CV, etc.
    You're not trapped. That's all in your mind.

  • +1

    How much do you make?

  • +1

    Hey, I have similar feelings with my current role, but perhaps more of a flatness, where my career trajectory is, more or less, planned out and its just a matter of achieving each milestone. Perhaps this is what they call a mid-life crisis lol, but I think it runs much deeper than that, perhaps a consequence of living in a hyper-materialistic-modern society.
    Either way, I would say to keep hope. There's a good job out there for everyone, its a matter of having the network to find it.
    Reach out to contacts, people you have worked with and who have moved onto better companies.
    And trust your gut during any interview process, as being good at your job means you inherently know the red flags to look out for, e.g. level of responsibility of the role, getting an idea of the departmental org chart of the role, size of the company (hences resources at its disposal) etc

  • +1

    You are the master of your life, don't let the situations become your master. You need to take the leap, do not overthink "what if", just try to find a new job regardless. It could be better, could be worse, if it is worse, just keep finding something else. I learned that never expect the situations to change for you, you are the one who needs to find new, better situations.

  • +1

    I did too. I just left

  • +1

    The thing that makes unbearable jobs more bearable is taking care of yourself. Make sure you have a good support network and are doing things you enjoy outside of work.

    The main point of work in most people's lives is to pay the bills and hopefully pay for the things you actually enjoy.

    We do tend to spend a lot of our hours at work though, so obviously you would also like work to be as enjoyable as possible, or at least as not terrible as possible.

    So think about the issues you are having at work. Do you feel like the issues you're having are specific to you or some or is it the same for everyone or most people? You said you're not getting anywhere, where are you trying to get? Are other people getting there? If they are, what are they doing differently? Can you do those things too? If no one is getting there it's probably not realistic to think you will either. You say you feel undervalued, again, is it just you, or do you think most people are undervalued there?

    If your current workplace is not giving you what you need to feel satisfied with work, do you think other workplaces will? You say this is the only job you've been able to cope with, so with the other jobs you haven't been able to cope with, again were the issues limited to some people or was it most people? Not how people feel, but the experience you see them having.

    If most people are having the issues you're having where you worked before and where you work now, I don't think there's any real reason to believe anything will be different if you change jobs but keep doing what you're doing. If it's just some, maybe there are things you can do to make your work life better. Maybe a different workplace would be better.

    If it seems to just be how it is for people in the roles/industry you're in, maybe it's time to think about a bigger change.

    Speaking to a psychologist is good for putting things into perspective, it certainly helped me when I was feeling crushed by stress in all aspects of my life. I was having physical symptoms as well, I was constantly exhausted and in pain. It all lifted and I actually have a lot more energy and feel a lot more positive about everything.

  • +2

    Just sharing my 2c:

    • I was undervalued once—heavily (or at least I think I was). I had pretty much given up on trying. My manager (the same one who passed me over for a new role that I was already seconded into, where I was doing great based on results and client feedback) noticed this. She pulled me aside and basically said, in the nicest way possible, "Get your sh*t together." I'm thankful for that experience because it taught me to grow up.

    I learned that I either needed to look for a different opportunity or keep my head down and wait for someone else to notice my hard work.

    Funny enough, I outlived her tenure—she left after six months. A new manager came in, noticed my work, and gave me a promotion. From there, my career pretty much took off.

    Fast forward two years, and the manager who promoted me left for a new job. An external hire came in and passed me over for a promotion. I saw it coming, but luckily, a recruiter had already reached out to me, and I successfully secured a new job elsewhere—with a 40% salary bump.

    Anyway, what I'm trying to say is: don't be too harsh on yourself. As someone here mentioned, you might be working with a**holes, or your contributions might not be getting noticed. Sometimes, luck plays a huge role, and you have to motivate yourself to find another job. Maybe it's your company. Don't just focus on internal roles—explore external opportunities. A better salary and culture (hopefully) can make a big difference for your mental health.

    Good luck!

  • +1

    without reading the TLDR - I scanned all the OP's responses - it looks to me like a U problem - depressive, unambitious, then dissatisfied with the results - and really just needing someone to talk to - thus this here now

    most low-level jobs are crappy - and designed to pay the minimum in money and satisfaction - to maximise the potential profits for the boss - who Doesn't care about you

    nobody cares about you - is that terrible ? No - it's great - because you can do what you like - as long as it doesn't hurt others. It's a free country, etc. for you to enjoy. But no one is bringing you happiness on a plate. As an adult, your life becomes the result of your choices.

    the life lesson is generally to want to seek a better job - by changing employers if the co-workers grate on you - transfer if you like the workplace but just want a slightly different situation

    or be getting more training to change career paths - from reading 'many years' I'm guessing the OP has not explored other options and is just venting depressiveness about not feeling better about their crappy job and uninspiring life situation

    do you have a partner who you confide in - if not, that may be a social lack - seek out someone for regular face-to-face as an easy uplift in mood - if none, maybe look for volunteering opportunities - helping others tends to make you feel better immediately - just avoid letter enveloping jobs where non-profits use and abuse you for free labor - better to find somewhere where you interact with strangers - like free meal foodbank or such - visiting aged care homes - can make you realise your life is better than theirs !

    Short answer - good things don't necessarily come to those who wait - best results come to those who take the right action at the right time - is it time for you ?

  • +1

    Do you have leave to take?

    My solution to most of life's problems is a couple of weeks in SE Asia. Eat your way up the street with $2 meals and $3 beers, sit on a beach, smoke some herb if it's legal there, and the vitamin D and witnessing the completely different culture and lifestyle should reset something in your mind.

    Then with your newfound energy and zest for life, apply for other stuff when you get back.

  • +1

    Was reading a survey that people even when over worked are still happy if they are paid well.

    I havent had a pay increase in 2 years and I look after the entire technology and the people working in technology teams.

    My hours are fine, but I still feel undervalued. In similar roles that I see advertised, the pay is close to twice as what I am getting paid. (Unpopular opinion) It is hard to go for those roles - In most leadership roles I dont see diversity and being a non-aussie I feel there is still unconcious bias when it comes to hiring for high-paid jobs.

  • +1

    You aren’t alone with many things you’ve said. So stay strong until the dark cloud goes past. The only reason i’ve stayed on mine so far was, bit too overwhelmed with other commitments and lack of jobs in the market.

  • +1

    What value do you bring to the company?

    What value does the company give to retain you?

  • +1

    I'd recommend that you read "Unspoken Rules" by Gorrick Ng. There's a chapter with practical advice on how to deal with these types of issues at work. Trust me it's really helpful. Hope it helps

  • +1

    You don’t happen to have a mortgage to pay off and a family to support do you?

    You may not like the job and your colleagues, what makes you think they like putting up with you either?

    You may think you are good at your job, but are you really?

    Perhaps your contribution isn’t as significant as you believe to be?

  • +1

    Feeling hopeless and like you're not achieving anything is normal at work. It describes most jobs, including mine.

    I recommend seeking a side hustle. Something you enjoy. A passion project or a special interest. Work the boring and pointless 9-5 job for money, but pursue an alternative line of work after hours. I do, and it brings me satisfaction and joy when my customers are happy. Something my normal job can never do.

    Ignore the people who say they really enjoy their jobs. Very few people do. They're all lying because they're expected to say fun and joyful things at work. Keep your head down, work hard, and achieve your goals outside of work.

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