End-of-Life and Funeral Expenses

Pumpkin_rrr on 20/08/2022 - 14:07

Just had the unfortunate event of witnessing someone from final days through to the funeral and got me thinking…
We are very good in identifying good deals and find the best service, value for money.
How about funerals and prior to that, medical arrangements and palliative care?
What do people do, do we know how much is required, what are the surprises when you are gone and your next-of-kin is left with the agony having to deal with finances, on top of the death itself?

This is not something we are familiar with, and not something we'd discuss at dinner table….:-(

Home & Garden

Comments

  • apsilon on 20/08/2022 - 14:18
    +2

    Burial/cremation plots. If you want the plot in a particular cemetery, garden, whatever then book it now. They not only fill up but prices rise significantly over time.

    Had to deal with this earlier in the year. They wanted a particular section close to other relatives but couldn't get it as that section was full, closest to it the price started at $80k as had to commit to a full monument build in that section. Was fortunately able to get the next best thing near other relatives in the same cemetery but even those prices had risen 20 fold since the last relative ~15 years ago. Booked another plot right next to it at the same time to secure the spot and price.

  • Awoke on 20/08/2022 - 14:20
    +2

    We leave it til we needed and then succumb to the pressures and pay whatever they demand. Coz we are dumb. Me included in that.

  • MS Paint on 20/08/2022 - 14:21
    +21

    Thankfully a dear elderly family member who is currently end of life wants cremation and no funeral.

    She is the real ozbargainer and not wasting money after her passing.

    She prefers her grandkids to have a head start financially than spending money on someone who is dead.

    • Lovemydeals on 20/08/2022 - 17:30

      That is a great way of thinking.
      Did you all see the A Current Affair episode recently with the funeral service had the wrong body, (initially they tried to tell the lady's daughter the body was her mothers & only with photo evidence did they agree & then pressured them to continue the service).

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8lh9udNwvls

      Imagine how many times this has happened to other families?

      Agree that a cheaper thing may be to have the gathering at home & cremation.

  • AustriaBargain on 20/08/2022 - 14:24
    +13

    My body is being donated to medical school, where first year students will get to dissect it for education I guess. If they use my body then they will pay for cremation afterwards.

    • [Deactivated] on 20/08/2022 - 15:55
      +1

      you might be preserved in thin slices, or preserved mostly whole and just dried out, i remember seeing some tv show which had a woman who had her entire body preserved for medical purposes, it sounded like old, thick parchment (which it was, i suppose) being crinkled when they touched her

    • Lovemydeals on 20/08/2022 - 17:32
      +1

      How did you organise that?

      (If sensitive, please do not answer following question): are your family members aware of your wishes?

      • AustriaBargain on 20/08/2022 - 17:48
        +1

        Call universities in your city. Google keywords, they might have a webpage up about it.

      • sam-1966 on 20/08/2022 - 18:19
        +3

        Feel free to message me if you want more info.

        Sam

    • sam-1966 on 20/08/2022 - 17:35
      +11

      My parents made this arrangement shortly after they got married in 1963. When mum was getting to 'that' stage, I got in touch with the University of Qld Body Donor Program staff and talked to them - they were amazing. They had trouble finding mum's file as when they'd made the donation arrangement they were filed together and then the files were later separated - they said this had been an issue, particularly when when person has passed and been accepted the file was archived, and then the partner passed they couldn't locate the file…

      Anyway, mum passed and they handled it beautifully and her body accepted. Her body was 'used' (I cannot think of a better term at the moment) in the cadaver program for medical students and we got a call from a crematorium to say that her ashes were ready for collection.

      We didn't have a funeral, but instead had a memorial type celebration (or wake!) with friends.

      Planning on doing the same with my body.

      • kiitos on 21/08/2022 - 09:49

        That sounds like it went as your mum had wanted, that's good.

        Can I ask what did you do with the ashes? Did you get a plot in a memorial garden? Or something else?

        • sam-1966 on 21/08/2022 - 11:26
          +1

          We scattered them on a high tide in a spot she loved to visit, as she wanted. We were lucky that we had had 'the discussion' with both of our parents.

  • garetz on 20/08/2022 - 14:26
    +4

    In the old days people would buy funeral plots when they got married and it would be there as a reminder that you are going to end up in the ground sooner or later so live your life the best you can.

    Nowadays noone cares and leaves it to the next of kin to take care of it after they pass.

    • Benoffie on 20/08/2022 - 15:07

      If you know you want to be buried, buying now is a wise choice. City plots are still available sub $20k. They will easily be sold out or $50k+ in coming years (Adelaide pricing)

  • try2bhelpful on 20/08/2022 - 14:28
    +4

    With my mother we had a small ceremony, had her cremated and found an out of the way place to release her ashes into the sea.

    My other half has been instructed to get the cheapest box he can, get me cremated then go out and have a great party.

  • SydStrand on 20/08/2022 - 14:43
    +1

    Just don't be like this OP complaining about $380 for pet cremation.

  • Benoffie on 20/08/2022 - 15:05
    +4

    We discuss it all the time. We purchased a 2 for 1 cremation deal from Adelaide Cemeteries a few years back which has no expiry.
    Smart money is pre paying cremation and keeping money for a funeral in a savings account. Alternatively, pre paid is ok as it's tied to funeral bonds. Personally I would avoid the big corporates and go family/small business.
    Coffins are available at Costco or your local Men's Shed. Coffins or Caskets are not a legal requirement if you're in a lining/bag.
    Minimise costs by opting out of the ludicrous amounts of flowers, pamphlets etc.
    Pre purchase alcohol. I have a nice stash of whisky for my wake. I have funds set aside for a wake too.
    Frankly, so long as a priest/minister/whoever is there to bless you on the way out, family can do the rest.

    • ihbh on 20/08/2022 - 16:36
      +4

      Smart money is pre paying cremation … has no expiry

      What if they go out of business?

  • screensaver on 20/08/2022 - 15:22
    +1

    Fortunately funeral insurance now covers all you pay in, so you get it al back, and possibly more, depending on death date. (Check policy first) I have palliative care in my bronze health insurance, they have private and public units.

    • kiitos on 21/08/2022 - 10:10

      I didn't realise palliative care can be covered by health insurance. Is there a big difference between public and private palliative care? I presume so based on the difference between public and private hospitals.

      • sam-1966 on 21/08/2022 - 17:48
        +1

        My mother's palliative care was in a public hospital and was just amazing, can't imagine better service anywhere else.

        I think it is a particular service that would be equal in most settings.

      • screensaver on 21/08/2022 - 23:02

        public hospitals seem to get full, so its good to have options

  • [Deactivated] on 20/08/2022 - 15:51

    it cost us about 10 - 20 k for the funeral and cremation, i can't exactly remember, but in that ballpark.

    no funeral plot, just the ashes. i plan to release them at some point, which is what i want for myself as well. it may not make a difference, but who wants to be buried for eternity? add on top of that the uncertain future in which the cemetery might have to be moved in the future (probably in the not too distant future if we continue our trend of building suburban nightmares everywhere) and you end up wasting your money for nothing.

    some unpleasant surprises are the differing wishes of family members, one side of the family wanted a big shindig with lots of people, the other side (including me) just wanted a small service with close family and friends. i wish it had just been close family and friends.

  • cnmarine on 20/08/2022 - 16:02
    +1

    Buy an inner city plot as soon as possible, as the only way for the price to go is up.

  • SBOB on 20/08/2022 - 16:47
    +2

    We went though this recently for a family member.
    There was no requirement for any funeral or organised gathering, and even with the most simple of cremation requirements I found the pricing varied immensely
    Ended up using a (ozbargain approved named) valuecremations.com.au
    Price varies by state/area, but in NSW there's not much under $2k
    The same service through less 'streamlined' alternatives or funeral suppliers ranged from $2k to $8k for effectively the same service and end result

  • sam-1966 on 20/08/2022 - 17:41
    +2

    When my grandmother died, we had a discussion about her ashes. My grandfather's ashes had been placed in 'the wall' at a crematorium, but my cheap uncles didn't buy a double niche. It would have cost $1800 to buy another niche, well away from his.

    They weren't getting on well when they died, so the daughters (my mum and aunt) did as I suggested (a miracle!) and got grandad's ashes from the wall and scattered both sets of ashes in the small town where the lived when first married and had kids. And took flowers from their gardens (whenever they'd visit Grandma with flowers she'd get upset that they'd spent money)… they went to the local river and scattered the ashes from each side of the river.

    Then went to the 'flash' restaurant in town that was built in the house that Grandad's parents had lived in… wait staff stunned when they said it was the best meal they'd ever had there after explaining the history.

    • srhardy on 21/08/2022 - 09:30
      +2

      Ive expressed my wishes to be cremated and then to have the remains gnomed! Everyone can take home a gnome for the garden and the money saved spent on a flashy meal, drink and maybe accomodation! I have the small hope one will get stolen and taken on amazing adventures so that in death, as in life it could be full of such surprises!

      One of the gnomes I want cemented into the corner of my older brothers grave, he died before he was 2. Ive always taken care of my younger brothers and sisters so it would be nice to think he wasnt alone, or felt forgotten because he wasnt!

  • Melencir on 21/08/2022 - 07:02

    😂 can't afford a place when I'm alive, can't afford a place for when I'm dead

    • srhardy on 21/08/2022 - 09:24
      +1

      for free the government will cremate you, no ceremony and return ashes to nominated person(s)
      leave your body to science you often get a free cremation at the end as thanks but it can be years before all the bits are so cremated!

  • reactor-au on 21/08/2022 - 07:57
    +1

    Hole in the backyard.

    • srhardy on 21/08/2022 - 09:25

      Council rules often for bid it.

      Unless your claiming nannas centrelink, then good luck with that!

      • kiitos on 21/08/2022 - 11:14

        Burying a body, sure, but for ashes?

      • [Deactivated] on 21/08/2022 - 12:16
        +2

        what they don't know won't hurt them

  • srhardy on 21/08/2022 - 09:22
    +1

    https://bare.com.au/

    Prepaid basic funerals, cremation only with or without a celebrant that you can prepay off now. Money is held in a BOND @LIFEPLAN AUSTRALIA (think its part if AU Unity Financial) ~ basic is all you need. The remains are returned to the family or nominated person for disposal (scattering or in a locked safety box that can be stored, displayed or burried) ~ you can also ask a funeral home about plans… personally I hate funerals, if avoiding my own was an option I would, but apposed to granting wishes, BARE is a good choise for those that can afford to save <$3k for it…. PS: why a BOND, well inflation. Save it today and when you croak it will have gone up in cost but savings remain unaffected.

  • Sensiekatie on 21/08/2022 - 12:02

    My mother and step-father had prepaid their funeral. One was to be buried and the other cremated. The price they paid was a lot cheaper than what it would have cost had we paid at the time of death. I would prefer this to funeral insurance as some of those companies have bad reputations.

    For myself, I am quite impressed with the concept of Bare cremations.

    I worked in palliative care and had an interest in advance care planning for end of life. It's a conversation everyone should have and should include a discussion about organ donation.

    Most wait until they have a terminal diagnosis but this is no help when someone dies suddenly without the illness leading up to death. Then there are those that are dying but their loved ones don't want to talk about it with them because they cannot accept that the loved one is dying. You see it all when working in this area. So many familes who had no idea what their deceased loved one actually wanted. Then there are those who choose to ignore the departed's wishes.

  • pencilhead on 21/08/2022 - 12:12
    +1

    My father left his body to science.
    The university had a memorial to him and others the next year.

  • Ozsheila on 21/08/2022 - 15:05

    My mother died suddenly back in February. Death took place in a private hospital. Within half an hour of her passing hospital were hassling us for name of funeral director as they had no morgue on site. Have to say I was already not at all happy with the hospital, this just took it to another level. My brother & I both reside abroad & my father was in denial about mums death so it literally came down to choosing a local FD via a Google search. So from then on we were committed to those FD costs. (Unfortunately only read about bare.com.au afterwards.)
    On reading mums Will over course of following 24 hours discovered she had left no wishes regarding her funeral. Had only been re-written last year too; surprised solicitor hadn’t insisted that she include her funeral wishes. Two nieces advised that she had said she did not want funeral so we went with that (still don’t know whether we did right thing).
    We had a small elegant memorial for mum at home (Covid times & I had flown in from London so several people inc some family members did not want to attend) and mum was cremated the following week without any of us in attendance. Cost $5.5K. Ashes will be scattered at some point in the future; another decision to make regarding where.
    Experience forced OH & I to update our Wills with our funeral (or otherwise) wishes. Our 3 kids all received copies of our Wills & we have spoken to them about our wishes.

  • Pumpkin_rrr on 22/08/2022 - 13:49

    Wow, thank you so much for your generous sharing, I have quick-read them all and will read in more detail when I have more time/calm.
    This is such an emotional and personal affair, C'est la vie!

  • Gros21 on 27/08/2022 - 12:21

    Ok my mother passed last year after having an aggressive cancer (or cancer that agressivle spread alot before it was picked up) 6 months later she passed she was 62.

    So nothing was prepped within a month or 2 she wasn't her self. So i did plan stuff before she passed which i felt is morbid but spoke to another family member whos father has cancer and she did the same. Im glad i did

    We decided to cremeate her a spot at the crematiourium was $2000ish (i chose a 'Higher" end option) no on going fees (as i had no idea how this works)
    Funeral was a basic ceremony was arround 7k held at cematorium and they organised the minister (if thats the correct term for them) and every thing else. This was not so much a pick your options from a catalogue but rather tayled to me and her eg was she regelious, was she a formal or informal person so forth.

    We had a lovely female minister that called emailed and after chatting to her recommended some song options. Offered any special services (mother loved frangpanis which are not a normal folwer option so she hunted some down)

    Werid things i didnt know were an option (or didnt think off) there is a option to keep some/all the ashes there is 10000 urns to choose from and you can even make keep sake jewerly from it.
    Caskets there were many options but were basicly almost like a fantasic furniture option choose wood type, gold or silver fittings and limings were 2 options.
    They will ask if you want a open or closed casket.
    they will ask do you wish to carry the casket to the car with pole bearrers or they can sort it out.

    Alot of places will also offer free wake hosting we simply purchased a few platters at the local leagues club.

    But ask away

    You can orgainise it in 15-30 minutes but alot of things stumped me and some decisions i felt i needed to asked other family members.
    funeral home will/can organise everything venue/flowers/minister

    will need to know rough number of guests

    allow 1-2hrs talking to the minister to fine tune things songs booklet lay out

    7k-10k is normal for a basic package. you can use the persons money to pay for this (check exact terms ect ect)

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