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Give a Lifetime Achievement Award for Excellence in Human Creation for Mother's Day ($1,000,000 value)
Mothers' Day gifts are important - while expensive jewellery may result in promotion to Favourite Child status, giving Mum an iron may get you demoted to somewhere between Least Favourite Child and Family Dog.
$0 for a Lifetime Achievement Award for Excellence in Human Creation.
The highly coveted Lifetime Achievement Award for Excellence in Human Creation is like winning the Nobel Prize in Mothering, but better. Like all the best things in life, it has no monetary value but is extremely hard to earn. Winners must have manufactured and/or raised a real, live human being, and must be nominated by a child, friend or other loved one who sincerely believes she has done a great job.
Acknowledge your mum - or someone else's - for her exceptional achievements in creating world-class humans.
I'd rather have the First Annual Montgomery Burns Award for Outstanding Achievment in the Field of Excellence