Grant a dying wish!

keys11 on 11/03/2021 - 23:01
Last edited 11/03/2021 - 23:13 by 1 other user

Hey guys - apologies for the misleading title (in a way)

My grandma has recently been diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer - unfortunately given 6-12 months left to live, she has a son living in Afghanistan at the moment who she has not seen for the last 15 years, as she has not been fit to travel. She thinks of her son every day and multiple times we have tried to bring him over on mutliple visas however all have been rejected due to a cognitive impairment that he suffers from.

She has a strong support network at home with multiple sons and daughters and grandchildren however has always wished to see her oldest son living away from her.

Now i know right now is the worst time to even think about bringing someone from overseas with how tough it is - even our own citizens cant get home - however i can only try and help grant my grandmas final wish - it cant hurt to try :(

I dont know where to start from as its my first time even thinking about it - but can anyone with any experience in the sector give me some advice or ideas on a pathway. I would very much appreciate it from one human to another.

Cheers Guys

Travel

Comments

  • Poppin on 11/03/2021 - 23:08
    +2

    Petition your local MP?

    • dust on 12/03/2021 - 09:09

      Do local PMs have the power to grant this?

      • AndyC1 on 12/03/2021 - 09:23
        +1

        No, but they can ask the right people the right questions and put pressure on people in government.

      • holdenmg on 12/03/2021 - 10:35
        +3

        If "our" PM were local, I'd move.

  • [Deactivated] on 11/03/2021 - 23:11
    +11

    I think you would have to find a soft neutral country for them both to go to.

    • jv on 12/03/2021 - 10:40
      +1

      Except she can't travel.

      The only way I can think of would be if her son was able to move to a country that might be one of the first ones allowed in any future travel bubbles, where people who have been vaccinated would be allowed to travel… But that might not be for another year.

      • [Deactivated] on 12/03/2021 - 12:34

        That won't make it easier for him to come to Australia.

        • jv on 12/03/2021 - 13:04

          Yes it will…

          When borders open, some countries will get priority over others for sure….

          • [Deactivated] on 12/03/2021 - 21:40
            +3

            @jv:

            mutliple visas however all have been rejected due to a cognitive impairment

            Doesn't seem like the visa is being denied because of where they are.

            Regardless, visas are granted based on your citizenship, not where you are coming from. Only the application process might differ based on your location.

            They could be in New Zealand, but if they're not a citizen or at least PR there, it won't make any difference.

            Potentially get a transit visa as that'd likely be easier, and travel to another country via Australia with a long transit like 9 hours. Have the mother get an international ticket, meet the son by the gates, but then not board her own flight and just go home at the end. The son would then travel on, and eventually return home himself.

            • jv on 12/03/2021 - 23:13
              -1

              @[Deactivated]:

              Regardless, visas are granted based on your citizenship, not where you are coming from.

              Travel bubbles will be based on location, not citizenship…

              • [Deactivated] on 13/03/2021 - 15:28
                +2

                @jv: Yes, but a travel bubble does not remove the need for a person to hold the appropriate visa to enter Australia.

                Without a visa to enter Australia, it does not matter where you are. They could be in New Zealand, and they still won't be allowed to come to Australia.
                Even without COVID being a thing, they still would not be able to get into Australia.

            • Quantumcat on 13/03/2021 - 15:38

              @[Deactivated]: Meeting at her local international airport is an excellent idea

  • Zachary on 11/03/2021 - 23:21

    vr

  • [Deactivated] on 11/03/2021 - 23:45
    +3

    Just checking for Afghanistan's most friendly countries, Turkey seems to be number 1. They have their own internal political turmoil to consider, but I would think they would be a choice where both 'might' be able to get to.

    UAE is also listed quite high. Towards the start of Covid they were still quite an open tourism destination. It's a long trip for an old, sick person, but geopolitically it is a serious option to consider.

    There are so many more considerations such as healthcare or repatriation costs if things go badly, but if I were trying to make this happen in this environment, that's where I would look. Geographically, maybe Thailand as that is closer to Australia.

    (Our family chose a safe boring treatment option for a dying relative and I wish we had chased their dream instead.)

    • keys11 on 12/03/2021 - 09:43

      Unfortunately she is not fit to travel - if she could i would of tried my best to organise it - thank you for the help:)

    • jv on 12/03/2021 - 23:14

      friendly countries, Turkey seems to be number 1.

      Hardly friendly, based on recent history…

      • [Deactivated] on 13/03/2021 - 08:46

        Both the Taliban and Afghan government chose Turkey to host their peace talks! It's the neutral near neighbour of choice.

    • bargain huntress on 13/03/2021 - 15:58

      @frugalrock
      regrets are the worst
      what was their dream?

      • [Deactivated] on 13/03/2021 - 22:20
        +1

        Basically to die where they had grown up…but half way through chemo (in yet another country) that would have been a certain death sentence. Instead the decision was made to return to Australia to complete the treatment. Over the next six months they never managed a single useful or enjoyable day anyway. Just drugged to the hilt or profound nausea.

        Thankfully it wasn't my decision to make, but in hindsight, I would choose the last wishes option as the responsible option just meant sickness through cancer treatment and there wasn't really any recovery to enjoy.

        • bargain huntress on 14/03/2021 - 17:01

          ugh i feel for you
          at least this:

          Thankfully it wasn't my decision to make

          how old were they (if you don't mind me asking)?

  • endotherm on 12/03/2021 - 01:14
    +2

    Facetime.

  • Morien on 12/03/2021 - 01:29
    +9

    I haven't looked into this outside of my own situation, and so any questions I ask may be ignorant, but…

    As she is not fit to fly, the only way would be to try to get him to come here. You could try to apply for a travel exemption for him on compassionate grounds. See here: https://travel-exemptions.homeaffairs.gov.au/tep

    Get mountains of evidence to support your claim. Doctor's notes, family photos, etc. Proof that your grandmother has been given a terminal diagnosis. Oh, and proof of funds to show that quarantine will be paid for, as will flights home.

    You might want to contact a lawyer, perhaps one that specialises with immigration as, although this would be a temporary stay, they may still be able to help. Perhaps ask this in a group like "TRAVEL EXEMPTION AUSTRALIA" on Facebook. YMMV.

    If your grandmother can survive a flight, then do all of this, but for her.

    I am sorry for the difficult news. I sincerely hope that she will see her son again.

    • keys11 on 12/03/2021 - 09:47

      Thank Morien for the advice - ill get on to it as soon as possible. i very much so appreciate the help.

  • morse on 12/03/2021 - 05:14
    +6

    All of what morien said and if she is linked to an oncology and/or palliative care team it would be worth asking if they can assist with a letter and the process. If there’s a social worker they will have experience with these kinds of requests.

    Having said that, also consider that you may not be successful and that these kind of battles with government can be very stressful, especially if you don’t get the outcome you want. This can make the grieving process harder. Definitely consider carefully how much you tell your grandma and other family about your efforts and the process as you want her to have the best end of life possible. Also look at alternatives, ie video calls via Skype or zoom etc if you’re not already doing this regularly.

    Having lost a parent recently and not being able to see them, my experience was that the most traumatic part was talking to government officials, waiting for responses and processing the rejection which was not based on sound logic and had zero compassion (and this was just a state border issue). I wish I never bothered trying to get an exemption. The most valuable time I had with my dad was the video calls in he weeks leading up to his death and the phone call the day before he went into a coma.

    • keys11 on 12/03/2021 - 09:49
      +1

      i am so sorry for your loss - i will definitely be keeping it mostly to myself - if i can get it to work then success however if not i can live my life knowing i tried, rather than constantly be living with the 'what if' thought.

  • brendanm on 12/03/2021 - 07:30
    +7

    People were struggling recently to go interstate to see dying relatives. I think the odds of you getting someone over from Afghanistan at the moment, who has been refused visas before, are very very poor.

  • Islund on 12/03/2021 - 08:09
    +2

    My parents live in Fiji and I do not have any brothers or sisters.

    For the past 30 years they visited me at least twice a year - normally being with me in December every year

    Applied for their last Visa in November of 2019 and to this day have not had another visa.

    My dad passed away in December of 2020 - I feel that his death may have not occurred had he been in Australia (quality of medical care and all that).

    I cannot even get a visa for my (dependent on me) mother to come to be with me,

    And yesterday I read about this HK politician being granted (almost instantaneously) a 1 year visa to stay here.

    I guess there are different rules for different people.

    Good luck in your instance,

    • keys11 on 12/03/2021 - 09:51

      I am sorry for your loss sincerely - i hope that you can work out getting your mother a visa soon.

  • JimmyF on 12/03/2021 - 09:14

    i know right now is the worst time to even think about bringing someone from overseas with how tough it is - even our own citizens cant get home - however i can only try and help grant my grandmas final wish - it cant hurt to try :(

    You can try, but when we have citizens stockpiled overseas trying to get home, I doubt this person will be able to 'jump' the queue as a non citizen who has had visa rejected before etc.

    Best to start thinking about some video calls instead.

  • highon2str on 12/03/2021 - 09:37
    +6

    This may or may not be a solution, or perhaps be an interim one? But have you tried setting up a video meeting on a large TV screen with the sound turned up, so she can see him and talk to him that way? The online experience is never going to be quite the same as a face to face interaction, but if you can project her son onto the largest TV screen you can find and turn the sound up, that may close the gap somewhat.

    • try2bhelpful on 12/03/2021 - 12:06

      That would be my option as well. The Feds are not big on empathy at the best of times.

    • Vancomycin 1000mg on 13/03/2021 - 05:40
      +1

      Afghanistan Internet is like dial up. You can barely hear the person through audio let alone video call. They are still using 3g/ very slow 4g network.

  • popsiee on 12/03/2021 - 09:54
    +2

    During an pandemic you are not going to get her a Visa work on other things to comfort her .
    Just facts .
    Send a quick message to Dutton's office if you don't believe.

  • bargain huntress on 13/03/2021 - 16:01

    and multiple times we have tried to bring him over on mutliple visas however all have been rejected due to a cognitive impairment that he suffers from.

    wtf?
    why would that be a grounds for rejection?

    • try2bhelpful on 13/03/2021 - 16:07
      +1

      The Feds think people will over stay their Visa’s and someone with a disability will become a “burden” on Australia. Don’t get me started.

      • robbyjones on 13/03/2021 - 16:08

        just beat me to it, ha ha

    • robbyjones on 13/03/2021 - 16:08

      Generally people are considered based on their ability to be self sufficient and not a burden to the Australian taxpayer. It could be seen that a person with cognitive impairment may be harder to gain employment and may have needs that may place a burden on the tax payer. Unless you are quite wealthy it can be difficult to convince the Australian government otherwise.

  • bargain huntress on 13/03/2021 - 16:16

    @keys11
    hey OP
    be careful to not reveal too much personal info but i'm wondering;

    what is the birthplace, residential and citizenship status of everyone?;

    is your uncle a afghan citizen? where was he born?

    what about your grandma?

    what about you?

  • bargain huntress on 13/03/2021 - 16:31
    -1

    another thought

    living in Afghanistan at the moment

    multiple times we have tried to bring him over on mutliple visas however all have been rejected due to a cognitive impairment that he suffers from

    have you ever tried applying for asylum?

    he is disabled
    he lives in a very dangerous place
    there has been reporting over the years of the taliban targeting disabled people

    https://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/ouch/2007/05/taliban_recruiting_…
    https://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/world/why-the-disabled-…

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