Please Critque My Resume! Thank you!

ayad on 22/05/2021 - 17:26
Last edited 24/05/2021 - 13:31

Hi all!

I am looking for constructive feedback on my resume as I am planning to move interstate for a new… life i suppose. Good help would be greatly appreciated. Feel free to ask any questions.

Additionally, if you have general advise for greatly improving my resume if it wasn't for my specific field, I would appreciate that too.

Thank you in advanced!

EDIT: I have used the feedback to comprise my new resume!! Please have a look for additional feedback: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1_h0E7Q-o30-IKQPTRevqX3tpQfl…

Education & Work Resume

Comments

  • garetz on 22/05/2021 - 17:52
    -1

    A resume has alot of personal information in it, you sure you just want to post it to a public forum like this ?

    • ayad on 22/05/2021 - 18:28
      +6

      I'm guessing you haven't yet looked at it? I X'ed out all the personal information bits

  • MSG on 22/05/2021 - 17:55
    +14

    Don't put references on your resume. Only give it out after interviews.

    • ayad on 22/05/2021 - 18:28

      Very interesting. Can I ask why/benefits?

      • jjjaar on 22/05/2021 - 19:24
        +11

        You don’t want your referees to get hassled or risk being spammed (especially if it’s just for an agency - they often they contact the referees to ask if they too want to move roles).

        Also, you might not want to approach referees within your current org until you get offered an interview.

      • Miami Mall Alien on 22/05/2021 - 19:48
        +13

        Can I ask why/benefits?

        Because you may jeopardise your job security with your current employer if word gets around to senior management/directors that you're looking for another job.

        You can't predict how it will be perceived nor what action they make take against you; e.g. putting you on performance management, pre-emptive dismissal, demotion, saddling you with additional responsibilities while they can, demanding you assist in the recruiting/training of a replacement or just making your life hell in general, etc. None of these outcomes are unheard of when employers get wind of their employees' desire to leave.

        Don't believe any niceties or reassurances from managers/directors that they won't take it badly that you want to leave.

        Unless you absolutely trust your referees 100% in your current job and know that they would never disclose your intentions to anyone else, especially management/directors, then leave referees off your resume.

        You only give referees after you've had an interview and never of your own accord, normally you'll be asked to give them when it's clear you've been shortlisted or are the favoured candidate and even then, any prospective employer with a bare minimum of decency should inform you before they contact your references.

        It's also a good opportunity for you to tell your referees that someone will be getting in touch with them in the coming days, as some reference checks can be pretty extensive and not everyone has time to spend an hour or more on the phone answering questions (especially during work hours). Some employers also opt to send out multi-page questionnaires to referees via email as well, and these can take a while to complete too.

        In any case, if you've been asked to submit referees, you should definitely run through some key points/facts about yourself, your skillset and your career history with your referees so they can actually formulate decent, convincing answers to any questions a prospective employer throws at them. It's no good having referees that you're great friends with but who know absolutely nothing about what you do on a day-to-day basis or how valuable you are to your employer or instances where you've saved their asses or performed above and beyond what was expected of you.

        Any prospective employer that demands referees up-front before the interview phase is not worth the hassle nor the risk to your current employment and you should strongly evaluate whether prospective job is actually worth giving referees for. If you find out during the interview that the job is not as it was originally described, or you don't like the impression of the company/staff you saw or have any other reservations, there's no point giving away referees if you're not actually going to follow through on a potential job offer from them.

      • dizzle on 22/05/2021 - 21:08
        +7

        I would suggest the "References on request" phrase on any resumes you send out, but then have a printed one with references that you can hand over at interviews.

        That way they know your not afraid to give out references (ie you have bad references), and that you're prepared ahead of them asking for them.

  • dandosr on 22/05/2021 - 17:58
    +3

    Rates are normally negotiated afterwards? Unless this is an industry specific rate? Also I wouldn't have work experience that doesn't relate to your current role such as retail and warehouse employee? Nice interests… star gazing and boxing.

    • ayad on 22/05/2021 - 18:30

      There's an EBA that somewhat reflects an industry standard for my current level of experience. I should probably take it out and leave it for negotiations?

      Noted. I'll be more specific to the job. Does it lose points to keep it in there though?

      and thanks!

      • robbyjones on 22/05/2021 - 19:23
        +5

        Yes, absolutely loses you points, unless it is a quirky industry thing. You are doing yourself an injustice by showing your hand like that, if it's too much they may just pass you by, if it's too little they will either wonder why or you have sold yourself short.

        I did a lot of interviewing and you can never know what someone is looking for but this is a bit of a weird thing to include on a cover letter.

  • onetwothreefour on 22/05/2021 - 18:08
    +6

    *advice

    • ayad on 22/05/2021 - 18:31
      +1

      lol thanks

  • SF3 on 22/05/2021 - 18:10
    +4

    *Critique

    • ayad on 22/05/2021 - 18:31
      +1

      lol thanks

  • CyberMurning on 22/05/2021 - 18:17
    -1

    this is the first…..

    • ayad on 22/05/2021 - 18:33

      Unsure what you mean here

  • holdenmg on 22/05/2021 - 18:18
    +10

    Hi,

    Your cover letter comes across as a Generic Letter that you might send out to a list of Radiology Practices or Hospitals "I am seeking a Radiology position"

    You are almost guaranteed that by addressing it to/opening with:
    "To whom it may concern" it won't get read by the right person.

    Try and find out the Name of an Individual or just use Dear Sir/Madam…

    Later in your letter (in Paragraph 3) you say:
    "I believe these qualities have prepared me for your Radiology position"
    so this contraverts your initial opening that you are shopping for a Generic Vacancy and rather suggests there is a specific vacancy.

    I'd suggest you produce two letters, one for each circumstance. One for where you know there is a Vacancy and one where you are feeling out opportunities.

    In any case, get a name and use a name.

    • ayad on 22/05/2021 - 18:32

      Thank you for the direct advise. This is a bit generic yes but I would usually slot in the company name. Although In my opening line I will look for the direct person in future. Thank you!

  • serpserpserp on 22/05/2021 - 18:51
    +19
    1. Your cover letter needs to be tailored to every business you apply for. Yeah it is more work, but a generic letter will not cut it. Be hungry for the job and show you want to work at XYZ place by talking about why you want to work there.
    2. Don't put in your expected hourly rate.
    3. Drop page three and try and work in your attributes into your work history.
    4. In your work history talk about your ACHIEVEMENTS. No one will care about your Best & Less shop experience unless you actually achieved something. So if it was just a job to make money while you were at school or whatever, take it out. Flesh out your i-med experience, you have to talk about how great you are at that job and what extra things you are going to bring to the table.
    5. If you are going to talk about your published work in a journal, if you were not the lead author you are best to be very upfront about it here. If you were the lead author, maybe expand on what the paper was about if relevant to the field.
    6. If you got strong grades at Uni talk about it.
    7. Your volunteering experience might come across as a positive and often people put in more work about improving processes in a volunteering environment, talk about that here if you have that experience.

    To be honest a short sharp one pager of a CV + cover letter might work better than padding it out.

    Good luck and good on you for seeking feedback! Don't waste it!

    • robbyjones on 22/05/2021 - 19:26
      +6

      This is awesome advice and I second everything.

    • Miami Mall Alien on 22/05/2021 - 20:07
      +1

      In your work history talk about your ACHIEVEMENTS.

      This.

      Mention specific examples of major projects, works, milestones or instances where you performed above everyone's expectations and impressed the hell out of people.
      Talk in the first-person and describe exactly what actions you took to get something important done and don't refer to a collective "we" or an organisation or a team, but instead make yourself the centrepiece of some big accomplishment.

      And for God's sake, get rid of the key attributes/interests nonsense; no one outside of teenager retail workers and graduates applying for internships actually has that on their resume.

      You have an honours in Radiography and want to work in the medical field; not for a Jeanswest or a Wendy's.

      Everyone and their grandma claims they're punctual, hard-working and get along with people well.

    • ayad on 24/05/2021 - 11:58

      thank you! I have update my resume. Is this any better? https://drive.google.com/file/d/1_h0E7Q-o30-IKQPTRevqX3tpQfl…

  • FIVEDOLLAR on 22/05/2021 - 19:32
    +5

    Looks like a really poor resume from a typical grad/uni student.

    Cut out the second page from the resume. Almost useless.
    Not sure about your industry but cover letters are usually redundant now… Anyhow, your cover letter is super generic, your CV tells me more about you than reading your cover letter.

    I, myself, have also gains skills and knowledge working for 3 years. Lol

    I wouldn't put the volunteer part unless you don't have strong working experience or anything else to add.

    Also, you want things to be more readable BOLD your education AND uni in 1 line.
    Stop using 3 layers of bullet points…

    EDIT: also add dates in your working history.

    • Hybroid on 22/05/2021 - 19:37
      +2

      Completely agree with everything here. Listen to this advice.

    • Almost Banned on 22/05/2021 - 19:50
      +1

      Broadly agree the 2nd page is pointless - except the bilingual part.
      I think that fluency in a language other than English is a useful skill - but try to find a way to get it on page 1.

  • Miami Mall Alien on 22/05/2021 - 20:17
    +8

    OP, overall you need to be a little more dog-eat-dog, cynical, mature and assertive in the language of your resume.

    Your resume as it stands, screams: "I am a sucker, willing to be exploited and taken for a ride." Employers will either laugh you out the door or look at you with nefarious intent as your naivety is only an asset to them.

    Most resumes aren't actually read. They're scanned by HR software and then anyone who's flagged as interesting will be given a brief read-through and if you don't have what they're looking for within the first few paragraphs, then forget about it. 4 pages is WAY too long for someone with 3 years of experience. A resume should be 3 pages at the maximum and that's for people with a 10-20 year career behind them.

    • No salary expectations on a resume. That's just abnormal for any industry and you may potentially undersell yourself.
    • No childish key attributes/interests section. It just takes up valuable space and no cares.
    • As a general rule, avoid doing cover letters as they're completely redundant, unless the job ad explicitly says applications without cover letters won't be considered.
    • As mention before, you need specific examples of major projects/work/milestones/accomplishments. Don't talk in generalities about your communication/diligence/organisation; give specific examples or instances where you did something that will impress prospective employers.
    • Leave off any work experience not relevant to your post-graduate field (i.e. all of your work experience except your current Medical Imaging Technologist role, should be omitted).
    • Add the period of tenure for your current job (when you started working there).
    • serpserpserp on 22/05/2021 - 21:05
      +4

      As a general rule, avoid doing cover letters as they're completely redundant, unless the job ad explicitly says applications without cover letters won't be considered.

      Not at all. Most well paying jobs require a cover letter and this is where you can stand out from the pack. 95% in effort of every job application should be focused on this. Your experience section really only needs to be slightly altered for each application and after awhile you'll have a few version that you can interchange depending on the angle you are going for.

      The cover letter has to extremely well written and grab your attention from the beginning. It must not be long. Two paragraphs will get your message across, one more if the job advert specifically wants you to cover off on criteria for the job. Once the recruiter hits a top flight cover letter the rest of the resume is a tick and flick (to the interview pile) exercise.

      • Miami Mall Alien on 22/05/2021 - 22:09

        Not at all. Most well paying jobs require a cover letter and this is where you can stand out from the pack.

        I think that's more industry-dependent.

        In IT, cover letters don't count for much, for example. I've never in my +10 years in the industry ever bothered with a cover letter.

        • FIVEDOLLAR on 22/05/2021 - 22:56
          +2

          Yep…
          Half the guys in IT can't even write an email let alone a cover letter…

      • SlickMick on 23/05/2021 - 20:53

        Thank goodness for this. I have a standard resume, but spend many hours writing a cover letter that explains why I'm the best person for the job.
        I would cry to think that was a waste of effort. (and I'm in IT btw)

        If fact, I've applied for a copy of "expressions of interest" where all the employer would except was the equivalent of a cover letter.

    • ayad on 24/05/2021 - 11:59

      Updated: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1_h0E7Q-o30-IKQPTRevqX3tpQfl…
      I really appreciate the advice I tried to incorporate in in this new resume.

  • Mango1 on 22/05/2021 - 20:20
    +3

    Dont need to include your high school under education. The employer questions part of your cover letter is a bit weird, would remove that whole thing. AHPRA registration can be mentioned in your resume. Also add dates for the places youve worked.

  • bobbified on 22/05/2021 - 21:53
    +1

    As other have said already, your cover letter is too generic. It sounds like one of those that you will send to a stack of to random employers, like unsolicited mail. What you need to do is actually apply for specific roles that are advertised. That includes tailoring your cover letter to the requirements specified in each role and address it to the correct person.

    The format of your resume doesn't seem to be normal in the traditional sense either. The left hand column looks a bit weird and it's not necessary to repeat it on every page. You can put your personal information at the beginning of your resume and have a section with your interests at the end of the resume. It makes it easier to read and makes your information "flow" better. Besides the personal information section at the beginning, the order of the sections start with what is most relevant to the employer. Therefore, the work experience section should come before the education section.

    Also, I've learnt that it's never good to send out copies of your resume to a whole lot different employers in one go. Once you do that, you might lose the opportunity to make any tweaks and adjustments that you'll inevitably want to make. Often you look at it later and think "maybe I should take this out or move this around" to make it more relevant etc. So send it out one at a time and keep a record of who you've sent it to.

  • [Deactivated] on 22/05/2021 - 22:38
    +3

    The bullet points in your resume has inconsistent alignment. It might make the hiring person question your "conscientious with attention to detail" claim. The colour bar for the "interests" heading is also inconsistent. Make everything "look nice" as much as possible. Remove the interests section.

    Reword your cover letter so that it reads more fluidly. If you want, you can briefly mention something about the organisation and/or position and how you fit.

  • dasher86 on 22/05/2021 - 23:53
    +3

    The format of the resume will make it harder to scan.

    • Zachary on 23/05/2021 - 17:18

      well thats their fault then, shouldnt be scanning it in the first place, should be having someone read it not a computer scanning it….

      • dasher86 on 23/05/2021 - 17:34
        +4

        Sad reality is it doesn't matter if it's their fault or not. If it doesn't scan it doesn't get read. If it doesn't get read what do you think are the chances are of getting the job?

      • Ughhh on 23/05/2021 - 17:37
        +3

        Even if its their fault, you're the one losing out.

  • SlickMick on 23/05/2021 - 20:47

    Do you have major gaps in your employment? I'm assuming yes, given that you haven't included them in your employment history.

    Regarding formatting, I really don't like the blue bar down the side. I thought they were section headings at first, until I realsied it was a multi-frame page. I hate it on webpages, and I now I hate it on resumes :)

  • ayad on 24/05/2021 - 12:01

    Although it looks more plain, it should be more effective. Any additional feedback would be greatly appreciated: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1_h0E7Q-o30-IKQPTRevqX3tpQfl…

  • OzHunterNSW on 24/05/2021 - 13:29
    +1

    What duties did you perform in these positions? Delete selling yourself as trustworthy and honest. Simply state professional work ethics.
    Delete your pre-study working history.

  • ribze1 on 28/05/2021 - 23:24
    +3

    I see it as a one page CV now.

    My view (work in Finance, hiring manager).

    • two pages is the perfect length (do not go over, period)
    • use dot points, much easier to read. Your CV is very congested (hence moving from one to two pages). Formatting is my major issue with it
    • your address is not relevant, just name and contact details. If you have linkedin add that URL
    • cost per semester for your scholarship is irrelevant
    • drop the salutation (Mr)
    • utilise an 'objective' at the top of the CV if you are not writing a cover letter, it acts as a mini cover letter detailing why you want the role and what you will bring to it
  • TPR1234 on 22/09/2021 - 17:55
    -1

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  • th123 on 22/09/2021 - 20:21

    I think some of the role paragraphs are hard to read but here's my 2 cents

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