Hey parents of OzB
I’ve got a 2.5 y.o. Toddler who we haven’t begun toilet training. Both my folks and in laws think we should try with him but I’m not sure how to if he can’t communicate with us verbally.
Anyone else been in this position and succeeded?
Thanks for that it’s really helpful.
What’s the oh crap method??
It's a book - https://fb2bookfree.com/uploads/files/2020-10/1602533219_oh-…
Basic premise is the first day you have them in no pants. The feeling of wee running down their leg is very noticeable and unpleasant. You teach them to sit on the potty and do it there. 2nd day you put them in loose shorts that are easy to pull up and down. If they have an accident they'll still feel it. 3rd day you try underwear and pants, making sure they are loose ones just with elastic, no buttons or anything so they can pull them down easily. If they don't master a step you may need to keep them there for another day. If you move on too fast, when they're in underwear it will feel like a nappy and there's less unpleasantness when they wee so they can skip knowing it should go in the potty and just end up behaving like they are in a nappy and make you clean up loads of accidents every day (not fun).
If they get upset about doing number 2s on the potty or toilet (the splash can scare them as can the fact a solid thing is leaving their body not staying with them, they think some of the body is falling off) try reading them Poo Goes To Pooland (an app) which helps make it more normal. And you can do number 2 in front of them and show them how you flush and say goodbye to Mr Poo (gross I know) so it is normal. Sometimes kids think pooing only happens to them, there's something wrong with them and it is something to be scared of or freak out about. So if you let them see you do it they'll realise it is something that happens to everyone and it is normal.
Mate this is brilliant. Didn’t know it existed. Thanks for this
Just because they can't talk doesn't mean they don't understand you.
I think the tricky thing is then they can't say "wee is coming" etc
True. But finding it hard to explain potty time
Kids are praise vultures. We made a potty chart and stuck it low on the wall where our child did the business. Big gold stars (like 20c coin size)
When he used the potty, we made a big deal out of it - lets get another gold star and stick it to the chart. Yay! After 5 or 10 (can't remember) we made an even bigger deal, like he was levelling up (we had symbols at the end of each row). Kids eat that s$%t up.
Very true. But I’m not sure he’s quite there yet with understanding praise. 😔
I remember we trained in summer, so it was perfectly fine to have him naked and popped him on the potty whenever we saw the first bit of wee. And kept explaining it as we did it
We got the cheap kid toilet from IKEA and start putting them onto it before bed and right after they wake up, we start doing this at 2yo.
By 3 years old , my kids don't wear nappy at home and after a few accident they are set. Occasionally, they leak as they hold it till too late. The night nappy still need to put on until 3.5 years old.
They all fully trained before 4yo
I don't mean to offend but your toddler can't talk at 2.5 years old? Would it be worth checking if your child has any learning difficulties?
No offence taken. Had him checked. The person who checked his hearing was also a speech pathologist. Just a slow developer.
Positive could be, if he has no additional needs, maybe he is developing physically first before he gets going on language. Which could mean he'll be faster at potty training?
I wish! He rolled at 9 months and walked at 18 months lol
@bemybubble: Oh well at least he stayed where you put him for a while 😂
Best of luck with training!!!!
@Quantumcat: is there a potential he is communicating in other ways other than words? I mean this in the kindest way. All kids develop differently.
My neice is just about 14 months and whileobviously she can't talk, I know her signals for hungry, thirsty, take me the F outside bish,I wanna see the birds. She tells her mum when she wants milk by pointing at the rocking chair etc
So what I'm getting at, is there a possibility he is already sending signals, or to train him for signals?
that being said, I'm not a parent and have no idea how old they should be to start potty training
@CheapskateQueen: Yeah that's why I said OP could use a hand signal or something like tugging on their sleeve
It does mean that OP has to watch his son like an absolute hawk and can't be say looking at a book or cooking and hear the child call out "I Need Weeeeee!" and run over. It will be harder without that but not impossible
Started training my son at 1.5y. Had a potty in the shower and every time when water would start running he would do a wee and we had to catch that moment and sit him on a potty. That how it all started. Did similar with a poo and by the time he turned 2.5y he stopped wearing nappies.
That’s amazing!!!
Our grand daughter was taught sign language until she was able to talk.
With the basic language ,she was able to communicate her toilet needs so training was easier
I had a niece that was taught sign language. It was amazing! They could communicate more from such a young age. More food, water, milk.
Definitely hoping to do this for future children.
Find what motivates them.
If you have no way to lead them, then catch the act.
Motivate them towards the correct action in increments.
Don't show frustration, anger, or punish. They are not being malicious! Patience and positivity is key.
Applies to animals too.
In this case, I'd give them soup(?) Or something with a lot of water and play in the bathroom with them for the next week. You will see signs of whimper, odd movement, etc, then put them on potty asking them to go pee. Then reward them. Set up reward milestones, ie pee on potty first time, walk to potty first time, walk to potty from other adjacent room, etc. :)
Apologies, slight hijack…at out wits end with our 2.5 year old son.
He won't poo. He holds it in for days and days (longest has been a week?), slightly soiling 3+ nappies a day with tiny Vegemite-spread-like stains until he can't hold it in anymore and passes one or more big ones in a short time frame.
Pretty sure it's mostly psychological, because I think a few months ago he was constipated and had a difficult time with one movement that resulted in a lot of pain, since then he says he's too scared to poo.
We've tried
next step is GP I suppose, for suppositories or enemas (I assume?) any suggestions before we go down that path?
Didn't have any issues with our daughter when she was the same age.
This information sheet is very helpful:
https://www.rch.org.au/kidsinfo/fact_sheets/Constipation/
Please see your GP anyway because there are also some medical causes to exclude and other medications that can be tried if necessary
This seems to be him!
Holding-on behaviour – a child may begin to ‘hold on’ after a painful or frightening experience, such as doing a hard poo when they have anal fissures. Holding on further hardens the poo, and makes the next bowel movement even more painful.
See a GP, get him on something like osmolax so that he has good experiences for a long time then you can wean him off. Once it's traumatic it can be hard to get them to want to let go again.
Recommendation by Dr was to go nappyless then undies. There will be few mishaps then all good. Nappies for overnight, just incase.
By way of update - saw a speech pathologist and they aren't worried. They explained 20% of kids can have a speech delay. 15% of that 20% naturally work out and the other 5% require additional help. Doing a program to assist my son.
Most importantly we were able to still toilet train our son! Speechy was super impressed by that. So if you have kids that can't talk yet I can personally say that toilet training can still work :)
Thanks again for everyone's contribution to this post it was appreciated.
There's no point starting before they are ready. Just means you will be cleaning up accidents until they were ready anyway. Nappies are easier. Don't let your parents pressure you. Boys take longer than girls to be ready and it is quite common for boys to be 3 or 3.5 before they're ready.
Once he is ready try the Oh Crap method and you can have it done in a long weekend.
If you really do think he is ready (can hold on for a long period of time to do big wees rather than lots of little ones over the day, indicates to you when he wants to be changed, goes somewhere private/hides to do number 2) you could try the Oh Crap method this long weekend (June 14 I think). If you don't have good success you can leave it a few months and try again another time. Also it is ok if he can't speak, as long as he has good understanding and can communicate with you somehow. You could get him to tell you when he wants to go by tugging at your sleeve or have a hand signal or an easy word he can say (in the beginning you'll be looking at him and plonking him on the potty when you see he needs to go so you won't need to worry about him communicating at the beginning anyway)