Unfaithful Neighbour Asked Me to Remove CCTV Cameras

I live in a townhouse with a shared driveway. A couple of months ago, a young family moved in. On my early morning jogs, I'd see the husband go to work. We made small talk and he told me that he often worked long hours and sometimes FIFO. A family man is a man I respect.

His wife recently confronted me about my CCTV cameras in the shared driveway. She said it made her feel uncomfortable and that she had privacy concerns. My cameras are pointed at my portion of the shared driveway and not into anyone's private space. With the rise of violent home invasions, my cameras are for everyone's safety.

I noticed the wife would sometimes have other men over. I didn't think much of it at first, perhaps a brother or a friend, until she raised her concerns regarding the cameras and I put two and two together. Are her privacy concerns genuine or does she want to discretely fool around whilst her husband is on FIFO?

I'm unsure of the outcome that she is expecting but she implied that she wants them removed. That certainly won't happen. Should this escalate, what can I do? Do I tell her husband and show him the footage of all the men in his house with his wife? Take it up with strata? Bikies?

Stay tuned.

Comments

          • +2

            @mskeggs:

            But "not illegal" doesn't mean fair game.

            ummm it totally does mean its fair game if its not illegal to do.

        • +2

          And I usually have a lot of respect for your comments and answers in these forums, but on this one, you seem to have a bee in your bonut or some triggered personal grievance over this

          I've noticed this as well. Normally their comments are pretty level/sane, but in this case, it certainly is some bigger trigger issue bubbling up.šŸæ

  • +2

    Do you have a youtube channel?

  • +3

    My course of action would depend on how attractive the wife is

  • +2

    Ask the husband if he knows anything about blokes comin over when he's away in a respectful way.
    don't dog the boys, i would pray that if this situation was happening to me somebody would let me know.

  • +11

    I just received confirmation from Mrs Muzeeb. Can you please pm a picture of female neighbour. I have approval, in the name of research, to see if I can identify her OF or Prā°nhub account. Cheers

    Edit: hurry up if you don't mind. Mrs Muzeeb will be home from work by 5:30 and I'll have to have the research completed before then.

  • +6

    Leave the cameras and mind your own business - you got no idea what their relationship dynamic is like and who cares anyway!

    • +5

      OP is trying to mind their own business, but someone is bothering them about their own business.

      • +1

        More so minding his business about this: Are her privacy concerns genuine or does she want to discretely fool around whilst her husband is on FIFO

        • +1

          Are her privacy concerns genuine or does she want to discretely fool around whilst her husband is on FIFO

          Considering they don't point at her townhouse and only OP side of the shared driveway, I'm guessing the later.

      • Exactly. Leave me alone!

      • -3

        To me it reads the opposite of ā€œOP trying to mind there own businessā€

        I noticed the wife would sometimes have other men over

        Reeks of stalker behaviour!

        • +3

          Reeks of stalker behaviour!

          OP didn't take notice of these 'visitors' until wifey asked them to remove the cameras.

          Honestly I would be the same, if someone asked me to remove a camera, I would start paying more attention to what they are doing.

          Its a shared driveway, not looking in their window. Honestly no different than if the OP got a chair and sat out the front all day long.

          • @JimmyF:

            OP didn't take notice of these 'visitors' until wifey asked them to remove the cameras.

            Thatā€™s an assumption you made.

            I noticed the wife would sometimes have other men over. I didn't think much of it at first, perhaps a brother or a friend, until she raised her concerns regarding the cameras and I put two and two together.

            This bit tells me otherwise

            Honestly no different than if the OP got a chair and sat out the front all day long.

            Hmmm, guy sitting on a chair outside constantly watching who visits his neighbours wife. Maybe stalker is too strong a word, but that Iā€™m struggling to find the right oneā€¦

            • @Never Pay RRP:

              This bit tells me otherwise

              Thatā€™s an assumption you made. They live in townhouses with a shared driveway. Totally not out of the normal to 'notice' people coming and going. Even more so when devs squash these places in to make more money.

              I live in the suburbs, in a free standing house, I notice what is happening around me without the use of cameras. Do you walk around with blinkers on?

              Maybe stalker is too strong a word, but that Iā€™m struggling to find the right oneā€¦

              So every person sitting in a chair enjoying the sun is a stalker in your books. Crap you better not go to a park!

              I guess you're one of those people that live inside with the blinds closed all the time.

              • @JimmyF: sigh

                You literally said:

                OP didn't take notice of these 'visitors' until wifey asked them to remove the cameras.

                OP literally said:

                I noticed the wife would sometimes have other men over. I didn't think much of it at first, perhaps a brother or a friend, until she raised her concerns regarding the cameras and I put two and two together.

                Do you not see how their original statement contradicts yours?
                In your assertion, OP installed cameras for passive observation and didnā€™t look until provoked.
                In reality they were already actively monitoring and noticed the number and gender (!) of visitors prior to being confronted by the frightened woman

                So every person sitting in a chair enjoying the sun is a stalker in your books. Crap you better not go to a park!

                I did say stalker was too strong a word, but yes, to me a person who fastidiously monitors the comings and goings of people visiting their neighbours (who happen to be a lone female) is a not doing the right thing in my book.

                • @Never Pay RRP:

                  Do you not see how their original statement contradicts yours?

                  Not at all, your assumption is the OP was proactively watching the wife. There is a difference between proactively watching someone vs observing them in daily life.

                  In your assertion, OP installed cameras for passive observation and didnā€™t look until provoked.
                  In reality they were already actively monitoring and noticed the number and gender (!) of visitors prior to being confronted by the frightened woman

                  I believe from other comments the OP made, they noticed these visitors before the cameras had been installed and thought nothing of it.

                  You don't need cameras to know what is happening, just like I know the place next door has 'visitors' today or the lady over the road spends 3/4 of the day in the garden every single day of her retirement. GASP I discovered all this without looking at my cameras or without going out of my way to stalk them.

                  Just like the OP, if someone asked me to remove my cameras, I would start taking a bit more of an interest in what they are doing to see why they want that.

                  At no point did the OP say she appeared 'frightened'. That again, is your assumption and trying to add spin to it.

                  I did say stalker was too strong a word, but yes, to me a person who fastidiously monitors the comings and goings of people visiting their neighbours (who happen to be a lone female) is a not doing the right thing in my book.

                  LOL OP isn't fastidiously monitoring the comings and goings. Clearly you live in some isolated bubble without neighbours if you don't understand what the general person can see on a day to day basis while living their life without practically 'stalking' someone like you claim.

  • +1

    I need to know, did she have the men over at the same time?

  • +1

    His wife recently confronted me about my CCTV cameras in the shared driveway. She said it made her feel uncomfortable and that she had privacy concerns. My cameras are pointed at my portion of the shared driveway and not into anyone's private space.

    Then let her know they don't look at her property, even pull up the video and show her to put her mind at ease.

    To be fair, having someone elses cameras look over me isn't nice, not saying this is happening, just saying.

    I have cameras up and sometimes what you think they are looking at, isn't what they are looking at.

    I noticed the wife would sometimes have other men over.

    If what you think is true is true, then you won't ever hear from the husband about this 'issue' ;)

  • +6

    Tell her it's for the protection of yours and their property too.

    And that you're such a good neighbour that you've already given her husband the password to remotely check that his family is all good while he's away! If she suddenly starts panicking, you'll know why! šŸ˜„

  • you know people with camera who are nosie and spy on others and accuse others of being unfairhful usually have something to hid themselves…..

    • +6

      With the rise of violent home invasions, the cameras are for everyone's safety.

  • -1

    OnlyFaithfuls

  • OP that was a booty call invite from your neighbours wife

    • -2

      Can't dog the boys. Bros before hoes.

  • +1

    Start a live stream and make money off it

  • +2

    youtube live streaming ?

  • +1

    Some assumptions there about the reason which may or may not be true. Either way, there are specific rules around CCTV but in short, unless it is pointed to someone else's habitable space, you dont need to move it.

  • If you want a peaceful solution in one liner—-Tell her you will discuss it with her husband and will do the right thing. I can assure you she will never bother you again..
    (you may get extra service if you are willing)

    • +2

      If you want a peaceful solution in one linerā€”-Tell her you will discuss it with her husband and will do the right thing. I can assure you she will never bother you again..

      Agreed. Her husband might then be like, "why is she so concerned about it"? and then his mind might start thinking…… and drawing his own conclusions….

      Then you capture the fallout all on camera, ready for YouTube all to see.

  • +1

    My cameras are in similar.position. leave the cameras there but just add the privacy black strip to the area on the neighbours property.

  • +1

    discretly tell the husband to install some hidden cameras on his drive way in a concern for his family without telling the wife and that you have seen alot of men that dont live in the area prowling around. don't let the guy wear horns for any longer then he has

  • Freebie or Dob

  • +1

    maybe she's an escort

  • +2

    Chat to your neighbour one day (the male one) and say to him if he wants to keep his driveway safe install a ring or eufy doorbell - that way you donā€™t have to say anything to the husband, if he chooses to install the doorbell to keep his family safe thatā€™s his own provocative. And unless the wife gets the boys to jump the back fence she will be done for

    • +8

      I'd recommend speaking to one woman in your life if I weren't so worried you would attack them

      Wow !!!

      What overt misandry in that comment… šŸ˜²

      • +1

        Wow my first jv reply, I'm a little starstruck

    • +1

      Silver lining, it's a good resource for letting people show their true colours

    • +3

      lolā€¦ i donā€™t think that word means what you think it meansā€¦

      Let me guess, you also call everything you donā€™t like or understand ā€œwokeā€ā€¦ and anyone you donā€™t agree with is a ā€œboomerā€ā€¦

    • +2

      Hah, typical misandrist.

  • +2

    Politely decline and move on with your life?

  • +1

    Poor woman, she probably needed some help from a plumber. Then probably some company from her stepbrother and stepfather…

  • +2

    I'd broach the subject with the husband when he is back in town, try to delicately say you have some suspicions and maybe recommend a camera he can purchase for his house as well.

  • +4

    Engage in more friendly small talk and offer him the camera app/password on the basis of communal security.

    If he accepts, you're free from future harrassment.

    • +3

      And he'll be free too!

    • +8

      This is a good way to deal with itā€¦

      ā€œdude, your wife approached me about the camera and invasion of privacy, and I wanted to let her know it was for my protectionā€¦

      I just wanted to show you where it covers on the shared driveway, and I have some great examples to show you. We have so many people just pulling into our driveway late at nightā€¦ like this dudeā€¦ and then there is this oneā€¦ and a few days ago, this random car just comes and parks hereā€¦ I donā€™t know these people, so it may be good for you to get a camera as well if you donā€™t know these peopleā€¦ā€

      • What you just described sounds to me like an invasion of privacy. Not illegal, just creepy.

        I noticed the wife would sometimes have other men over

        This is not the comment of a person who is passively recording just in case a crime or accident occurs, they seem to be actively monitoring the coming and going of people to another persons property, which feels bordering on stalking. Again, not saying anything illegal is going on, I just consider it unsettling

        Just my opinion

  • +3

    I came in like a wrecking ball!

  • +5

    put two and two together.

    and got 69

  • +2

    She is mad that you have proof of men eating her husband meal.

  • +2

    Tell her that you will talk to her husband first, lets see how she'll react.

  • +1

    In all honesty the OP has no idea on what is occuring. Just keep the cameras and donā€™t worry about the speculation. However, you might need to be a bit circumspect with what you are filming. A family with children might be a bit antsy if they thought you were shooting footage of their kids.

    Could be worse.
    https://www.newsshopper.co.uk/news/13375100.orpington-dominaā€¦

    • I canā€™t work out if my neggar is into filming children or visiting a dominatrix?

  • Does the guy have kids? Do you think she could be their step mom?

  • +1

    OP you've made an assumption and accepted your own assumption as fact. You have no idea what is going on in their life. That is only one possibility. Risk of family violence may be another. What if the husband had a meth addiction from all of his FIFO work, was abusive, and might turn up at your place one day demanding to see footage? What if he threatened you?
    See what my imagination did there? Neither of us know her motives for asking, and she's done the right thing by communicating with you in person.

    Also yeah nah long hours and FIFO does not necessarily equal family man any more than a woman having men over during the day equals a cheater. Lets not mistake imagination for facts. Maybe she doesn't want her kids on a random strangers video feed.

  • +1

    They have townhouses on fantasy island?Āæ

  • +1

    Mind your own business.

    Clearly her privacy concerns are justified.

    Stop noticing people going into someone else's property. If you can't stop noticing then take the cameras down.

    Perhaps you need a hobby/life besides voyeurism, 'protecting' the neighbourhood, gossiping/slandering (here), and dumping your 'morals' onto others.

    • -1

      Why are the most sensible posts getting downvoted…

    • -2

      OP was minding his own business until the cheating POS starting tell him what to do with HIS cameras. Nice to know you support cheating šŸ¤®šŸ¤®šŸ¤®

    • Funny been -2 and +2 with this comment.

  • +7

    You're allowed to have cameras on your property. No one has any legal right to make you take them down.

  • +4

    this is probably one of the most entertaining post on ozbargain for a very long time. +1 OP

  • +1

    Install a couple of more, including motion detection flood lights with camera. Bang!

  • +9

    Tell the husband that you were asked to remove it and talk about it with him on why you feel its not affecting any privacy etc plus its good for security etc. And you can show some random footage some of which may or may not include some of the men walking in or out, It could all be innocent or it may not be. (as a previously married person who was cheated on as well as screwed over in financial and other ways, I would want to know asap if anything was going on till finding out in the courts), you dont necessarily have to accuse anyone of anything, the husband may recognise the other men as family friends etc so leave all that up to him to decide. You are just talking to him about being asked to remove the CCTV and the reasons why you dont really want to and the footage can be an example of how it is only showing the common areas.

    • -1

      And what if those 'men' are the husbands family members coming to help out and he gets aggro at the OP? What if there is a reasonable explanation and the OP has just judged and shamed a whole bunch of innocent men?

      • Hence why the op hasn't judged. But just showed the content and the husband decides. But you have already got your agenda judging from your previous posts so that's cool.

        • Me asking the OP to consider that there may be more than one explanation is an agenda? How can you say they haven't made a judgment when the title of the post literally says "unfaithful neighbour"?

          My agenda is just to be a alternative view on an extremely demographically skewed site.

          • @MessyG: Yes of course it is. Laying out all the facts and letting the husband to come to his own conclusion is somehow a bad thing? Wonder how this would have gone if the genders were reversed. Considering on another post the first place you went to is the husband is violent and abusive….speaks volumes.

            • -1

              @lonewolf: You have no proof the husband isnā€™t. What happens if he gets told and beats up the wife? Will the OP feel any responsibility at all?

              • @try2bhelpful: I have no proof the wife isn't abusing the husband either, one thing has nothing to do with the other. So all that is happening is all the facts are laid out . No-one has suggested to him there is anything untoward happening. Funny how in all these scenarios it's suggested the husband is who is the one at fault. When all the facts seem to imply it's either neutral and innocent or the wife is the one who is doing something she doesn't want filmed.

  • -1

    Just tell her itā€™s the cameras are your other source of income. People on onlyfans have different tastesā€¦ driveway pron is on the rise

  • -2

    I'd tell the guy anonymously.

    But that's just me. I can understand why people like to keep out of the personal lives of others. Sometimes no good deed goes unpunished…. unless you're a Top G and people well know it.

    He needs to start getting all his ducks in a row and then initiate administrative violence.

  • +13

    that's a lot of assumptions you are making OP. she could just be seeing a lot of tradies through and getting stuck in washing machines

  • +1

    I'd just mention that you notice alot of men coming down the drive way that eventually end up going into her home and had many heart attacks thinking they were trying to intrude your property so often it gave you anxiety, thus you had to install a CCTV just incase… also say it front of her husband at the same time to see if he there is a reaction from him and voila….

    only using facts as as a way dig for more juicy info.

    • +5

      Why get involved?

      • because she's got a revolver pressing against her partner's head, except he is not aware. She could be catching anything from other men and then be passing it onto him.

        I'm totally speculating. This could legit be drug dealing on the side. It's difficult to know. There are a few tell-tale signs I'd look for though.

        • As I said why get involved. You have no idea what she is doing or what her husband knows. You really want to end up in the middle if this with both sides blaming you? You seem to be projecting your fantasies, and judgements, on this. Imagine if she goes to her husband and says you are spying on her and she feels unsafe?

          • @try2bhelpful: Just speculating.

            If it's drugs, I'd still report it to authorities. At least report something fishy going on, whether i knew what it was or not.

            I have no skin in the game, this is just shits and giggles on Ozbargain.

            • @Oofy Doofy: Sounds like you need a hobby.

              • @try2bhelpful: Are you relatively new to the internet or something? Genuine question.

                • @Oofy Doofy: absolutely not. I just think this sort of thing is a complete waste of time and space. Probably why I don't have social media accounts or spend my time on Reddit. I also think perving on neighbours and making judgements about them isn't particularly helpful.

                  • @try2bhelpful: I believe one should always be paying attention to their surroundings, their neighbours, keeping their eyes peeled and ears open etc.

                    I had a chat with A.I and it said to keep as many notes as possible, wait a while, then report what's been seen and heard, anonymously.

                    • @Oofy Doofy: Go out and buy a pair of lace curtains to peek through. Ya never know when one of your neighbours might turn out to be a witch :)

    • +1

      holy heck
      .

    • Pics or I call BS

      Sorry babe I slipped into your other hole, wow that's funny I have a sudden feeling of excitement, are we cheating on your other man now?

    • interesting, does she have labels on them to ensure her fidelity?

  • +1

    What the h.. I'd avoid OP's neighborhood for sure because : it's unsafe, neighbors are either unfaithful or nosy.

  • if a 'young family' includes kids, it may like this kid's misspelling in drawing a house - https://i.redd.it/kafz987mmfw61.png

  • +4

    Always laugh when people think cameras provide protection.

    Friend has an uber expensive and complex camera system. Still got robbed. Had some amazing high def footage of 2 completely unidentifiable peeps in black hoodies that was utterly useless.

    • That's because installers are telling people to place hidden cameras at waist height.

    • I think it's better to install laminate glass. What's the entry point?

    • +2

      It's just curtain twitching with extra steps.

  • You have a blackmail token, save it for when you need it.

  • Swap cameras with pinhole cameras.
    Or
    Say it's from her safety incase those "men" are doing something to her. šŸ¤”

Login or Join to leave a comment