Tell The Truth or Lie, What Would You Do When Asked for Money by Beggar in Cathedral?

LCarlo2018 on 07/01/2019 - 21:11
Last edited 08/01/2019 - 12:17 by 1 other user

It happened inside a Cathedral where there were only a few visitors/tourists like me. A women approached, said a few (which I did not catch completely. It sounded like she have been receiving regular financial support from this cathedral and for some reason she missed a recent one etc).

She asked if I can spare some cash. I know I only have two 50 in the wallet but I do not want to spare that much. So I said to her “Sorry, I don’t have cash”.

Immediately after she left, I felt uncomfortable telling a lie in the Cathedral. I discussed with partner and tell her that next time I would say “Sorry I don’t have EXTRA cash to spare”, rather than telling a lie.

Partner said I am just being stubborn. I said being honest is a principal.

Partner then asked if it was not a women but a man and if it was after dusk, would you still want to be “honest”? I kinda feel that she is right.

What do you think?

General Discussion

Comments

                • SlickMick on 09/01/2019 - 10:28
                  -2

                  @Danstar: I don't know whether you're describing some religion you've been burnt by, but you clearly don't have a personal relationship with God. If you get to know Him, He's actually really great.

                  • Danstar on 09/01/2019 - 11:01
                    +1

                    @SlickMick: Yes, you are absolutely correct. Religion is good at burning people. :)

                  • bobbified on 09/01/2019 - 11:08
                    +1

                    @SlickMick:

                    but you clearly don't have a personal relationship with God. If you get to know Him, He's actually really great.

                    I'm not religious at all and I try my best to accept that people have different beliefs, but it irks me when people refer to their "gods" in ways like this.

                    There's so many gods/religions - which one is the most powerful?

                    • Danstar on 09/01/2019 - 11:18
                      +2

                      @bobbified: Which ever you were brought up to believe in.

                      Santa is most powerful for people aged between 3 - 7

                    • SlickMick on 09/01/2019 - 12:13
                      +1

                      @bobbified: I'm not religious at all either, and absolutely people can believe what they like. But you're competing god theory is very religious - it isn't the way it is.

                      Maybe this site needs a way of moving off-topic discussions - this must be annoying for people wanting to discuss Sheldon!!??? :)

                      • Danstar on 09/01/2019 - 12:32
                        +1

                        @SlickMick:

                        I'm not religious at all either

                        ……………

                        If you get to know Him, He's actually really great.

                        …………..

                        • SlickMick on 09/01/2019 - 13:37
                          +1

                          @Danstar: When you understand this, you'll have learned more than everything you already know

                          • Danstar on 09/01/2019 - 14:30
                            +1

                            @SlickMick: In the end you'll return to the dirt like we all do.

                            That's the only thing guaranteed in life.

                            • SlickMick on 09/01/2019 - 16:15
                              +1

                              @Danstar: who told you that? oh wait, the end isn't here yet so no one knows

                              • Danstar on 09/01/2019 - 16:48
                                +1

                                @SlickMick: That’s true. We only know in reality when people die they’re gone.

                                Where I believe once we die we just die. That’s it. Done.

                                I’ve had discussions about this with religious friends and non religious friends. For me, hearing the religious friends ideologies, are borderline comical lol

                                • SlickMick on 09/01/2019 - 23:42
                                  +1

                                  @Danstar: I suspect you probably have more of an idea of what happens at death than your religious friends. Religions do tend to make up stories to make people feel better about terrible situations.

                                  A lot of people are in for a very big surprise.

                      • bobbified on 09/01/2019 - 12:38

                        @SlickMick: haha I asked a question that I wasn't expecting an answer to.. because there is no answer :p

                        • SlickMick on 09/01/2019 - 13:39
                          +1

                          @bobbified: everything has an answer, we just haven't found them all yet. I'm working towards it though

                          • Danstar on 10/01/2019 - 05:29

                            @SlickMick: Let us know when you have an answer…….

                            Ps. Hard to portray condescension in writing

                            I think if you're on OzB, you're not going to get many answers out of life other than a few cheap batteries and an Xbox

                            • SlickMick on 10/01/2019 - 23:15

                              @Danstar: I'm not here looking for answers, but if you have a question I'm happy to help if I can.
                              You'd be surprised where answers can be found.

                              • Danstar on 11/01/2019 - 06:31

                                @SlickMick: I make my own answers :)

                                If you need some answers to your answers, I'm always a DM away

                                • SlickMick on 11/01/2019 - 10:16
                                  -1

                                  @Danstar: Yeah, pretty typical. Frank Sinatra Syndrome.

                                  I get my answers from a higher source, so thanks but no thanks.

                                  • Danstar on 11/01/2019 - 11:18

                                    @SlickMick: Typical, someone who thinks their "higher source" is the be all and end all.

                                    • SlickMick on 12/01/2019 - 00:00

                                      @Danstar: Sorry, I should have said highest. Definitely the be all and end all, show me another god who has proven Himself.

                    • Ti-au on 09/01/2019 - 23:12
                      -1

                      @bobbified: Muslim.

                  • doncarajo on 09/01/2019 - 23:30

                    @SlickMick: All my imaginary friends are great too!

    • [Deactivated] on 08/01/2019 - 16:19
      +5

      lol "pray to god for it, he will provide… oh wait"

      • Danstar on 08/01/2019 - 20:34
        +3

        God has no place in bargains ? 😅

        • Ti-au on 09/01/2019 - 23:14

          I often pray for Bargains.

          And sometimes they are delivered.

          hashtag 20%offebay

          • Danstar on 10/01/2019 - 05:29

            @Ti-au: tightarse is God ? :D~

            • Ti-au on 10/01/2019 - 14:19

              @Danstar: God works in mysterious ways…

              So Yes.

  • voiletmay on 08/01/2019 - 07:58

    Holy moly… you did the right thing. Do not feel bad. She probably asks everyone who walks in that cathedral.

    I would put in a complaint to the cathedral if that was me. People should not be doing that.

    One of my friends says to any sort of beggars/telemarketers/doorknockers "Sorry, but I only give to the RSPCA at xmas time". That is his policy on giving out money. Works for him with no guilt.

  • try2bhelpful on 08/01/2019 - 08:27
    +1

    Usually a shake of the head and “sorry no” works for most beggars. You don’t need to lie or explain yourself. Same with people who ring you.

  • Typical16-bitEnjoyer on 08/01/2019 - 08:32
    +2

    I find staring them in the eyes and doing this resolves the situation
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M2gFj3oFRcI

  • alz on 08/01/2019 - 08:48
    -6

    You denied charity to a needy person inside a church? Man, you have amends to make.
    If i were you i will donate double the amount of money to a charity of your choice.

  • myusername on 08/01/2019 - 09:10
    +1

    fire and brimstone and eternal damnation are what you have to look forward to.

    all according to an ex-employee

    • idonotknowwhy on 08/01/2019 - 11:33

      The line that I learned in high school is my "auto-pilot".

      Lol, I also had people in high school standing around outside the canteen and begging for money.
      It just seemed normal at the time, but thinking back, it's kind of weird having children doing that to other children.

      do you think the person who asked was being honest?

      They probably weren't, but that doesn't mean that we ourselves have to lie.
      It's obviously going too far to say something brutally honest like "Yeah but I don't give it to you" or "You don't deserve my hard-earned money", but a simple "No" delivered assertively ends the conversation without handing over any money or lying.

  • Ten on 08/01/2019 - 09:32
    +2

    Reminds me of when I used to smoke and people would ask me if I had a spare cigarette. There is no such thing as a spare cigarette…

    Just remember, Charity starts at home.

    • Some Human on 08/01/2019 - 10:05
      +12

      A mate of mine used to tell people, “Nah mate, I smoke me spares first.”

  • Topdog on 08/01/2019 - 09:54
    +1

    she would used to be being told no. Don't worry about it, And if you dont want to give cash, offer to buy a meal, thats how I spot the real ones to the ones just trying to get as much coin.

    Thats how I suss them out, and the ones that are keen on me buying them a fast food meal or something, Ill usually give cash, cause you can tell there really struggling..

  • Pumpkin_rrr on 08/01/2019 - 10:03

    A few things come to mind:

    If the Cathedral missed a payment for her, shouldn't she ask from them? I would offer to take her to the Office

    It is bizarre how she could do that so openly in the Cathedral. Weren't anyone have heard your conversation?

    As to whether to lie or not, well, it's already done and if you are sorry, go for confession…

    On a side note, did you notice whether the Cathedral has security screen and locks?

  • [Deactivated] on 08/01/2019 - 11:16
    +2

    Did the communion bread run out?

  • HighAndDry on 08/01/2019 - 11:54
    +5

    I once gave money to a lady (dragging a kid no less) asking for petrol money (her bf stranded her there, no wallet, no phone, blah blah) in a shopping car park near a petrol station.

    Lo-and-behold, about 2 weeks later I was back there and THE EXACT SAME LADY IS STILL THERE with the EXACT SAME SPIEL. Told her to (profanity) off.

    • purplelady on 08/01/2019 - 17:12

      Similar scenario with me. A lady saying she lost her wallet and needed a ride home. She looked completely lost and befuddled, so I gave her some cash. A week after, I saw her again with the same scenario -_- After that, I never believed those people again.

  • field1985 on 08/01/2019 - 12:16
    +1

    "I felt uncomfortable telling a lie in the Cathedral" - This is exactly why you were targeted.

    If they actually need help (housing, food, etc) there are plenty of services that would help them.

    They just wanted cash for their next hit of alcohol/ice/heroin.

    Don't feel guilty, I can assure you everything they told you was a lie.

    • smpantsonfire on 08/01/2019 - 18:50

      Or you know, just eat I guess?

  • baratta on 08/01/2019 - 12:16
    +4

    http://i.imgur.com/WLawhPV.jpg

  • Bills22 on 08/01/2019 - 12:31

    When I was in Europe visiting a few churches, we encountered a gypsies just openly asking for spare change. They were not officials asking for donations nor were they representing any organisations.

    No qualms with telling them where to go. I just said I don't speak English or played ignorant with their inquiry.

  • [Deactivated] on 08/01/2019 - 12:58

    I simply ask "do you take eftpos or paypal?"

    (because cash is for drug dealers and old people)

  • [Deactivated] on 08/01/2019 - 13:04

    A women approached, said a few (which I did not catch completely. It sounded like she have been receiving regular financial support from this cathedral and for some reason she missed a recent one etc).

    Look at this scenario for a moment. You're a tourist being targeted in a cathedral by a woman making her rounds who probably tells the same story to different tourists every single day, the onus isn't on you to feel guilty when she does the same thing…every single day.
    Sure, you don't have as loose morals as the woman and you hold the 10 commandments/religion in higher regard, but pragmatically speaking you don't look bad doing this.
    Or you know, next time say "sorry, no" because you actually don't want to give money to people who try to fleece tourists

  • crabcancer on 08/01/2019 - 13:16
    +3

    What I find works a treat is speaking another language. As I am of Asian origins, when I meet one of them, I just go off in machine gun mandarin/cantonese/malay depending on what I feel like using. If with family, I turn to ask the wife in the same language and viola no more troubles. Also they will not trouble you for the rest of the day as they have told their compatriots this person not worth harassing.

  • No ONE on 08/01/2019 - 13:27
    -1

    You had coin not cash. You you didn't lie 😏

  • doncarajo on 08/01/2019 - 13:43

    First of all, it is “woman”, not “women” (women is for more than one woman). Second of all, she did that on purpose to make you feel guilty. Don’t worry about it and move on.

  • trapper on 08/01/2019 - 13:52

    Why the need to lie at all, next time just say No.

  • HardlyCharly on 08/01/2019 - 14:39

    I don't use cash and never have. So unless they have tap & go there's no point asking me, not that I would have anything to spare if they did. They're going to have to adapt to a soon-to-be cashless society. Also I get that cathedral architecture is beautiful, but what has that got to do with lying? The biggest and most numerous lies in the world are told in cathedrals/churches, to themselves and others, your white lie is a drop in a very vast meaningless ocean. So don't get hung up on it.

    • Major Mess on 08/01/2019 - 15:45

      "I don't use cash and never have." A real person of the cashless society. How old are you, and what country did you spend your childhood in that you could get by without ever touching cash?

  • orangetrain on 08/01/2019 - 15:15
    -1

    ….

  • Dreamcast on 08/01/2019 - 15:16
    +2

    "No hablo ingles"

  • locknuts on 08/01/2019 - 15:30

    Don't lie, just tell them to go away. Being rude is better than lying.

  • Major Mess on 08/01/2019 - 15:43

    How is it any different to the others in the same building asking for money for nothing? At least this money might actually help the beggar, rather than go to prop up child abuse.

  • chumlee on 08/01/2019 - 15:47
    +2

    With all the child molesting, child rapes, lies and cover ups happening in churches and religious institutions, i reckon you are safe with yours.

    Hell is almost full now so only serious offenses count

  • khell on 08/01/2019 - 15:56
    +2

    Why should the building matter?

    • stumo on 08/01/2019 - 16:07

      My thoughts exactly. You are either a good person, or you are not. The building you are in should make no difference to that.

      • tranter on 08/01/2019 - 18:01

        The problem with that is we all think we are good.

        • [Deactivated] on 09/01/2019 - 00:52
          +1

          No we don't. Some of us know we are pieces of shit.

          • Major Mess on 09/01/2019 - 11:11

            @[Deactivated]: Still, it is demonstrable that you are a better person than the person the building was built for.

  • Carlo2018 on 08/01/2019 - 16:08
    +1

    Many thanks for the posts and comments.

    When I said no cash the lady did question me “No? not even a coin?” but she did not persist. It is a cathedral museum. Only two or three visitors there at that moment.

    I guess next time I’d try to keep a coin or two just in case.

    • [Deactivated] on 08/01/2019 - 16:47
      +1

      Only that which is absolutely poor shall enter the kingdom of heaven. Are you sure she wasn't an angel requesting you leave behind your riches before you went inside?

      • purplelady on 08/01/2019 - 17:09

        oh damn… i'll surely go to hell then :(

    • WaywardOne on 17/01/2019 - 12:50

      Maybe you can make a donation to a charity. They need money, accept cards, and if you donate to a major international charity you can be quite certain that your donation will be used wisely.

  • DarthAntz on 08/01/2019 - 17:41

    The next person she asked gave her a 50. She's fine.
    You were just one of the people who said the same thing that the person has heard a million times already.
    Resolve your internal moral dilemma yourself, and give $5 to a charity you feel strongly about.

  • movieman on 08/01/2019 - 18:00
    +1

    OP.

    I do not believe in giving money directly to strangers that ask.

    Recently when a chap asked me at a train station in Melbourne, I told him I dont give money, but was happy to give him some almonds that I have.

    Another person (separate time) asked for money, I asked what she needed, and she ranted her spiel… I offered food, and she refused.

  • wordplay on 08/01/2019 - 19:19
    +1

    do not let these con men turn the cathedral museum into a den of thieves.

  • jackspratt on 08/01/2019 - 20:36

    It wasn't Las Lajas Cathedral by any chance?

    https://www.alamy.com/stock-photo-las-lajas-cathedral-a-neo-…

  • Almighty Dollar on 08/01/2019 - 20:40

    "I don't want to give you any money."

    Direct.
    Honest.
    Uncomplicated.

  • JelIyfish on 08/01/2019 - 20:41

    Not sure why everyone is so quick to say ‘sorry’. There’s no reason to apologise.

    Reply with a ‘no, thank you’.

    • Bargain80 on 11/01/2019 - 16:16

      there's no reason to thank her.

  • Name on 08/01/2019 - 20:56

    I usually just don't respond and step around them.

  • MessyG on 08/01/2019 - 21:48

    No, you didn't lie, you didn't have money for her which is true. Donate to a homeless charity if it bothers you that much, but trust me these problems are not going to solved through individual donations. Do it if you have money to spare or if you want to, but don't feel bad. Homelessness isn't caused by people not giving money, it's a complex problem with a complex set of solutions that will likely take generations to resolve. Again, please don't feel bad.

  • Trying2SaveABuck on 08/01/2019 - 22:25

    I'd probably feel guilty too but i wouldnt give some random a 50 so i probably would of done the same

  • greatlamp on 08/01/2019 - 22:48

    Someone asking for money in a Cathedral is very likely to be a scammer. I would say 'no thank you' or simply ignore them.

    I am more worried of being robbed by showing where I keep my wallet than any guilt in this situation. It is a tourist trap

    In a different situation I was approached for money while eating at McDonalds. Because they didn't look like the typical scammer and actually looked homeless I gave him the benefit of the doubt and offered to pay for his meal instead.

    What convinced me was the dirty blanket he was carrying in a plastic bag.

    He took me up on then offer and ordered whatever he wanted from the menu, cost around 10 euro. I never seen someone eat so fast

  • orly on 08/01/2019 - 23:40

    It's your perogative if you want to donate any money to anyone. Do it if you are generous and can spare it, don't do it if you aren't and can't. And yes, you could have phrased it better for next time.

  • SpotTheOzzie on 09/01/2019 - 08:12

    "No."

    You don't have to justify yourself to strangers.

  • tajid on 09/01/2019 - 08:25
    +1

    I had an Indian man around Eastwood station showing his atm card cutin half and needed cash for train home, gave him $20 and he said he’d eft me money right away, he did it over the phone and of course money never arrived.

    Few days later I saw him doing the same to others, was so tempted to shout at him or even go to police (as they are only a few metres away) but decided not to.

    • lostn on 09/01/2019 - 12:09
      +1

      That was a really obvious scam though. I wouldn't have given him the money to begin with.

      • tajid on 09/01/2019 - 12:12

        How was it obvious? The same could happen to me where I don’t have my Opal card with me & I somehow broke my atm card and need to get elsewhere? This is when cardless cash & paying bus/train with apple pay etc.

        • Invisiblefreak on 10/01/2019 - 05:46

          Credit/debit cards usually get bent instead of snapped into half. That person likely cut the card up

  • happirt on 09/01/2019 - 09:17
    +2

    you going to hell son

  • DarkOz on 09/01/2019 - 09:17

    Just say, "Sorry I can't help."

    That way you don't have to tell the truth or lie.

  • pformag on 09/01/2019 - 10:26

    Yeah, I don't even carry cash, just the card. Maybe someone can make a cheap PayPass for the homeless. Then they can get $1 or $2 taps.

  • lostn on 09/01/2019 - 10:59

    I would give coins. If I don't have coins then "Sorry buddy, all I got are hundreds. Unless you have change."

    Don't worry about dishonesty in a cathedral. I mean the priests themselves have a lot to cover up (with the church backing them). No one's a saint. Sticking your privates inside young children is a worse crime than refusing to give to a beggar. Don't sweat it.

    • [Deactivated] on 09/01/2019 - 11:31

      Doesn't really make sense the way you veer off from talking about religion to talking about pedophiles. Children are the conquest objects of adults not the religious. The religious prefer to conquer the disbeliever. Pedophiles can be found in private companies, schools, government departments, the police force, the defence force and even in the family home. All pedophiles have one thing in common, they are all adults not all religious…

      • lostn on 09/01/2019 - 12:06

        I'm not talking about religion. I'm talking about the OP's misgivings about telling lies in a cathedral. I'm simply telling her, you're not the biggest sinner in the church, so don't worry about it. I'm telling her not to feel bad about it. The church itself has done much worse. That's a statement of fact, not my opinion of the church or religion itself.

        Immediately after she left, I felt uncomfortable telling a lie in the Cathedral.

  • Bid Sniper on 09/01/2019 - 12:08
    +4

    Religion is a lie, so no problem.

  • jackspratt on 09/01/2019 - 12:18

    OP has scampered back under his/her bridge, after joining OzB just to post this "moral dilemma", never be seen again.

  • Brouw3r on 09/01/2019 - 12:20

    She asked if I can spare some cash

    "No"

    Or if you're feeling extra polite, "No, Sorry"

  • Cletus vandamme on 09/01/2019 - 12:40

    So op you are fine with telling a lie if it wasn't in a cathedral? I don't understand how being in one would change this. In any case just say no and move on.

  • mavis30551 on 09/01/2019 - 13:37

    Shoulda just given it to those pedo peddlars in the Cathedral - atleats you know for sure where the money is going.

  • crazyj on 09/01/2019 - 14:19

    LOL, never engage with these people. Or if you must, just say NO.

  • ldq on 09/01/2019 - 14:52

    We have this guy begging regularly by the local supermarket. I don't give, but I have seen many people giving him both money and food. I have also seen him spending the money at the end of his "shift". All he ever buys is booze and cigarettes.

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