Cost of Being a Bridesmaid

gimli on 17/06/2017 - 13:00

Hi Ozbers,

My sister has been asked to be a bridesmaid at a wedding for a friend. (Not sure how close but I assume not very much because I haven't really heard much about that friend).

Apparently the bridesmaid dress is $400, which is not an amount my sister says she would usually spend on her self. She can definitely afford it (not a Ozbargain scavenger like me) but I guess in principal she objects. Anyways the bridal party although initially asking if she would pay have offered to pay for the dress themselves after she just explained she thought it was a bit too expensive.

The weddings in our family are generally low key. So not very familiar with the whole bridesmaid, groomsmen business

Was curious about two things
1. Who usually pays for bridesmaid dress? (Do groomsmen have to pay for matching suits I guess?
2. Would you be bridesmaid/groomsmen for someone you are not that close with?

Cheerioh

Gimli son of Gloin

General Discussion

closed Comments

  • Hiroko on 17/06/2017 - 13:17
    +5
    1. Usually bride and groom forks out
      You cant put a price on having your best man / bridesmaid standing beside you on one of the biggest/stressful days of your life
    2. It depends on how much it meant to them to have me by their side on their wedding day
    • [Deactivated] on 17/06/2017 - 18:20

      I don't understand this. How did the weddings become so stressful?

      I just registered with at the town hall with the council with both our parents and a close family friend. We're asian so the excuse of cultural burdens don't really apply.

      I would argue that it is not even a significant day. It is just a celebration. The commitment was made a long time ago. In all likelihood, the legal side of the marriage was done on a different day as well.

      Guess the wedding industry's marketing was really good. It has turned weddings into a performance for friends and family rather than a celebration of a new life together.

      • gimli on 17/06/2017 - 21:42

        I guess the stress is putting on a "grand show"
        But I agree weddings have become very monetised. :(

      • Hiroko on 18/06/2017 - 20:44

        i admire that you celebrated your wedding with only those who are closest to you. that is all one could really ask for to make the day special.
        but when you come from an asian family with many business partners it is more or less an obligation to entertain and satisfy your guests appropriately as they would you.

  • Jakjakjak on 17/06/2017 - 13:21
    +2

    Traditionally, the bridesmaids and groomsmen pay for there outfits. However, I paid for my bridal party including outfit, shoes, hair and makeup.

  • Mrbean007 on 17/06/2017 - 13:59
    +2

    Most weddings i go to usually the bride and groom forks out for the dress/suit hair/make up
    Food and what ever comes with it at the end of the day your on hire pretty much for the whole day if you look at it in a free way

    At the end of the day they probably just where it that day anyway and never again

  • hungerlord on 17/06/2017 - 15:00
    +4
    1. Who usually pays for bridesmaid dress? (Do groomsmen have to pay for matching suits I guess?

    For most of the weddings that I've been a part of/ been to, the bride & groom would pay for the dress, hair, and makeup. I think it's basic courtesy since they know that they're asking for a favour from their friends - to take time off, help with preparations, and be a part of their special day. I agree with what Hiroko said - you simply can't put a price to this, and they shouldn't feel entitled.

    1. Would you be bridesmaid/groomsmen for someone you are not that close with?

    I wouldn't mind, as long as I'm not the maid of honour/ best man. Just because you'll be expected to put in heaps of time and effort to help out with the planning etc. starting from months before the wedding. I wouldn't do that for someone I'm not that close with.

    • gimli on 17/06/2017 - 20:46

      that's what i thought. It is humbling to be asked to help out but at the same time i feel it is a bit excessive to ask people to fork out that much. Essentially you forking out money for "friendship." perhaps people think differently but the way I see it is I would spend money on family, perhaps a few very close friends (who are equivalent to family) but these are people who I would fight with to pay the bill lol. Also they would no what a cheapskate I am LOL

  • chumlee on 17/06/2017 - 21:00
    +3

    The bride & groom should be paying for clothes, shoes, make up, hair etc.

    If they can't afford it don't have bridesmaids and groomsmen.

    • gimli on 17/06/2017 - 21:36

      Or be more flexible with clothes etc.
      I think if you know your bridesmaids/groomsmen well enough to have an idea of how much they spend on clothes and go within there budget then it would be OK.

      TBH I would still feel bad if someone forked out alot of money on wedding clothes for me to be part of the bridal party. (Because to me its just clothes and I spend enough to look decent, don't need brand name stuff but thats just me). I guess if bridal party are working towards a certain appearance then thats upto them.

  • lupiter on 17/06/2017 - 21:36
    +1

    At most of the weddings I've been involved in, bridesmaids/groomsmen pay for clothes, bride/groom pay for hair/makeup. But it's also not been quite that expensive, maybe $100 to $200?

    Bridesmaids and groomsmen at my wedding paid for their own, but it was more of a dress code (long dark blue dress, black suit and tie) than a "buy this $400 dress". Some wore stuff they already owned, also fine with me.

    • gimli on 17/06/2017 - 21:41

      I think that is a much more sensible approach.

      I think 100-200 is reasonable for a formal dress or suit. But I think most people probably pay much more than that?

      The way I was thinking is that if my most expensive dress/suit is $150 and I'm asked to spend $400 on matching suit I'm essentially paying $250+(well in reality it is $400) just to be part of the bridal party and I have to weigh up if that is is worth it.

  • TheBilly on 18/06/2017 - 09:45
    +1

    I did this once for a good mate, to be honest everyone has said it above, they should pay, its not about closeness. If you want groomsmen and bridesmaids then fork out. Its like saying, I want my wedding at the best hall in Sydney and Im going to charge all my guests a $250 per head entry fee. It would be extremely arrogant to think people would want to pay to enter your wedding. Same thing applies. If you are a really good friend and want them by your side, you pay for it.

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