I Disagree with The School Principal over Bullying

Siasia on 28/04/2024 - 12:49
Last edited 28/04/2024 - 12:57 by 1 other user

This is about my friend's son, he is 10 years old, let's call him Henry. Henry was playing outside during school hour with the rest of his class and saw another kid fell from monkey bar and cried.

Henry said to the kid "Stop crying like a baby". Henry's mum got called to principal office because Henry's behaviour considered bullying. Henry's mum disagreed, however she is not a confrontational person and wants to maintain good relationship with school and principal so she said she is going to talk to Henry.

She asked for my opinion and I agreed with her about the behaviour not considered bullying.

What's your opinion, if you are Henry's mum or dad, how do you handle the principal.

If you think Henry's behaviour considered bullying, why?

Thanks in advance for your input.

Education & Work

Comments

  • nikey2k27 on 29/04/2024 - 19:49

    Hopefully Henry won't go on in life to be a perpetrator of violence. look at TV at moment boy need to cry men need to have mate who let cry tell the truth go look at media the murder of women in DV. men have right feel right to be feeling not low point he need help his mate not call them baby perpetrator of violence. big hugs hopeful help your son to under this there is hope for him at this point

  • Maxi Pad on 29/04/2024 - 20:14
    +3

    Troll post is troll. No school Principal would ever say this. In fact, something like this would never get as far as the Principal.

    • bobbified on 29/04/2024 - 22:46

      something like this would never get as far as the Principal.

      In your days (and mine), it wouldn't have but the world has changed. Everyone's gone soft! lol

      • Maxi Pad on 30/04/2024 - 18:26

        Principal's deal with much bigger issues. This is day to day fodder for any teacher.

        • Daabido on 30/04/2024 - 20:01

          Yes, I was going to post that. OP has either no idea or has no principles.

          This is why principals have deputies and deputies have teachers. It's a shit remark to be sure, as is dealing with some parents. Mostly they are reasonable though and this would have got no higher than the deputy if a teacher failed to pick it up.

          I remember once going to see my son's year two teacher about something, was very friendly about it, looking for a solution and he said, "I thought you were going to tear strips off me."

          "Why would I do that? I'm first to my admit my kids aren't angels." He looked relieved.

  • Sneeze on 29/04/2024 - 22:51
    +4

    Whether the term bullying is appropriate or not is beside the point, the mum needs to address the inappropriate behavior now before it develops into something more serious that can't be so easily addressed. The lack of empathy for another child who has just injured themselves is concerning…

    • dmac on 03/05/2024 - 12:54

      🤣

  • haemolysis on 30/04/2024 - 01:42
    +3

    I don’t necessarily consider it “bullying” but a little talk about some compassion would help someways to prevent it escalating later on. Besides, probably not the whole story. If people stopped trying to ‘confront the establishment’ and just… parent their children… maybe we wouldn’t have so many schoolyard bullies.

  • idonotknowwhy on 30/04/2024 - 08:03
    -1

    Bullying involves a pattern of behavior. If it's just a once-off, it's not bullying.

    At least these days they call out the behavior, rather than labeling the child "Henry is a bully".

  • misterpotatomato on 30/04/2024 - 08:53
    +1

    OP has bailed after copy pasting the same thing a few times. Must have got exhausted.

    So, anyone seen any good movies lately?

    • Nuclearvodka on 30/04/2024 - 09:49

      Roadhouse was pretty good despite Conor McGregor's "acting"

      • Sneeze on 30/04/2024 - 12:30
        +2

        I felt his character was somewhat of a bully. Particularly in the scene where Jake Gyllenhaal's character fell from the monkey bars.

  • Dorge on 30/04/2024 - 11:07

    I'd be asking your friend, if they have ever said to Henry "Stop crying like a baby". He's learnt this from somewhere. Most likely a parent.

    It may be bullying depending on how it was said and past history. Overall it sounds pretty minor.

  • beltdrive on 30/04/2024 - 13:04
    +1

    Henry sounds like a jerk lol

    • Aureus on 30/04/2024 - 18:53
      +1

      Blame the parents who no doubt told him "stop crying like a baby", when he was younger.

      • Sneeze on 30/04/2024 - 19:03

        Or even one of Henry's parents to the other in the context of family violence.

      • beltdrive on 01/05/2024 - 07:09
        +1

        I will and I do

  • us3rnam3tak3n on 30/04/2024 - 13:08

    How do you handle it with the OP who cut and paste your son Henry because of what he did?

  • Saver Scott on 30/04/2024 - 14:34

    Definitely doesn’t fit the definition of bullying. (profanity) maybe. But not bullying as it’s not repeated attacks.

    • Nuclearvodka on 30/04/2024 - 15:20
      +1

      Yeah…
      Except that's not the definition of bullying…

      Definition from Oxford Languages
      seek to harm, intimidate, or coerce.

      So, yeah.
      Henry needs to learn empathy and stop being a little (profanity)

      • Saver Scott on 30/04/2024 - 16:22
        +1

        Kid definitely needs to learn empathy.

        Interesting Oxford omits the repeated component of bullying. A quick search then and the first four websites that state bullying is repeated harassment are:
        1) VIC gov
        2) Kids Helpline
        3) Australian Human Rights Commission
        4) Stop Bullying.gov

        The repeated part of the harassment is a key definition of bullying that is taught in schools. Maybe they define it differently in the UK compared to Australia?

    • pn09 on 01/05/2024 - 08:33

      From: https://www.pacer.org/bullying/info/questions-answered/how-i….

      Distinction about amount and duration: Many definitions indicate that bullying is repeated or chronic with the behavior directed at an individual over a period of time. However, the reality is that bullying can also be circumstantial, the result of a single situation, such as a social media post reaching thousands.

  • JimmieDimmick on 30/04/2024 - 15:31

    TLDR

    OFFICIAL VERDICT: NOT BULLYING

  • martismo on 30/04/2024 - 17:09
    +1

    Here is the Australian school's definition of bullying from the BullyingNoWay website (https://bullyingnoway.gov.au/understanding-bullying).
    " Bullying is an ongoing and deliberate misuse of power in relationships through repeated verbal, physical and/or social behaviour that intends to cause physical, social and/or psychological harm. It can involve an individual or a group misusing their power, or perceived power, over one or more persons who feel unable to stop it from happening. Bullying can happen in person or online, via various digital platforms and devices and it can be obvious (overt) or hidden (covert). Bullying behaviour is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time (for example, through sharing of digital records). Bullying of any form or for any reason can have immediate, medium and long-term effects on those involved, including bystanders. Single incidents and conflict or fights between equals, whether in person or online, are not defined as bullying."

    The incident you describe is not bullying but could definitely be called mean on purpose and so is unacceptable. It could be bullying if Henry has a history of making belittling comments to the other child.
    I would think the consequence would be a bit of re-education to elicit a better response from Henry next time.

    • Daabido on 30/04/2024 - 20:05

      Re-education:The beatings will continue until morale improves? How many fingers am I holding up?

  • UFO on 30/04/2024 - 23:00
    +4

    If Henry said "stop crying like a baby"… and no one else could hear it, it would still be mocking someone when they are clearly hurt.

    But what's the bet dear old mum hasn't passed on the whole story, and darling innocent Henry DIDN'T say it in private, but did so in front of others… and did it so there would be public shaming of the kid crying?

    That IS bullying. At bare minimum is a complete lack of any sympathy to laugh at someone else's misfortune… but to laugh at someone else is in pain is mentally unstable.

    I have 3 kids… all around 10. If I caught them laughing at someone who's fallen off a monkey bar and crying, you can bet they'd hear it from me!
    The fact darling Henry has done this and the parents don't even get why it's wrong, is a massive red flag that they are crap parents… and no question darling Henry is known to the school as a bad egg.

    Those here supporting psycho mum and son need a wake up call, and fast.

  • Kranbone on 30/04/2024 - 23:30
    +1

    "Henry" may not be a bully but he sounds like a jerk. Imagine in 20 years "Henry" is driving a car and slams into a tree, someone walks by and says "Stop crying like a baby"…

  • MrFrugalSpend on 01/05/2024 - 00:36
    +1

    FFS - everyone involved here needs to try stop solving the kids problems for them. Helicoptering…

    The principal, and the parents / OP, everyone.

    These kids will grow up with no resilience, not knowing how to handle any difficult situation on their own, and will end up feeling "offended" and whinge all the time, and having to post online about it to get advice and feel offended… oh, wait… I see what happened here.

    …
    …

    However, that aside, if the parents are consulted on something from the school, should be able to cope with guiding advice without getting offended on behalf of their kid. Stop trying to justify it and defend / solve everything for your kid. Sometimes they need some tough love / guiding learnings.

    Sure the teachers probably overreacted a bit elevating to parents - without it becoming a repeat trend I wouldn't exactly call it bullying. Rather the teachers could say a guiding word to the kid for learning like "xyz is hurt, you would be upset if you are hurt, perhaps you should show some compassion" then move on - hopefully the kid has a think, doesn't like being a jerk, and learns some compassion. It's an overreaction to elevate to get the parents involved or take it any further to solve everyone's problems unless the aim is to work on something positive like building that compassion - (hmm…perhaps that should be the focus instead of complaining and planning to deal with the principal?).

    The kid injured should probably be able to tolerate being told by to stop crying like a baby and recognise him for just being a jerk in the situation - better yet, the teacher could give a guiding word to him that OP's friend's kid is just being a jerk and to not take it to heart… learn to cope. There's plenty of jerks in the world from time to time, learn to deal with it sooner rather than later.

    • OBEY YOUR MASTERS on 01/05/2024 - 06:15
      +1

      Perfect (with the exception of your kid being targetted by one or more kids for actual predatory behaviour)

  • pragmaticguy on 01/05/2024 - 10:31

    Not bullying, but shitty attitude and uncalled opinion. My conversation with my kid would probably be "its better to be kind in this sort of scenario, if you genuinely feel like it. alternatively, if you have nothing good to say, at least shut up and keep it to yourself".

  • tikei on 01/05/2024 - 11:05
    +1

    Schools don't ask to see parents on one time things like that. It's trouble for them, they're not doing it for fun.
    Clearly Henry has consistently mistreated his peers. With repeated behaviour, the school deems it necessary (even if troublesome) to talk with the parents.

  • Dirk36 on 01/05/2024 - 12:30

    How you handle the principal is stick to your guns, be polite yet forthright in your conviction. Educated people within the public sphere are like leeches and love to manipulate people. Sadly in todays education environment you rarely make school principal unless you know how to manipulate the system and passive aggressively bully others! That is just the make up of the system! By the way for any teachers about to flip or the worst teachers or principles partners I myself was a teacher! Once again stick to your guns and dont become emotional when dealing with the principal! They will roll out studies to back what they are saying even passive aggressively not directly but label you as something or even worse try guilt shame you about the results of such "bullying". Good luck you will need it!

  • Orpheon on 01/05/2024 - 15:18

    Having no idea of the history between this kid and Henry, best case scenario is that this is Henry's first interaction with the kid and displayed behaviour that is not acceptable. Not exactly bullying, but still not acceptable behaviour.

    Worst case scenario is that there is a history of these interactions, which would place this firmly in the bullying category.

  • aboogee on 01/05/2024 - 15:57
    +1

    People can choose to be soft, its entirely their choice
    Tell Henry's mum that Henry didn't do anything wrong, though he could choose to be nicer.
    Also, tell Henry's mum to move on, because she can't call this petty and be angry with petty stuff at the same time.

  • DrScavenger on 01/05/2024 - 17:03

    Yes, it is bullying. But most importantly, where is poll?

  • ContinuousCustomer on 01/05/2024 - 20:04
    +1

    Henry is not bullying, he is kind of a dick.
    He should have asked if he is ok. But he is little so these things happen, his mum should talk to him and case closed.

  • ShaneWSmith on 02/05/2024 - 08:00

    Belittling someone in a public setting while they're in pain? Yeah, this is bullying.

    The right response here is not to 'handle the principal', it's to parent Henry and encourage more empathy from him.

  • charmed_tiger6 on 02/05/2024 - 09:06

    Wow, there mustn’t be much going on at this school if that made it to the principal who then called the parent. That or there is much more going on that hasn’t been shared…
    Even if you don’t agree that it’s bullying, the kid should have it explained to him that it’s comes across as mean and to think about how he would feel if the situation was reversed.

  • Fredfloresjr on 02/05/2024 - 10:41
    -2

    No wonder why kids these days are Divas.

    Can't see anything wrong here aside from the Principal making this big deal.

Login or Join to leave a comment
Login Join