Was I in The Wrong? Awkward Situation at Restaurant

So I had a rather awkward situation at a restaurant and was wondering if I was in the wrong?

Backstory:

It's Father's Day and there are a few people waiting in line to order. I don't know if these people already have a table or not but all the tables are taken except one so I go into self preservation mode and quickly snag the table. I was also still waiting for my dad to come so I didn't want to order yet. My girlfriend then asked me if we should wait to be seated first, which made me feel bad for potentially queue jumping so I looked back at the line and saw a couple who looked like they wanted to sit there. I offered them the table since they were there before us but the man said since there was only 4 of us, we could split the table.

The table was actually 3 tables combined into 1 and had 6 seats and the lady tried to separate the table so that they had an extra table for themselves but I told her that I needed the extra table because I was waiting for another person.

After we sorted out the issue, they went back to the front counter to order. As I was waiting for my dad, a different couple came to sit down at their table. At first I was going to tell them that someone was already sitting there, but then it reminded me of the OzBargain posts about people reserving parks for other people and I didn't want to be rude so I did the 200 IQ move and said nothing.

My dad finally arrived during all of this and sat down at the table that I had saved for him. While my girlfriend and dad caught up about life, I sat in silence waiting for the chaos to unfold.

The couple then came back and saw that someone had taken their table and the lady actually took it pretty well and said "wow that was fast" and then asked us if we can share even though there clearly wasn't enough seats for them and my dad gave them a firm no. Feeling guilty, I asked my dad if we should move but he told me to not give them our seats and at the time I agreed with him because I felt like there was no good choice so I went with the selfish choice.

They ended up sitting in the bar area to eat which is obviously not as pleasant. When I went to make my order, the same couple was in front of me ordering some drinks and the lady looked back and gave me a bit of a dirty look but I just ignored it. As we all finished our dinner and was about to leave, the lady said "Thanks for saving our table" sarcasticly and said it twice to make sure we heard her. I just said "No worries" back and left.

Looking back I can laugh at the absurdity of the situation but I am still left wondering if I was in the wrong and wanted the communities thoughts about the situation.

Poll Options

  • 504
    Yes, you should have told the other couple that people were already sitting there
  • 49
    No, it's their job to save their own table. One of them should have waited at the table
  • 22
    It's no one's fault. The restaurant should have had a reserve system in place.

Comments

  • +7

    What kind of restaurant are you talking about? Western/Asian? $/$$$? Name it.
    Not all restaurants are the same.
    If it doesn’t have Please Wait To Be Seated sign, it’s fair game.

    • It was a Japanese restaurant with a bar but most people are there for the food. Also I never saw any signs at the tables or front counter.

      • Alright, either you're so clueless and socially inept person (why post here tho?)…

        …or the more likely scenario, is that this is all what is referred to as "Rage Bait".

      • +1

        Probably better just get KFC takeaway and eat at home next time.

        • +2

          New situation for the kfc ads.

  • +42

    Should of protected their table brah

    • +18

      Should have.
      And I don't think he owed it to them, but it would have been nice to do.

      • -6

        Nah, not "should have", it is "should've" - I know that it is a subtle difference but that is the word that they were trying to type.

        • You are right that the contraction 'should've' is what most people are going for when they make this mistake.
          My comment was based on mokr's use of two seperate words, and is also intended to help others with this affliction understand what they are actually trying to say, thus avoiding this annoying error.

    • Exactly, don't expect other people to protect your table if you can't even be stuffed asking. The couple assumed incorrectly and got what was obviously going to happen at a busy food court. OP gave them the table and they blew it by leaving completely unattended like it was an empty food court.

  • +54

    except one so I go into self preservation mode and quickly snag the table.

    So you just jumped over a bunch of people that were there before you?
    Mate you are not the kind of person that should be worrying about being socially rude..

      • +23

        However I should have asked the people in the line before sitting down

        That’s it, you got it..
        Or I personally would have just waited for my turn and if someone from behind me tried to cut me, I’d call them out and politely ask them to F off. Simple..

  • +39

    You had no obligation to 'save' their table. But a simple comment to the new people coming to sit down wouldve prevented this whole thing. You didn't have to physically protect the table or anything… Even you said it yourself that you "knew what was coming"… but you decided to be dick and just let a potential fight over a table play out.

    You probably didn't consider the fact that you, your gf and dad were sitting right there. If things got a little physical (and I've these things happen in food courts!), you could've easily had food or drink all over you.

    • +12

      Imagine a future where everyone just posts chat bot responses. May as well shut the forums.

      • +2

        May as well shut the forums down humanity

      • From ChatGPT:

        While it's true that the widespread use of chatbot-generated responses could change the nature of online forums and discussions, there are some nuances to consider:

        Efficiency: Chatbots can provide quick and accurate responses to common questions, which can be very helpful for users seeking specific information promptly.

        Supplement, Not Replace: Chatbots are tools that can complement human participation rather than completely replace it. They can handle routine queries, leaving humans to engage in more complex or creative discussions.

        Customization: Users can customize chatbot responses to fit their needs, making them useful for personalization and automation.

        Limitations: Chatbots have limitations in understanding context and providing nuanced responses. They may not be suitable for all types of discussions.

        Moderation: To maintain the quality of discussions, forums could implement moderation policies and guidelines, ensuring that chatbot responses adhere to community standards.

        In this imagined future, while chatbot responses might play a more significant role, forums could still thrive as places for unique human interactions, debates, and the exchange of diverse perspectives. Balancing automation with human engagement would likely be key to the continued relevance of online forums.

    • +1

      There’s always one, ain’t it?

    • At least a lmgtfy link can have a modicum of humour.

  • +4

    I was with OP right until the end with the reply of "no worries". Way to escalate the situation. People get so angry these days, not very "200 IQ" to add to it.

  • +14

    Weird set-up for any restaurant serving dinner to be a free-for-all re: seating & not have servers seat people.

    Also, if the tables were so hard to come by then what couple in their right mind would leave their table together to go and order at the front counter?

  • +75

    The OP acts like an ahole, than seeks validation?
    YES you acted like an a
    hole!

      • +52

        If you don't want to hear answers, don't ask questions.

        • +6

          he's taking his post way too seriously

      • +2

        Some like to live life with no consciousness or consequences, leaving crap behind them.

        Con men and serial killers are two of the extreme examples.

        I won't add a girly "lol".

        • +4

          What's so "girly" about "lol"?

          • +3

            @[Deactivated]: Manly men say LOL /s

            • +6

              @soan papdi: Ohhhhhh …. Males who reside in Manly are capitalists to the core

          • -6

            @[Deactivated]: I apologise to any and all lolly boys who object to being identified as lolly boys.

            Please identify yourself, and I will write a public apology.

        • +4

          I just realised that YOU are the OP.
          What an example of "being a dick"!

          You act like a cretin, ask people if it's OK, then say some people take life way too seriously. "Some guys" are simply wasted space. Is your real name alan joyce?

          • -8

            @rooster7777: It's not your answer but the way you say it. I'll just leave it at that.

          • +2

            @rooster7777: If you are not a carpenter, consider a career move. Your skills at nailing are sublime

            • -1

              @Protractor: You have my sincere thanks for the compliment.

              Unfortunately, life has not gifted me with sufficiently good screwing skills to transfer to that occupation.

              Best I keep my day/night job pulling parts off wrecked cars, fixing veteran tractors, and herding sheep.

              • @rooster7777: With those 3 extra worthy skills you probably over qualify, anyway.

              • @rooster7777: "life has not gifted me with sufficiently good screwing skills"
                Bad news for the gf then…. Ouch! :)

                • @jrvb42: Nods wryly… a carpenter with a hammer that's too big is not valued for delicate skills working in confined spaces.

      • +12

        You guys take life way too seriously.

        From the person thinking their daily activities are important enough to be asking life advice on ozbargain about?

        • -7

          I wouldn't constitute this as life advice lol. I was just curious what people thought because I was genuinely unsure if I had made the right decision or not and the poll was pretty even for a while so I know I wasn't the only one.

          • +6

            @baskinghobo: If you are a 'grown up' and you still don't know what doing the 'right thing looks like, ask your elders. Beyond that you'll fit right in to modern entitlement-ism.
            "#MeFirst

      • +2

        So why ask then .. I mean WTF..

      • +1

        Japanese restaurants don't need you

      • +1

        Says the guy that cut a line (the line is sacred I. Australia), snagged a table, had an awkward interaction with setup, then let someone else take it.
        If the restaurant seated you and it came out that way, no problem but you sat yourself.

    • +3

      First thought when i read the title:
      “Man this should be in r/AITA”

      Yeah, poor form all round.

      But so is the couples response when leaving, common sense should have told them to leave one person or some items at the table.

      ESH

    • If OP is in Cairns, it is as feral as it can get.
      Good restaurants have a table manager, but that also requires cultured people to have some manners.
      Esplanade restaurants get broken in all the times and cops do ABSOLUTELY nothing about it!!

      What more do you expect in a feral place?

  • Sounds dodgy, but could have marked the table somehow to show it was booked. Similar to the car parks… so putting a bag on the table etc. Also know how these things can happen. Basically no energy to move etc…

  • +10

    At most establishments it is customary to be seated by staff, I would look upon some MF just rocking up and seating themselves as rude. But if the restaurant is free seating then that's fine.

    Yes, to avoid unnecessary confusion I would have said simply the table was already taken. It hardly reflects on you.

    • -4

      Hmm I think this is the correct answer. I should have just manned up and said something but I have a tendency to overthink and was worried they might think I'm trying to save the table for a friend or something which wouldn't even make sense now that I think about it because the tables were separated.

      • No sure about overthink, more like hard work.

      • +1

        well it's a lesson alright

        don't get too experimental in social settings

        • Or just don't leave you house and you're safe

          • @ddilrat: It's the only external facial interaction we get to curb chronic loneliness

  • +4

    I'm sure guilt & Karma will inform you sooner than any affirmation you find acceptable online. I have an inkling it's already sinking in.
    But worry not. Soon the norm will be throwing ppl out of their seats so the entitled can stuff their faces first.

  • +12

    I asked Uncle Roger about this and he said:

    I go into self preservation mode and quickly snag the table

    Haiya! Preserve yourself from what? Play musical chairs? Get kick out if not sit down in time?

    My girlfriend then asked me if we should wait to be seated first, which made me feel bad for potentially queue jumping

    Yes, yes. Your girlfriend got more manners than you. Big tick for her.

    I offered them the table since they were there before us but the man said since there was only 4 of us, we could split the table.

    Good move. You redeem yourself in eyes of girlfriend. Good move. You also make new friends.

    At first I was going to tell them that someone was already sitting there, … I didn't want to be rude so I did the 200 IQ move and said nothing.

    Haiyaaa. You not want to be rude but you rude to first couple you offered table to. What are you? Some sort of Jekyll and Hyde? Haiyaa. You offer table to them then let strangers take it away. Same as not offer table to them in first place!

    200 IQ move and said nothing.

    Yes, yes. 200IQ move away from you. You left with negative 200IQ.

    my girlfriend and dad caught up about life

    Your girlfriend shocked by you. Find your Dad better company.

    the lady said "Thanks for saving our table" sarcasticly and said it twice to make sure we heard her. I just said "No worries" back and left.

    Wot? You want to rub it in further? Haiyaa.

    Thanks Uncle Roger.

    Life experiences help shape the person that we are, how we see ourselves, how others see us, how we fit in our society, how we teach others to act. Are you happy with what you did / didn't do? If you were the first couple, would you like to be treated that way? Live and learn.

    • +3

      as much as i hate uncle rog

      your responses gave me a chuckle

      • Wow…. are you jamie oliver fan?
        Hate is such a strong word?

    • Hi Nigel.

      • Uncle Roger says:

        Hello my nephew or niece. Be good. If you can't be good, then be funny :)

  • +8

    It's Father's Day and there are a few people waiting in line to order. I don't know if these people already have a table or not but all the tables are taken except one so I go into self preservation mode and quickly snag the table.

    .

    I didn't want to be rude so I did the 200 IQ move and said nothing.

    OP you know what you did, go away.

  • +18

    OP offered them the table, they accepted. Then he let someone else take it without saying anything. Is a bit weak.

    • +2

      True, I don't disagree with you there. I need to work more on that part of myself.

    • +14

      Worse - OP jumped the queue to snag a table for themselves, then offered the people who were in front of them a table and then let it get taken.

      • Power move right there!

  • +3

    Op is a Queensland. Nuff said.

    • -1

      Yep

    • +2

      cairns sounds rabid ngl

      cancer air in an urn ?

  • +10

    I sat in silence waiting for the chaos to unfold.

    That fact you knew this was coming, means you had been in the wrong.

    You should have said the 3rd couple that the table was taken, I mean you already 'gave' it to them, then let someone else take it.

  • TL.DR version required….

    • +1

      TLDR = "Up you Jack, I'm Alright" or DILLIGAF

  • +4

    This happened a week ago. Move on

  • Yes you are the penalty box word hole

  • +1

    Did you really have to ask this question? I feel like you already know what the answer is.

    • +1

      …Cue Dennis Leary's biggest pop chart hit…..

      • I'd say Cue Thomas Benjamin Wild Esq's greatest hit….

  • +2

    This question belongs here.

    https://www.reddit.com under a section entitled
    AITAH

    But I wouldn’t recommend posting in there if you don’t want the truth.

    • someone should post it there fr

      • +2

        Link it here when you post it.
        But to be honest its a clear case of YTA for the OP

        • Defs, but ironically Lord Mayor material for the Goldcoast running as an LNP candidate.

  • Isn't being an Adult fun? Reading this reminds why I like to book ahead or eat takeout….

    OP is probably the ASH, but the mental gymnastics needed to preform the required/expected social etiquette makes me loose my appetite(Guess you need to just ask a question, not just silently guess or just speak up)…

    P.S If you are going for any big celebration of someone's life…..book ahead! Might save an headache…urghhh!

  • +2

    no biggie.. but in hindsight, next time just wait your turn and allow what will be to be.. you’re meant to enjoy the experience of eating, not for the experience to be eating u..

  • +5

    The couple could have left one person at the table while the other went to order. Standard manoeuvre to protect a table.

  • +2

    You jumped the queue which was bad manners, but the restaurant should have a system in place to stop that happening.

  • +7

    How would you have felt if it was reveresed and you and your girlfriend got up and came back and the table you had was taken by randoms and while the old couple sat and waited for the chaos? There would be your answer to how you did.

    • +1

      Anyone with half a brain would leave one person behind to hold the table while the other person makes both orders to be fair.

    • I’d feel like and idiot for not leaving someone to mind the table or asking the kind stranger (OP) if they would mind the table for me. I’d be embarrassed for even thinking of blaming someone else where the onus is on ME to look after the table.

  • +1

    Without taking into account the first part of the story of potentially jumping queue etc. Just on the part about the couple returning to find someone else seated there. Problem is once you had conversed with the couple about sharing the table etc, it would seem you had sort of agreed with them to share the table and hence they probably expected you would let others know that they were already seated there if someone did come.

  • Be more assertive friend and don't take it all to heart. There are more pressing matters in life.

  • Highlight "I sat in silence waiting for the chaos to unfold".

    • Wouldn't you like that beside you in a battle.

  • +2

    Sorry OP. You wouldn't be asking this question if you thought you'd done the right thing. It'd have taken a few seconds to tell the next family the table was taken. If they told you to get f'ed, you could have left it there and told the returning customers what happened.

  • +1

    For those places where you choose your own table, if there are limited numbers I would always claim the table first. Then to avoid losing it, one of us would go and have a look to decide what to order. Come back and the other then chooses and places both orders.

    If we had been conversing with another couple and knew they intended to return, I would say something to the newcomers planning to sit there. But if that was met with annoyance then leave them to it. In a place like that expecting the table to remain free is not thinking ahead.

  • +1

    This reads like a Curb Your Enthusiasm episode lol

  • +1

    Its people like OP that makes Australia such a lousy place manner wise compared to other countries.

    Dick move

    Your daddy taught you well no doubt

    • Based on the dad's response, like father like son.

  • +1

    They should reserve their own table, it's not your job (you are a customer too).
    The man could've gone to look at the menu, came back and said "I want (insert dish)" to the woman. Then she goes up and decides on her meal and orders.
    If I see 2 people getting up from an empty table and I wanted a 2up table, I'm assuming they are finished and off.

  • Wow yes YTA 100%.
    But at least you have enough self awareness to reflect on this.

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