Advice Please - Bizarre Situation with Neighbour Who Can't Open His Newspaper without Waking Me up

TheCutter on 17/01/2019 - 11:38
Last edited 17/01/2019 - 14:52 by 1 other user

Hello.

My elderly and deaf neighbour bangs his newspaper on his wheelie bin at 05:45 every day. It's 4 or 5 bangs like hammer on wood.
My wife sleeps through it but I am a light sleeper and it wakes me up. I am also now at the point where I wake up expecting it to happen. My wife insists on the windows open during the summer so it's that and my light sleeping that are part of the issue - I accept that.

He bangs the newspaper to open its wrapping - he says. He's a nice guy and stops it for a while when I ask but as he's so old he forgets and starts banging it again.

Is there a clever tool I can give him for the newspaper wrapping?

I offered him scissors but he says they are no good. Or do I just suck it up? Anybody order a paper and know the wrapping he's struggling with? In my job I need my sleep and I'm missing out on an extra hours sleep.

Grateful for thoughts.

Home & Garden

Comments

  • onetwothreefour on 17/01/2019 - 11:40
    -1

    5.45, I wish I could sleep in that late every day.

  • HighAndDry on 17/01/2019 - 11:44
    +1

    Newspapers are wrapped in what looks and feels to be just a thicker form of cling-wrap. I've no idea how banging it on something will open it - maybe his bin has a sharp edge he's using to make a hole/cut in that wrapping?

    Get him a knife? Or any other solid object with a point/edge, because most of the noise might be due to the fact that a wheelie bin is basically a drum.

    • payton on 17/01/2019 - 12:33

      Get him a knife?

      Boxcutter (or the more ergonomic variants as suggested below) perhaps, a knife for this purpose seems a waste and not as effective
      Slice edge of paper a little bit and cling wrap comes off
      Preferably with a little loop so he can attach it to his wheelie bin, garage, door, or anywhere he deems convenient

  • Ryanek on 17/01/2019 - 11:44
    +2

    With his permission, put a note on his bin to remind him not to bang his newspaper.

    • payton on 17/01/2019 - 12:35
      +10

      not to bang his newspaper.

      when people can't afford fleshlight …

      • [Deactivated] on 18/01/2019 - 11:25
        +1

        Imagine the papercuts…

        • payton on 19/01/2019 - 01:47

          ROFL
          *gold!

  • John Kimble on 17/01/2019 - 12:15
    +2

    https://www.ebay.com/bhp/envelope-opener

    Buy him one of these things…the plastic round ones with the blade in it. Some have a magnet so you can stick on your fridge.

    You get them in the box when you buy a bed from bed in a box companies (eg Koala)…those are essentially giant roll wrapped newspapers…

  • oscargamer on 17/01/2019 - 12:23
    +2

    Ear plugs

    • TheCutter on 17/01/2019 - 13:32

      Yep tried those - in one ear and the other on the pillow is almost bearable

      • oscargamer on 17/01/2019 - 14:52

        You mean you put one in one ear and it comes out the other side?

        :o)

        Try one in each ear. I believe they are sold in pairs.

  • tsunamisurfer on 17/01/2019 - 12:28
    +3

    Banging does nothing to open the cling wrap.

    God gave your neighbour opposable thumbs for tasks such as this.

  • swapsey on 17/01/2019 - 12:58
    +1

    Spray his lawn with a light mixture of hydrochloric acid so that it dissolves the wrapper off the paper by the time he collects it.

    Science - answers every question we humans have.

    • HighAndDry on 17/01/2019 - 13:18

      I feel like HCl that's enough to do that might also make OP's neighbour incapable of going out to get the newspaper eventually, on account of no longer having feet…

      • swapsey on 17/01/2019 - 13:35
        +2

        Opsies - unintended side-effect

  • boomramada on 17/01/2019 - 13:11
    +3

    Buy him a tablet and give him your wifi password.

  • TheCutter on 17/01/2019 - 13:41

    If things got bad does a noise order apply here?

    • John Kimble on 17/01/2019 - 13:53

      Surely it shouldn't come to that?

      • TheCutter on 17/01/2019 - 13:57

        Agreed.
        He's a gent just getting really old, deaf and forgetful.
        I'll prob just do gentle reminders
        Also No one has said to just suck it up princess

  • WreckTangle on 17/01/2019 - 16:52
    +1

    Buy a fan for your room for white noise

  • chumlee on 17/01/2019 - 16:55
    +4

    Maybe you have uncovered how he became deaf

  • elgrande on 17/01/2019 - 20:07

    Move his bin somewhere else.

    But seriously I think he is doing it to give u the sh*ts, now he knows u dont like it.

  • iand on 17/01/2019 - 21:50
    +2

    Get up at 5:30 and unwrap it so he doesn't have to bang it

  • [Deactivated] on 18/01/2019 - 00:45

    Steal his bins.

  • ChillBro on 18/01/2019 - 11:33
    +1

    Bang other things to drown out the noise. I suggest your wife.

  • PronounceIt on 23/01/2019 - 22:39
    +1

    Go straight to the source - Tip the newspaper delivery kid to unwrap it for him each morning.

  • Half Price Hunter on 28/01/2019 - 16:25
    +1

    Earplugs. The moldable wax ones. If your wife wants the window open then even if the old guy stops the noise, something else could start up to wake you anyway, like yowling cats or different neighbours mowing lawn early or beginning renovations. Either earplugs or installing aircon in your bedroom to keep your wife cool (assuming that that's why she wants the window open).

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