Your Favourite Movie or TV Show Quotes

Hunter14 on 16/08/2017 - 13:51

I could probably have a full conversation for hours with someone just using Seinfeld quotes. Some personal favourites:

These pretzels are making me thirsty.
It's not a lie if you believe it.
Why don't you just tell me the name of the movie you want to see?
The sea was angry that day my friends.
Perhaps there's more to Newman than meets the eye. No, there's less.
No soup for you!

Also love quoting Dumb and Dumber.

Pullover! No it's a cardigan but thanks for noticing.
She gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something. I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
We got no food. We got no jobs. Our pet's heads are falling off!

Entertainment

Comments

  • [Deactivated] on 16/08/2017 - 14:05

    "You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it's me, I'm a little f***** up maybe, but I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to (profanity)' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?" - Goodfellas

  • John Kimble on 16/08/2017 - 14:08
    +2
    • who is your daddy and what does he do?
    • did you eat all these lunches? Stop it!
    • I'm a cop you idiot!
    • it's not a tumour!
    • [Deactivated] on 16/08/2017 - 14:09

      I see what you did there

    • John Kimble on 16/08/2017 - 14:11

      My memory fails me. Got one wrong. I'll be in the humvee.

      There's a few more too. Haha

    • Hunter14 on 16/08/2017 - 14:17
      +2

      Come on…Stop whining! You kids are soft. You lack discipline! Well, I've got news for you. You are mine now! You belong to me! You're not going to have your mummies run around you anymore and wipe your little tushies! Oh no, it's time now to turn this mush into muscles. No more complaining. No more 'Mr. Kimble, I have to go to the bathroom'. Nothing! THERE IS NO BATHROOM!!!

    • Hunter14 on 16/08/2017 - 14:23

      I read all this in his voice. Forgot how much Arnold influenced me as boy growing up. Love him.

      I mean all I had to do was just drive around the neighbourhood and point my finger at a house and say 'THE BAD GUYS ARE IN THERE!'.

  • Elppa8 on 16/08/2017 - 14:12

    Under Siege 2 - "Chance favours the prepared mind" and "Assumption is the mother of all f… ups"

  • Looking4Bargians on 16/08/2017 - 14:17

    Have you turn it OFF & ON again !!!

    No SOUP for YOU..!!!

  • theclearout on 16/08/2017 - 14:21

    The Big Lebowski
    * Don't f*** with the Jesus
    * That's just like your opinion man

    Eastbound and Down
    * I love you honey but you have clothes like a f*ing dkh**d

  • Pootie Tang on 16/08/2017 - 14:33

    Who would steal 30 bagged lunches?

    • Hunter14 on 16/08/2017 - 14:37

      That Veronica Vaughn is one hot piece of ass, I know from experience. No you don't.

      • SydStrand on 16/08/2017 - 18:32

        That Veronica Vaughn is one hot piece of ass ace

  • John Kimble on 16/08/2017 - 14:50

    Could do the same with The Simpsons quotes as you could with Seinfeld. Only the older episodes though… Haven't watched the newer seasons.

    • Hunter14 on 16/08/2017 - 14:54

      Haha mate, I reckon we both have similar tastes in TV shows and movies. I'll be glad to take you on in the Simpsons (old episodes). Also haven't watched the newer seasons.

  • EightImmortals on 16/08/2017 - 15:08

    TEAM Amerika: "Why is everyone so F*****g stupid!?"

  • sraymond on 16/08/2017 - 15:29
    +1

    Aw, you can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. Forfty percent of all people know that.

    Homer Simpson

  • OverburdenedWarrior on 16/08/2017 - 15:39

    "Isn't it funny? You hear a phone ring and it could be anybody. But a ringing phone has to be answered, doesn't it?"

  • Aniseed Steed on 16/08/2017 - 16:13

    "I got a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it." ~ Duck Soup

    "I will not stand for anything that's crooked or unfair. I'm strictly on the up-and-up, so everyone beware. If anyone's caught taking graft… and I don't get my share, we stand him up against the wall and…(imitates firing a rifle) pop goes the weasel!" ~ Duck Soup

    "Why don't you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?" ~ Horse Feathers

  • Cheeper on 16/08/2017 - 16:35
    +5

    Tell him he's dreaming.
    What do you call this love…. Rissoles.

  • loulou1 on 16/08/2017 - 16:45

    I made my family disappear (Home Alone)
    Straight to the pool room (The castle)
    I'll have what she's having (when harry met sally)

  • Dave Id on 16/08/2017 - 16:46

    If you're looking for trouble …..

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ng6QphkNz9I

  • fantombloo on 16/08/2017 - 16:57

    And I get my money from grease. What's the problem?

  • Heizenberg on 16/08/2017 - 17:01
    +1

    "I am the one who knocks!"

  • silverrat23 on 16/08/2017 - 17:21
    +1

    Oh hai, Mark!

  • Word on 16/08/2017 - 17:46

    Run.

  • tsunamisurfer on 16/08/2017 - 18:03

    I choose violence.

  • Sterio on 16/08/2017 - 18:07
    +1

    I am surrounded by idiots - The Lion King

  • Unknown1 on 16/08/2017 - 18:17

    Absolute gold:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAeuChXAMKk

  • nocure on 16/08/2017 - 18:21

    Go ahead PUNK, make my day!

  • SydStrand on 16/08/2017 - 18:31

    Ryan used me as an object.

  • janster on 16/08/2017 - 19:09

    "Hodor"

  • Big Trev on 17/08/2017 - 07:56

    Shut the f**k up Donny!

  • thwarted on 17/08/2017 - 09:17

    Bart enunciating the 3 progressive pillars of defence in American justice:
    - I didn't do it
    - No one saw me
    - You can't prove a thing

  • thwarted on 17/08/2017 - 09:24
    +2

    Homer:
    Here's to alcohol. The source of, and the solution to, all of life's problems.

  • Speckled Jim on 17/08/2017 - 09:25

    That faggot barber's got my diamond in his tits! - Hector Elizondo, Private Resort

  • chichi on 17/08/2017 - 09:39

    Only strippers shave above the knee…. the good ones anyway.

  • oldspice on 17/08/2017 - 10:02

    "Today is the first day of the rest of your life" - Walter White in Breaking Bad

  • lachhelix on 17/08/2017 - 10:21

    Definitely Fletch & Fletch Lives:

    • I'm sorry sir this is a restricted area "I'm very happy for you, most people live in terrible neighbourhoods"

    • I borrowed your toothbrush, I was going to borrow your razor but it looks like you've been doing some gardening with it

    • I'm with the mattress police, there are no tags on this mattress

    • Oh you remodelled the garage, must have cost you hundreds

    • A bit of spackling and some napalm and this place would make a great mausoleum

    • Speckled Jim on 06/09/2017 - 12:46
      +1

      I always liked the simplicity of
      What can I do to y- for you?

      • lachhelix on 07/09/2017 - 17:52

        Ahhh I forgot about that!

        "while you're at at it, see that Ms. Scarlet stays away from the union army will you?"

  • Powershopz on 17/08/2017 - 10:22
    +1

    Some memorable long speeches:

    "My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, Commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next."

    "The details of my life are quite inconsequential… very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum… it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it."

    "What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning, the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico, but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting. I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier."

    • Ozpit on 17/08/2017 - 13:48

      There's some very nice writing there, Powershopz. Do you know the name of the writer who wrote the second quote so I can look him up? Sorry ladies, it's a bloke writer - gals can't write like that.

      Here's a one liner from a movie I saw many, many years ago and has always stayed with me.

      [Prudes, shut your eyes NOW and do NOT read on.]

      A guy gives a somewhat recalcitrant chick the hard word, and she responds: "I wouldn't suck your c**k if I was suffocating and your balls had oxygen."

      Always stayed with me that one. Anyone remember the movie? Any guesses?

      • Speckled Jim on 06/09/2017 - 12:37

        Anyone remember the movie? Any guesses?

        No, but you could always cheat.

  • TransportPosters on 17/08/2017 - 12:55

    I could post thousands of these, since I am quite into movies! But I'll just add two.

    "No matter where you go, there you are." - Buckaroo Banzai

    "I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass… and I'm all out of bubblegum." - They Live

    • John Kimble on 18/08/2017 - 07:14

      I thought the last one was Duke Nukem! Ha

  • Inzo on 17/08/2017 - 13:55

    I'M PICKLE RIIIIIIIIIICK

  • Member 0230 on 17/08/2017 - 17:22

    Hudson (male): "Have you ever been mistaken for a man?"
    Vasquez (female): "No. Have you?"
    Aliens

  • AlienC on 18/08/2017 - 01:10

    You are liar - Jackie Chan in every Rush Hour movie

    I'll have what she's having - Meg Ryan orgasm coffee restaurant scene

  • SnakeCasablanca on 18/08/2017 - 07:54

    Pain or damage don't end the world, or despair or f***ing beatings. The world ends when you're dead. Until then, you got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man-and give some back. - Al Swearengen

  • g12345567 on 18/08/2017 - 21:24

    Italian Job 2003

    Charlie Croker: [when meeting Charlie's crew for the first time] That's Lyle. He's my computer genius. You know he's who really invented Napster? At least that's how Lyle tells it. Said Shawn Fanning was his roommate in college and stole his idea.
    [We see a flashback of Fanning stealing a Floppy disk from a napping Lyle]

    Lyle: [referring to Sean Parker] And then he's just the media darling… He's on the cover of all the magazines, I should of been on the cover of Wired Magazine. You know what he said? He said he named it "Napster" because it was his nickname because of the nappy hair under the hat. But he, it's because I was NAPPING when he STOLE it from me! He didn't even graduate!
    Handsome Rob: I think it's time to move on, don't you? They shut him down, I wish they would do the same to you.

  • chumlee on 18/08/2017 - 21:36

    From Casino

    Nicky Santoro: I think in all fairness, I should explain to you exactly what it is that I do. For instance tomorrow morning I'll get up nice and early, take a walk down over to the bank and… walk in and see and, uh… if you don't have my money for me, I'll… crack your (profanity) head wide-open in front of everybody in the bank. And just about the time that I'm comin' out of jail, hopefully, you'll be coming out of your coma. And guess what? I'll split your (profanity) head open again. 'Cause I'm (profanity)' stupid. I don't give a (profanity) about jail. That's my business. That's what I do.

  • altomic on 05/09/2017 - 22:16

    "May the force be with you" - Silvester Stallone in Titanic.

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