Can personality and charisma be taught? I have problems talking to new people and "keeping" friends.
A bit about me, I'm female, young with not a lot of friends i can trust,and looking for a graduate job. Personality wise, I'm not shy but feel awkward around others. Sometimes I feel I talk too much about myself so I ask open questions, then it gets awkward.
If anyone has tried toastmasters, please share on how it impacted you. Any recs for toastmasters clubs in Sydney will be appreciated.
Can personality and charisma be taught?
You can certainly improve on methods of how you communicate them both, yes.
I'm naturally extremely introverted, but my job requires me to be regularly "switched on" and extroverted. It's a skill I learned to be good at like all the other skills a job requires.
Personally I learned at a relatively young age via debating and public speaking. But I've had a friend who used toastmasters and it made the world of difference - his awkwardness and lack of confidence in public settings just seemed to disappear.
Just treat it like learning any other skill - practise makes perfect.
Yeah debating is a good skill but I had a confidence issue and regret not putting myself out there. Thanks for the encouragement, glad to hear about your friend and your self-improvement.
I did toastmaster before but not in Syd, I'm from Melbourne. They offer a free trial I believe, like you could just rock up once or twice before you decide to join them full time.
There are lots of toastmaster group depending on which are you area in, and each of those Toastmaster's club might consist of people from different work background like professionals, students etc.
The one I attend was a mixture of professional and students, there are only like less than 10 people at the time I was attending. In my opinion the activity they have is very engaging and will definitely help you to improve your ability in public speaking.
I would suggest you to contact the local toastmaster club that you want to attend and see if you could visit them for a "free trial".
It can help you break out of your shell and teach you some better speaking skills, but probably the best way to combat your issues would be to address the heart of them. One of the above commenters was right: people can sense awkwardness, but it's not necessarily that people try to make it worse, sometimes it's just that uncomfortability spreads.
I'd recommend Toastmasters, but I'd also recommend some therapy to look at what makes you uncomfortable when interacting with new people, the thought processes which drive that feeling. From there you can work on strategies to be more comfortable when talking with people.
I would also be interested in recommendations of toastmasters in Sydney :-)
I am a member of Enthusiastic Epping Toastmasters. Toastmasters is a really great platform to overcome shyness, make new friends and above all to improve your communication skills and social interactions. I will suggest you to join any Toastmaster club near your area. Go there with open mind to learn new things. Its always good to visit 2-3 clubs and joining after that.
If you're around Epping, you're more welcome to visit enthusiastic epping toastmasters. We meet every 1st, 3rd and 5th Tuesdays of the month around 6:40 PM.
Do it - find a local club and give it a go. It will give you the confidence to talk in front of others. I did toastmasters while I was at uni, and genuinely believe you will gain life skills by attending. Some meet in the mornings before work, some at lunch and some in the evenings. Find one that works for you.
I also say DO IT. I did it during uni and it has changed my life (really!). For me, I did it to get over my fear of public speaking which I NEVER thought was possible. I went into it thinking I would get nothing out of it and indeed I made a fool of myself a few times but it's in a very supportive environment :)
Fast forward 10 years and I no longer get the "OMG I HAVE TO DO A SPEECH" panic anymore. Now, it's "ok, I have to present what can I do to make it better than the last one?".
I work in market research where we have to present market data to key brands in the consumer electronics industry. I look back now and thank TM for helping me get over my fear of public speaking and turned me into a respected presenter.
Just find a club that's near you for convenience.
all the best, sometimes if you feel awkward, thr other people might sense it and deliberatly make it worse… not nice people. Good people will make it easier, we are all the same after all.