Recommendations for "Parental Controls" for Kids Laptops (and Other Devices)

chewbot on 05/12/2022 - 12:48
Last edited 05/12/2022 - 12:52

'Hi,

So, basically I just got my 12 year old his BYOD for next year (Surface Laptop 4) and am a bit concerned about how much trouble he could get himself into (or how troubled he could become from what he sees). I also have a 14 year old daughter who already has a laptop but it wasn't as big a concern for her. However, it would be great to somewhat include her in whatever restrictions I roll out.

Obviously, the biggest thing is to be having regular conversations and be involved in their lives, including (at least to some extent) their online lives. But for my son I think it is going to be good to have some extra management tools involved as he is ….. "impulsive" and "sensitive" (probably both ADHD and ASD).

They both also have/will soon have iphones and ipads.

What I have had so far:
Some very basic restrictions at the router level (Asus RT-AC68U).
Some restrictions on the ipads via the apple parental control stuff

What I would like:
To be able to place restrictions on:
- the type of sites they can access
- how much time they are spending on the screens overall
- what times of day they can use the screens
- ideally be able to apply sublimits to different types of apps/websites
- ideally be able to easily extend the limits temporarily
-gps tracking of devices would be good (particularly if this helps with keeping track of lost devices as well)

I don't think I want to know who they message or call. I certainly don't want to see the content of the messages. Having said that, if there was the option to turn that feature on down the track should a situation warrant it, that might be a bonus.

Having one overall control would be great but I would be happy to have one for the laptops, one for apple stuff, plus some basic router level stuff for the wifi.

I realise that there will be ways they can get around these things if they really try, but am aiming for more of a reminder of rules/guidelines.

  • Options I am considering:

A hodgepodge of Apple parental control and Microsoft Family Safety level restrictions. Not sure how easy this will be as he will have a Windows 11 laptop and i have a Windows 10 (as does his sister).

or

A dedicated "net nanny" style service. I feel a bit icky about that though. I would like it if it was part of an overall endeavor to make our whole family's digital life more "secure". For example, part of a security package that includes antivirus etc.

I was seriously considering the Kaspersky option as this seems to tick most (but not all) of my boxes but various organizations have raised concerns about them because…. well it's Russian I guess. Not sure how valid those concerns are. But the "safe kids" is included in their premium option for the first year.

https://www.kaspersky.com.au/premium

https://www.kaspersky.com.au/safe-kids

I'm keen to hear anyone else's experiences with it or similar services.

I'm keen to hear about peoples experiences using Microsoft Family Safety.

I'm also keen to hear other alternative solutions?

Thanks,
Chewbot.

Computing Computer Laptop Parental Control

Comments

  • Quantumcat on 05/12/2022 - 13:02
    +2

    If he is probably ADHD and ASD are you in the process of getting him assessed so he can get medication and therapy?

    • hornoscous on 05/12/2022 - 13:53

      ahhh yes the ozparenting forums again… you do realise not all people with ADHD need medication or therapy? and also… the medical diagnosis of his son is quite frankly none of your business.

      • Switchblade88 on 05/12/2022 - 14:26

        the medical diagnosis of his son is quite frankly none of your business

        Generally correct, however the OP brought it up because it is indeed a relevant part of the discussion at hand.

        you do realise not all people with ADHD need medication or therapy

        Also correct.

        Quantumcat has a valid query, although the results of meds & diagnoses will be independent of the parental control solutions they're looking for.

      • Quantumcat on 05/12/2022 - 23:24
        +1

        Whether he needs treatment is up to his doctor / psychologist / psychiatrist. But it would be cruel to remove the chance to get it if he needs it. If he is never assessed he will never have the chance to find out if treatment or therapy would help him. If it is determined that treatment / therapy would be of little to no gain, then that's fine, and nothing has been lost by investigating.

    • chewbot on 05/12/2022 - 14:49
      +1

      Hi. Perhaps I shouldn't have put that in but it seemed possibly relevant to the scope of the discussion.

      Long story short, pediatric mental and developmental health is woefully under resourced at the moment around Brisbane particularly for his age group. Yes. Assessment and therapy is somewhat underway but progress delayed owing to more acute concerns that, albeit almost definitely related, need to be dealt with in order not to give false positives.Tentative diagnosis and ever changing trial treatment are part of our everyday lives.

  • dan0909 on 05/12/2022 - 13:30
    +1

    You will need to use multiple solutions for this.
    -I use R.O.B.E.R.T by windscribe to block malware, ads, porn, social networks fake news sites etc + it also has a manual option to block websites list that you don't want kids to go to. Been using it for 3 years. Not expensive, recommend it. (this is a paid/
    premium option)
    - at basic level you want to set your DNS in modem/router to Adguard Family safe DNS. this is free & helps reduce ads + blocks porn etc. (this is a free option)
    - how much time they spend on device can be setup on the device itself (or may be with Apple/Microsoft Family options). There are apps that can manage this (search app store - test drive & see which one you like)
    - most phones/tablet devices have find my device options so set it up
    - A few years ago an IT guy from high school told me about the things they use to block a lot of stuff from school internet. That was very helpful (a bit costly than above solutions) but i did once have similar settings at home to daughter's high school.

    • Buttocks on 05/12/2022 - 13:52

      Thanks for heads up and detailed reply.

    • chewbot on 05/12/2022 - 15:01

      Thanks. I'll have a look into R.O.B.E.R.T.

      The rest of what you've said is a good summary of what we have to varying extents been doing. I guess the addition of another device/account etc has just made me re-evaluate if I should be doing it a better way.

  • mskeggs on 05/12/2022 - 13:46

    I’m glad you recognise the tools are not a substitute for appropriate parenting.
    I actually don’t rate any of the software tools, they are just flags to tell your kid you don’t trust them, and a challenge to beat.

    Is it an option to say “you need to use your device in the kitchen/family room”? Can you make it a rule the devices are on charge in the lounge room after 9pm or whenever until morning? These simple sort of rules require daily effort, but I think are worth it.

    • chewbot on 05/12/2022 - 14:56

      That has been similar to where how we have approached things previously. They are the type of solutions that have largely worked well for us in the past. But as they get older and spend more time in other environments (school, school related extracurricular, non-school related extra curricular, friends houses, public transport) and across more different devices for more varied purposes it is becoming increasingly impractical and limiting.

      • mskeggs on 05/12/2022 - 14:59

        Good luck with any out of home controls. I think you just have to message your expectations and count on the parenting you have done up till now to result in some common sense.

  • Loot N Plunder on 05/12/2022 - 13:46
    -1

    The firs thing you should do is put all the devices in a common room and actually do some parenting and not solely rely on hardware/software as the solution.

  • Buttocks on 05/12/2022 - 13:50

    Great question chewbot. In similar position with 12yo with BYOD Laptop for next year. Thanks for asking as I was also wondering how to protect. Have started to now research R.O.B.E.R.T.

  • EightImmortals on 05/12/2022 - 14:43

    When ours were younger we setup up a family DNS on the router, I think it was OpenDNS which blocked most of the nasties.

  • Baa on 05/12/2022 - 15:25

    I think the issue is once kids reach a certain age they will always find a workaround whatever solution you put in place if they really want to get there.

    While my kids are young (7 and 6) and have some heavily moderated PC / tablet time I do think about what comes next, and from past experience I believe one of the better options would be to have computers used in a common space (and not sitting in there room).

    That being said I use NextDNS right now (simple guide on their parental controls for example https://help.keenetic.com/hc/en-us/articles/4417990202258-In….)

    This just stops them finding ways to get to websites they know they are not supposed too. We have a HTPC in the family room and looking at the stuff my 7 year old looks up in google search history is already concerned enough, especially with all the helpful autofill questions. It is not foolproof but it is something!

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