24 y.o NEET, Socially Isolated - How to Plan Education and Career

Lmeeseeks on 15/11/2016 - 14:46
Last edited 15/11/2016 - 18:01

Hey everyone,

I have been a NEET (not in education, employment or training) for close to 3 years. I have been escaping the realities of life since I dropped out of Uni when I was 18 after 1 semester. I lied to everyone around me and made sure to cut off ties with all my friends. My plan was to end my life and so fell into a cycle of being suicidal and not caring for myself. That cycle was disrupted when one of my parents fell ill, compelling me to take care of them. I continued to lie and act like everything was going well in my life. I had some part time work for 2 years which was fun. I quit because I thought I was ready to end my life. When that failed I just kept lying to myself and everyone around me. I felt ashamed to seek help and though death would be the answer.

My parents found out a few months ago and I have been facing reality ever since. I am seeking help from a psychologist and am on anti depressants. I am trying to rebuild social skills, mental clarity, concentration, empathy, feelings and fitness as well. There are a whole heap of problems on my end, one of the main ones being that I have no qualifications and no path to a career.

Apart from the part time work I have helped my parents run their small business but that's about it. All the other energy was spent on maintaining my lies, browsing the depths of the internet and finding any type of escapist media and time sinks I could find (e.g. reddit, ozbargain, 4chan, whirlpool). It is shameful and disgraceful, I know.

So, I want to turn to you all as I have been unable to figure things out myself. What I have done so far:

  • in touch with a careers consultant who is helping me build resume, interview and applications skills
  • applied for UAC as a non school leaver and put in my application to attempt to get into Uni for 2017
  • brushing up my resume and interview skills
  • browsing emerging technologies and trying to see how I can develop my skills and interests to match them
  • obtained white card and RSA from tafe
  • joined one social sports league to meet new people. Trying to meet more people through regular interactions as well.

Where do I go from here?

  • thinking of studying IT as that is what I think I have the highest chance on catching up on and obtaining long term employment (the business side of IT maybe?)
  • unsure whether TAFE or Uni is better for me. Tafe would be 2 years vs Uni @ 3 years.
  • time is an issue. I feel like I have wasted too much of my time and mental capacity so I need to catch up and be sure about whatever I do. I also need to try and pay back all the money I took from my parents in the past 3 years and try and retire them within a few years so they can rest.

Thank you kind strangers.

edit: grammar

Education & Work

closed Comments

  • toniyellow on 15/11/2016 - 15:16
    +6

    Don't beat yourself up over 'wasted time'. There are plenty of 24 year olds who are not in a career job whether they spent the time between highschool at 24 at the pub or on the internet. There are plenty of people who have no savings, decide they hate their job, and want to change careers and start from scratch at all ages (they post career change topics all the time).You're effectively in the same place as them, and a lot younger than most.

    Stay off social media. It might appear like a lot of people your age have things you think you are missing. Secretly several of them probably hate their job and feel trapped in a career they chose at 18, are facing private battles,also have ill parents, any number of things that they don't broadcast publically. Nobody has their life together as much as it looks like on social media.

    Help out your parents but it doesn't need to be financial in the short term. You've already helped one through an illness, saving them the money for an at home carer. Continue to positively contribute at home - mow the lawn, clean the gutters, cook dinner so they can rest on weekends and that will help them and you right now, and you will get to spend time with them, which you won't regret.

    You seem to be in a good place working with a careers counsellor and psychologist. Keep moving forward, and don't place too much weight on the past.

  • [Deactivated] on 15/11/2016 - 16:00
    +4

    There is no shame or disgrace in procrastination and self brinkmanship. :)

  • pln on 15/11/2016 - 16:15
    +4

    To some extent I can understand what you're feeling. I started a degree from scratch at 28 when many of my friends were getting married, some having kids. At your age, you could do my degree twice over & still be younger than I was when I graduated. I found uni was much harder my 2nd time & I believe it gets harder with age, harder to retain information & harder to make friends, many days I did feel like a bit of an outcast so just prepare yourself for this & be self motivated. Having said that, I did see the odd student in their 40s or 50s around campus.

    My advice is to think about what you might enjoy doing or what you're good at & map out a pathway to get there, whether that be be going back to uni to get a degree, doing a short training course or starting with jobs which might lead you there. Stick it out for the long haul & jump at opportunities as they come.

  • Heizenberg on 15/11/2016 - 16:48
    +3

    I went to uni straight from high school and I met so many other students who were aged 25-30 and plenty who were older than that. So there is no problem with going to uni at age 24, if thats the way you want to go.

  • scrimshaw on 15/11/2016 - 16:59
    +6

    at age 24 I think you are still young and as long as you have some life skills you are still competitive in the job market.

    Don't think it's all doom and gloom just yet. Keep your chin up and persevere.

    I was like you as well, I wasted the best years of my life at age 19, going to a university and dropping out after the 3rd semester, at age 21 I went to an expensive culinary school which I completed but never actually utilized, at age 25 I worked in retail after completing my business degree and now I'm 27 I'm starting to feel that reality has bitched-slapped me in the face. I still feel that I have achieved nothing noteworthy and I have yet many things to learn.

    I owe my parents a lot of money, but thankfully lady luck smiled on me and I managed to make some money somehow and pay them a lump sump. Still owing six figures though :(

    There are a whole heap of problems on my end, one of the main ones being that I have no qualifications and no path to a career.

    Qualifications are not neccessary in the modern age.

    Back in the 1990's uni degrees were a big thing and people with bachelor's were highly regarded, but fast forward 30 years, even truck drivers and plumbers have degrees and they manage to make a living still. And raise familes.

    in my retail job, I work with people younger than me who have Science, technology medicine and law degrees :)
    but to land a decent job you'd need to have the proper skills and experience to back you up. Most degrees are just a piece of paper that just shows you know the theory, but its not an indicator of whether you know how to apply theory to reality. Job-ready skills are not provided by your university — they are something you must acquire yourself!!

    • scrimshaw on 15/11/2016 - 18:58
      +2

      I also want to inform you about the state of IT work as a whole. The situation is rather complex, but as it stands a lot of IT work in australia is getting outsourced and off-shored to Sri Lanka.

      3 years ago, IBM slashed roughly 1500 jobs.

      and last year, the ICT support staff in a college that I used to work with… they're all gone and they've been replaced with a 3rd party IT provider. Since the students now have BYOD laptops, the 3 staff members who used to service the devices were no longer needed.

      As such, IT doesn't bode very well for people who don't have prior experience in IT and are looking to get a foothold in entry level jobs, since you will be competing with ones that were in the workforce and became unemployed.

      As a job seeker it's a good idea to be on the look-out for trends in the industry and read the news too. I hope the information I gave doesn't crush your dreams (it's not meant to!) but I hope that you remain vigilant with what's going on out there.

      If you believe you have a passion in IT though, I strongly recommend knowing how to code and work your way to become a programmer. It is one of the few IT related professions that still has a great future, and coding skills are also well respected (because not everyone knows how to code, despite working in IT)

      • tonyjzx on 15/11/2016 - 21:43
        +1

        I strongly suggest you dont go into programming either, that's being offshored as well.

        I would argue your best chance is to find something you're at least even mildly interested in… maybe you want a trade or maybe medical field or something you can devote you life to.

        You're like me and many people out there, you're directionless and you need something to occupy your mind and direct your attention.

  • Dreammist on 15/11/2016 - 17:58
    +2

    Dude - welcome to the land of the living!

    If it makes you feel any better - I frittered away my late teens and early twenties doing menial low paying jobs and did as much as I could to kill as many brain cells as I could.

    I decided to go to uni at 26 and finished five years later while working full time at a crappy job.

    I did a degree in something I thought I'd like, although by year five I just wanted out (although stuck it out and finished).

    I ended up working in a related field and while I have moved around a few times, I've now got my life back on track, a decent job I love and all is good in the world.

    Don't be too hard on yourself - it is never too late…you just need the perseverance to stick it out. At least do something you are interested in and maybe perhaps look at what your experiences in life have lead you to (even if it is to show you what you don't want to do).

  • MITM on 15/11/2016 - 18:35
    +2

    Life is made up of stages, childhood, teenage, young adult, adult, middle age, mature age. Years in each stage vary widely and there are stages within stages.
    Just look at each stage of your life as a person, and the next stage as the next person. Pick the best out of the previous persons you were and grow from there.

    You'll look back and say "who was that person" (good or bad).

    And on another note: recognising you have a problem is half the problem solved. Then a problem shared is a problem halved - so you've only got a quarter way to go. Good luck

  • Ithinkimtheking on 16/11/2016 - 08:15
    +1

    I hope you are able to cope op and find ways to overcome this.

    In my experience I've looked into the community services field, particularly just to help others. Tafe courses are available that are reasonably short and some can be worthwhile.

    If you have questions feel free to ask!

  • meeseeks on 17/11/2016 - 09:06
    +1

    Thanks to everyone for their kind and supportive replies. It's very constructive and just what I needed to hear. Still working through where to go from here. Looking at health, aged care and community services as well as suggested. I reckon IT on its own won't cut it. I'd probably need to do some business component with it like SAP (I heard that from another OZB forum post).

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