How much to spend on friends wedding in Oz..?

antzz on 20/05/2017 - 00:57

How much do you normally spend for wishing well or wedding gift?

Our friend was getting married in Oz and since we have lived abroad for a while, me and mrs will go just for the wedding and spend weekend in Sydney. This friend is our uni friend and while close we wouldn't say they are in our closest circles

As i am not aware of normal wedding cost in darling harbour area, how much is normal to contribute to their wishing well or spend on hong bao or wedding gift. This is for both of us

On a side note, do you usually contribute your share only for the cost of food, or for the cost of whole wedding estimate? Or these things is not the considerations at all and just drop $50 or $100 per head. I am not sure what is socialy normal in oz

Thanks

General Discussion

Comments

  • chinezejew on 20/05/2017 - 01:14
    +2

    $100+ per head usually.
    $333 for a pair for my last wedding
    Half a lobster for main n drinks was served.

    • antzz on 20/05/2017 - 13:44

      $333 per pair. Is this standard in area around city for a nice wedding hall. Is this only for food or also for decor music etc?

      • chinezejew on 20/05/2017 - 14:11

        Gift giving is from the heart.

        Info gathered from friends wedding budget showed food cost $130ish pp for a lobster dinner. (3yrs ago)

        There ain't a correct answer to your question.

  • PJC on 20/05/2017 - 01:16
    +1

    Just give bride and groom a Bugatti Chiron each.

    • Toons on 20/05/2017 - 01:27
      +1

      well that settles it, just been given a reason to get remarried

      Do we get to pick colours or is that just a bit OTT

      • PJC on 20/05/2017 - 01:41

        Have your Coat of Arms embossed on the steering wheel.

        • Toons on 20/05/2017 - 02:04
          +1

          Why not seems reasonable.

          I went overseas to a wedding and was given a brand new Bentley continental to drive around in.

          took it for a bit of a showboating rap around some of the streets to see what it could do which was all fine nothing i couldn't handle

          so glad i never got pulled when i went back to the castle the guy who loaned me it said oh can i just grab something out the boot

          -stash of real samurai swords that you could drop the silk over and it would slice in 2-

          would have had a hard job explaining contents of the boot never mind being done for speeding in a car that wasn't mine with a stash of weapons like that.

          It definitely cold have been ball and chain wedding that one

        • PJC on 20/05/2017 - 02:53

          @Toons: It was decent of him to lend you his butler's spare car.

        • antzz on 20/05/2017 - 13:58
          +1

          @Toons: yes, i have attended over-the-top wedding where they put parades of supercars to show off their wealth. As one of the people closed with them, i was asked to help to drive one of the super car for the parade and have 30 minutes driving training with instructor before hand.

          Nothing special, but good photo ops and bragging rights for no cost on my parts.

    • antzz on 20/05/2017 - 13:42
      +1

      We thought about this but this chiron does not fit our luggage. Bugger

  • Toons on 20/05/2017 - 01:24
    +2

    The acceptable practice seems to be give what you can afford, Also what they choose to spend on a wedding is up to them and shouldn't play a part factoring a gift some are completely over the top in every way, some are just what they need

    If it's local "friends" or people we associate with infrequently we at least try to cover cost of hosting us i.e the $100 per head you mentioned.

    We look at it in the realm of what would we pay for a decent meal out and a couple of drinks.

    If you're travelling from overseas i've not known anyone to expect anything from them. there may be customary things certain cultures do for good luck. i.e i don't know what the Hong Bao is without looking it up.

    if they are really seeing you as friends then your presence should be enough, they know they are asking a lot more of you than most, for you to travel, take time off work, pay for accommodation etc.

    • antzz on 20/05/2017 - 13:41

      To be honest, we dont mind flying to Sydney from time to time as we really like the city. This is just an excuse we need to come over. On top of that we get to meet lots of old friends at the party.

  • aromatase on 20/05/2017 - 01:29

    100-150 per head cash usually.
    If uni student 100 usually.
    If working then closer to 150.
    I heard some more wealthy (dentists / bankers etc.) give 200+.

    Depends on the guests, and Asian weddings tend to only be cash. Not unusual to break even for the wedding. A nice custom of Asian weddings I think.

    • antzz on 20/05/2017 - 13:47

      Yes, in some asian city it is also common people prefer not to be invited by common friend / office friend weddings as the cost can accumulate quickly.

    • John Kimble on 20/05/2017 - 16:14

      Not unusual to break even for the wedding

      It's not unusual to be loved by anyone. It not unusual to have fun with anyone.

      It's not unusual to actually make profit too.

  • [Deactivated] on 20/05/2017 - 01:50

    a true ozbargainer, wouldn't ask the question because they would know that its not a bargain to give others your money for nothing in return.
    these days with 50% change they will separate, id just take them out for a nice dinner a year or 4 once they have been together.

    • Lord Fart Bucket on 20/05/2017 - 06:36
      +2

      Hmmm… consider invoicing the couple for your attendance…

      • PJC on 20/05/2017 - 06:50

        That is his Agent's job.

  • easternculture on 20/05/2017 - 08:40
    +1

    a few dozen eneloops should do the job

    • antzz on 20/05/2017 - 13:38

      Unfortunately i might get detained bringing in couple dozen of eneloops on flight :)

  • Almost Banned on 20/05/2017 - 09:51
    -1

    I think it is awful to ask your guests to give you cash as a wedding gift.

    • John Kimble on 20/05/2017 - 12:00
      +2

      It's common in many cultures.

    • antzz on 20/05/2017 - 13:51

      We and our friend who will wed are of asian heritage so hong bao with money inside or jewelry is quite common practice. However, They have a gift registry going as well.

      For my curiosity, In western culture, is it insulting if you give them cash instead of wedding gift?

      • Almost Banned on 20/05/2017 - 14:06

        Sadly it has become commonplace to extort your family and friends for cash to pay for your wedding/honeymoon/life under cover of a wedding gift.
        If I invite someone to a party I do it because I want their company and expect nothing in return.
        Sadly this point of view seems to be very old fashioned.

        • antzz on 20/05/2017 - 23:38

          In asian culture, gift giving is really more about saving face and showing off your status in society. So the more better off you are the more likely you are inclined to give more than you have to. Not only on weddings, any social gathering is like this. It is shallow i know but it is engrained in the culture so much it is hard to shake down.

          Unfortunately, for the young and starting up their life this has become an expectation when calculating their cost of wedding. Well when they are mature and has more money, you repay this to the younger generation.

  • Mad Max on 20/05/2017 - 23:04

    What about if the reception is in a cheapish venue like a bowls club and the food is just a few trays of finger food with beers and wine? Is it still $100-150 per person?

  • antzz on 20/05/2017 - 23:43

    Just additional silly question, have you guys crash to people wedding?

  • tingleping on 09/07/2017 - 20:50

    As someone who is planning a wedding & has only gone to a couple as an adult, I'd say the polite thing to do would be to cover your cost or as close to it. Most of the time I would give $100 or $150. Usually it will cost them a lot more & if you're able, giving a bit extra to help them towards their new start in life is always super nice (:

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