Does Anyone Know about Baby Night Feeding?

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  pufffdragon on 12/03/2016 - 12:55

  Throw the books and manuals all out the windows. They might be helpful with somethings but at the end of the day every baby is different.

  I see some people treat their babies like they just signed them up to the army or they came out of a clone robot factory. At this time you have to eat, and at this time you should be sleeping. Please, babies change every couple months so you just have to learn to adapt with them.

  There's no right or wrong when it comes to babies. It's all about what works, and what doesn't work. You'll figure it out. All the best!

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  gjk on 12/03/2016 - 18:56

  +6

  My recommendation would be to call the Australian Breastfeeding Association Mum-to-Mum hotline. You will speak to another mum who is a trained counselor and knows a lot about feeding (breast, formula and solids) and sleeping. Free call 1800 686 268 and operates 24/7. Sometimes it's valuable to just talk through your options with another mum.

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    red-hot on 12/03/2016 - 22:13

    ^^yes, this^^

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    Conka on 12/03/2016 - 22:34

    +1

    That sounds like a really valuable service. Wish we knew about that :)

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    Narx on 12/03/2016 - 23:03

    +1

    That sounds great. We'll have a try. Thanks mate.

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  corollachick on 13/03/2016 - 01:35

  +1

  you could try offering less and less milk at this feed til she is 'weaned' from it
  you can try water in the bottle instead of milk…. if she is waking from habit she might not think water is worth waking for!
  you can go cold turkey and see if she will settle without (or try the cry it out method)
  or you can just feed her as often as she likes til she decides to cut out the bottle herself.

  good luck with your decision… dont let others tell you she shouldnt be waking and base your decision on that. do what works for your family. ie - if it isnt a problem to get up and feed her once, then i see no problem with it! if it is an issue, try some different methods and see which works for you and her x

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  KBZ on 13/03/2016 - 08:24

  +4

  I find this thread very interesting for someone who doesn't have a kid. One day.

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    lainey13 on 02/04/2016 - 19:39

    Frankly it puts me right off!

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  Vhope07 on 13/03/2016 - 11:07

  +2

  I have a 18 month old boy and my experience is that the books and many other parents encourage you to get in to a fixed routine. Now thats great and done with the best intentions but I find myself avoiding those that think its the only way and everything I do is wrong because my baby is different.

  The best advice I received is to do what makes me and the baby happy. These are precious moments with our children that will never come back. If you want to sleep with the baby, go for it. If you want to feed the baby at night so she gets a good nights sleep - awesome! If you want some time in the afternoon and put the baby to sleep after lunch, nothing wrong with that either. I'd break any rule to keep my baby happy :)

  One thing I would be 'wary' of, is understanding when the baby is playing mind games with you and when s/he is genuinely distressed. Fortunately in our case the poor boy has a distinct cry when genuinely distressed (falling down, hungry, etc) and a funny fake cry to try get what he wants so he can't always manipulate us that easily but I like to spoil him sometimes anyway. This is only important for children to learn discipline (ignore if you don't mind unruly kids); but discipline early on tends to avoid getting in trouble with the authorities/law in later years.

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  tardisx on 13/03/2016 - 21:29

  +6

  Really interesting comments from everyone. My two cents.

  On my third child (after a 14 year break). This time around I threw pretty much everything out the window. What baby wants, baby gets. Yes there are "habits" but remember that babies aren't manipulative.

  Call me a hippy if you want, but we've been co-sleeping since almost day one, and everything has been much, much easier than the first two times around the traps.

  For the very early days we had a small co-sleeping 'crib' for her in the bed, later we setup a toddler bed "attached" to our bed, with appropriate rails up to avoid falls on the "far side". We migrated her to that bed after about 12 months. She ends up in our bed generally no earlier than 4-6AM, and we all sleep through until 8:30 or so. That progression was completely natural and fuss-free. She still has a nap during the day, and that's naturally progressed to being alone (at around 12 months again).

  We all get heaps of sleep, the only time we've suffered is when she's been sick (6am vomit in the face the other day :-P)

  I'm a naturally skeptical person, about as un-hippy as you can get, my wife is the one with the open mind as far as these things go. Once I sat down and did some reading on the actual dangers of co-sleeping (which are very very few, with a bit of setup) and the most recent research on the long-term impact to a babies brain when "crying it out" it became a no-brainer.

  Moving back to the original topic, she's still having at least one feed per night, usually around 11pm or so (18 months). Sometimes another around 4am, but more often than not it's only one now. Like moving into the toddler bed, this is a progression that's "just happened" - no forcing. Because of the co-sleeping, the night time feed barely wakes anyone up, everyone is happy.

  I'm not saying let the baby dictate the routine! But it's about leading them on a path, not laying the smack down. Dinner is done by 6:30, bath by 7:00, bed at 7:30. There are no bedtime struggles at all.

  It's worked for us, your mileage may vary.

  Everyone seems to agree that there's "no manual" but most people seem very concerned with asking others if they're doing "the right thing". Ignoring all that shit and just giving your baby what they want, when they want it is extremely liberating. It's been working out OK for mankind for a long time now.

  One thing I'd note, while I think there's nothing like co-sleeping, I'd very much recommend against doing it if you haven't read up and prepared for it. In particular, crashing on the couch because everyone's exhausted can be very dangerous - that's a long way down to a hard floor. In fact, it seems like a lot of the propaganda against co-sleeping includes incidents like falls from a couch as part of their "co-sleeping is dangerous" point - pretty bunk as far as I'm concerned.

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    YTW on 15/03/2016 - 01:38

    +2

    Yep, we are fans of co-sleeping too. Am pleased to say that we never experienced vomit on the face at any point though! Your approach sounds a lot like ours was in the end. Makes life a lot easier to just go with the flow and gently guide your kids towards things rather than trying to force it and have everyone end up miserable.

    For anyone interested in some more information on safe co-sleeping, Google Professor James McKenna. He has spent years researching it and is a leading authority on the topic.

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  xordis on 13/03/2016 - 23:07

  -2

  It's not too late. Get the book "Save our sleep"
  She claims you can start as late as 18 months, but it's a lot harder.

  Book works on sleeping 7-7 from 12 weeks. We did it from 16.
  Friend who put us onto it put 2 sets of twins through it with the same results.
  We have the occasional night where she wakes up between 9-11 for a quick drink of milk but will generally sleep through to 6-7am (6ish over summer cause the light and birds we think)

  Biggest thing to learn is it will take around 3 days to change a routine. You need to be hard on yourself and try to adjust.
  It is incredibly hard if you live in a crowded neighbourhood and feel bad for having a crying baby. We are close to the city so houses are close together. Our neighbours are really cool about it though and we put up with their two a few years back so they know all about it.

  The other thing I thought was completely useless but is the best thing ever is a timer on our baby monitor.
  You just hit start when you put them down, and time how long it takes them to settle.
  Ours would do it in around 7-8 minutes without fail. But I can tell you now, 5 minutes into crying it will feel like 30 minutes. You just have to be strong and follow the schedule.

  What is funny is people will bag out that book for being controversial, and the same people end up going to sleep school. Then you ask them what they did to help you at sleep school, and it will be the exact same routine from the book.
  Spending $20 now on a book instead of $300 for a session of sleep consultation is a good insurance policy.

  Also just reading through some other posts you made, she is getting up around 8pm and not going back down till 10:30. When she gets up are you turning the lights on in the room? You really need to keep quiet and the room dark so they don't completely wake up. Just put the bottle/boob in their mouth and let them "dream feed". When they are bored, put them back to bed. Don't let them wake up. One of the big things in Save our Sleep is feeding on a schedule, and not on demand. Demand feeding is what they will drum into you at the hospital and mothers groups, but if you get on the schedule early enough, you will start feeding the baby before they start demanding it. Babies like schedules.
  I know people who have 2yo's that still get up for hours a night, and they refuse to read the book. Their life, I am happy with mine.

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    BestofOZB on 14/03/2016 - 11:17

    +2

    Sounds like military to me!

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      xordis on 14/03/2016 - 14:34

      +1

      Yeah it's strict, but whilst I enjoy my 12 hours of no interruptions, I have friends with 2-3 year olds getting up 2-3 times a night, one for 2 hours a night around 1am.

      I will take the 4 months of strict routine for the peace once you finish it.

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        pufffdragon on 14/03/2016 - 18:11

        -1

        If you didn't want interruptions in your life why did you bother having kids?

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    sal78 on 14/03/2016 - 18:20

    yes i did get that book from tizzy hall for twins but a lot of what she expected was kind of hard with just me and two babies. too regimented. couldnt read it all.

    definately better resources out there.

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  minniethemoocher on 14/03/2016 - 13:05

  +2

  I see you are in Melbourne, your wife has access to free assistance from a Maternal Child Health nurse. You or your wife should speak to them about this issue. If you find one unhelpful talk another one. There are heaps of council and government services available with experts to help that you can use. Or you can phone 132229 24/7 they have lots of really helpful advice. You need to distinguish with them if it is a food or a sleep issue. If it's a food issue then they can give you advice on her diet or they can give you advice how to bring that feed earlier so she goes to sleep earlier and stay asleep. If it is a sleep issue is she is using the milk to comfort herself to go to sleep then they can give you other techniques for her to learn to go to sleep. Her bedtime should be around 7-7:30 and she needs around 12 hours sleep.
  Every child is different, my son would wake at night he didn't have enough food during the day, my daughter would because she didn't now how to self settle. An expert can help you work this out. Good luck. PS I tried save our sleep. It had some valid points but it was too regimented for me and I couldn't stick to.

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  sal78 on 14/03/2016 - 17:46

  if every night then you should do something about it.

  basically they feed however much they need based on their weight plus growth spurt. if she's hungry at night then you might want yo try squeezing that feed somewhere during the day or increasing her feed by 30mls. also once on solids they should be full.

  the midnight feed could be a habit. once you increase her feeds in the day and you know that she's had a lot then try to give her water or pat her back to sleep. if shes still feeding in the middle of the night by 1.5 to 2yo then can try controlled crying.

  i have 3 kids inc twins and they all slept 7pm to 7 am by around 8 weeks old with no feeds. the twins slept through on the same night so no fluke there. there was no crying, nothing, nothing regimented, we travelled, went out a lot, some late nights, growth spurts. we took twins to usa for 3 weeks when they were 9 mths old n they slept 11hrs of 13hr flight direct. once in a routine its easy to deviate and go back.

  if u can get it right. it's so much easier. no sleepless nights. more time, babysitting is easier because they just go to sleep. my kids are 7 and 9 now and stull sleep at 7:30pm each night. been good sleepers sincd birth.

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  Herbse on 15/03/2016 - 14:01

  +2

  Do whatever the kid wants man. It's a baby.

  Hungry? Feed her
  Crying? Hug her

  They have no idea what the hell is going on and have no concept of time. For all she knows, she thinks she is going to be hungry, sad and alone forever because no one is coming to here

  When I had my kid. I started off thinking we should let her cry and get her used to being alone. But it's just sad thinking thay all she wants is you.
  They won't be clingy forever, kids grow up in their own time. when they are, You'll wish you could go back to when they wanted nothing in the world but your attention.

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  Souljarh on 15/03/2016 - 14:22

  By 1 year of age they don't NEED a night feed unless they are sick or the weather is really really hot. (this is from a maternity and child healthcare nurse) Your baby might still WANT a feed based on what they are used to. Or you might think that is what they want when to wake up at night. Based on what information you provided, it seems you have a sleeping issue rather than a feeding issue at hand. My advice is to follow the numerous good advice already posted about changing your baby's sleep routine, then see where the night feeding fits into the picture. For us, our son stopped getting up at night when we moved him into his own room at 10 months. Then obviously the overnight feeding stopped. Goodluck

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