Someone at work is eating my lunch on a regular basis - how can I get back at them without getting in trouble

sausagedelay on 18/01/2017 - 18:42
Last edited 25/01/2017 - 15:35

As title suggests someone at work is eating my lunch 2-3x a week. Yes I put a name tag on my food, both on the plastic bag and then on the lunchbox. This theft almost always occur 99% of the time I get takeaway such as a sushi box or some kind of takeaway. Other times they'll look in my lunch box and nick parts of my lunch such as my chobani yoghurt or up and go other prepackaged snacks.

The higher-ups won't let me view CCTV and they said they'll investigate and despite reporting it in early December, it's been happening again shortly after the Christmas/New Years break. Friends have suggested putting unbearably hot spices or laxatives or something to mess with them but I have the feeling I'd get in trouble.

Any suggestions?

update: i will go with a really hot sauce and put it in one of my lunches, thanks for the ideas guys :) Will let you know how it goes
update 2: purchased hot sauce as someone suggested in the comments from the chilli factory, will keep you updated

Education & Work

Comments

    • kasp on 19/01/2017 - 08:19
      +2

      With the really hot stuff water doesnt help. Even milk is temp relief at best they will be riding through the storm.

    • PleasureMe on 20/01/2017 - 09:08
      +2

      most kitchens have a tap with an endless supply of water

  • MeesusEff on 18/01/2017 - 19:24
    +20

    Why would you get in trouble for putting things in your own food that has a label, unless you yourself forget and accidentally eat it. I would go for laxatives, person can chalk it up to food poisoning and if they keep doing it, they might catch on and stop taking your food (but they ll probably just move on to someone else's). Not like they are going to go up to you and go 'HEY, whats with all your bad food, can you get them fresh so I can continue to scab your lovely lunch items'.

    • WT on 19/01/2017 - 11:28
      +2

      You can go chili first. Mild to start with to see if they keep stealing it. Keep feeding your pet so they become used to it.

      after a couple of weeks, kick it up to the most enticing looking lunch you can muster with the hottest chili available. Make it a saucy dish like curry so you can also add lots of laxatives.

      Hide all milk/water in the office for the afternoon. Remove all TP from the bathrooms.

      Follow up a week later with haribo sugar free gummy bears left in the fridge hidden in the plastic bag.

      • BartholemewH on 19/01/2017 - 20:51

        Haribo gummies… you just had to go too far….

    • kasp on 20/01/2017 - 10:35
      -3

      You can't booby trap items despite the fact someone is stealing it.

      Same reason you can't setup a spike trap for thieves as people are still protected by the law despite breaking the law themselves.

      To get around that basically use a food item like super hot chilli. Sure it might be at levels that will put the person in agony for 20 minutes but people have different tolerances and whoops you might have been a bit too liberal with your chilli sauce that day.

      As opposed to trying to answer why you would put laxatives in your sandwich.

  • altomic on 18/01/2017 - 19:25
    +42

    time to bring in a dog shit kebab

      • UFO on 20/01/2017 - 21:00

        nup, I think he had it right the first time :).

        • Oofy Doofy on 20/01/2017 - 21:23
          -2

          Just sounds better calling it 'the', as it's placing emphasis on bringing in the big guns for a problem.

          Just my opinion.

          "Time to bring in the dog shit kebab"

  • [Deactivated] on 18/01/2017 - 19:31
    +6

    Plenty of safe electronic options. A light or movement alarm inside your lunchbox if you are in earshot. Maybe a pelican lunchbox with padlock. There are even loud noise makers using just a twisted rubber band and cardboard. If you have an old smart phone, you could put a movement sensor app or camera to your other phone.

  • airzone on 18/01/2017 - 19:42
    +3

    Somebody at an old company I worked for used laxatives. Then kept an eye out for the guy who was visiting the loo every 15 minutes.

    • deadpoet on 19/01/2017 - 20:37

      Did it work? Did he confront the thief? What happened?

      • John Kimble on 19/01/2017 - 20:55
        +8

        Tell me more, tell me more, did he poop on the floor!?

      • airzone on 20/01/2017 - 07:41
        +1

        Yes and yes. Problem was resolved without further incident.

  • PJC on 18/01/2017 - 19:42
    +11

    Does the thief like Haribo Gummi Bears?

    • Baebs on 18/01/2017 - 19:51
      +13

      Sugar free*

      • iamblaq on 20/01/2017 - 00:30

        Can someone explain to me the significance behind these sugar free gummy bears???? I'm dying to know.

        • scrimshaw on 20/01/2017 - 00:53
          +18

          A better scientific explanation — some lollies use a widely known fake sugar called maltitol, a sugar alternative that tastes sweet but doesn't contribute to making you fat and giving you diabetes.

          It's a sugar alcohol that has been altered in the lab to make it's carbohydrates difficult to digest so you can snack relatively guilt free. But there's a downside to this and it's part of the reason why you shouldn't have too much in one sitting.

          Maltitol isn't easily digested by the human body — your saliva isn't able to process it so lots of it ends up in your stomach and gut. Your digestive system tries to process it, but very, very slowly, so much of it doesn't get digested and instead it hangs around and coats your stomach.

          this is where the nightmare begins: Osmosis is the tendency of molecules to move across a membrane. Generally solvents – in this case water – move across a membrane to an area with a high concentration of solutes – in this case undigested sugars. In other words, having these sugars in your gut causes a lot of water to migrate into your stomach and intestine.

          Generally when your body needs to give the digestive system a spring clean, it flushes your gut with a large amount of water and this is what causes diarrhea.

          The contents of your stomach, which is now watery due to osmosis, quickly drains into your colon where you will begin to feel the need to poop and the flatulence that comes with it is the result of the stool moving along and pushing everything ahead of it.

        • PJC on 20/01/2017 - 01:43
          +1

          @scrimshaw: Now where can OP acquire about 50ml/mg of maltitol?

        • PJC on 20/01/2017 - 01:53

          @scrimshaw: This doesn't seem expensive:-
          http://www3.netrition.com/josephs_sf_maltitol.html

        • iamblaq on 20/01/2017 - 08:50

          @scrimshaw:

          Extremely detailed, thank you!

          I am someone who uses sugar alternatives frequently. Not these lollies in particular… I think I'll avoid..

        • plastic spoon on 21/01/2017 - 01:25

          @scrimshaw: I wish you were my bio and/or chem teacher. Great explanation!

    • EmCKay on 18/01/2017 - 19:54
      +3

      Those sugar free ones will work a treat!

      • PJC on 18/01/2017 - 20:10
        +1

        That's what I meant.

        • chriise on 18/01/2017 - 21:56
          +6

          "Then came the, uh, flatulence. Heavens to Murgatroyd, the sounds, like trumpets calling the demons back to Hell…"

          Gets me every time!

          https://www.amazon.com/gp/customer-reviews/R3FTHSH0UNRHOH/re…

        • PJC on 19/01/2017 - 00:05
          +1

          @chriise: Those reviews are the funniest I have read for ages!

        • PJC on 19/01/2017 - 01:46

          @xdreamyst: Thanks there is some gold there. Some day I might watch a couple of the YouTube challenges. These sweets do seem ideal for Halloween.

  • thiosuxtube on 18/01/2017 - 19:48
    +8

    This reminds me of a funny article I once read…
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2732898/Dear-Sandwic…

  • holdenmg on 18/01/2017 - 19:58
    +46

    Put a Label on your Lunch that says "Gluten Free"

    Nobody will touch it.

    • Cluster on 19/01/2017 - 15:42
      +5

      It won't work if your office has females under the age of 30. They're obsessed about anything gluten free. Apparently, it makes food instantly healthy.

  • [Deactivated] on 18/01/2017 - 19:59
    +48

    Leave a sticky note (pun not indended) on your food saying "I hope you've enjoyed all my food! Last three weeks they've been injected with my semen. Chobani yogurt and all :)"

    • hilariouspowerr on 30/01/2017 - 20:56

      I'd sit at the fridge waiting for that exact reaction!

  • inherentchoice on 18/01/2017 - 20:02
    +4

    Kids at school used to eat Clag Paste.

    It's non toxic. And with the texture and colour the offender may think it's something else.

    http://www.officeworks.com.au/shop/officeworks/p/bostik-clag…

    • Oofy Doofy on 18/01/2017 - 22:43
      +1

      I think people missed your joke there, haha

      • inherentchoice on 18/01/2017 - 22:51
        +1

        I didn't want to be too explicit. It is a bit R rated, or shall I say X rated.

        • [Deactivated] on 18/01/2017 - 22:57
          +5

          You've gotta be explicit around here or no-one gets the meaning between the lines.

  • Euphemistic on 18/01/2017 - 20:21

    Was told a story today about a guy that used to take what wasn't his, not the whole lunch, but he'd help himself to a slice of bread and sauces etc. payback was finding the hottest chilli sauce and putting into the 'mild' bottle, then encouraging him to finish it off. Apparently didn't borrow food anymore.

    Test it with mild chilli first to see if the theif will eat food with chilli, then get some super hot stuff.

  • minniethemoocher on 18/01/2017 - 20:27
    +2

    I really don't know how you could get in trouble for putting hot spices or wasabi in food in your labelled lunch box. Get the sushi bar to make some sushi for you specially with loads of wasabi in the middle. That will put them off.

  • John Kimble on 18/01/2017 - 20:33
    +6

    Put something in your food similar to the dye (if it exists; food grade obviously) they put in the clothes security tags? Then see who has it on their hands/face/mouth?

  • kolorijo on 18/01/2017 - 20:37
    +2

    rat poison

    • The Wololo Wombat on 19/01/2017 - 12:59
      +2

      Hahahahaha. Funny :) I upvoted.

      • kolorijo on 19/01/2017 - 13:52
        +5

        Finally someone who can see the funny side of it. Everyone seems to take everything too seriously these days :)

  • Randxyz123 on 18/01/2017 - 20:51

    Get some sushi for lunch. Ask for extra wasabi.

    Don't see how you could get in trouble. I mean you probably COULD given you've been to your boss so they'll suspect you did something to the food if someone is running around screaming for water.

    You could try rigging something like this http://www.ehow.com/how_4965580_build-lunchbox-alarm.html It'll be cheap to make and won't harm the person.

  • aoeueoa on 18/01/2017 - 21:05
    +30

    This happened to my gf. My plan is to make your normal food, but try to include cherry tomatoes, a red pasta sauce, or something to disguise your chili bomb. Make a small incision into a cherry tomato and scoop out the insides, then fill it with a whole chili blended. You plant that in your meal but mark it with something so you know not to eat it. That way, by the time they realise it's a chili bomb they would pretty much have the whole contents spread inside their mouth and it'll be too late to spit it out.

  • StewBalls on 18/01/2017 - 21:28
    +16

    Can you please make sausage sandwiches for tomorrow, and don't skimp on the BBQ sauce this time…

  • nakahanap on 18/01/2017 - 21:45
    +10

    Food dye. Matched to the colour of the food.

    Failing that…

    http://crimefeed.com/2015/03/5-ways-get-revenge-co-workers-s…

    • zappy32 on 18/01/2017 - 22:01
      +2

      This is actually the best idea.

      Totally safe to eat but near impossible to get off without waiting hours. It doesn't cause anything but embarrassment and perhaps a green tongue. Just a couple of undiluted drops will be enough.

      In case you have never used food dye before, undiluted food dye is incredibly strong and hard to get off(even your tongue).

  • Donaldhump on 18/01/2017 - 21:51
    +3

    Wipe your bread between your cheeks then make a sandwich.

  • djmm on 18/01/2017 - 22:10

    One word, nannycam.

  • [Deactivated] on 18/01/2017 - 23:53
    +10

    One word….Durian! The lunch room (and rest of the office) will smell of it when opened and you'll catch your hamburglar. Maybe foetid surstromming.

    • buckster on 19/01/2017 - 07:35

      Bringing durian to work could be reason for dismissal - risky strategy

      • WreckTangle on 21/01/2017 - 08:44
        +3

        Plus Durian might be busy.

        • buckster on 26/01/2017 - 21:06

          Busy breaking racquet strings most likely

  • AMLagonda on 19/01/2017 - 00:36
    +1

    /me awaits the plan

    • picket23 on 19/01/2017 - 03:25
      +2

      Lol OP should have known a lunch thief would be on ozbargain looking for other ways to save a buck

    • czz on 19/01/2017 - 01:48

      Nice breaking bad style?

  • Amour on 19/01/2017 - 00:40
    +8

    I would buy a sushi box that contains chicken and leave it unrefrigerated (preferably somewhere hot), for 24 hrs. I would then pack it in your lunch box, put it in the work fridge as per usual and wait to see who takes time off with food poisoning. I can't imagine this would get you in trouble as it would be difficult to prove what made them sick.

    Failing that, leave a note in your lunch box that says 'I know who you are'. It might spook them enough to stay away from your stuff, and they can hardly complain to HR about it.

    • [Deactivated] on 19/01/2017 - 09:08
      +3

      Except food poisoning can kill a person, or bring them close to it.

      • abb on 19/01/2017 - 14:00
        +13

        So you're saying there's a chance it'll permanently solve the problem? ;)

        • [Deactivated] on 19/01/2017 - 22:29

          I see your point. Continue!

      • pmupsinep on 19/01/2017 - 20:19
        +2

        Except food poisoning can kill a person, or bring them close to it.

        And the problem is?

  • smpantsonfire on 19/01/2017 - 00:43
    +18

    While you are putting chili in the food, rub that barstard chili juice all over everything, the lunch box, any packaging, the glad wrap etc.

    When the chili in the food is too much and makes their eyes water, the culprit will rub their seedy looking eyes. You'll find out who it is pretty quick when their eyes are burning like the fiery hell pits of Mordor.

  • jlogic on 19/01/2017 - 01:17
    -3

    You all are evil!!!!!

    • sss333 on 19/01/2017 - 18:00

      Are you saying that because you eat other people's lunch?

      • jlogic on 19/01/2017 - 20:42
        -1

        No because of all the suggestions.

        Wasn't neg worthy though.

  • The Gent on 19/01/2017 - 01:26

    Put something atrocious in the sushi. My vote is earwax.

  • MelbBargainChaser77 on 19/01/2017 - 01:29

    It wouldn't be nice to suggest slug repellants in your lunch would it? Maybe go down the something about Mary road?

  • KBZ on 19/01/2017 - 01:45
    +1

    Load your next lunch with Ghost Pepper chilli, that a%hole needs to be taught a lesson.

  • ozeebee on 19/01/2017 - 01:50

    As previously suggested, whole bottle worth of laxative. Then you'll know when someone keeps running to the toilet afterwards.

  • Praeto on 19/01/2017 - 02:45
    +13

    Buy one of those greeting cards that play a noise of some sort. Pull out the contact sound module and add it to your lunchbox. See how many times the thief is willing to open a lunchbox that plays random sounds or screeches at them. :p

    You could use a proper contact alarm that's available at Bunnings for $20, but your management might not approve of 110db in the break room.

    • picket23 on 19/01/2017 - 03:22
      +5

      I like the 110db idea if management don't sort this out for you.

    • SwampCrack on 19/01/2017 - 13:47
      +1

      This is actually a really good idea.

      https://www.bunnings.com.au/swann-magnetic-door-and-window-s…

      Stick the main unit to the container and the magnetic strip to the lid for the container. Affix a warning label that advises a loud sound will be emitted when the container is opened.

      The above link is for a 2 pack so you could probably find a way to use the magnetic strip from the unused unit to disarm the device when you are opening it yourself.

  • picket23 on 19/01/2017 - 03:21
    +3

    Pubes hidden in a sandwich or whatever food. Ewwwww that's gross but wow that will teach them.

    Hmm… Probably not something I'd do at a workplace come to think of it actually. Although if you were sly people wouldn't actually know it was you…

  • ggrant on 19/01/2017 - 05:16
    +3

    Just get a lockup box. If it's tampered with at least you'll know. If asked why, it'll make the issue known. Peace of mind, issue over.

  • Lucky13 on 19/01/2017 - 05:53
    +7

    You could keep your lunch in a cooler bag at your desk with one of those freezer brick things in it to keep it cool

    http://www.kmart.com.au/product/6l-collapsible-cooler---blue… - $8
    http://www.kmart.com.au/product/gel-ice-pack---small,-blue/8… - $2

    • StewBalls on 19/01/2017 - 08:37
      -6

      In all seriousness, this (along with ggrant's lockbox idea) is the best advice on here…anything else; irrespective of comedic or natural consequence value; could very easily land you in serious trouble under the Crimes Act.

      • sky blu on 19/01/2017 - 14:40
        +1

        Seems you're the odd one here on Ozb lol

        • StewBalls on 19/01/2017 - 14:45
          -4

          Yeah, it's not like Sections 39 & 41 of the act cover this scenario or anything…OzBargainers in general are a pretty clueless bunch, they seem to think whatever brain fart they come up with is automatically correct, they don't take the consequences of their idiotic advice into consideration.

          The mods will want to be careful here, if someone does something stupid, then gets charged & suggests that they got the idea off OzB, there could be some vicarious liability issues for the owners/admins who allowed the advice to remain published despite clear warnings about the danger.

          I can assure you, if you get caught putting any noxious substance (biological, chemical, natural or synthetic) into anything with the intent of causing discomfort or harm, you are committing an offence…it's not just the law, it's also commonsense (which is kind of frowned upon around here I know). The cops won't give a stuff about nicking a bit of food out of a communal fridge, but they will care about GBH. OP has already stated there is video surveillance in the area…management might not be willing to provide the footage to the OP, but I'm quietly confident they'd willingly hand it over to authorities.

        • gooddealmate on 19/01/2017 - 14:53
          +4

          @StewBalls:

          Cue 2 weeks time: Forum Post

          Help Needed. Got sacked from my job for poisoning a colleague. Need advice on how to claim for unfair dismissal

        • StewBalls on 19/01/2017 - 14:58

          @gooddealmate: Yup, between that, the criminal charges & the civil proceedings against them, there could be quite a lifestyle change for the OP, all over a few vegemite sandwiches! ;)

        • DarwinBoy on 19/01/2017 - 22:19

          @StewBalls:
          I don't think the magistrate will listen to the OP with his defence 'but I got the idea off the Internet' very seriously if he picks the more outrageous of these recomendations. Otherwise it's the best idea ever for doing anything you want.
          Whatever the OP does he does with his own free will. I personally hope he goes with laxatives.

      • terrys on 19/01/2017 - 16:28
        +3

        Putting hot chilli in your own food could land you in trouble under the crimes act if somebody steals it?
        OK, I'll bite. How does that work then…

        • therealoptimus on 19/01/2017 - 19:56
          +5

          @StewBalls: Ok I'll bite this time. Surely you are the one trolling? Old mate asks a legitimate question based off your comment and he's a pedantic, narrow minded troll? How did you come to that conclusion?

        • MrTweek on 19/01/2017 - 19:57
          +8

          @StewBalls:
          Someone who is allergic to chilli (or anything, really) just shouldn't steal random food.
          I get that the rat poison/drugs ideas might cause some legal trouble, I don't see how chilli could.

          Some people actually like really spicy food.
          You are saying if they bring their favourite dish to work and someone who can't cope with spicy food steals it, they get in trouble?
          I hope you realize it's bullshit.

          While the cooler bag idea surely works, I think it's a terrible solution for various reasons:
          * You are paying, just because someone else is a dick
          * It won't stop them, they just might steal someone else's food
          * Seriously, they are stealing at the workplace! That's actually a crime and a good enough reason to get fired. I personally would try everything to not let them get away with it. I wouldn't care if it happened once or twice, but all the time? Come on, how is that ever acceptable?

        • StewBalls on 19/01/2017 - 20:07
          -4

          @MrTweek: Look, yes I made a sweeping statement whereas I should have been very (insert a lot more bloody very) explicit there…

          I forgot I was dealing with the pedants of OzB…I'm actually genuinely concerned about the group lack of rudimentary inference skills here; it should never have been necessary at this point to enumerate all of the discrete examples of stupidity already presented to which I was collectively referring; and having some pedant swoop on a hyper-literal narrow interpretation of what I was referring to and choose the single innocuous one is so dysfunctional that it's got to be trolling. I do set the bar low for OzB in general, but this is a jet-powered race to the bottom even for here.

          Look, honestly neg away & persist with the idiotic myopic focus all you like here, but if you guys can't think a little bit laterally from what's been explained already, that's not my issue. The take home message is that no, it's not OK to nick someone's lunch; however, attempting to harm them with foreign substances in retaliation is a demonstrable offence! There are other ways to address this situation.

          Look, you guys clearly have your small minds set here, and I've learned not to persist in ongoing pointless debates on OzB, I'll just say my piece & leave you guys to wallow in your intellectual excrement…

        • terrys on 19/01/2017 - 20:34
          +2

          @StewBalls: "Look, yes I made a sweeping statemen."
          You then made a sweeping reply to a specific question with an example that was both invalid and trivially rebutted. The purported phenomena of the 'stupid question' would make an interesting dissertation topic but such a discussion would normally be subsumed in larger fields of enquiry.

          There can however be stupid answers. No problems. If you inadvertently find yourself posting one, console yourself that most Ozbargainers have access to at least on other person with a sense of humour and will greet it with jovial bonhomie and mild ribald ribbing.

          That happens sometimes in these threads.

        • therealoptimus on 19/01/2017 - 22:59

          @StewBalls: Did you actually read the comments or just selectively read the blatantly trolling ones (i.e. rat poison) and then jump on that bloody tall horse of yours? Quick poll of the comments above this is the majority are saying chili or wasabi and you some how jump to the conclusion that everyone on here will be up for murder? I think it is you that is struggling with inference. If you can't see that blatant joke suggestions are blatant joke suggestions which again are the minority from just a quick glance then I am concerned for you and your intellectual reasoning (excrement).

      • syousef on 19/01/2017 - 20:47

        I wonder if the food dye would be so bad though. There is probably not a safety issue.

  • DiscoJango on 19/01/2017 - 08:10
    +3

    agree with some of the above comments, leave some food outside (at home) until its really, really off (rotten). This will work great with the chicken and yogurt. Then proceed to pack that in your lunch, just remember not to eat the rotten items. Wait for said person to eat it and then take some time off work because food poisoning, and as usual, when they come back, they will gossip as to why they were away for 2-3 days: omg i got sooo sick from food poisoning!

    you CANNOT get in trouble:
    1. how can they prove you deliberately put rotten food
    2. its YOUR damn food they ate, too bad!!!

    • kungfupanda on 19/01/2017 - 08:25

      +1 for this

    • syousef on 19/01/2017 - 20:52

      Food poisoning can actually be fatal (though rare, if you don't know what you're doing…) and tampering with food is illegal if you know someone's going to eat it. "it's MY damn food they ate, too bad!!!" is not a manslaughter defense I'd want to try.

      • nathand on 20/01/2017 - 09:10

        If they can prove intent you're done, the fact you have complained to management shows you were aware of people stealing your food and then if they can pull your internet history, goneski.

        Be the better person.

        • syousef on 20/01/2017 - 09:34
          +1

          Ethically, morally and from the perspective of not wanting to be reckless with other people's lives and well being I'd never do food poisoning. The only thing that would prevent me from making a mess of them with food dye however would be fear of losing my job. Two such extremely different levels of action - making someone sick vs making someone's skin and perhaps clothes turn blue.

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