Dealing with The Sense of Loss When You Lose a Highway Buddy That Has Been Following You for Hours

AustriaBargain on 07/04/2023 - 22:38

So I've been thinking about how sad it is when you've been driving a highway for hours with the same car behind you or behind the same car in front of you, and then when one of you has to turn and you never see them again. Like maybe you're driving slower because you're towing a boat, or you're the only one not speeding, or you're instructing a learner that can't go faster than 100, or your little shitbox can't drive faster than 90, and every other car passes you except one car that chooses to stick behind you for hours. And you get familiar with the sight of them in your mirror, you match your cruise controls to each other and you get that real sense of camaraderie, a real ride or die bond. But then one of you has to turn of stop and you never see them again.

Like any new tentative friendship when they first pull up behind you, you panic a little and you think to them "calm down buddy, the passing lane is up ahead, don't worry", but then you get to the passing lane and they stick behind you. And then the next passing lane they stick behind you again. And then hours go by and they are still right there behind you even though a hundred other cars chose to pass you. Maybe they just want to save fuel by driving a bit slower, but I like to think it's probably a form of kinship or maybe they get a sense of security.

But then your sat nav is telling you that you need to turn off the highway up ahead and you feel a pang of pain in your heart, knowing that they probably won't be making the same turn. And sure enough you make your turn and they drive on by and you never see your highway buddy again 🥲

Automotive

Comments

  • CrispyChrispy on 07/04/2023 - 22:43
    +37

    And just when I thought you couldn't do worse than last time

    • iDroid on 07/04/2023 - 23:52
      +13

      AustriaBargain seems to establish a strong bond to other people in their vicinity.

      • SF3 on 08/04/2023 - 09:02
        +2

        Seem like substitutions for therapy.

        • iDroid on 08/04/2023 - 14:07
          +2

          Therapy is what they come here for.

        • tamerg on 10/04/2023 - 11:18

          OzBargain, far cheaper than retail therapy

      • kaleidoscope on 10/04/2023 - 13:37

        Creepy!

  • dcep on 07/04/2023 - 22:45
    +16

    cue fast and furious 7 ending scene

    • Gunnar on 07/04/2023 - 22:54
      +5

      There’s nothing stronger than family

    • follow on 07/04/2023 - 23:50
      +4

      IT'S BEEN A LONG DAY!

      • Munki on 08/04/2023 - 23:08
        +4

        RIP PAUL WALKER.

        • Cfer50 on 09/04/2023 - 01:02

          Tuna, no crust

  • brendanm on 07/04/2023 - 22:45
    +6

    This is why we need Craigslist missed connections.

  • Wiadro on 07/04/2023 - 22:48
    +4

    I don’t think I’ve had this issue

  • altomic on 07/04/2023 - 23:05
    +35

    i feel sadder when I'm on the train and there is a fly in my carriage which then flies out the door at some station but obviously it is never going to find its way home back to its friends and family…..

    • Skullytor on 10/04/2023 - 13:34

      Poor Baxter

  • lostgoat on 07/04/2023 - 23:11
    +4

    Counter psycho tailgating thread ?
    I think OP you have found your calling to go to the rainbow parade .

  • djsweet on 07/04/2023 - 23:16
    +5

    I now look forward to these drunken Friday night posts. What you drinking tonight?

  • FireRunner on 07/04/2023 - 23:17

    So long, partner

  • Vancomycin 1000mg on 07/04/2023 - 23:54
    +13

    I think you should ask them to peg you at the servo.

  • bdl on 08/04/2023 - 00:25

    Brake check is love <3

  • Guybrush57 on 08/04/2023 - 00:31
    +15

    I have legit felt this pain. Thought I was weird.

    • fantombloo on 08/04/2023 - 10:06
      +7

      Usually being one of the "more expedient" drivers on the road I sometimes get the opposite: that car that plays alongside me, trying to thread through the same gaps, showing off when they get a car length in front, etc. It starts off as a competition but by the time we're both well ahead of the pack it turns into mutual respect and we're looking out for each other making sure we both get the same breaks. Yes, departing ways just got that little bit harder - "see ya buddy, we were a good team amongst all those losers."

  • humilem servum tuum on 08/04/2023 - 01:42
    +4

    Sorry for your loss. Must be absolutely crushing/devastating.

  • veryconfusion on 08/04/2023 - 05:49
    +8

    Right on buddy!
    Do you also feel the sting of betrayal when they follow you just long enough to make you think you have a connection, then overtake you at the next passing lane???!!!

  • Murkymerv on 08/04/2023 - 06:06
    +4

    You need a psychiatrist !

  • FocusRider on 08/04/2023 - 06:16
    +2

    Get off it mate

  • kerfuffle on 08/04/2023 - 06:57
    +1

    Why would you want someone following you? That just increases the chances of being rear ended.

    • [Deactivated] on 08/04/2023 - 13:35
      +3

      OP may be so lonely that they're looking for connections in highway traffic

    • bobbified on 08/04/2023 - 14:42
      +3

      OP likes them 'behind'.

      • AustriaBargain on 09/04/2023 - 09:47
        +1

        You're not wrong.

        • bobbified on 09/04/2023 - 12:20
          -2

          I remembering you mentioning that! 😆

      • Boostland on 09/04/2023 - 21:05

        A truck or vehicle with bull bar Infront is handy during roo hours

    • Windows7forever on 09/04/2023 - 19:12
      +1

      OP secretly wants a stalker in his life

  • pegaxs on 08/04/2023 - 07:09
    +11

    Ever stopped to think of the flip side of that coin, that they are finally happy to be rid of you?

  • DashCam AKA Rolts on 08/04/2023 - 07:46
    +1

    Automotive version of proximity bias.

  • abear on 08/04/2023 - 08:01
    +13

    If you have a rear dashcam you can savor the time together forever

    • mafmouf on 09/04/2023 - 23:59

      Always need context for this comment.

  • Ocker on 08/04/2023 - 08:08
    -5

    It never ceases to amaze me the time and effort some people put into writing such drivel.

    • GrueHunter on 08/04/2023 - 14:42
      +11

      Sorry to hear writing is an effort for you

      1300 6555 06

    • Breno785au on 09/04/2023 - 09:24

      I thought the writing was on point, that subject matter though…

  • holdenmg on 08/04/2023 - 08:21
    +1

    They could be a stalker, Milat… Wolf Creek or maybe just slipstreaming you…

    Yeah, lets go with them just trying to save fuel and we can all sleep at night.

  • randomusername2017 on 08/04/2023 - 09:27
    +1

    I looked at my watch and felt a sense of loss after reading that..does that count?¿

  • payless69 on 08/04/2023 - 11:18

    Stop listening to Smokie music!
    Alice is long gone!

  • nswnotill on 08/04/2023 - 11:48
    +6

    My guess is that my cruise control is set at the same speed as the partner vehicle, which is 1-2 kph under the speed limit. We both overtake the red P platers, learners, and 4WD's pulling big caravans. Other vehicles who take bigger risks with speeding overtake both of us.
    I had such an experience with such a vehicle a few months back . He religiously stuck behind me for ages. When we both stopped at the servo he told me that had had lost practically all his demerit points, and would not risk driving over the speed limit as he would lose his license!

  • foxmulder on 08/04/2023 - 12:01

    Scene In Todd Singing Sharing the Night Together

  • GrueHunter on 08/04/2023 - 14:58
    +6

    Sometimes you just find somebody who has the same driving rhythm. For me it's someone who is doing the limit, isn't in a rush, and isn't trying to overtake all the time so they can get caught behind the next car instead, ie no small d*ck energy.

    Time before last trip to BNE we managed to follow a bloke in an older ute from around Coffs all the way to Byron turn off. He kept a nice braking distance in front of him, we had one between him and us, just cruising along. Somebody would cut in front, he'd ease off a bit, we'd follow suit. No rush to use the overtaking lanes - if it was easy we did, otherwise we just slowed down for a bit until an easy pass was possible. A very relaxed couple of hours.

    Wasn't sure if he knew what we were up to or he thought we were stalking him but we got a thumbs up as he turned off which was nice.

    • Roentgenium on 08/04/2023 - 17:27
      +1

      yep. it's great having someone like this behind.

      bonus points for when it gets bit hilly and despite it taking a second or two for my cruise control in my shitbox to realise and get back to speed, they dont angrily overtake you.

    • Windows7forever on 09/04/2023 - 19:13

      Did you get his number?

  • Gnilgorf on 08/04/2023 - 20:20
    +1

    Reading this after coming down from a long alpine drive, and with nighttime quickly settling in. Had someone follow us for most of the trip down, on an otherwise lonely road with no turn offs.

    Then near the end we lost sight of them…no clue where they went. Hope they made it down ok.

    • bakemon0 on 09/04/2023 - 13:36

      sorry to say but you just imagined it as your own form of coping when the loneliness, the brain is a wonderful thing

  • mungas on 08/04/2023 - 21:09
    +5

    It’s funny because this is so true. Especially on long drives, I remember heading to Mt Kozzy a few times from Sydney and I felt somewhat safe having someone pretty much follow me all the way there. Then somehow we break apart and I start looking for someone else to fill the void.

    Ride with friends? An app to connect drivers on routes to build a convoy? I’ll take some royalties when you get the idea up and running

  • Daddy Chill on 08/04/2023 - 23:20
    +2

    Are you ok?

  • Dreamcast on 09/04/2023 - 00:06
    +1

    I reckon you could write a novel about this. Possibly even a movie deal!

  • mrhugo on 09/04/2023 - 00:07

    Is this real?

    Driving for hours interstate I rarely follow or am followed by someone for longer than 10 min. Usually I'll sit a few k's under the limit and people will just pass me. Others may stay in my wake, but not for long. If I'm pushing a few k's over the limit, then I'm passing everyone else.

    I find this situation of someone following you for hours very unbelievable.

    I can understand this out in the country on the silver city highway, but not on something like highway 1.

    • AustriaBargain on 09/04/2023 - 08:45

      It's very real. The phenomena has been documented on Urban Dictionary since at least 2009 https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Speed%20Budd…

    • GrueHunter on 09/04/2023 - 10:49

      I find this situation of someone following you for hours very unbelievable.

      "It hasn't happened to me so it can't possibly have happened to anybody else anywhere in the history of driving"

      I've never personally witnessed a head on highway smash before

      Guess what's a thing that happens

  • John Dough on 09/04/2023 - 07:54
    +1

    Radar based cruise control combined with laziness and/or lacking the will or ability to overtake is the biggest reason for this behaviour.

  • May4th on 09/04/2023 - 08:30
    +2

    would you have preferred if you followed you home and pulled into your driveway, could go any number of ways

  • El cheepo on 09/04/2023 - 09:44

    The only time that ever happens is when the car in front is doing 15-20 over the limit and I’m sitting 500 meters back using them as my warning for patrol cars 🫣

  • thepigs on 09/04/2023 - 15:55
    +1

    Happy Easter, speed buddy!

  • beefmaster on 09/04/2023 - 17:22

    Sad to say I know the feeling, but only affect me for 1 second and not sad enough to make a thead. I usually follow behind the fastest car so they act as a look out for police or speed camera. When we part I need to find another.

  • Windows7forever on 09/04/2023 - 19:10
    +2

    Do you like being tailgated? Does it give you a warm , fuzzy feeling in your heart?

  • Laziofogna on 09/04/2023 - 20:56
    +1

    Nothing that proper medication cannot fix

    • mafmouf on 10/04/2023 - 00:02

      Medication*

      FTFY

  • namanuu on 10/04/2023 - 01:54
    +1

    Austriabargain I enjoy your posts and your humour more then any other users posts I've seen thankyou and yes I totally identify with highway camaraderie and Costco chicken tension …

  • DiscoJango on 10/04/2023 - 09:23
    +1

    Does op feel this way in public toilets as well?

    Omg no! The person next to me is going, i will miss them dearly, so long pissing partner.

  • Ozstache on 10/04/2023 - 11:04

    Haha, I have experienced this a few times over the decades.

  • mitt on 10/04/2023 - 11:20

    These engagement boosting bots are getting damn good.

  • kaleidoscope on 10/04/2023 - 13:40

    And sure enough you make your turn and they drive on by and you never see your highway buddy again

    To me this is when I feel relieved that the highway buddy isn't following me to my home to murder me.

  • Mumbles on 10/04/2023 - 16:56
    +1

    I miss them terribly :)

    When I am in the middle of a speeding pack I hate it when the car in front turns off. They're the rabbit that gets pinged by the Police lidar first. I hate it when the car behind me turns off cause they're the ones the highway patrol stops and chats with first.

    I do grow a sense of comraderie with like minded drivers if they are considerate (ie. not tail gaiting). Otherwise its the opposite and I can't wait to shake them.

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