I am interested to know what people think. My half sister is getting married in New Zealand - we are only going over for the wedding and it will cost us quite a lot. Do I still have to buy a present? We are not overly close as she has always lived in NZ and I obviously live in Australia.
Overseas wedding - do I still buy a present?
alwaysis on 17/11/2013 - 10:05
Comments
I think it is inconsiderate if the invite doesn't tell you. It is common for them to say 'your attendance is enough, no gift required'. Alternatively if they do expect a gift, they should give an indication of what they want (registry, cash, donation, etc).
If you have no information they probably haven't thought about it enough, and probably expect something. In this case I would probably look for a token gift.
Never turn up empty handed. Yeah its in NZ but a small gift is still customary.
I always buy a gift because it costs a lot to have a wedding and plus they're paying for the function venue, your meals and entertainment…etc. so I think it's nice to give something in return, but on top of that I just like giving gifts for special occasions, like, you'd do it for Christmas, birthdays…etc. so why not a wedding? :)
Normally for a destination wedding I would say 'no'.
If the happy couple want to shift the costs of their wedding onto their guests by going to Bali/Thailand/etc then they can't also expect a gift.
However, in this case it isn't really a destination wedding at all - your half-sister has always lived in NZ - so maybe something small but meaningful.Definitely not. If you got out of going to the wedding, which personally would be my preference, then you could have sent a gift since you saved money. Otherwise no. I hate it when we get invited to events we have to pay for (meals & drinks) and then they ask for/expect more. No, I already paid. I'm not paying twice.
The idea behind gits at weddings was to start the couple off with some household gear. Today, as most people already have everything they need, you're either doubling up or wasting money on something that is sure to be re-gifted down the road.
+1
Take a card and some tape and drop it in the present pile. Let them workout who gave them whatever it sticks to.
Your half sister was gracious enough to invite you, and yet you are grumbling about buying her a gift. Maybe don't go to the wedding and spend half the money you would have spent on travelling on a gift instead, that way you both win. Let the negs rain!
When my hubby's relatives came over from NZ for our wedding they all gave us a present (it was the local caravan-park crazies who did the showing up, eat/drink everything and not give anything). I didn't really have any expectations either way.
A small, thoughtful gift would be nice. It is your half sister after all, even if you aren't particularly close, you are related. In terms of overall cost it won't add much to your expenditure for the event and won't risk a family rift if she does have expectations (however right or wrong it is to have them).
duty free booze
I got married in Fiji recently. I didn't expect people to buy presents and said so much on the invite. But I did provide a registry should people want to buy a small gift.
I personally think if you're expected to travel then a present isn't expected but it's always nice to give something. One of my favourite presents from my wedding was a Fijian photo album that cost like $10 in the gift shop.
nice wedding? where did you hold it?
Amazing wedding. We had quite a few people make the trip too as we gave them 2 years notice.
We held it at Sofitel in Nadi. The only real disappointment was the beach had been hammered by the cyclone a few months back and they hadn't imported new sand yet meaning we had to move the ceremony from the beach to a patch of grass by the beach. You win some, you lose some I guess.
I went to a friends wedding in Auckland recently, I've known him for a short period of time only, but i still decided its only right to gift. So a card and few hundred in cash and that was it. I did comtemplate AUD or NZD though, lol
It's only in forum posts like this that we really get to see the full spectrum of Ozbargainer's generosity.
I buy beers (usually a carton) whenever I go to my mates' place regardless if it's up the road or in another country, so using this as a metric I'd buy something small and around the $100 mark (NZD, for optimal ozbargaination).
To each their own really. This is your sister after all, how many of those do you have? If I had a sister I'd chip in big for her wedding, and most likely MC the reception, but this kinda thing is pretty subjective.
Thanks everyone - they have asked for gift vouchers. I will probably just spend $100 - $150 or so. If we were close obviously it would be more :)
I went to my friend's wedding in Thailand, and we bought a BBQ between 8 of us and gave it to them in Australia.