Is marriage a bargain?

[Deactivated] on 30/01/2015 - 19:50
Last edited 30/01/2015 - 22:03

There are quite a few men who says: "why buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free?"
and there are quite a few women who thinks: "why buy an entire pig, just to get a little sausage?"

Are they right? Could being single be the real bargain?

Thought this might help any romeos who are planning to pop the question on v-day. We might end up saving them some big bucks :)

So how happy are you in your marriage, relative to how happy you would be if you weren't in the marriage?

Edit: Apologies re. typos and grammatical mistakes. can't edit poll to correct them :(

Poll Options

  • 139
    The happiest I've ever been: my spouse fills my heart with love and my world with happiness.
  • 32
    Marriage sucks: Getting married was a mistake.It neither heaven nor hell. Its purgatory.
  • 28
    Happier married: I'm made the right decision.I might be poorer but I'm more contented.
  • 18
    Same : would be just as happy being single...but I would have a lot more savings.
  • 13
    Marriage is THE worst mistake I've ever made: I never believed in hell until I married her/him.
General Discussion

Comments

      • AussieDolphin on 31/01/2015 - 18:07
        +3

        Correct :(.

        • [Deactivated] on 01/02/2015 - 00:29
          +1

          @3blessings: love doesn't hurt.If it hurts, its not love :(

        • AussieDolphin on 01/02/2015 - 00:34

          @wicket1120: So sweet, thanks

  • centrelink on 31/01/2015 - 16:30

    Marriage is something we made up so we can feel better about ourselves, like everything else its a gimmick and all it serves is a legal binding and people try to make meaning out of it when it really doesn't.

    • Logical on 31/01/2015 - 18:47
      -3

      If that's what you believe then You'll be single till the very end

      • redraoh on 31/01/2015 - 19:13
        -1

        You can still have relationships with women.

      • centrelink on 31/01/2015 - 23:32

        I'm just living with my SO anyways. Being married or not, it does not change our intimacy at all, except that I will be in a legally binding contract that will screw me over if something were to happen down the road.

        Plus I don't rely on social structure on how to live my life. Its so good never having to work a single day but still making dosh. Social structure will make people think I'm on the dole, but heck I freed myself from that :)

  • [Deactivated] on 31/01/2015 - 17:42

    nvm

  • skillet on 01/02/2015 - 00:29
    +2

    If you can keep money out of relationship then you will have a good start in your marriage. So stop thinking about how to cheap out on a marriage.

    I dated and lived together with my wife for 10 years before we decided to get married just because we wanted to start a family. You know some cultures will spew s* all over your parents if you have a kid without tying the knot. A full fledged wedding, it cost a bomb. We never discuss who's contributing more but always show gratitude.

    It's good to be in Australia because the government does not mandate official marriage cert to allow for family benefits. I don't recall any gov bodies require my marriage certificate. It's not cheap to raise a family so lots of planning. Here you can use your ozb skills to the max. I am hardworking enough not to depend too much on gov assistance. The happiness and moments you do as a family is priceless. So I would say it's a bargain. For me at least.

    Also there exists "Princess disease"(yes the term originate from Asia and applies to male too) in each and every culture or race, please don't judge a person by ethnic. So study the person really hard when you date. In today age, I think it's 50/50, but as a male I contribute more just to see my wife's smile and you know what's going to happen the following night…

    Finally if you are planning a divorce in the future, then it's definitely not a bargain.

  • sulmar on 01/02/2015 - 05:02

    Can anyone tell me why there's a much higher divorce rate for love marriages as compared to arranged ones?

    • lenlynn on 01/02/2015 - 10:36
      +1

      My guesses- some love marriages were on impulse (e.g married after too short a dating period) or they married too young or their childhood sweethearts without considering how they might change when they get older AND they did not consider the practical side of things (e.g. finances, no of children each wants, daily living e.g. some things are cute while dating, but won't be after a year of living together).

      Arranged marriages they stuck it out no matter what, they trust their families to find a suitable partner for them and consider all practicalities and maybe they did, and even if they wanna divorce, it may be a greater stigma in their society (a society that had arranged marriages).

      I think the question should be, are people in love marriages happier or those in arranged ones?

      • scrimshaw on 01/02/2015 - 10:57
        +1

        Divorce is seen as taboo in some Asian cultures (India for e.g), so statistically it may seem arranged marriages may be more successful than love marriages. The reputation of Asian families are usually are protected by some kind of honor code that places expectations on the behaviour of women (that is, stay faithful to the husband) and this usually restricts them from making free choices.

        Divorce for them may as well be a ticket to getting disowned by their family.

        • lenlynn on 01/02/2015 - 14:30

          Yup my grandparents were match made and she stuck with him despite the abuse and philandering. Mom was in a bad relationship and her own brothers scolded her for getting a divorce and her sisters-in-law were sent to 'counsel' her too.

          That being said, I do believe people nowadays are backing out of marriages without trying their best to save it. Divorce has been made too easy.

        • ProjectZero on 02/02/2015 - 11:54

          @lenlynn:

          That being said, I do believe people nowadays are backing out of marriages without trying their best to save it. Divorce has been made too easy.

          Well, just like everything else to do with married life… when in doubt, pull out… ;)

        • WillKillfor5Cents on 02/02/2015 - 19:54
          +2

          @lenlynn: Another factor I could think of which resonate with your point is that in love marriages, people tend to ignore the long term future. They think that love conquers all. But clearley, marriage is hard work. When sh*t hits the fan, both party just get out and get a divorce. While in arranged marriage, couples understand that marriage is a commitment, obligation and most importantly is hard work. Coupled with stigma attached to getting divorced, they tend to at least try to fix the marriage rather than simply giving up and call it a day.

    • rilebags on 01/02/2015 - 18:12

      The feeling of new love eventually dries up and some people can't handle that. On the other hand arranged marriages aren't based on that feeling, for better or for worse idk.

    • [Deactivated] on 02/02/2015 - 08:02

      Because if you are willing to marry someone to safeguard family honour or as a display of obedience to your parents you're less likely to divorce someone and bring shame to your family and, by extension, prove your parents choose poorly for you.

      I'll never understand arranging a marriage for someone else. Anyone who thinks it's a good idea to chose who someone is expected to be with for the rest of their lives is bonkers.

  • [Deactivated] on 01/02/2015 - 17:46
    -1

    I'm so hideous that I have to pay for a lot of drinks at bars/meals at restaurants/trivial token gifts for women to appreciate me and give me the time of day.

    I feel that if I somehow forced a woman into marriage, I would be saving a lot of money in the longer term.

    So hell yes to marriage! Now, any single ladies here?…. my shout.

  • T1OOO on 01/02/2015 - 21:00

    Claim the life insurance ;)

    • ProjectZero on 02/02/2015 - 11:52
      +1

      You jumped straight to the easy part… the hard part is to stage an accident…

      • onlyletters on 02/02/2015 - 13:24

        Feds have been dispatched.

  • maximum on 01/02/2015 - 21:49
    +2

    Definitely better off married - I think we both are. We both work which I think makes a difference. I can't imagine supporting a stay at home parent after the kids have gone to school, I would feel used.
    I don't think we have given up anything by getting married we travel overseas at least twice a year , have an awesome house and some pretty great kids. We make a pretty good team.

  • congo on 01/02/2015 - 23:08

    Marry the right person = heaven.
    Marry the wrong person = hell.

  • ProjectZero on 02/02/2015 - 11:59
    +1

    Hey JJB, I think you should add the option

    "Careful!!!! It's a trap!"

    • [Deactivated] on 02/02/2015 - 16:31
      +2

      First come the engagement ring…then the wedding ring …and then come suffering YMMV ;)

      • ProjectZero on 02/02/2015 - 16:55

        Lol paying someone to make you suffer… prepare every guy has a bit of masochism inside… =P

  • onlyletters on 02/02/2015 - 13:23
    +2

    You need to evaluate why you want to marry if you decide to take that step.

    If you think; I want to marry her because 'she is beautiful' or 'because we've been dating forever' or 'she is so sweet' or 'she is rich'… All this stuff doesn't last forever so you're trapping yourself.

    Ideally you want to marry someone that keeps you happy for ever. No one wants to live alone and live an empty life and it all comes down to choosing the right partner. When you get over 30, no girl wants to date, they want to feel secure so if you decide to stay single the girl will say goodbye and you'll be making frequent visits to the local brothel because your hand just doesn't cut it anymore..

    "You don't know anyone until you live with them!"

  • Forfiet on 02/02/2015 - 17:54

    marriage isn't a bargain……it's a investment……for better or worse :P

    • scrimshaw on 02/02/2015 - 20:24
      +1

      Perhaps it's more accurate to say it's a gamble?

      You know the saying:
      "Marriage" - Betting someone half your shit that you'll love them forever

      • Forfiet on 02/02/2015 - 20:42

        Most investments are still inherently a gamble……just sometimes the safest form of it!??! But your saying is nonetheless a apt description…..mwahahaa

        • leiiv on 03/02/2015 - 00:33
          +1

          and no tax on gambling income, 50% tax discount on capital gain (investment), so I say investment is 50% gambling..

        • Forfiet on 03/02/2015 - 01:35

          @leiiv: touché

    • skywards on 03/02/2015 - 12:51

      It's definitely a risk that comes with all sorts of challenges.

  • [Deactivated] on 03/02/2015 - 09:48
    +4

    Because this is bargain forum, I'm not gonna talk about love…
    Basically:
    Without kids marriage is cheaper in long term. You share the cost of rent/mortgage, the food (if you cook at home), bills, etc. You also save the trips to visit him/her. It's only expensive in the beginning if you have a wedding.

    With kids, this totally change. A baby spend on average between $4k-14k in the first year. Diapers alone cost about $13k yearly (with full RRP).
    Then the cost of daycare, which is about $70-100 a day until kindy starts.
    Then kindy starts, which can be cheaper if you sent them to Public school, if not can be about $6-10k a year.
    Then High school which in private can be about $12-20k yearly.

    Survey says that a kid can cost from $145-455k in total until they reach 18 years old.

    The reward of paying all that is invaluable, ask any parent! Their smile, their cries, their good/bad marks in school, their marriage, their future children, none of that can be replaced with any luxury cars/condo.

    Having said that, also remember that you are all a baby and kid before and your parents took care of you and pay you all that, and that you should thank and reward them by being a good kid.

    • lenlynn on 03/02/2015 - 15:16

      What you said reminded me of what I saw this morning.

      I was driving to work and saw a lady waiting at the side of the road. She was with a child (about 8years old?) in front of her hugging her and she was smiling and looking at him in a way that you know she loves him. I was like, wow I should take a photo and it will probably win some award. Very touching.

    • [Deactivated] on 03/02/2015 - 20:36

      Because this is bargain forum, I'm not gonna talk about love…

      I will :)

      Beware young Romeos and Juliets, love will wreck your heart like a derailed train. So choo-choose your partner wisely :b

  • tdw on 03/02/2015 - 17:25
    +1

    i'd say it's a bargain if you both have the same attitudes to financial matters

  • [Deactivated] on 03/02/2015 - 20:13
    +4

    In the spirit of this site, I feel compelled to say this:

    You can't put a price tag on love…but if you could, I’d wait for it to go on sale ;)

    • ProjectZero on 04/02/2015 - 10:41

      So would you consider your husband to be a bargain or overpriced?

      ;P

      • [Deactivated] on 04/02/2015 - 19:55
        +3

        He was a freebie :b

  • z00m on 04/02/2015 - 10:14

    Are there any financial incentives to get married these days? Such as tax breaks etc?

    • ProjectZero on 04/02/2015 - 10:42
      +1

      There only seems to be financial incentives for having kids… the guys get it easier because we don't have to carry the kid for 9 months… BUT we have to hear about it for 9 months… so fair trade off?

  • [Deactivated] on 04/02/2015 - 20:06
    +1

    Could this be the reason why some women are still single ? : the perfect man, according to women sigh

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