Hi OzBargain,
I’m seeking some advice in dealing with different money values.
My partner’s family has a different money story and opinion to me. Sadly, they really struggled financially and as a result, the entire family has a deeply ingrained scarcity mindset. They stress about spending a few extra dollars while dining out for dinner and generally refuse to buy anything over $100 (unless it’s a necessity).
I’m trying to develop a close relationship with them. However, I’m finding challenges connecting to them, while also sharing my life and how I spend my money. I grew up middle class and by am no stretch, considered wealthy. I just believe in spending my money on what I value. This is PT sessions, education and self-development.
They often tell me that I’m ‘wasting’ my money which makes me uncomfortable.
How can I retain a relationship with them without it affecting my own personal relationship to money? I care deeply about not offending them, but I don’t want to be judged for spending my money how I please (in what actually seems reasonable to me).
Please let me know if you have any other questions! It’s my first time posting.
Thank you.
Simple, don't discuss anything money or spending related with them. Change the topic or just don't bring it up in the first place. Don't flaunt your purchases in front of them. If they're the ones constantly bringing it up then it's not going to be easy. It's not normal for it to be a regular discussion topic, I know it's never a topic that comes up with my friends and family unless unavoidable eg dealing with a deceased estate. You say you don't want to be judged but in a way are judging them for their approach to money and spending. Both views are valid.