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Colonic Hydrotherapy for Just $59 – Usually $139! - Scoopon - Cheltnam Vic

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The ultimate spring clean!

You’ve hosed down the car and vacuumed, swept and polished the house – what’s the next target on your spring cleaning task list?

Feel refreshed and full of energy again with closed colonic hydrotherapy that will cleanse your body from the inside out and flush harmful toxins from your digestive system.

Enjoy the Incredible Effects of a Complete Bowel Detox in a Discreet & Comfortable Environment! Discover Increased Energy, Accelerate Weight Loss & Nutrient Absorption Plus Reduce Stress, Improve Digestive Function & Lots More!

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  • +10

    For the true ozbargainer

    build and do it yourself

    by building it yourself you have your own device you can use anytime you want and
    can do it privately in your own home without embarassment

    Just need the following

    -A water carton/ or use a wine carton/with controllable nozzle
    -Garden host cut to desired length
    -syringe

    IT's pretty easy to build..

    Cut the syringe end off, so you plug it into the hose
    Insert other end of hose to the wine carton nozzle or drill hole in the lid of a water cartoon
    Put some water + coffee or whatever liquid you want into wine carton bag .

    Place carton on an elevated spot in the bathroom so the gravity cause the water to flow out
    Go into the shower and squat
    Insert syringe into your hole

    Now you can give yourself free colonics all year round.

    • You can actually get DIY colonic kits …. Dawn Porter did a "cancer diet" on one of her shows, which involved giving herself a coffee colonic every morning.

      One of the strangest things I've ever heard of..

      • +1

        douche

        • +1

          +1 for the double meaning !

    • then just rinse and repeat

  • +12

    So during the hydrotherapy, will they let you browse OzBargain with your Ainol tablet?

  • +10

    shit deal. this is much better. http://www.ozbargain.com.au/node/83005

  • -7

    vote if you think

    this deal stinks!

  • +1

    I would rather spend my money on a brand new ainol.

  • +1

    No need to get anal

    BTW
    They give you a free prostate check

    • -1

      I will not turn a brown eye to this

  • Hose up the bum.
    Same/same, free.

    • Don't be such a tight ass :)

      • IDEA 2.
        Just wait for Mardi Gras.

  • +1

    I remember that scene in LA Story well - "Doesn't it just clear our your mind?" bounces the hippy Californian Sarah Jessica Parker AKA SanDeE. "Are you sure they put it in the right end?" asks the cynical Steve Martin.

  • +16

    It is dangerous quackery .

    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9252839

      • +5

        Acupuncture IS quackery dude.

        Negging for pseudoscience - non-evidence based, false claims.

        • +9

          but they say laughter is the best medicine and even before clicking the link i knew it was going to be an awesome thread.

      • Acupuncture is just quackery with the benefit of antiquity. It should be put on the same shelf as 'power' bracelets, snake oil, crystal therapy and colon cleansing… which gets bonus points for involving your asshole.

      • +2

        at least one randomised double-blinded placebo controlled study showed acupuncture to be ineffective.

        how they inserted a 'placebo' needle into someone, i don't know (and i don't know how a normal acupuncture needle feels)

        I know many people who have had success with it.
        If I'm every in a world of hurt then I will probably try it.. there's no harm in doing so.

        However, as someone pointed out, there may be harm in this sort of cleansing, if it hurts good bacteria.
        Having said that, I don't see how any bacteria in the colon can really matter (good or bad) as this is past the digestive section of the gi tract?

        I know a number of people that go to to thailand and have colonic cleansing and swear by it.
        But maybe it's the trip to Koh Samui, in the hut by the beach, that is really doing the healing.

      • -2

        -> Stripe

        Well, I've seen people who've had success with accupuncture so I can't agree with you on false claims etc.

        We're allowed to claim accupuncture, depending on what health insurance you have, after the government looked into it.

        So … do I listen to the results of research and "evidence based claims" or do I listen to Stripe?


        Just in case we don't have to worry, when we're in the hands of doctors and pharmacy, here's just 2 of 100's of possible reminders …

        Dr Patel, formerly a director of surgery in a Bundaberg hospital?

        There's an investigation after Roche failed to report 15,000 deaths that occurred after 80,000 adverse reactions.


        As for colonics, I don't know anyone who's tried them nor of studies to prove one way or the other so I won't comment on that. (Nor have I gone looking for them nor have I any intention to look for them)

        • i have seen people who claimed success in those footbath things that are supposed to draw oil out of feet. youtube did it on a carrot. the oil isnt coming from your feet it comes out of the machine they put in the water.

      • they also said acupuncture was quackery before..

        i believe it still is :)

        • +1

          -> Matt

          Accupuncture is endorsed by the Australian government … link to the medicalboard.gov.au

          Are you endorsed by the Australian government? :P

        • Now there's a tragedy of bollocks.

        • +1

          foundit: That link does not state that acupuncture itself is endorsed by the government, but rather than if one were to call oneself an "acupuncturist", one would need to be endorsed. It does not appear to make a claim on the efficacy of acupuncture; instead, it looks to be more of a regulatory precaution.

        • It does not appear to make a claim on the efficacy of acupuncture; instead, it looks to be more of a regulatory precaution.

          Precisely.

          Simple pubic policy motive: regulate them so you can keep tabs on them so they can do less harm. We try to do the same thing with prostitution…

  • +2
  • +1

    Can I get a back, sack and crack wax as well??

  • Just $59 – Usually $139!

    you're sh!77ing me!

  • -8

    this deal is totally homophobic

  • +1

    Ehhh it's just a pain in the ass

  • +3

    does nothing beneficial. destroys useful bacteria colonies in your colon. waste of money.

  • While I appreciate that the OP was being thoughtful.

    Procedure at best wastes your money.

    • I thought at best it was a cure for anal retention ;)

  • +2

    Problems that I have with this promotion:

    "Enjoy the Incredible Effects of a Complete Bowel Detox in a Discreet & Comfortable Environment! Discover Increased Energy, Accelerate Weight Loss & Nutrient Absorption Plus Reduce Stress, Improve Digestive Function & Lots More!" - Not once did they say MAY HELP. I think thats just opening themselves up for a lawsuit since it is undoubtedly not going to work.

    "Nurse and naturopath will be on hand and your practitioner will offer lots of advice" - I'm pretty sure my butcher can give me better advice…

  • if you want to wash out you bum/rectum/colon etc, why not just buy a fleet enema (or the like) from the chemist for 6.95

    though - I should add - for medicolegal reasons - please consult your dr 1st before trying
    (either to tell you that you are mad, or because enemas can cause massive fluid/salt shifts and may be harmful to you)

  • +2

    Regardless of whether it is quackery or not, it may still be the cheapest out there and if it is, it is a bargain.

    Not sure how alternative therapy is able to be negged because the is no scientific evidence it is effective, yet if I negged a koorong thread for the same reason and gave an explanation why, I would cop a warning/short term ban.

    Edit: FYI, I am religious myself, and this isn't about religious beliefs being valid or not, I am just wondering why there is the double standard.

    • Prolly cos Scotty posts most of the Koorong bargains here :P

    • +1

      AFAIC both ought to be freely neggable for that very reason.

    • Regardless of whether it is quackery or not, it may still be the cheapest out there and if it is, it is a bargain.

      i can sell you cheap magic beans, 50% off what i usually sell them for. doesn't mean it is a bargain though …

      Not sure how alternative therapy is able to be negged because the is no scientific evidence it is effective

      are you sure you wouldn't like to buy some magic beans from me?

      they the ones making therapeutic claims. the onus is on them to provide some evidence that it actually works. there are potential health risks from the procedure. you want to be sure it actually works don't you? from http://www.quackwatch.com/01QuackeryRelatedTopics/gastro.htm… :

      "Colonic irrigation, which also can be expensive, has considerable potential for harm. The process can be very uncomfortable, since the presence of the tube can induce severe cramps and pain. If the equipment is not adequately sterilized between treatments, disease germs from one person's large intestine can be transmitted to others. Several outbreaks of serious infections have been reported, including one in which contaminated equipment caused amebiasis in 36 people, 6 of whom died following bowel perforation [7-9]. Cases of heart failure (from excessive fluid absorption into the bloodstream) and electrolyte imbalance have also been reported [10]. Direct rectal perforation has also been reported [11]. Yet no license or training is required to operate a colonic-irrigation device. In 1985, a California judge ruled that colonic irrigation is an invasive medical procedure that may not be performed by chiropractors and the California Health Department's Infectious Disease Branch stated: "The practice of colonic irrigation by chiropractors, physical therapists, or physicians should cease. Colonic irrigation can do no good, only harm." The National Council Against Health Fraud agrees [12]. "

      sounds good doesn't it

      • If they are the cheapest magic beans that money can buy, then feel free to post them.

        It is also extremely rude to quote half a sentence without the other half, especially if the other half provides the context.

      • -1

        sounds good doesn't it

        The Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA) Vol 284, No 4, July 26th 2000, authored by Dr Barbara Starfield, MD, MPH, of the Johns Hopkins School of Hygiene and Public Health.

        106,000 deaths from FDA-approved prescription medications.
        80,000 Infections in hospitals
        45,000 Other errors in hospitals
        12,000 Unnecessary surgery
        7,000 Medication errors in hospitals
        250,000 Total deaths per year from iatrogenic* causes

        That sounds like a good reason to avoid US medical system to me.

        • Thats a bit of a silly statement. Take this into account.

          1. How many people would have died without any FDA approved medication, or any medication that has come as a result of scientific progress.
          2. How many people would have died without surgery.
          3. How many people would be dying if they sought natural medicine instead of actual medicine. "Whats that, you are having a heart attack? have some sage".
          4. 45,000 decisions may have been errors, how many decisions were made in total? Lets just say one hundred million in total. Less than 1% fail rate with plenty of room to spare.
          5. It's pretty clear you have googled this and done a copy and paste job because you have an asterisk with no reference.

          The irony is, is that this woman died as a result of the side effects of medication, which she was an authority on…. and she still decided to take the medication knowing better than anyone else the dangers. Does that not say something to you?

          Heres a clip which demonstrates how insane it is to even consider natural medicine over actual medicine.

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oj-kyFJuk2Q

        • Thats a bit of a silly statement.

          Not at all. It merely highlights that there is failures in both traditional and alternative medicines. They BOTH have merit and should be used in conjunction not fighting each other.

        • -1

          You said: "106,000 deaths from FDA-approved prescription medications" is "a good reason to avoid US medical system". This doesn't sound like you were suggesting they be used in conjunction at all.

          As for: "106,000 deaths from FDA-approved prescription medications"
          I wouldn't be surprised that many of these where expected deaths from extreme medication for extreme situations (ie where rigamortis was the next most likely symptom if medication wasn't given).

          I could bloviate on a bunch of other factors but won't.
          The stat on it's own, as you presented it, doesn't mean anything really.

        • +1

          They BOTH have merit

          I scoff. The moment alternative medicine shows actual benefit it becomes, wait for it, medicine!

          It's only alternative because it hasn't been properly shown to work (hint: anecdotes don't do it).

        • I wouldn't be surprised that many of these where expected deaths from …..

          You're assuming something without knowing the facts. That's called an opinion isn't it? :)

          It's still 250,000+ deaths per year for whatever reasons. Kinda insignificant to the 20 patient case 'medical' study that found no benefit for colonic irrigation but 'may' in fact cause nausea, cramps, bloating or renal failure. Heck, there's prescription medication that does worse than this yet there seems a lot of uninformed opinions being made here on that colonic study, which leads me on to this ….

          The stat on it's own, as you presented it, doesn't mean anything really.

          Touché. Statistics and studies are totally meaningless without all the facts and nevertheless can still be manipulated to show misleading evidence. Medical studies are full of such 'manipulations'. That's my opinion :)

        • -1

          "I wouldn't be surprised" does not equal "assuming something".
          My definition of the former is, "I don't know it to be true, but if someone pointed me to some facts about it, then my gut feeling would be justified"

          Anyway. Let me know when you can tell me how many of those 250k americans actually died from suicide, old age, obesity, accidental overdose of their prescribed medication, poor storage of their prescribed medication, giving false information to the prescribing doctor.. and all the other factors. The 250k is pretty meaningless.

          Apparently, 112 of 5ish million Scottish residents had a paracetamol related death in 2000.
          http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1874442/
          I wouldn't be surprised if all of them were overweight, old, trying to commit suicide, or screwed up somewhere with disclosure etc.
          I'm certainly not going to stop taking paracetamol.

          But if I was going to shove a lubed tube of liquid up my ass, I would be reading every bit of information I could. I would give more weight to informed negative information in the absence of proper trials and studies showing the treatment actually works. What is the risk, what is the reward.

        • Anyway. Let me know when you can tell me how many of those 250k americans actually died from …..

          Sure thing:
          80,000 Infections in hospitals
          45,000 Other errors in hospitals
          12,000 Unnecessary surgery
          7,000 Medication errors in hospitals
          + the 106,000 deaths from FDA-approved prescription medications but lets not count them not knowing what that number is based on, if side effect or accidental or suicide etc.

          Let's look at L-Tryptophan, a naturally occurring essential amino acid that's good for sleep, mood control and stress. It got banned in 1990s by FDA due to a few deaths and adverse side effects. Was all l-tryptophan at fault or was it only the contaminated supply manufactured by one company? Who knows, depends on which scientific study you read. Doesn't matter anyway because LT is natural and can't be patented. Prozac on the other hand, now that's raking in $billions for the drug business. How many have died or gone whacko from taking Prozac?

          As for sticking a tube of liquid up your bum, check out This page here and be sure to look at the pretty pictures. Maybe you've got something just as delightful growing inside you?

          I would be reading every bit of information I could.

          And so you should, as do I in the hope of unraveling truth from fiction. I drink coffee and red wine and like dark chocolate. Depending on the 'expert scientific research' I'm either prolonging my life or heading to an early grave. Oh, I take paracetamol on occasion as well :)

          But this is getting extreeemly side tracked from OP.

        • My point is, how many of those 80k infections in hospital were made worse by the fat-ass low-class american patient? Where did this figure even come from? What does it actually comprise of? Did these stats come from the general population or from hospitalised patients where of course they will be in severe situations and poor health, probably fat and dumb or the skinny crack-head homeless of america on the brink of death anyway?

          As for the photos:
          I don't care about things growing inside of me, I embrace the thousands of organisms that make up me. If anything, I want more normality inside of me.

          Read up on the hygiene hypothesis, perhaps we are being too clean and this is causing problems.. (maybe) the last thing we should be doing is cleaning our colon. Your photo shows UC/Crohns, some universities are doing trials to put 'nasty' organisms/parasites back into the GI tract in order to fix these conditions. These parasites/organisms have left us since flushing indoor toilets and the 'old friends theory' is that this has led to the asthma, crohns, autoimmunes etc.

          Colonic irrigation says it can help fight parasites and asthma/autoimmunes.. when it may make you worse. Buyer beware.

        • +1

          I'm with Stitchy, i think.

          Cavemen didn't shove hoses up their back door, and they seemed to do pretty fine for a while there.

        • cheers, and lol at the 'i think'.. understandable

          edit add: surprised anyone else is even reading : )

        • from hospitalised patients where of course they will be in severe situations ….

          Yes. However Golden Staph doesn't give a rats ass about ones health and/or socioeconomic situation. No I'm not saying golden staph is the one and only prime culprit for 80k deaths. But:

          If 80k fat-ass-low-class americans (your words) were shown to die in anything remotely connected to 'natural health' treatments, holy cow, the media would milk it for all it's worth, people jailed and lawyers would be rubbing their hands with glee.

          I don't care about things growing inside of me.

          That's a brave blanket statement; you'd not be worried about a 2Kg tumor attached to your liver? Not all organisms are desirable. Having 10 year old trapped fecal matter in the colon is not desirable either.

          Antibiotics kill friendly organisms, chemo therapy kills friendly organisms, colonics flush away friendly organisms. Take a probiotic. Colonics should be a once or twice in your lifetime treatment by a reputable provider, not weekly, monthly or yearly and adding coffee, tea, herbs, whatever is silly and unnecessary.

          Read up on the hygiene hypothesis …

          What's this, a glimmer of hope that (maybe) we agree on some crazy unproven theory with no accepted scientific backup? :) Are you teasing me?

          The world is an amazing and awe inspiring planet. Too bad god created humans and (bleep)d it all up. Who is god, what is god? Did we maybe crawl out of some cesspool of green liquid and 'evolve' into what we are today? Oooh, another can of controversial worms.

          It's been an interesting banter Stichy but I now dips me lid, bids thee a pleasant farewell and rides away into the sunset :)

        • +3

          look guys, i think this has gone on for long enough. its really turned to shi….errrr… what ever, carry on……

        • Do you know why chemotherapy exists? It is because natural medicine is useless in treating cancer.

          Saying that chemotherapy and antibiotics kill good bacteria is well known, in fact its how they work. I don't know if you meant to shock anyone, but you failed miserable.

          If your child had cancer and you refused them chemo, I would hope you would die from freak accident so at least they had a chance.

        • lol nosdan! :)

        • +1

          Tut tut Modokun, stooping to personal attacks?

          Let's see, YOU said:

          Not sure how alternative therapy is able to be negged ….

          But it has been. This particular treatment has been poo-pooed because it may have, wait for it, numerous "side effects" including, (as pointed out by 2 other posters) - the ability to kill/destroy good bacteria? Get it now? antibiotics, chemo, or colonic = dead bacteria = side effect.

          Let's not be glib about this though as there can be a risk of death from this procedure. Well guess what, traditional medicine can have side effects and a risk of death as well.

          BTW, I have not negged or dumped on medical treatment. I do not tout one way of treatment as better than the other. What I have said is:

          that there is failures in both traditional and alternative medicines. They BOTH have merit and should be used in conjunction not fighting each other.

          Read it again and happy bargain hunting :)

        • "Read it again". Read your first comment again.
          First you suggest traditional medicine 'should be avoided'.
          (and you CLEARLY 'neg or dump on medical treatment')
          Then you change your stance to 'should be used in conjunction'.
          huh?

          PREDICTION:
          This is where you'll, once again, launch operation Straw Man.
          (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Straw_man)
          You'll say that your first comment was only about the US medical system.
          When clearly, this was used because they were the stats you found, and the US is what you call 'traditional' medicine.

          (Going by the context in which you used the word 'traditional'; you mean, modern, western, US, pharmaceuticals etc.. not the meaning 'traditional' as in chinese medicine etc etc)

          REASONING:
          You do this often. Example:
          I say I want 'normal' organisms that 'make up me', growing in me.
          You then you link this to a tumor!
          OK? Did you really really honestly think I was talking about a tumor at all?
          Of course not, you're attacking a straw man.
          (a tumor isn't even an organism by any normal definition)

          Your positions, logic, arguments seem in constant flux.

          Mitt Romney, what are you doing on ozbargain?!
          Shouldn't you be finding out if you have won the election.

          P.S
          Modokun is attacking your logic (unless you have cancer, even then maybe modokun would have to know.)
          If you really felt that was a personal attack, I'd place you outside of the 'reasonable person'. Otherwise, you've just built another straw man.. and no doubt you'll have plenty more to build from this post. Enjoy!!!
          YAAAYY!!!!
          weeeee!!
          yippeee!!

        • +1

          P.S IT'S NOT A TUMOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

        • +1

          Actually I am negative on it because the possible documented harm outweighs the anecdotal possible benefits.

        • In that first post I'm replying to previous poster happily conveying negative aspects of colonics, one of which being report of 36 deaths. He finishes his post with:

          sounds good doesn't it

          Gee, I wonder if he's being facetious and reckons this is a dangerous therapy, don't do it.

          I in turn mention that 10s thousands people die in hospital from medical errors.

          Gee I wonder if maybe I too was being facetious when retorting hospitals "should be avoided".

          Gee, I wonder if:

          there is failures in both traditional and alternative medicines. They BOTH have merit and should be used in conjunction not fighting each other.

          C'mon straw man lets find Dorothy and flux on out of this crazy place. :)

        • There is a massive "if" at the beginning of my statement.

          If you refused chemo for a child, I would prefer that you did die in a freak accident. I mean that with no malice or offense to be caused.

          I only mean it in the sense that if it is between the death of an innocent child, and the death of someone who is denying an innocent child access to a life saving medical procedure… I would prefer the child not to die. No harm done, just trying to not waste potential in the human race whilst also shedding unproductive baggage.

          The difference between colonic hyrdotherapy and chemo is:

          • Chemo is found to have the negative aspect of killing good bacteria, but is also proven to have the incredibly beneficial aspect of also killing cancerous cells.
          • Colonic Hydrotherapy is found to have the negative aspect of killing good bacteria, but is also… actually… there is no proven benefit.

          I have also argued the entire time that you shouldnt be able to neg this deal, even if it is a bunch of bolony (which it is), if you can't neg other deals based on faith.

          The Fact is:
          - tens of thousands of people die in hospital from medical errors, however hundreds of thousands of lives are saved from the same medicine.
          - 36 people have died from this particular 'medical' procedure, and not one life has been saved.

        • There is a massive "if" at the beginning of my statement.

          And now I understand but that big IF didn't come across in your earlier posting.

          So no credible 'study' has proven CT to be of benefit. Bet you there's lots of recipients of the treatment out there who would disagree. But that's only anecdotal and doesn't count does it?

          Okay then, what about Dr Teo the brain surgeon. He's seeing a big increase in brain tumors right next to the ears, right next to where mobile phones are held. I'm sorry, did I insinuate mobiles are dangerous? Silly me because isn't the mobile industry categorically denying any danger? Where are the studies to prove it. So far we only have anecdotal musings of a handful of brain surgeons around the world.

          Must be a bunch of bolony?

          Are the cigarette companies still in total denial that their products causes harm? Wasn't there decades of only anecdotal evidence that smoking can cause cancer before it became fact? How come people still smoke knowing this?

        • +1

          A lot of people swear by horoscopes, crystal balls, and exorcisms.

          Anecdotal evidence doesn't cut it when it comes to approving medicines.

          Regarding smoking, people continue to smoke because nicotine addiction is one of the hardest addictions to drop. Your point is completely mute there.

          At least we can agree that this offer has as many benefits to it as smoking.

  • +1

    I don't know, something just doesn't smell right about this deal …

    • +4

      these deals give me the shits
      some of these deals promise but don't deliver. I fully expect this one to follow through and deliver the goods

  • +4

    I think that if you have not personally done it, you are just passing on the ideas of others - either for or against. Modokun is right, as a discount on a service, it's a bargain. I don't neg an iphone app just because I think android is better…

  • +1

    This will bugger your bum.

    Eat a watermelon instead.

    • +1

      In a hurry?
      Have a curry!

      • +1

        In a total hurry?
        Have a curry IN INDIA…. 30 mins max - explosive dunny bombs.

  • +1

    neg for using the word enjoy.

    • Enjoy the Incredible Effects of a Complete Bowel Detox..

      I have to say, if someone stuck a hose up my freckle, i would indeed be incredulous.

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