Am i the tight***? Splitting bills?

Austrian Oak on 17/05/2017 - 22:22

Ok, i know bill splitting has come up before but i just want to get your thoughts.

I find that whenever I go out to dinner with mates, a select few seem to order all the expensive dishes, or extras and then when it's time for the bill to come, they're all let's just divide it equally.

I'm sick of paying for everyone elses shite. Recently we got delivery and i ordered one dish at $13.50. There were 5 of us and the bill came to $150 because everyone basically ordered two dishes, extras etc. Of course everyone says let's split, so I end up paying more than double for my meal. $30

I feel like if i speak up then i'm the tightarse. So i just grind my teeth and pay up. Am i alone? Others more vocal?

Food & Grocery

Comments

    • Scrooge McDuck on 20/05/2017 - 01:00
      +2

      Oh yeah? How would you pay $45 Mr Smarty Pants?

    • DiscoJango on 20/05/2017 - 08:26

      you know how fat $1 & $2 coins make my wallet?!!!

  • BumbaT on 20/05/2017 - 00:21

    Split the bill the way its supposed to be split, by what people ordered. You only equally split the bill when you are sharing food and drink.

  • [Deactivated] on 20/05/2017 - 03:45

    I feel the same way.

    I don't mind doing even split, so long I'm being told ahead of time.

    If we're going "each their own" and I want to save some cash, I'll order something cheap for myself. If at the end of the meal they turn around and be like "we'll split evenly", I'd be a bit pissed because then I would have treated myself too.

  • Name on 20/05/2017 - 07:04
    +1

    They're your friends aren't they? Just be straight up about it. They're not going to stop being your friend just because you don't want to evenly split a bill. Any true friend would get that.

    One of our friends (husband wife and kids, my wife has known the other wife for about 20 years) don't do takeaway as they don't have the money. They say up front and suggest catching up after dinner as they'll just have something from home (an option).

    Years ago we just thought fine, sounds like a plan. But, now we're in a better financial situation we just cover the whole takeaway order. It's not a regular weekly thing, so we don't mind.

  • Ivan Krazy on 20/05/2017 - 08:53
    +1

    I usually split bills. I get cash out before going out on what I expect to pay roughly and place it on the table on my share. I think it's fair and simple.

    On another note, my boyfriend sneakily wants to pay on occasions when going out and makes up excuses like: I need to go to the toilet and pays the bill. I do that too now. I don't like when he always has to pay so I pull some tricks up my sleeve such as getting his card out from his phone wallet so I know he can't pay :)

  • Skramit on 20/05/2017 - 10:37
    +3

    As a true ozbargainer I never get takeaway or eat out. I make my own bread and have Vegemite sandwiches (only if Vegemite has been on special).

    • striker5950 on 20/05/2017 - 11:47

      you give tightarse a whole new meaning skramit

      • Skramit on 20/05/2017 - 14:41
        +1

        Thank you for the kind compliment.

  • Twodogs on 20/05/2017 - 12:04
    +2

    Order Lobster everytime , and when they say you'll have to pay more just raise your voice and say the first time i order something more expensive than your's all of a sudden were not splitting the bill ? and then laugh quietly into your napkin Profit.

  • HoneyComb on 20/05/2017 - 14:14
    +1

    Easy. if you have this problem. Try suggest a restuarants where everyone shares dishes. chinese restuarants /yum cha are like this. you order X dishes. Put them all in the middle of the table and everyone takes one of everything.

    • treeman on 22/05/2017 - 13:37

      Or a restaurant that lets you pay separately.

  • Biance on 20/05/2017 - 15:00

    I think your friends are unusual, especially in the example you gave.

    All of my different friend groups will automatically split the bill evenly where people have clearly eaten their own separate meals. If the restaurant doesn't do split billing (and their receipt doesn't list the items) then we will request to have the menu back and it passes around the table and everyone puts in for what they ordered. Everyone will tend to put in a bit more than what they ordered (eg. $15 for $13.50), and that will cover any sides for the table and any miscalculations and usually end up with the person making the payment winning a little.

    The exception to this is things like Chinese, Indian and tapas - where all the meals are supposedly shared with the table. This is extremely frustrating for me as a vegetarian, because at these places the meat dishes are typically far higher priced (sometimes like $40 vs $10). Unless there are other vegetarians attending (so I can comfortably order a bunch of dishes to try) I come up with excuses for events held at these types of restaurants and just don't go.

    • thanatos350 on 20/05/2017 - 15:06

      I think in the situation you described with vego Vs meat, it could be a good idea to publically announce the difference in price as you're ordering: "Wowza! The difference between vego and meat dishes is crayzay!".

      That way people are actually aware of the difference, because I think that a lot of people just don't think.

  • thanatos350 on 20/05/2017 - 15:02

    I don't eat out with friends very often, but my group of guys are pretty chill and would probably give a little more than what they ordered anyway.

    If you give less than what you ordered, and especially if they are the one suggesting an even split - then they are either stupid, sneaky or just assholes.

    If I ordered something for 13.50 I'd probably just give 15 or whatever. I'm fine with paying a couple of dollars more for the sake of convenience, but I wouldn't be cool with paying twice the price of my meal.

  • bobbified on 20/05/2017 - 15:46

    For everyone that says to just "pay your own", I'm curious as to what it's like when you go out with a bunch of mates and you have drinks at the bar - does everyone just go line up themselves and get their own drinks? Do you ever do "rounds" where one person pays and it goes around where everyone takes turns to buy the full round?

    • [Deactivated] on 21/05/2017 - 15:21
      +1

      Yes, we usually get our own drinks. Can't imagine ordering 7++ different drinks.

      Usually the same few people does rounds to impress the girls. There are a couple of people who don't/very seldom buy rounds for the whole group. I am one of them (I seldom buy for the whole group). However, I do grab a few of my closer buddies and/or the few generous-usual-round-buyers and buy them drinks myself. It never breaks even though, but they still keep doing that. Shrugs

  • Weezle on 20/05/2017 - 16:12
    +3

    Download and install splitwise, that's what I do with my mates.

  • dbun1 on 20/05/2017 - 16:34
    +2

    We always adjust for those that either didn't drink alcohol or ordered something cheaper (usually those that are vegetarians) and then split the rest of the bill.

    It's not fair for non-drinkers to subsidise the bill for those that had some alcoholic drinks and the same goes for meals too.

  • mranderson978 on 20/05/2017 - 16:50
    +1

    Pay your own way.
    Take cash with you and put it on the table at the end of the meal.

  • Shadowsfury on 20/05/2017 - 17:03

    Get your friends to start using the splitwise app (splitting exactly per. Correct share) and settle every so often

  • [Deactivated] on 20/05/2017 - 17:30
    -1

    If I went out to dinner with a friend or group of friends and someone suggested paying for each individual item that would be the last time I had dinner with them.

    Perhaps OK if you're a Uni student or teenager but not for adults.

    • [Deactivated] on 20/05/2017 - 17:47
      +2

      It does get difficult when the wine bill is more than the meal and people like me are Cottees cordial $2 specials.

    • mskeggs on 20/05/2017 - 22:50

      I understand, but apparently we're in the minority.
      I can't imagine auditing a bunch of work friends consumption to make sure they all pay their exact bill, but apparently some here do.
      The idea of splitting the bill equally is interesting.
      I think a part of it is social (peer!) pressure to enjoy oneself and let go if it is a celebratory evening.
      If everyone takes the approach that they will get stuck with an equal share of the bill, so they may as well get their money's worth, drinks, dessert etc. would flow.
      It ends in a costlier, and more extravagant night for everyone, but often nights worth remembering.

      • xoom on 21/05/2017 - 00:25
        +2

        yes but sometimes its remembered for the wrong reasons because someone gets dudded because they ate or drink so little because they just cant consume that much. lets say someones wife was petite and gets full too quickly so can only eat a small amount. they are still expected fo pay the shared bill?

      • [Deactivated] on 21/05/2017 - 15:24
        +1

        Never ever cave to peer pressure (It never ends up good for oneself).

    • omgitzrick on 21/05/2017 - 12:22
      +1

      If I had dinner with someone who thought this way that would be the last time I had dinner with them.

    • samfisher5986 on 23/05/2017 - 11:08
      -1

      Can we go out to dinner together?

      I can't wait to buy $200 wine, $80 steak and $50 worth of sides….

  • andoxcv on 20/05/2017 - 18:41
    +1

    That's no brainer mate, order the most expensive too…that way the cost is equally divided…

  • nikey2k27 on 20/05/2017 - 19:00

    speak up or shut up i am same i learn order same amount of food.

  • itstuan on 20/05/2017 - 20:54

    No you're not tightass, next time you're dining with this group of friends. Just order some extra take-away. Do this until your group of friends decide they should pay for their worth of order instead.
    Unless you all like to sharing meals, thats when you should split equally.

  • Mrgreenz on 20/05/2017 - 22:11

    If I was was in that situation I would have gave 15 and said theres my share.

    Split bill if theres a few bucks in it but not when people are ordering more than double you

  • carolina88 on 20/05/2017 - 23:08
    +2

    Watch and learn:

    Friends Season 2, Episode 5
    The One With Five Steaks and an Eggplant

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I53n7ldcSGo

  • yellowrhino93 on 21/05/2017 - 03:52

    i clearly state to everyone whether we split bill or we pay seperately one or the other and make sure every single person understands

    • John Kimble on 21/05/2017 - 07:57

      Haha. Okay boss!

      • yellowrhino93 on 22/05/2017 - 03:56
        +1

        the last time I went out to dinner with friends I explicitly made it clear. One person ordered a $250 lobster…glad i didn't split that one haha

  • maddoglee on 21/05/2017 - 10:50
    -1

    Just don't be so tight… if its not all that often, be thankful that you have friends to go out with…
    Its not worth letting it eat at you. If anything, pay your share and add a bit extra to help cover anything else. If there are girls there, they always get jipped because they never eat as much!

    • montorola on 21/05/2017 - 12:24

      If there's girls there they generally expect men to pay for them anyway (in my experience)

  • [Deactivated] on 21/05/2017 - 12:16

    Our friendship group is close enough where we can tell each other to f**k off and pay what for what they ordered without offending anyone. We've always split the bill into what we ordered though unless we were sharing everything (pizza for example).

  • omgitzrick on 21/05/2017 - 12:23
    +2

    Speak up. If they have a go at you over this then get better friends.

  • ddkistaken on 21/05/2017 - 14:53

    Why would you split equally? Speak up, I'd never pay more than what I consumed.

  • Excelsior on 21/05/2017 - 16:12

    "Silence is consent".

    If portions are not shared then clearly you have a valid argument. Just speak up and say something as simple as "mine's $xx, here's my share".

    When your group of 'friends' have a problem with that then maybe it's time to find some new friends lol.

  • lysp on 21/05/2017 - 17:02

    Normally in my group will round up to the nearest 5/10.

    Depending on the number of people it'll often be 10-20 over and will leave that as a tip.

  • [Deactivated] on 21/05/2017 - 18:02

    should have ordered more if split bills

  • xoom on 21/05/2017 - 20:32
    -2

    im getting the vibe here the ones who want to split the bill equally are those who like to out order the next person then wants the rest group to subsidise their purchases.

    im with lysp. when i order i usually round out to the nearest five or ten come time to pay the bill.

    there are times when a colleague is leaving work to go elsewhere. i go over what i should pay and the one leaving work ends up having their meal paid for by everyone including me. any extra cash they get to keep.

  • minniethemoocher on 21/05/2017 - 20:41

    I wonder if you ordered up big what your friends would do? They probably would suggest just paying for what they ordered not splitting the bill. People are funny like that, they think it's ok when they do it but not anyone else.

  • sagitox on 22/05/2017 - 00:45

    It depends how often this is happening. Do you go out to eat with your friends every night? Every other night? Once a week? Once every two weeks? Once a month? Depending on how often it is, my answer will change. If it's more frequent, you might want to bring it up with your friends and suggest how you want everyone to pay for their food individually (not split, but collate all the money). If it's less frequent, like every two weeks or maybe once a month, I wouldn't bother about changing anything. Maybe get your moneys worth and order a more expensive meal or buy two (as you will get more for your money).

    With me and my friends, we often get the bill and work out what we ordered and put in that much money. Giving the cash to one person from the group, who counts it and makes sure we have enough. If we are short, everyone pitches in a dollar or two to get it to the amount and maybe a little extra (tip for the waiter/waitress). That way we pay for our own meal and drink/s without splitting it exactly between however many people there are (which is unfair for those who ordered less/less expensive meals and/or drink/s).

  • BeauKilla on 22/05/2017 - 00:54

    When eating in a no split bill situation, I always go to the counter after I've finished eating and pay for my meal with my cc, if everyone then decides to split it's very easy to say "oh I've already paid for my meal at the counter" easy done, the rest of the party can please themselves.
    I've had the staff not happy with me but I hold firm, if they want to enforce no split bills then they can add up the total in split payments themselves, that's part of their job.

  • treeman on 22/05/2017 - 13:36

    I am with you, I hate bill splitting and am happy to do the mathematical equations necessary to figure out the costs.
    I don't drink alcohol, and usually get the cheaper meals too.

  • nicorosberg on 22/05/2017 - 14:19
    +3

    Definitely speak up before hand, I once had dinner with two couples and THEIR kids and it was suggested we split the bill 3 ways – like WTH!

    • xoom on 22/05/2017 - 18:12

      How about a 'hello no!'

      Thats what i would have said.

  • Xastros on 24/05/2017 - 00:21
    -1

    I am genuinely surprised about the attitude of the majority of posters here. Seems to be that most people think you only split bills if you want to take advantage of others. There are many people out there who just don't want to be that calculative when going out with friends and people you supposedly care about.

    Try to think of it this way. If you end up paying more than what you ordered, why get mad about it when the extra money is going towards paying for people who you care about? If you care that much about paying an extra $30 for these people then are they really your friends? I am not saying everyone has to do this but if you don't want to speak up then thinking about it this way can help change your mindset and allow you to not feel bitter about it. If you really can't make peace with this then you should speak up because true friends wouldn't hold this against you.

    Another way to think about it: If you actually think these people are splitting the bill deliberately to take advantage of you, do you want to be their friend?

    I know there are genuinely people who are ordering more to take advantage of split billing but the attitude on here seems to be that everyone who wants to split bills does it for this reason which is certainly not the case. Some people just don't care as much about money then you. Don't automatically assume the worst of everyone.

    Yes my group of friends always splits the bill. I generally pay more than my fair share because I don't drink alcohol with meals and my wife doesn't eat much. Some people 'win' and otherse 'lose' but it's ok because we are among friends.

    Again, not saying everyone has to split bills but there is more than 1 way of thinking. Not everyone is out to get you.

    • xoom on 24/05/2017 - 08:10

      I got no problem if friends are ordering roughly the same amount of food price wise but when you get people who would go all out with the most expensive stuff just so they dont feel dudded when splitting bill then you can see our point of view.

      And just because not everyone is out to get you doesnt mean these people are not out there.

      • Xastros on 24/05/2017 - 10:40

        I did acknowledge in my post that there are those people out there. If these are your 'friends' you should not be friends with them. Why would you want to be friends with a person who wants to take advantage of you?

        What I was pointing out is that in this thread there are a lot of people assuming that if someone orders more food/drink and want to split the bill evenly that they are definitely just out to take advantage of you. I'm just saying that is definitely not the case and that some people just don't think it is a big deal and if you were to order the lobster they would still be willing to split the bill.

        • Baghern on 10/06/2017 - 21:58

          Most of the responses isn't about what you're talking about.

          Its about ignorance and selfishness of not thinking about the ones who order less. Who possibly can't afford to pay more.

          You're taking the opposite angle, which though isn't wrong, its selfish, as it doesnt consider people who are your friends.

  • sydmummy71 on 14/06/2017 - 13:54

    You should try some apps like splitwise or groupee when you're eating out :) Always use these apps with my girlfriends when we split bills

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