Hey guys, I am currently living with my GF for 3-4 days a week. Usually, I cover 90% of spending over 3-4 days. It's roughly 250-300 bucks a week on eat-out and grocery cost. Am I spending too much?
What Is Your Weekly Spending in a Relationship?
Lnick10292 on 21/08/2020 - 20:44
Comments
jeez, there are some weird ppl on ozb/in the world…
You're living with your girlfriend 3/4 days per week?
As in, you're living in her place?Are you paying rent or contributing to the household cost in any way?
If no, food should definitely be on you.
If yes, then you really need to talk to your GF about sharing the costs of food (and especially take away which is very expensive).
If it's 3/4 days per week at her house- then I'm assuming she's at your house the other 3/4 days? Or is it 'alone time'.
More info required… but realistically it should be 50/50 split (regardless of money earned).
When it becomes more serious and co-habitation becomes full time (especially if there's talk of long term marriage/kids etc), then other factors come into play with "our" money vs your money.
But part time living at her house seems like relationship is in early stages. 50/50 for sure…. until things turn more serious.
With the current market conditions, I can see with the 50/50 attitude, many families will break unfortunately.
If you mean in Australian 0, over seas as much as I want.
now I understand why 1300 MYBUDGET Tammy is a millionaire - there really are people like OP.
What goals (personal and professional) have you set yourself and how will you achieve them - start there and many other answers will come out of itAlso taking one thing in isolation is meaningless from a budget perspective. Do you have rent/mortgage obligations. How many holidays do you take a year, what car do you drive (if any?)
You might prioritise food/eating out over what car you drive how many holidays you take, the type of clothes you buy..
Holy shit, that is insane. I used to pay for like 90% of meals/going out since my boyfriend wasn't working and I didn't even spend that much each fortnight. If she's working and your incomes are relatively comparable, I'd suggest doing 50/50 or alternate payments (e.g. she pays for tonight's dinner, you pay for tomorrow's dinner).
What other costs she cover?
How much you guys spend on is very subjective to your lifestyle and don’t want to be the judge of that. If you think its too much or you having difficulties don’t hold it back and discuss with her.In covid times you spend less on travel and the money can go elsewhere like food or other things :-)
keep spending at the rate OP. But don't complain here in 5 years that you are struggling to save deposit for a house (unless you already have one and almost paid off then well done)
Geez OP, someone is loaded. That's alot of cash.
I get annoyed at myself for spending $20 on any given meal. If I spend $20 on lunch, I feel guilty cause $20 for lunch is way too much for me. I go around the 8 - 12 dollar mark.
Today I went to a restaurant in the afternoon with friends, got a burger and drink for $22 and it was the cheapest burger there…. hated throwing that money on a small burger.
I am not cheap, I just want my moneys worth to me.
For couple 250-300 per week is high. That should be fortnightly for a couple.
90% just sounds insane to me, she might as well (profanity) me in the ass as well.
And she stays at your place lmao. If i was earning more then her i'd probably go for 60% Hell maybe 70% of expenses but at that point it'd be a serious commitment .
if she keeps you happy every night in bed then $250 -$300 per week is worth it
what is she out of 10?
she is $300/10
She should also contribute
Definitely, my partner and I spend about $90-100/week on groceries total.
Eating out maybe $40/week total.
Lunches
2 days ea: 3 bean chilli, pasta, schnitzel + veges, chicken stir fry, bibimbapDinners:
2 days ea: misc stuff, burgers, roasts, katsu curry, all sorts reallyUsually get bakery lunch on fri/sat and some type of takeaway once a week for dinner.
I decide meat for stir fry/bibimbap and other similar dishes based on sales. Take away done based on free delivery during lockdown otherwise usually fish n chips or pizza
Your amount seems a bit high, but I would be more worried about the contribution ratio. If it's $300pw spending but you're both paying $150pw, that's not so bad. But it seems a bit unbalanced that you're paying for almost everything.
Every relationship is different, but I was in a similar situation in my past - I would pay around 80% of costs and they would pay 20% or less. Strangely enough, my ex would have the higher-end taste and would want date nights where we went to somewhere nice (of course the bill would be $40pp or higher).
When I brought up that I didn't have much money :(, my ex would make me feel bad and say that they were different to me and wanted to go out more. So I said yeah we can go out and not spend as much money but they would complain that the experience wasn't the same and it's not as fun. They also said they wanted 2-3 holidays per year and would never stay in anything less than 4 star. If it was up to them, it would have been 5 star hotel stays all the time. Little 'getaways' that cost $1k a weekend.
When it was over, they tried to take me for half of everything I had.
In a relationship, it seems reasonable that you should be able to bring up the issue of spending too much overall and hopefully she will help you find a solution to it. Like maybe you could say you want to reduce costs by $100pw and so you both spend more time cooking. Or just say times are tough and you were wondering if you could split more meals or costs.
Another poster is right, it's a little awkward now that the norm has been set but you've got to do it! Better late than never as if you don't do anything, it'll just continue being the same…
They tried to take half even when not married or legally committed? Or even years long enough to be considered defacto.
Yeah fair point, happy to give context on my situation.
Boyfriend/girlfriend for 4 years but never moved in together due to family values. Then got married and bought a $470k house (I fully paid the $47k deposit). Married around 7 months (lived together for 5 months out of the 7) before there were too many marital problems and started the separation process. This was around 7 years ago. So yeah, they tried to take me for half of the house. In addition they tried to knowingly claim a stake in borrowed family money from the joint account too. Scum.
sounds like a scam from day 1:
1/ free meals for 4-5 years
2/ half of your assets after the 6th year
sounds like you got used bruh
Depending on your income, the stage of you relationship, etc…
250-300 a week is nothing extravagant.
But if you have to ask the question, you probably spend more than you want/afford. The first step is to talk with your partner (if you have been together long enough) to have a healthy relationship.
bloody hell $300 a week is our spending cost as a married couple (grocery and eat out) in a week! you either are spending way too much or your gf should chip in as well.
Lol, cheaper to pay for the "girlfriend" experience and less headache. You don't even have to feed them after
Probably not the best site to be asking this question but I think OP is getting used also. But not knowing the details, you can try cutting costs by cooking at home more or toning down the cost of meals outside i.e. go somewhere more cost effective. As you are already questioning this issue, it may be time to have that chat with the GF to work it out. I've been there before with friends (not GF) but cut them loose and never felt happier.
That seems kind of normal to me tbh. When I was single I had major takeaway addiction and spending a few hundred a week was normal for food. This isn't really about your girlfriend its about you living beyond your means. If $400 is not much to you don't worry about it. If it is a lot then you need to start cooking a lot more meals and meal prepping. If your girlfriend doesn't like your food she can buy her own takeaway, just explain that you are budgeting more to save money.
I should also add that having shared financial goals and budgeting goals with your partner can open up communication when it comes to money. Right now I am unemployed and my partner is doing all the heavy lifting, but we discuss money all the time and ways we can save on things together, it is like a hobby to us and it can be fun to cook and meal prep together.
Depends on how much you make and how many meals - breakfast, lunch and dinner. I'm just on six figures and think that's excessive.
Cooking is a good bonding exercise and is vital to a long term relationship.
Maybe talk with the guy who pays for her expenses the other days of the week, and you can check if she's overcharging you
Looks about right tbh esp if you are in a capital city. Is she on less than you? Better hope she doesnt see this or you will suddenly be saving a lot of money
I wonder that these remarks are you still good going with her on same terms…..OP plz tell us
Like i don't even know because it goes to one account and i never check. If I behave, she doesn't give me the cold shoulder and dirty looks. Typical hotheaded Lebanese woman from Lebanon. Apparently, I can't buy new underwear and comfy socks unless it gets her tick of approval but she can spend $400+ on dumb made in china dresses to "impress" and "show off" to young mavericks at work.
Why does everyone say having a gf is expensive?
Isn't it? Need to pay them to keep them around otherwise they'll leave you for the next hot looking guy….
@JuryWheel: And those horror months when you spend $200 on gifts for a bunch of different people for birthdays etc. Because of corona, we've had some awesome months tracking to see how little we can spend to get by. I was using a discontinued money manager app (something with a piggy bank on it) for the first few months of the year and when it showed the pie-chart at the end of the month with all the spending, it really opened up how I was spending. All of those $2-5 purchases really add up.