Was I Being Unreasonable with Another Member?

Hopefully the person this is about won't mind me posting this, there are no hard feelings and I will avoid identifying them in any way. I'm posting this as this interaction has proven to be a mildly humorous conversation topic with friends; I want to see what the OzBargain community thinks.

A while ago I commented in a deal on OzBargain that I bought some of the items in the deal but was not happy with some of them after they arrived. Another member, we'll call them Member1, slid into my DMs and offered to buy them off me since the deal had since expired. I was happy to try and help since it was a technically a good deal and they missed out. Turns out were in different states so I we just left it. Ah well.

About a week later, my parents (who live in that Member1's city) came to visit me on an impromptu trip so I flicked Member1 a message and offered to give the items to my parents and Member1 could pick them up from my parent's place at their convenience. Member1 agreed so I gave the items to my parents, they traveled home and I told them to wait for a message from a random person to arrange pick up.

Just before I connected Member1 to my parents, I double checked the expected payment amount with Member1. They would have seen how much I paid because of the deal but wanted to be sure we were on the same page. I confirmed with them the price of the items plus a proportion of the shipping I paid. E.g. If I bought 10 items of equal value and size from the store and Member1 was buying 8 of them, I calculated they should pay 80% of the shipping cost that the store charged me.
Note 1: The store has flat rate shipping cost which is in the single digits
Note 2: The store has free shipping at a certain order total but it is over 2x the value of this proposed transaction.

Member1 came back and proposed they pay none of the shipping costs. I said no. They then offered a shipping amount that was less than my proposed amount suggesting I should pay more shipping as I was keeping some of the items in the total order. I said no. They then cancelled the arrangement saying that they would have spent over the shipping cap and achieved free shipping if they were to have gone to the store as a regular customer.

I now have to get the items back from my parents when I visit them over Christmas. Not a huge issue, just mildly annoying.

Thoughts?

Poll Options

  • 54
    Including proportioned shipping cost was fair
  • 27
    OP should have excluded shipping cost
  • 178
    Give me my 2 minutes back after reading that

Comments

  • +17

    Your life must be boring to worry about this.

    Also, you are now stuck with things you don't want, and no money for them, rather than getting rid of said things, and getting most of the money back. Cut off your nose to spite your face.

    • +10

      Luckily the items weren't sunnies!

    • +2

      I totally disagree. Member1 missed out on a bargain, and was given a 2nd chance. It would have been acceptable for OP to bump up the price a little to make it worth their while. Member1 should have been grateful for the opportunity and could have offered to pay all the postage.

      I can't believe Member1 thought they'd have a go at getting a better bargain than anyone else, despite being late for the party. That's biting the hand that feeds you, and I'm glad they've gone hungry now.

  • +15

    You needed an agreement regarding the price before transporting the item. Other details are largely irrelevant.

    Caveat - 15-second skim read after seeing the "Give me my 2 minutes back after reading that" option.

    • +1

      Agreed but life isn't always that simple. Just gotta go with the flow.

  • +12

    And the crowd goes mild.

    You should have agreed the price before hand, simple as that. Never assume an important detail like that. There’s no right or wrong answer as to whether shipping should be included, you should have agreed on something first.

  • +12

    Sounds like the typical pettiness of the current year.

    • +2

      Easy times create weak men.

      • What bout women?

        • +6

          Easy women create hard men.

      • +1

        My brother-in-laws sleep on the floor. I thought it was because they couldn't afford a bed, but when they stay over, they still sleep on the floor.
        They reckon our comforts make us weak.

  • +1

    Why t f do you write your story like it's some sort of riddle?? Just state the amounts and we'll tell you whether:

    1. You're the clown
    2. The other member is the clown
    3. You're both clowns.
  • +3

    All that for over a few dollars?

    • +7

      It should be clear it's not about the money; I've since given the items to a mate for free. I was trying to help a community member by inconveniencing myself and my family so they could take advantage of a deal they missed out on.

      • +6

        Amusing thread.

        I would have been totally fine with sharing the shipping had I been 'Member 1' because I like to think that 1) I am not a petty ass and 2) you're doing me a massive favour getting your parents to cart stuff around interstate for me. Mainly the second reason.

  • What's the item price each? And what was the shipping cost?

    • I'm guessing the wipes at $15 each plus shipping by Amazon without prime - #15? But who is not a member these days? The other is Ikea strip lighting at $5, shipping could be $15. Come on op, details…

  • +2

    the things i do to pass the time till melbourne cup big race

    • Yep, quiet day today since I don't care for the race but the rest of the office does.

    • Tomorrows dog meat for the rich

  • +8

    Honestly most of the story doesn't matter.
    The critical thing is - you owned something. You negotiated to sell something. That negotiation did not include shipping. When shipping was raised you found out you did not actually have a deal. Case closed.

  • +5

    I wouldn't have passed on shipping costs but that's just me. In my mind I would be incurring those costs by ordering for myself anyway, which is the position you still now find yourself in.

  • +1

    What's the item worth and what did you add for shipping?

  • +1

    Were your parents going to deliver the items to the member for the proportioned shipping fee you were proposing?

    • No -

    So essentially the member is covering a majority proportion of the initial shipping cost, plus their time/fuel etc to go obtain the items from your parent's place.

    If this time/fuel plus proportioned shipping fee plus unit fee ends up summing close to or greater than what they can purchase the items for themselves directly now (without leaving house), why would they bother with the purchase from you?

    • +1

      Fair points. My counter is that the deal had since expired so if they were to order from the store themselves they would have had to have pay much more for the each item.
      I gave them my parent's suburb and they were 'very close by'.

  • Fold 5?

  • +4

    Including proportioned shipping cost was fair
    OP should have excluded shipping cost

    Both. Not unreasonable for you to ask OP to pay their portion of the shipping cost. Not unreasonable for buyer to ask not to pay shipping cost.

    Was it worth it (for either party) to lose the transaction over the (single digit) shipping cost? No, not in my opinion.

  • +5

    You wanted them to pay shipping costs despite not shipping it to them?
    The other person wasn't being unreasonable given that they weren't getting the delivery to door service that shipping costs cover.
    They tried to compromise too, given they offered a smaller shipping amount during the negotiation.

    Sounds like you screwed yourself out of some $ for no good reason.

  • +2

    Geez OP, you posted on the wrong day. I'm sure Ozb players toss a coin before taking a viewpoint.
    Principles oscillate daily

  • +4

    Why would you tank a deal over a few $ around shipping (that you already made use of anyway)?

    And then you gave it away for free to a mate. So instead of sucking up the cost of $5, you've now lost $20+ or whatever it was. That is moronic.

    • +3

      Because he can now stand in front of the mirror, chest out with his hands on his hips.. telling himself that he "won".

    • +2

      Or, he didn't lose the money, he helped out a friend.

      Sounds like they were both being petty, but a $20 favour would feel much better than a $5 ripoff

  • +5

    Hi. I am an OzBargain member, one of the more upstanding ones.

    This website caters to the glutenous takers in society. They take everything they can get for themselves, if they need it or not. ie. All the free samples of stock such as dog food people get, that don't have dogs… They just like to fill their empty lives with "stuff".

    Your mistake was thinking the other member was an upstanding person, grateful for you organising your parents to take it up with them. However, because of both members not giving in you both lose.

    Sometimes it isn't worth the hassle to resell so I would have just not charged the postage fee just to get it out of my hair.

    • +1

      Perfect summary of the user group (well most of them)

  • +1

    Was this the sex toys deal cause if it was, the condition ie new or used condition matters too

    • Nah all good. I mean we all love a simple steak, but the pre-marinated stuff can be pretty decent

  • +2

    Personally I would have not charged included shipping costs and get rid of the items.

    That's like another post wanting to sell their GCs at full price because they didn't need them, the buyer has no incentive to buy them but to 'help' the seller get rid of them.

  • +2

    Note 1: The store has flat rate shipping cost which is in the single digits

    All that hassle over less than $10 in shipping?

  • -1

    FFS I'm a slow reader. I want my 3 minutes back.

    • I'll give you 1 min even though I wasn't planning on actually giving you any.

  • To go through the effort of writing all this crap out, this better be a multi hundred dollar purchase or something. What the hell is this rubbish?

  • Even so, maybe settle for 40-50% of shipping cost, but should have agreed prior. :)

  • You need another option:
    It’s 1am and I can’t sleep. Reading this post is helping with the latter

  • +2

    Tried to sell second item for more than you paid for it (shipping is separate). Yeah, nah. I wouldn't have agreed to pay more for an item I have no recourse for any issues that may arise. Especially when that extra fee means I still have to go out and get it. The saving and my need for it would both have to be huge!

  • +1

    I would have walked away too from this deal if OP acted the way he did.

    He tried to squeeze too much juicefrom this deal and that ain't right in my books.

  • You should have discussed your expectations prior to the point you did so. You are to blame and thus it is righteous you wear the inconvenience.

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